Darkness on The Edge of Town
by Drive all night
Summary: Burzek...Being a teenager isn't easy, being the parents of teenagers may just about be the hardest thing they have done. How do #Burzek cope with helping and watching their kids grow up and can they survive their wild trip through the angst filled teenage years. Who handles it better Adam or Kim?
1. Tears

**_A/N: Well here is the thing….I kinda got challenged (or bugged…same thing) to write a follow up to a previous story with a couple of #Burzek kids all grown up. This particular story is a follow on from 'The Ties that Bind' – however you don't really need to read that to follow this one. It is a stand alone story as such. I didn't think I could do it, it wasn't really my thing but I do like a challenge so this is the result._**

 ** _It's not all sunshine and roses but it was a nice change to write a story that didn't involve Burzek fighting, breaking up, doing stupid things with stupid people (I'm looking at you Burgess) and any of our favourites lives in peril._**

 ** _So onto the story…_**

"Nice of you to come home." Adam was sitting in the half dark and she jumped when he spoke as she closed the front door quietly behind her. While she couldn't really see him by the tone of his voice she could tell he was pissed.

"Sorry Dad."

"What part of midnight didn't you get?"

"I lost track of time."

"Hmm…" he grabbed his phone off the table where he had thrown it earlier. "At 1230 when I sent you a message you replied, _on my way_. Then at 1am when I called you, you didn't answer and now it is 130am and all I get is I lost track of time. Try again."

"I'm sorry."

He stood up and stopped in front of his 17 year old daughter, he no longer towered over her like he once did but he was still taller than her and he was an imposing figure compared to her slight frame which she had fortunately inherited from her mother. His beard when he let it grow a little was now tinged with grey and he had a few more lines around his eyes but Adam was still fit and strong as he hurtled towards fifty. "Have you been drinking?" He could tell, just by being this close to her that she didn't smell like alcohol.

"No."

"I'll take your phone." Adam held out his hand. Kim had taught him, no matter how much he wanted to ream her out right now that waiting until they all calmed down was the wisest course of action. It got him nowhere losing his shit all over the place, especially at 130 in the morning.

"Please Dad, I'm sorry."

"Your phone Polly." She burst into tears as she handed it over but he was unswayed by her tears. She knew the rules. "You can have it back tomorrow."

He never looked at her phone, he had no interest in trawling through her messages to see where she had been because that would be breaking her trust and unless he thought she was in danger he wasn't about to do that but taking away her phone was one way to show her that he was seriously pissed off.

They trusted Polly but that didn't stop them worrying. It was just lately that she was starting to act a little strange and that was starting to freak him out. Kim was a lot calmer about it, trying to tell him it was just usual teenage girl behaviour but Adam wasn't putting up with it. That's not how this house worked.

He had always struggled with the fact that one day Polly wasn't going to be his little girl that cuddled up to him every night. He thought his daughter was beautiful and apparently so did a lot of other people. She had his height and her mother's willowy frame. Her hair was more his colour, that dirty blond but her eyes were large dark orbs framed by long eyelashes like her mother. She was going to be the death of him.

Leaning forward he kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Love you Baby girl. We'll talk in the morning." He never failed to tell his kids that he loved them. He might be angry with them or in a foul mood himself but every night and every time they left the house he told them he loved them. He'd heard from too many parents, when he stood in front of them and told them that their babies were gone that they wished they'd told them they loved them more. Polly had started to complain about it until Adam told her why he did it and she accepted it and deep down she did like it. In general their relationship was pretty rock solid. Polly respected her father and she did love him, even though right now he was taking away her lifeline.

"Love you Dad."

Adam flicked off the lights once Polly had headed upstairs and crept into his bedroom. Kim was fast asleep; they would take it in turns to wait up if Polly was out. Tonight was his turn and there was a game on that he was happy to watch but that finished well before his daughter finally made it through the door.

"Polly's home?" she mumbled as she instinctively rolled into his side when he climbed into bed.

"Yep." He kissed his wife quickly. "Go to sleep."

"Is she late?"

"She's fine. Go back to sleep."

Adam felt Kim get up and he opened one eye, saw that it was still early judging by the weak sunlight streaming through the curtains and closed it again. "It's early?" he asked as Kim came back to bed.

"It is." Still, to this day she loved curling into her husband's side and tucking her head under his chin. "Why was Polly late?"

Adam moved his arm slightly and Kim lifted her head so that he could slip his arm around her before she settled back down. "Apparently she lost track of time."

"What time did she get home?"

"One thirty."

"You didn't yell did you?"

"No, I did not yell." He didn't even open his eyes. "I did take her phone though."

"I am guessing Polly wishes you'd yelled instead." Kim chuckled. Taking away a teenager's phone was the ultimate punishment. Her whole life was on that phone, as she kept telling them. The day it crashed it was like the world had ended, her over dramatic wailing was highly amusing and Adam's lack of concern had sent her completely off the rails.

Kim was downstairs making herself a coffee and one to take up to Adam when Polly appeared in the kitchen. Angus had already been picked up to go to Baseball. Kim looked the clock, Adam would need to get moving if they were going to make his game.

"Is Dad angry?"

"What do you think?"

"I am sorry Mom."

"Why were you late?"

"Abbey. She'd didn't want to leave and I didn't want to leave her there alone." Polly knew that lying was a pointless exercise and she didn't even try anymore but she was going to try to get away with giving as little information as possible. Having cops as parents could be particularly annoying at times. They pretty much always knew when you were lying. She had also learnt that if she got her mother on her side she would placate her Dad.

"Why didn't you tell your Dad that? He would have come and got you and Abbey. You know that." Something wasn't adding up as far as Kim was concerned. Polly knew that either her or Adam would drive across Chicago if she needed them to for her or her friends. It was a weak excuse; they would never leave their children stranded.

Abbey and Polly had been friends for almost six years and Abbey had certainly spent more than enough time here that she was no longer considered a guest but more like a semi-permanent resident. They didn't mind and would rather they hung out here than out doing god knows what. Things had started changing lately and Abbey was talking Polly into going out a lot more. It did concern them a little but they had to realise that their baby girl was growing up and this was part of it. They had no reason not to trust her and until she broke that trust they were willing to meet her halfway. Lately though Polly was starting to push the envelope a little too much and Adam wasn't loving it.

They'd certainly gone through a stage themselves where 'hangin' with your olds' was considered naff. Letting go was hard though and Kim was just grateful that Angus still liked them. She was no where near ready to let her baby boy go yet, just as Adam struggled to let his girl grow up.

"Abbey didn't want me too."

"Why didn't Abbey want to leave?"

Polly shrugged. "I don't know." It was a pretty weak answer.

"I don't believe that. Is Abbey in trouble?"

"No. I just think she was really enjoying the party." Kim wasn't completely sold on Polly's version of events but pushing her right now wasn't going to win her over. She was obviously protecting her friend and making sure she got home okay was the right thing to do.

"Was she drinking?"

"A little, but I didn't Mom. I swear." There were tears in her daughter's eyes.

"I know. Your Dad told me."

"Can I get my phone back? I want to make sure she's okay." She was hopping from foot to foot.

"You need to ask your father." Polly groaned and rolled her eyes. "That's probably not going to do it." Kim warned her. One thing Adam didn't put up with was attitude and Polly was full of it some days.

Kim told her to take her father up his cup of coffee which she baulked at. Her mother reminded her that she was more likely to get on his good side if she approached him rather than sit and wait for the hammer to fall.

"Dad." She knocked on the door and entered without waiting for his reply. He was still asleep so she put his coffee beside his bed and made the big mistake of picking up her phone, which was on his side table and turning it on. Before she had the chance to put it on silent it beeped with an alert.

"What are you doing?" Adam made her jump. "Did I say you could have it back yet?"

For the second time in a few hours he held out his hand and Polly burst into tears as she handed him her phone.


	2. Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

The slamming of a bedroom door told Kim that perhaps things hadn't gone so well for her daughter. Adam's appearance a little later, showered and ready to go to Angus's game also did not fill her with confidence, he had a face like thunder. "So, I guess Polly's not happy."

Adam pulled her phone out of his pocket and waved it in his wife's direction. "Not really."

"What happened?"

"She took it without asking."

"Adam." Kim looked a little exasperated as she handed him a toasted sandwich and grabbed her jacket and bag. It was starting to get a little chilly in the mornings and if they weren't sitting in the sun it could get quite cold. As much as possible they tried to make sure that they got to as many games as they could, even if at times it was only one of them. They could never be accused of not being involved in their children's lives having sat through more ball games, hockey games and ballet recitals than they could count.

Kim had given up the beat a few years ago and was now desk Sergeant at the 21st after Trudy had finally had enough and retired. Briefly she had ventured up into Intelligence but it had always weighed heavily on Kim's mind how dangerous it was when they had two young children at home and she couldn't ask Adam to give it up. He loved it. He'd done a stint at Narcotics and Homicide for a couple of years and then took a posting with the DEA for a year before coming back to Intelligence where Jay Halstead was now his boss. So she went back onto Patrol and eventually worked her way up to her current position as desk Sergeant and it was fortunately more an 8 to 4 job, which worked out well for them and their family with Adam's haphazard hours.

"All she had to do was ask and try talking rather than crying." Sometimes he couldn't bear to see her tears but she'd pushed his buttons last night and he was tired and grumpy which did not bode well for Polly. "Did she tell you why she was late?"

"Something about Abbey not wanting to leave and she didn't want to abandon her. That's not a bad thing."

"Never said it was but she didn't actually tell me that when she finally showed her face at one thirty this morning." Adam grabbed his keys and wallet and handed Kim Polly's phone for her to put in her bag. "Would that have been so hard, rather than all I got was I lost track of time."

"What if we need to call her?"

"For what? She's not going anywhere this morning that's for damn sure." He was starting to look like he was done with this conversation while he tapped his foot impatiently waiting for Kim.

There was probably no point arguing with Adam. He was pretty set in his ways when it came to things like this. He wasn't overly strict with the kids but when he decided to do something he stuck to it and all he ever asked of Kim was to back him up in front of the kids. When they weren't around they would often disagree with each other but together they were a united front. "What are you going to do?"

"Let her stew on it for a bit. I'll talk to her when we get home. Come on, we'll be late." He headed for the door and rolled his eyes a little when Kim told him she was going to tell Polly they were leaving. "Don't give her that damn phone back."

Kim dashed upstairs while Adam started the car and knocked on Polly's door. She was back in bed and pretending to be asleep. "We are going now. We'll be back in a couple of hours. I think your Dad will want to talk to you then so I expect you to be here and out of bed. There is some washing that you could do and I'd appreciate being able to see your floor when we get back."

"He took my phone." It was Polly's weak attempt at getting it back.

"Yes he did, and he still has it so don't bother going looking for it." Kim may not necessarily agree with Adam but it wasn't worth spending the next few hours with him in a foul mood if he found out she gave Polly her phone. He'd made his decision, and they were always pretty final.

By the time they got home Polly was up and had tidied her room and put on a load of washing. She was sitting in the lounge watching TV. Adam picked up the remote and turned it off and sat opposite his daughter. "You want to tell me the real reason you were late?"

Polly twisted her hands in her lap. Even though her Dad very rarely yelled at them he still had a way of making them know that he was angry and annoyed. Polly was bracing for impact and whatever her punishment was going to be. "Abbey was acting weird and wanted to stay. I didn't want to leave her there alone."

"Okay." He nodded. "I understand that, but why didn't you just send me a message or call me and tell me that. I think we have made that perfectly clear over the years don't you? I don't particularly like sitting up waiting for you half the night."

"I'm sorry Dad."

"What's up with Abbey?" At the end of the day Polly was a good kid, she rarely did anything that could be considered terrible but Adam and Kim liked to think that was because of the way they had raised both her and Angus. Angus was definitely going to cause them trouble, they could see that but all in all they were good kids.

Angus was a lot like Adam was as a teenager and that worried Adam. He hadn't exactly been a model child and found himself in his fair share of sticky situations. He always managed to either charm or fight his way out of it and Angus seemed to be heading the same way. Even when he was younger he always found trouble or ways to throw himself into things with little regard for his own safety. They hoped that his sudden interest in taking his sport far more seriously would help rein him in.

Polly shrugged nonchalantly. It was certainly a habit his daughter had developed that he didn't really love. "You can drop the attitude right now." He snapped.

"I don't know. She was in a bad mood."

"Really? And she was drinking?"

"Yes."

"Were you?"

"No, I swear Dad. I didn't have anything to drink." Both Adam and Kim were pretty certain that Polly, or Angus for that matter would not wait until they were 21 to have their first drink. They'd obviously seen their parents drink, as Adam always had a beer with dinner and Kim would often have a wine or join Adam with a beer but rarely did they see them drunk. On the odd occasion they had a big night out the kids were usually not home and if they were it was typically Adam who was worse for wear, never both of them at the same time. Alcohol wasn't this big taboo subject but 17 was way too young and Polly knew it would mean an end to being let out to go to parties if she was caught drinking. Another fun side effect of being the daughter of two cops, it wasn't just their rules it was also the law.

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come and got you both. Abbey could have stayed here." They knew that Abbey's home life wasn't all beer and skittles. Her parents had split up a few years ago and her Dad was now living in New York. Her mother had paraded a variety of different boyfriends through the place since but for the past two years she had settled down though and had the same guy but Abbey still spent a lot of time at their place.

While he'd see a lot of Polly's tears lately these were unexpected and there was something about them that worried him. "She made me promise not to tell anyone." He did not like kids and their secrets; it unnerved him. Having heard more than his fair share over the years he found it hard to not let his mind spin off to a completely unappealing direction.

"Tell anyone what?"

"Nothing." Polly had to think quickly. "Probably about her drinking. Her Mom would lose her friggin' shit."

Adam cocked his head to the side, not appreciating Polly's language. "Really Pol?"

"Sorry. Her Mom would freak out and Simon would be a dick about it. I tried to help."

Adam frowned at her, the language wasn't great but he had no one to blame but himself because in all the years he hadn't been able to rein himself in and Kim had basically given up trying. He reached into his pocket and handed her back her phone. "How long has she been drinking?"

"I think this was the first time." She lied smoothly, she'd already said too much. She just hoped her Dad bought it. "I didn't like what it did to her."

"I am sure you didn't." Adam scratched him rough stubble for a moment. "Promise me you'll tell me if she keeps drinking or you are worried and I don't want you in a car with her or anyone else if they are drinking. That's not an option Polly." He warned her. Drink driving was one of his biggest fears once Polly started heading out with friends more often. He trusted her to be smart because he'd spent the best part of seventeen years drumming it into her, he just didn't trust other people.

"I won't Dad. I hope that last night might make her stop. It was pretty ugly; she was vomiting all over the place. It was horrible." Polly's tears started again and at least Adam was grateful for the fact that it seemed to have frightened the crap out of his daughter. Sometimes words were just words but when you saw it up close and personal it was only then that the lesson was learned.

He tapped the phone in her hand. "Call Abbey. She's been calling you all morning. And Polly, last chance."

"Thanks Dad." She jumped up from the couch and nearly knocked Adam backwards with her hug.

He was such a push over as far as Polly was concerned. He tried to be tough but it had lasted all of half a day. Probably why Kim just let him go, she knew as well as Polly that she would get her phone back and be told she was on her last chance and that would be the end of it. "You are such a softy." Kim teased him when she came into the lounge and found him watching a Cubs game. Kim could tell by the excited running up the stairs and relaxed nature of Adam that Polly had got what she wanted.

"Shhh." He patted the seat next to him. "Come and cuddle me."

"No." Her mouth might have said no but her eyes were giving her away.

"No?" Adam narrowed his eyes playfully and held out his hand.

"Why should I?"

"Because you love me, you think I'm hot and because I am an awesome Dad."

"Oh, Okay." Instead of cuddling him she sat astride his lap and kissed him sweetly. The kids were always complaining about their PDA's, telling them they were gross and disgusting. Adam had roared with laugher when Polly told them to 'get a room' recently although Kim had been mortified.

"Maybe I will take your mother up to our room right now." He had teased Polly as he tried to get his hands under Kim's shirt while she was batting his hand away.

"Dad, you are feral." Polly didn't expect that and the thought made her shudder. Angus just pretended to gag.

Kim slapped his hand away as he tyring to unbutton her shirt. There had always been a lot of love and affection in this house. Adam grew up without it and often thought that his parents hated him as much as they hated each other. No way were Polly and Angus going to ever question whether he loved their mother or them. Even if they now thought it was pretty 'gross' and 'embarrassing'.

"I think my awesome parenting skills have got you a little excited?" Adam was kissing her neck.

"A little." Adam slipped his hand up the leg of her shorts and she laughed and grabbed his wrist. "Not that much though."

"Darlin', don't go breakin' my heart."


	3. Trust

Kim had untangled herself from Adam's grasp much to his disappointment and reached for the remote. "You've just broken my heart, don't you do it again." He snatched it from her hand playfully as he laughed. He knew precisely what she wanted to do. He was watching this game come hell or high water, and there was only one thing that was going to make him turn it off and it was highly unlikely that was going to happen with a teenager in the house.

"Can I go and see Abbey? I want to make sure she's okay." Polly appeared back downstairs looking a little anxious. Polly wasn't stupid, she directed her question to her mother instead of her father. Adam wasn't so keen but Kim looked at Adam who was unimpressed and decided to ignore him and agree that she could go.

"Just for a few hours. I need you home by four. Antonio, Sylvie and Lucas are coming for dinner." Polly tried not to roll her eyes. Lucas Dawson was the biggest pain in the arse, basically because he was besotted with her and would hang around her like a bad smell. He was a year younger than Angus, who was annoying enough on his own let alone when Lucas was around.

She waved and was out the door before Adam could protest or have some input so he turned on Kim instead. "You were quick to let her go?"

"Hmmm." Kim slipped one hand under his shirt and tugged lightly on the hairs on his lower abdomen. She knew precisely how to get him to forget all about Polly's disappearing act. "Well, perhaps I was feeling generous."

"So generous that you are about to let me fuck you?" He had one eye on the TV and one eye on his wife and an irresistible smirk on his face.

"Such a way with words." Kim muttered but her eyes were twinkling and he was up off the couch and dragging her upstairs within seconds. Polly was gone for a few hours and Angus wasn't due home until later. He was refereeing a game this afternoon to earn some cash so they had the house to themselves for a bit and he wasn't about to waste a second of that time. Their kids, god love them for many years had cramped his style.

Adam rolled onto his back, momentarily satisfied and he hooked one hand behind his head and held Kim close to his side with the other. "Darlin' you rock my world."

"I do don't I?"

"Tell you what, give me few minutes to catch my breath and I will let you loose on my again."

"Isn't once enough?" She tried to roll away from him but Adam was having none of it.

"Surely you jest." Kim squealed as he flipped her over and held her arms above her head and started leaving a trail of kisses down her body until she stopped fighting him and just gave in to the sweet sensation.

They eventually dragged themselves out of bed, picked up their clothes, which had been hastily discarded and got dressed again. Afternoon sex hadn't been on the agenda for such a long time but as the kids got older and more independent they had the pleasure of getting lost in each other for a while more and more often.

"Are you worried about what's going on with Abbey?" Adam asked her as they straightened the bed. It may have taken him quite a few years to learn but he knew one thing Kim did not stand for was an unmade or untidy bed.

"A little. What did Polly say?"

"That she was in a bad mood and that she was drinking and vomiting." It hadn't satisfied him at the time but he did know that Polly would often tell Kim more than she did him. What she didn't figure out was that they always compared notes and pieced together the whole story. She really did forget this was what they did for a living.

"Did she say why?"

"No. And that's what worries me. Apparently Polly promised she wouldn't say anything and I hate that. How many times have we heard that?"

Kim patted him on the cheek after he handed her the last cushion. Fuck he hated these things, they seemed to multiple constantly and he would moan that it always took an hour to get into bed because of the amount of 'fluffy crap' on the bed. "Babe, please don't get carried away just yet. It was one time."

"I am not so sure." He followed Kim downstairs and into the kitchen so she could start dinner. "Anyway, I trust Polly."

Kim smacked him on the ass as he disappeared out the kitchen. "Good to know." Adam left Kim to start dinner and headed outside to mow the lawns. He didn't always love the maintenance aspect of owning a house with a yard but now he often found it gave him a chance to switch off, pop on some music and think about nothing or avoid the drama inside. Polly and Angus had gone through a stage where they fought like two rats in a sack and it did Adam's head in. He would crack the shits and go on a rampage of making them pack away whatever it was they were fighting over and ban them from using it for a week. There'd be tears and yelling and slamming of doors, all in all, good times and it fostered his love for his lawn.

They did have faith in Polly though, until she broke that trust.

It was a little after six when she finally got home and from the moment the clock ticked well past four she knew she was in trouble, by five it didn't really matter anymore. Either way she wasn't getting out of it. Polly did not know what she feared most getting reamed out the moment she stepped foot inside the door or the stony silence that greeted her right now. By the look on her father's face she knew that he was not happy and that was probably underselling it. He was furious and the anticipation of facing his wrath almost made her vomit at the dinner table.

Antonio and Sylvie noticed the tension between them all; it was pretty hard to miss. While Kim and Sylvie were making a coffee in the kitchen after dinner Adam and Antonio stayed in the dining room while the boys disappeared into the lounge and Polly to her room. Polly couldn't get out of there quick enough.

"Adam's not impressed."

"With Polly, no. Not at all. She got home late last night with no explanation and now she's done it again. He's definitely pissed."

"He looked like he wanted to explode."

"Oh I think he will later." Kim chuckled although none of this was remotely funny. She was far from impressed with her daughter also. Adam was going to lose his shit, coupled with the fact that he'd had a couple of drinks, not that they were anywhere near drunk but it was going to get ugly for Polly and Kim wasn't in the mood to go into bat for her, she needed to explain why she had done this so soon after getting hauled over the coals about last night and it better be a damn good story.

"Polly's a good kid right?" Sylvie had to admit that she wasn't particularly looking forward to Lucas going through this stage but she was grateful that she didn't have a girl to worry about. To date, Lucas seemed to be a bit nerdy as well so she hoped that meant he never really got into the partying type scene.

"Yes, but something is going on and we are not quite sure what it is yet."

Antonio accepted his glass of scotch. "You know Ava and I were tight as and then one day I was battling this beast that just came from nowhere. It does get better though." Ava was a mother herself now and Antonio doted on his two grandsons, Leo and Max.

"Yeah, and how long did this bullshit stage last?"

A small smile tugged at Antonio's mouth. "Oh a good ten years."

"Fucking fantastic."

"Man, Ava hated me some days I swear."

"You are not really helping me here." Adam was frustrated. He hated feeling like this towards Polly, he hated the thought of not being able to trust her and something was nagging at him. It was so out of the blue and his greatest fear was that Polly would get dragged into whatever was going on with Abbey or worse still she was using Abbey for a cover for whatever she was up to.

It was easier to lay all the blame on Abbey because he couldn't stand it if Polly was the one struggling and running wild. He didn't want to think they had failed to notice the signals because what was going on, all this crap all of a sudden wasn't Polly. Blaming Abbey didn't sit well with him either because neither did he want to see her run off the rails but he had to worry about Polly first and foremost, she was his flesh and blood. If Abbey was suddenly drinking it was a short ride into drug taking and that freaked him out more than anything. In Narcotics he had seen far too many young kids lives ruined because of peer group pressure and he didn't want Polly around that.

From the moment she was placed in his arms as a newborn he worried that he wouldn't be able to protect her from all the shit in the world and it had been hard for him to loosen his grip. If there were even the slightest hint that Polly was going down a bad path he would tighten those reins so damn quick her head would spin.

"Going off half cocked doesn't help, trust me."

"Man, she was late home last night and I think I was pretty level headed. I told her it was her last chance and less than half a fucking day later she's pulling the same shit."

"If you want my opinion…" Antonio didn't really wait for Adam to say yay or nay. "..she knows she's in deep shit and it's not sitting well with her. I don't honestly think Polly is the problem." That was certainly the vibe Antonio got from Polly that evening. She looked terrified and not because she was scared of her father but because she knew she had let him down. Hell, he'd learnt that the hard way with Ava. The only positive you could take out of it was if kids were worried about letting their parents down it was far easier to deal with than those who just didn't give a toss.

"I think that worries me more. I'd like to think I can fix my own child, I don't know what I can do about someone else's kid and I fear that Polly's getting dragged further and further into it because she wants to help."

"Polly is smart."

"She is smart but she is also too easily sucked up in other people's dramas. She always wants to keep people happy and help people. She won't be able to say no. While I'd like Angus to have a little more of Kim's personality I wish Polly didn't have so much of it. She's so trusting and that worries me."

"Gotta let them figure some stuff out on their own."

"I think you need nerves of steel to be a parent to a teenager. Not sure I've got them."

"Polly." Adam bellowed up the stairs as soon as their guests had left. They had not seen hide nor hair of her since dinner. He sent Angus for a shower and asked him to give them some space to talk to his sister.

She was in tears before she even left her room. Adam pointed to the sofa where he wanted her to sit but unlike this morning when he sat on the table opposite her and bought himself down to her eye level he stayed standing and pacing back and forth. Kim was sitting in the easy chair with her arms folded and Polly knew that she was not getting any help from her mother right about now.

After leaving her sitting in silence for a few long painful moments Adam eventually spoke.

"I am going to give you one chance to explain."


	4. A Horror Story

**A/N: You asked for it...Let's see what Polly is up to.**

Polly didn't know what to do. She'd stopped on a dime and just stared before backing out of the bathroom. The look in Abbey's eyes in the mirror said it all and it was burnt into Polly's brain.

Polly ran, she didn't know what else to do and by the time she got back to the car the tears were streaming down her face. "What's wrong?" Isaac had asked her but Polly just shook her head. "Polly, what's wrong?"

"Umm.." she muttered. "No, it's okay." She pushed him away; she didn't want anyone to touch her.

They had come down the Navy Pier to hang out; it was cold out but sunny. Isaac, Chloe, Polly and Abbey. Isaac and Chloe had been dating for a couple of months and they would often just cruise and hang out together. Isaac's buddy Sam had joined them today, which had caused a little issue between Polly and Abbey. He was obviously interested in Polly, he'd made that quite obvious but she knew that Abbey had a crush on him so it was a little awkward to say the least. Abbey was definitely the more dominant of the two girls so Polly took a step back and said nothing.

Sam had been at the party last night and had spent a lot of time talking to Polly. He hadn't been subtle in his attempts to impress her and she'd had really enjoyed talking to him until Abbey started to interfere and then she started drinking and things ran off the rails. Polly didn't see Sam for the rest of the night because every time he came near her Abbey literally flung herself at him. It had been embarrassing to watch and people started teasing Sam about it so he left. He wondered if perhaps people were right? Polly Ruzek may not have been worth the effort if he had to deal with her psycho best friend too.

Sam couldn't help himself though and Isaac called him and begged him not to give up so he came along and turning up today hadn't helped, and it started to make him second guess what he was doing but he really wanted to see Polly again. And that's where things started to go pear shaped. Abbey was pissed that Sam was more into Polly than her and started flirting with a bunch of guys that they didn't know. If she thought it was going to make Sam jealous she was wrong and Polly could see him cringing at her behaviour and Polly spent more time trying to keep Abbey under control than she did talking to Sam, not that it mattered to Abbey, she was seriously out of control. When Polly tried to talk to her and get her to come back with them she basically told her to fuck off.

Looking at her watch Polly realised that she needed to get going soon. Isaac had promised her that she would be home by four and the last thing she wanted to do was get on her Dad's bad side again and neither did Isaac. Adam Ruzek was one person he had no interest in pissing off, even if he was only a friend of his daughter. The man could make his life hell. "Where's Abbey?" she stormed up to the group of guys that she had been talking to and they just shrugged. Polly crossed her arms and waited until one of them finally pointed in the direction of the restrooms. She had not paid any attention to how many guys were there at the time so didn't realise that one of them was also missing, all she cared about was Abbey and getting her back so they could leave.

That's when Polly's world crashed down. As she walked into the bathroom she saw her best friend bent over the bench with some guy she'd just met obviously screwing her from behind. While the sex was shocking enough, she had no idea Abbey was even having sex it was the dead look in her eyes that haunted her. What scared her also was that Abbey didn't look frightened or like it was against her will. While her eyes looked dead her face was twisted into a sad smile. "Get out." She told her and that's when Polly ran.

Sam reached out and grabbed her as she slid down the side of the car and he caught her before she hit the ground and they got her to sit in the car. "Jesus Polly. What's wrong?" Polly just stared up at him unsure of what to do or say. "I'm okay." she stuttered. "I just feel sick." He asked Chloe to grab her some water and didn't like how her hands were shaking as she tried to hold the bottle. They were still crowded around Polly when Abbey finally came racing over.

"Pol, Is she okay?"

"Okay?" Polly finally managed to speak as she struggled to get to her feet, pushing everyone's hands away angrily as they tried to help her up. "No I am not okay. That was not okay." She pointed back towards the bathroom and apart from Abbey no one knew what the hell she was talking about.

Abbey grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away from the rest of them. They tried to stop Abbey taking her away but Polly ignored them. "Polly, I'm sorry you saw that. Please don't say anything, to anyone. Promise me."

Polly reefed her arm away from her; she didn't want to be touched by her right now. "Why? Why did you do that? Was he raping you?"

"No, God Polly no. I wanted it. He's cute and hot." She shrugged like it was no big deal. This was a big deal for Polly, how could she not see that? And it should be a big deal for her too.

Polly pushed her away. "I don't understand any of this. That was horrible. That's not how it's supposed to happen."

"How is it supposed to happen?" Abbey snorted. "Not everyone gets the fucking fairy tale Polly. Your parents are not the norm, that fairy tale you've got at home is bullshit. It's bullshit. Shit happens and one day you'll be bent over a fucking bench too."

"Fuck you Abbey. You want to be like this, fine but don't drag me into your shit. If you want my help I will help you but if you are going to continue on with this crap I'm out. I am not getting reamed out by my Dad because of you." Polly was suddenly spitting fire. "You think I am going it sit around and wait for you to finish screwing around or hold your hair back while you spew your guts up every weekend you are wrong."

"Oh fucking grow up Polly. I know you think your Dad is some big fucking hero but he's a guy. He's got a dick too and all they want to do is to fuck someone. I am sure he bent some chick over when he was young. The way you have him up on this pedestal is embarrassing, he's just as bad as the rest of them. You think Sam is interested in anything but fucking you." Polly had never heard Abbey talk like this and it scared her. She could feel herself welling up with tears. "He wants to pop your cherry so bad it's pathetic to watch. Little miss innocent Polly Ruzek, won't do anything to upset Daddy." She mocked her.

"Like you let that guy pop yours, in a fucking filthy bathroom?"

"He didn't pop my cherry. Far from it. You should try it, might make you a little less stuck up. You think he's going to hang around and wait for you to open your legs you are wrong. If you're not fucking him within a week he'll be sniffing around someone else." She turned away from her dearest friend, having been a complete bitch to her and headed back to the group of guys she had been with. The guy she had sex with in the bathroom put his arm around her shoulder and Abbey barely gave Polly a backward glance as she walked away with them.

Isaac, Chloe and Sam had been watching them, they were just far enough away that they couldn't hear the conversation but it looked ugly. When Abbey left Polly they took off towards her. She was starting to sway a little and Isaac and Sam both caught her and led her to the closest bench. "What's up with Abbey? Are you Okay?" Their questions rushed up at her and Polly couldn't answer. She jumped a little when Sam sat beside her and asked her if he could get her anything. All she could hear was Abbey's harsh words smashing around in her head. _'He wants to pop your cherry.'_

 _"_ No, please leave me alone. We need to find Abbey, I can't leave her here." She leapt up suddenly terrified of the thought of him touching her.

"Polly, you're going to be late." She had told both Isaac and Chloe that she had been in trouble with her parents for coming home late last night and that she didn't want that to happen again but now that Abbey was in trouble, again Polly couldn't just walk away. She would just have to deal with her parents later and it wasn't going to be pretty but it wouldn't be as bad as walking away from her best friend not knowing that she was okay. She wasn't about to do that, even though the girl had just trashed her.

They searched Navy Pier for an hour before they found Abbey sitting alone on a bench in tears. The guys had basically dumped her when she wouldn't go home with them. It was a completely different Abbey who came with them now. She buried her head in Polly's lap and cried all the way home.

Apparently they wanted Abbey to come with them and the guy she screwed was keen to watch her with one of his buddy's. At that moment Abbey's bravado crumbled and that's when they found her.

Surprisingly Polly did not have a stream of messages on her phone from either of her parents. A little after she was due home she got one message from her mother that just said _'four o'clock'_ but that was enough to send shivers up her spine. She was so screwed.

Polly was late, she was in trouble but more than that she was horrified and confused and didn't know what to do. She knew there were shit people in the world, hell she'd grown up being well aware of it through what her parents dealt with and her parents had shielded her from the worst of it. That didn't mean you had to accept it though, for all the shit people there were far more good people too and she had been lucky in the fact that there were good people in her life. The best people and that started with her parents.

The way Abbey had talked about her Dad had upset her. Her Dad was a super hero as far as she was concerned. Sure, sometimes she didn't like him and thought he was being harsh or over the top but she never felt unloved by him and he adored her Mom. Her parents would argue occasionally and her Mom would complain that he could be a pain in the ass but every night he called her if he was a work, every morning he told her he loved her and he had taught both her and Angus how women deserved to be treated. What Polly saw today was not how she imagined things to be. If this was a fairy tale life she lived she was happy with that.

Polly had be wise enough to turn her phone to silent when she did get home and throughout dinner but as soon as she got to her room she checked her messages. There was a missed call from Sam, asking her if she was alright, one from Chloe and also one from Isaac. She heard nothing from Abbey. Rather than call any of them back, because she didn't feel like she could talk to them right now she messaged them, including Abbey

Her hands shook a little as she typed out a message to Sam. She was confused, she liked him and knew that he liked her but Abbey's rant about all he wanted to do was have sex with her had been a little confronting. Polly had not been close enough to any boy to even contemplate having sex, she was a little scared when it came to that but Sam felt different. She liked how he was starting to make her feel. Her message thanked him for checking in and told him that she was still waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

As well as being beside herself with worry about Abbey, Polly was freaking out about being late home. After a little while she had started talking to Sam again as they searched for Abbey, Isaac and Chloe had gone one way and Sam stuck with Polly. He tried to talk to her about what happened and eventually she opened up and spewed the whole thing out all over him. He'd been a little taken aback and had no idea what to say. He reached out and grabbed her hand and promised that they would find Abbey and make sure she was safe before they left. The rest he just left alone.

He'd messaged her back almost instantly. _'I hope it's not too bad. Maybe when the dust settles we can catch up?'_

Polly had sat with her phone in her hands for the longest moment. Everything was crashing around in her head and she felt sick. Was Abbey right about him? Is that all boys wanted? What did she want? Did she like him like that? Of, course she did but then so did Abbey, although what she wanted right now was debatable and Sam made it quite obvious that he wasn't interested in Abbey, especially after today. _'Sure, sounds good. I'll let you know how long I am chained in the basement for.'_

Now she sat in front of them and her Dad was fuming and she had no idea how she could even explain this without it sounding completely horrific.

She couldn't because that is exactly what it was. A horror story.

"I am going to give you one chance to explain." Her Dad finally spoke.

And she buried her head in her hands and sobbed her heart out.


	5. Far From Over

Polly head was still in her hands when she muttered. "It was horrible."

"What was horrible?" Kim may have been moved by her daughter's distress, Adam could see her welling up too but he was yet to be swayed.

Polly tried to hold it in or at the very least figure out how to say what she needed to say but nothing came out and Kim could see the anguished look on her face. Adam was quickly losing what little patience he had. "I'm waiting." Kim shot him a withering look but he was having none of it. If she wanted to dig herself out of this massive hole she was in she had to give him something more than _'it was horrible.'_

Suddenly Polly exploded and a torrent of words came spilling out. "Abbey and I had a fight. She hates me because Sam likes me and not her so she went and flirted with some other guys, they were just there, I don't know who they were. It was the same at the party last night; she doesn't like Sam talking to me and then gets all weird and nasty. He left last night because of Abbey but he came back today and she started again. She stormed off and I went looking for her when we had to leave because Isaac knew I had to be home by four and I knew you'd be angry. And I was, I was going to be home but then I found Abbey and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave until I found Abbey." Very little of what she said made any sense to them and they were both struggling to keep up with her ramblings. They knew Abbey obviously and Isaac but had no idea who Sam was, but that was hardly the point at the moment.

Of all the years Adam had been with Kim when she started ranting and rambling he just had to let her go and eventually the point of it all would become clear. Polly had obviously inherited her mother's ability to say something with a thousand words instead of the fifty it probably required. Adam would often smirk at Kim while she was doing it, which never helped the situation because nine times out of ten she was ranting at him about something he had done that had annoyed her so his smug look usually made it worse but tonight neither of them were enjoying this or where it was going. Not that they knew exactly what to expect other than they knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Where was Abbey?" Kim had leapt up from her chair mid way through and was now sitting beside Polly. Her distress had gotten too much for her to leave her daughter sitting all alone on the sofa but nothing she had said had swayed Adam yet. Although he was assuming this Sam was a boy and wanted to know if he needed to hate him yet. He was smart enough to realise that now was probably not the time to ask. While Polly was quiet for now he knew she was just drawing breath for the second wave and he braced himself for the inevitable.

"She was in a restroom." She gasped for air and Kim felt her heart sink. "Oh god."

Kim looked up at Adam who was looking a little stunned and at least he'd stopped pacing and was staring at them. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the rest. "Polly, what was Abbey doing?" He asked with more than a little trepidation.

"This guy, she only just met him. I don't know who he was; there was a group of them. We didn't talk to them but Abbey did, I had never seen them before. Sam wasn't with them; he doesn't know them either. Honestly I don't even know their names, I didn't talk to them until I asked them where Abbey was, I swear I didn't talk to them."

"Okay Polly." Adam interrupted her when she just seemed to want them to know she wasn't involved with them, and Sam, that damn name again. It kept coming up. "We believe you." He wanted to move on and get to the bottom of what was going on despite knowing he wasn't going to like it. "What was Abbey doing with them?"

"They were having sex." Polly shrieked. "I walked in and saw it. I saw them and I didn't know what to do so I ran."

"Oh sweetheart." Kim was coping with this far better than Adam appeared to be. Every single emotion you could think of flash across his face, except amusement but nothing about any of this was even remotely amusing.

"What?" he sounded hysterical as he gasped. Polly's head snapped up suddenly.

"I didn't know what to do Dad. When she came out she pretended like it was nothing and then she told me that all guys are the same, they all want sex." Her sobbing was starting to subside a little. "She called me Little Miss Innocent and that my life was a fairy tale and fairy tales don't come true."

"Was it consensual?" Adam had somehow managed to flip the switch and clip on his badge and suddenly become a cop in the blink of an eye while Kim remained with both feet firmly in the mother camp.

"What?" Polly looked at her Dad and he realised that she was confused. They had certainly talked to her about consensual sex before but because she was currently so traumatised he realised he had to keep it simple.

"Did Abbey agree to have sex with this boy?"

"She said she did. It was horrible, the look in her eyes, they looked dead but she was smiling and she just told me to get out and I ran. I couldn't leave until I found Abbey. I didn't know what else to do."

"Where did she go?"

"When she came back out and we fought again and I told her that I hated what she was doing and I wasn't going to stand around and watch it and she walked off with those boys, I don't know who they were and we found her a while later." Polly was staring at her Dad; her eyes were wide with fear. "They wanted to take her home and he wanted watch her have sex with his friends. She cried all the way home. I couldn't leave her Dad, I'm sorry."

Polly fell against her mother and she wrapped her tightly in her arms while she watched Adam try and process all this. This was not what they expected. "Okay. Okay." He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to get this straight in his head. He was always prone to going off the deep end when it came to talking to the kids about sex and that was just when he was talking to Kim about it and how they were going to handle it, this had smacked him hard in the face and she had no idea what was about to come out of his mouth next.

Adam didn't say anything and eventually Polly asked her mother. "I don't understand. What's wrong with Abbey? Why would she do this? It's not right."

"I don't know Baby." Kim was rubbing her back softly. "How long has this been going on?"

"A few weeks maybe, like it's only recently been this bad but maybe a few months ago she started acting a little weird sometimes. At parties she was starting to drink a little more, on Saturday night it was really bad. I think it was when Sam came that she started freaking out and I know she didn't like Sam talking to me.." suddenly Polly slapped her legs in frustration. "…and she was trying to get his attention and he didn't like it and she went all nuts. He left because of Abbey."

Adam was still pacing back and forth. You'd think years of being a cop would make difficult conversations easier to deal with but nothing prepared you for having them with your own child. This was his baby girl, how had they suddenly got here? "Polly, this is not okay."

"I know Dad but Abbey asked me to promise not tell anyone. I didn't know she was having sex. We talked about it not long ago and she said she had never done it and then today she was talking about Sam wanting to pop my cherry and that this wasn't her first time." Polly had probably said too much but she couldn't stop herself. Not knowing when to stop talking was probably something she learnt from Adam. There were times that he was aware that Kim wished he had kept half the words in his head rather than sharing them with the world.

"Hold up." Adam held up his hand, he knew it wasn't the point and there were far more pressing matters at hand than the startling news that some boy was sniffing around his daughter but he was blindsided by the current path this conversation had taken and his name just kept coming up. "Who the hell is Sam and why are we talking about popping your cherry? Which by the way, I never want to hear again after this night."

"It's what Abbey said. I never said that. Neither did Sam."

"Okay, Do you want to tell me who the hell is Sam?"

"Isaac's friend."

"Umm, Adam. Let's focus shall we?" Kim could sense this was going off the rails, although it would probably be fair to say that it had been a while since this train had jumped the tracks. Both Adam and Polly were going off on a tangent, not a particularly unusual event but right now it wasn't helpful and Polly wasn't helping the situation.

"Dad, I promise. I haven't even kissed Sam."

"Oh God. Polly." He rubbed his hands roughly over his face.

"Dad, Sam's not like that."

"Like what, those other boys?" He waved one arm around wildly.

"Okay both of you. Just stop." Kim was still rubbing her back gently. "We understand why you were late and I am proud of you for looking out for Abbey even though she wasn't particularly nice to you. I am sorry you had to see all that but honey, we can't let Abbey keep behaving like this. Something is going on with her. Do you know what it is?"

"No, I don't I swear. I don't know, Abbey didn't tell me anything. I didn't know she was having sex. Please don't say anything to Abbey or her Mom." She was starting to struggle to breathe and Kim did her best to calm her down.

"Polly I can't do that." Thankfully Adam was letting Kim do the talking, he'd gone back to pacing and was clearly trying to straighten things out in his head, or think of ways to kill off this Sam character before he became a problem. Kim wasn't really sure which way his mind was going and quite frankly didn't care; she would deal with Adam later. Polly was her priority right now. "Firstly I don't like seeing you hurt and upset, and secondly I don't like what is going on with Abbey either."

"I am not sure I want you seeing her right now." Now Adam chose to speak. This was one of those times Kim wished he'd kept his mouth shut. "This is not the type of person I want you hanging around with. This is not okay Polly."

"Dad, please. She needs me. I know she does. I can help her."

"Polly. We'll help her, I promise." Kim reassured her.

Adam swung around as he heard Angus come downstairs. "Gus, Bud what's up?"

"Is Polly okay?" Both of them did love how much Polly and Angus cared about each other, neither of them liked seeing their sibling upset or in trouble even if sometimes it seemed like they could barely stand each other.

"She is, Polly's not in trouble but I think you should stay upstairs for tonight. I'll be up in a minute."

"Okay." he nodded. "Are we going for a run in the morning?" He asked his Dad. Adam and Angus tried to get out a few mornings a week for a run. It was something that Adam had started doing a last season when Angus started taking his Baseball more seriously and they both enjoyed their time together. Adam had coached Gus's team when he was younger but now he was moving up the grades he didn't get involved as much. It was hard with work sometimes to commit to regular trainings but he really tried hard to stay involved any way he could and this was one way he could do that. It was good for both of them.

"Sure. Six?" Angus kissed both his parents goodnight and headed back upstairs. He knew when it was best he stay out of it.

"Okay." Adam had calmed down enough to come and sit by Polly. "Here's what we are going to do. Your Mom is going to talk to Abbey." He shot a brief look at Kim who nodded. She was surprised that Adam was thinking along those lines. She was expecting him to jump in the car right now and be banging down Abbey's door in the middle of the night. "Is Abbey coming to dinner on Tuesday? If she is we will try and talk to her and find out what's going on and see how we can help her."

Abbey was a regular at family dinners on Tuesday nights. Adam wasn't always there but Kim made sure that she was and when things were going to crap at home with her parent's divorce it gave Abbey some stability. She really was a lovely girl and she had been friends with Polly for so long they just never imagined things going bad between them. Even through those early teenage hormone years nothing got too out of control. They really thought they were through the worst of it.

"Thanks Dad."

"Don't thank me just yet. I am still not happy with you Polly and there has to be consequences." Kim knew this was coming. Adam was still seriously annoyed that she didn't at least call and so soon after being told that it was unacceptable the previous night not to let them know she was okay. Polly knew better than to argue with her Dad. "You'll be home after school every night this week helping out with dinner and housework. I understand why you were late but Polly you have a phone for a reason. I think we deserved to at least know you were safe."

She knew she had to keep her mouth shut and just accept it but it didn't stop her though. "But if I called you would have come and made a scene." Not only would it have made things worse with Abbey, it would have embarrassed her in front of Sam and if this day was horrifying enough.

"I would have come and made sure you and your friends were safe." He pushed himself up of the sofa indicating that they were done.

While Kim eventually took Polly up to bed once she had calmed down, Adam went and talked to Angus. He let him know that Polly was fine and that he shouldn't worry. They were going to sort every thing out. He didn't say much and as long as Polly was okay he wasn't too worried about anything else.

Kim sat on her daughter's bed while she had a shower and then tucked her quilt around her shoulders and lay down with her. Polly didn't feel like talking so Kim just held her, told her how proud they were of her and how much they loved her until she fell asleep. She crept quietly out of her room and went to find her husband.

Their night was far from over.


	6. To the Moon

It was now Adam who was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. What a nightmare. Of all the things he imagined Polly was doing when she was late this was not one of them. "Hey." He lifted his head as he felt Kim's hand on his shoulder. "Polly asleep?"

"She is." Kim curled into his side as he instinctively eased his way back into the corner of the sofa and lifted his arm so that Kim could sneak under it. Where she had always belonged and they were quiet for a while, contemplating the sharp turn this night had taken.

"That was unexpected." Adam finally broke the silence. Tonight had not gone anywhere near where they thought it was heading.

"It was. I feel horrible for Polly" Kim's voice hitched in her throat a little. "..and for Abbey."

"What's going on? Why didn't we notice anything?" That's what he couldn't understand. How had things got so far out of control and why hadn't they noticed? They liked to think they kept up with their kid's lives pretty well. It wasn't always easy and Adam particularly missed a lot but Kim always kept him updated if he'd been busy at work. He drifted through his teenage years with his parents only seeming to care when he was in trouble and he didn't want to be like that with his kids. He wanted to know what was going on with them. They weren't strict or controlling by any stretch of the imagination but that didn't mean they didn't care.

"Adam, I am not sure we missed anything. Abbey, she's seemed fine every time she was here. Until she was late home on Saturday nothing has been any different and Polly hasn't mentioned anything."

"Did she say anything else?"

"Nothing. She doesn't want to talk right now. I really don't think she understands what's going on." Kim had tried to ask her some more questions but Polly had just shut down and in the end Kim was happy that she fell asleep surprisingly quickly because that was probably going to be the best thing for her right now. When she was tired it was hard to be rational and Kim could tell by her ranting and jerky movements that Polly was just as tired as she was stressed and that would lead to her saying or doing something rash.

"I know. I am trying so hard not to freak out right now."

"Me too." Kim cried in his arms, not for the first time and definitely not for the last. He adored how beautiful a mother she was, how much she loved her children. From the moment Polly was born Kim had embraced being a mother, she saw herself as a mother above all else. They had rough patches along the way but they never gave up because of their children and because they loved each other even thought sometimes they may not have particularly liked each other.

When Kim had suffered the miscarriage they had really struggled for a while but eventually come out of that stronger than ever. They never even thought about having another child and Adam had reluctantly agreed to a vasectomy once the dust settled. Things got tough a few years later when Adam went undercover for almost three months and when he came back it was like living with a stranger for a while. It took them a good six months to right the ship. Not once had they contemplated not staying together though.

They would disagree over the discipline of their children, particularly when the kids were younger. Kim was always the softest and relented first, which annoyed Adam at times. He thought that he gave them enough leeway and he hated it when Kim would swoop in after he had doled out their punishments and coddle them when they cried, she couldn't bear to hear them cry. Now that they were older, his punishments usually consisted of no TV, no friends over after school or a ban on computers and phones. He was hardly a tyrant but they would still look to Kim to help them. For now though they were pretty much on the same page and Polly and Angus were starting to work out that they couldn't play one off the other any more.

While they were younger that was easier to navigate but now the pressure was on them and they needed to stick together and make sure they knew what they were doing. Right now, with all this Polly chaos they needed to talk to each other and stay the course. This would test them because Kim could see Polly hurting and wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and Adam was swinging between the two. He was desperate to protect her but also letting her know that her decisions and behaviour had consequences and teaching her how to make smart choices. He was also concerned that she was going to be led down a dark path out of loyalty to her best friend. It was their job to make sure that didn't happen, they just didn't know how to do it.

"I know this is not the issue right now, but that is the first time Polly talked about a boy. How many times did this Sam's name come up?"

"It freaked you out didn't it?" From the moment that Polly had bought up Sam's name she knew Adam would want to talk about it.

"Yes it did." He wasn't afraid to admit that, although it had always surprised him that she didn't have more boys sniffing around. He was adamant that she was beautiful, inside and out and thought he'd be beating them off with a stick by now but she just seemed to have little interest in boys.

"I am desperately holding onto the fact that he likes Polly because of who she is and not just to pop her cherry. Surely if he wanted that it seems Abbey would be far more likely." Kim cringed a little at how bad that sounded. If there was going to be the tiniest silver lining in this whole debacle perhaps that was it and they were both willing to cling to anything right now.

"I really never want to think about cherries again." Adam rolled his head to the side and found the will to chuckle a little. "Although I guess the fact that Polly was talking like her cherry is still intact was a good thing."

"Hmmm, you're right about one thing." Kim sat up and turned to face her husband. "We don't talk about Cherries in this house anymore."

Adam pulled her into his chest a little tighter and kissed her forehead, letting it linger for a moment "It's going to happen Babe." Kim added.

"Oh I know."

"You were sixteen."

"Ha." He laughed a little painfully, the memory of that wasn't the greatest. "And it wasn't good. I do believe you waited until you were eighteen my little darlin', but then you had to wait until you were like 26 before it got really good. Maybe you can tell Polly that. That if she waits until she's nearly 30 she might meet someone who is just so god damn good she'll be glad that she didn't go through the shit screws in the back of a car."

"We've screwed in the car?"

"Wasn't shit though?" And that was the truth; they'd certainly had far more good times than bad. Everyone, when you'd been together as long as they had could recall times when neither of them covered themselves with glory and you were almost doing it just to tick that box, particularly when the kids were younger and they literally fell into bed each night. Fortunately they were few and far between and lately they had certainly found a new level of intimacy that surprised both of them at times.

"So Abbey?"

Adam blew out a long slow breath. "Abbey. I'd really like to know what's going on with her. Something's not sitting right with me, it's nagging me. You don't go this off the rails so quickly without a reason."

"I know. I mean it's been rough at home for her for a few years but Janice seems to have settled down, right?" They were trying to work through this in their heads, being a cop wasn't always a good thing because they were both trying not to go worse case scenarios. Kim had been over there even as recent as last week and Abbey's Mom, Janice seemed really happy. They'd had a glass of wine and a good laugh and hadn't mentioned anything about Abbey behaving unusual or being any more difficult.

Kim reminded Adam not to stay up too late, a bad habit of his when he was stressed. He would sit and stew over things and then crawl into bed in the wee hours and cuddle up to his wife. Kim also knew that other reason that he was waiting up, he was waiting for Polly.

Whenever Polly was upset or woke from a bad dream she would creep downstairs and curl up on her father's lap. Even before she could get herself up they had started this. Adam would bring her out if she weren't sleeping so as not to wake Kim and he would cuddle her on the sofa until she fell asleep. It didn't matter how big she got, if things were worrying Polly and she knew her Dad was still up she would come find him, sometimes they talked sometimes they didn't.

"I'm sorry Dad." She appeared in the doorway and Adam held out his arms for his daughter to fall in to.

"Oh Pol, I know you are." He was glad it was dark so that she couldn't see the tears in his own eyes, not that he was embarrassed to let his kids see him cry but he was worried that right now Polly wouldn't think he wasn't strong enough to help her.

"Abbey was horrible today. I didn't like it."

"You know that's not the usual Abbey, she's been your best friend for a long time so don't let this one little bump ruin that, but she does need some help and we are going to do that."

"I know." Polly sat up, crossing her legs and faced her Dad. "She said that all boys are the same, you all just want sex and even you are like that. She told me that you are not a super hero and that its pathetic that I think you are."

"I am no Super Hero Sweet Pea but I like that you think I am. I want to be your Super Hero because that means I've done a good job being your Dad."

"You have." They both smiled a little.

"About the sex thing. Polly, I do love sex. I love having sex with your Mom but I still respect your Mom. If she doesn't want to we don't, end of story."

"Even after all this time."

"To this very day." He assured her. He had hoped Polly would come down to him but he wasn't quite sure this was the conversation he was expecting to have. "I know Mom has talked to you about sex and waiting until it's right for you. Whenever that is. It's got to be what you want. I want you to be about 30 but that's probably not going to happen."

"I don't want to do that yet especially after today. It looked horrible."

"It probably was, I think if you asked Abbey and she was honest she would say that it was horrible too. That's not how it is supposed to be. It's beautiful, it's not always great, sometimes it's awkward but one day you'll find someone special and it will be worth it."

"You look at Mom like she's the best thing in the world."

He answered without hesitation. "Because she is."

"Did you ever do that to anyone? Like how it was today."

This was so not what Adam wanted to talk about. Sure, he hadn't always covered himself with glory when he was younger but hooking up with someone he'd just met in a public restroom he was happy to say he'd never done that. "No, Polly. I was no angel when I was younger I am not going to lie but never did I treat someone with so little respect and I would never have wanted to 'share' my girlfriend or watch her with someone else. That's disgusting behaviour. That's not how you treat people, that's not how you treat women and I would probably kill anyone who treated you like that."

"Sam wants to take me on a date."

Adam was trying not to seem a little unnerved that they had gone from talking about sex to Polly going out on a date. It was all a little too close for comfort. "Well why wouldn't he?"

"I do like him. He's nice and he called to make sure I was okay when I got home. I thought that was sweet. Can I go?"

"Only if I meet him first." Adam laughed when Polly rolled her eyes. She knew that was coming. "Tell me about him."

"Why, so you can run a background check?" Polly had been listening, her father always threatened to run checks on any boy that came within five miles of her and he wasn't alone. Kevin and Jay were right behind him. "He's been Isaac's friend for years. They went to Grade School together but he now goes to St Patrick's. He's smart and funny. His name is Sam Hollister."

"And good looking? Polly I don't want ugly grandchildren."

"Dad." Polly leant forward and slapped him playfully on the chest with both hands and chuckled. Adam liked that he had made her laugh. She was beautiful when she laughed and he'd seen too many of her tears lately.

She did think he was good looking though. He had dark hair and eyes and the sweetest crooked smile that made his eyes twinkle. Polly was a little besotted by him. He was taller than her and had a way of making her feel giddy when he would lean in and whisper something to her. He made her smile and even talking to her dad now she was smiling at the thought of him. Adam could see that and it was sweet and a little sad at the same time. There was a time when only he made her smile like that.

"There was a lot of talk about Sam tonight and sex." Adam needed to get this out otherwise he would chew over it for days.

"Dad, I told Sam what Abbey said, when we went looking for her. He came with me and he held my hand and he was really sweet." Polly had no idea why she told him that, but it was out there now. "I kinda just blurted it all out and he told me not to worry. He said that right now holding my hand was enough. I don't think he's like that." She twisted her hands nervously in her lap. "He still called and wants to take me out on a date even though I told him that I was not interested in having sex. I think he likes me." She looked so happy.

"Okay." Adam still wasn't overly satisfied but her sweet innocent face swayed him. "Let's see how it goes then, but we will need to meet him. None of this honking the horn in the driveway." That was was Polly's first date, the kid didn't even have the courtesy of getting out of the car and Adam put the kibosh on it instantly. Polly didn't really mind, she had come home and said the date was awful and all he talked about was his car which Adam had just grinned at, Polly was so uninterested in cars it wasn't funny. Like her mother she would roll her eyes the moment Adam started talking about them.

"I think you'll like him."

"He's taking you out on a date, Polly I am going to hate him." He nudged her playfully. "Now, let's go to bed." Polly waited while he turned off the lights and walked her upstairs.

"I love you Dad." She hugged him at the door to her bedroom.

"To the moon and back Sweet Pea. To the moon."


	7. Show Me Some Love

Adam had complained when his alarm went off at 545am for his run with Angus. He felt like he'd barely been asleep because Kim had tossed and turned beside him all night. She grouchily demanded that he turn the damn alarm off and pushed him out of bed. They had spoken briefly when he eventually came in last night. "Did Polly come down?"

"Of course."

"And?"

"My Baby is growing up way too quickly." He cuddled into Kim's back. "And she wants to go out on a date."

"Sam?"

"Yep. Not until I meet him though and I told her if he was ugly she couldn't date him because I don't want ugly grandchildren." Kim could feel him smiling against the back of her neck.

Kim sighed because she could imagine him saying precisely that. "I'd like to think you are lying just to get a rise out of me but sadly I know you are not."

"You could get a rise out of me if you tried." He teased her and dug his fingers into her hip. Kim swatted his hand away and growled at him to go to sleep. He'd known it was fruitless and he wasn't surprised, it was a half-hearted attempt at best. He always threw it out there and had been shot down in flames more times that he thought was humanly possible and despite that their sex life was still pretty consistent.

Angus was already downstairs waiting for him when he finally hauled himself out of bed. It was a good ten minutes into their run before he asked about his sister. "Is Polly really okay?"

"She is Bud." Adam patted him on the shoulder lightly. "We are helping your sister just deal with some things that are going on with her friends. Try not to worry. Polly's not in any trouble."

"Is it Abbey?"

"Do you know something? Has Polly said anything to you?" Angus insisted that he didn't know anything but he figured that if Polly wasn't in trouble then it had to be Abbey. His sister and Abbey were joined at the hip. Adam wanted to talk about anything but what was going on at home, he didn't want Angus to worry about it and he could be a bit of a stress head as far as his sister was concerned. Anything else he didn't really care about and basically cruised through his days. All he cared about was his Dad, especially when he was at work and he knew he was on a tough case, his Mom and his sister, they seemed to be the only things that would get his head out of the clouds. They tried not to tell the kids too much about some of Adam's cases, particularly if it was a dangerous one but they figured they knew anyway. Adam would always check in with them when he was working just so they knew he was okay.

It was also why Adam didn't really go on any long-term undercover cases at the moment. When the kids were younger they certainly missed their Dad but they didn't have any real understanding about how dangerous some of those cases were they just knew he wasn't around. Now they understood too much so for the time being he basically only took on the short-term jobs that would only keep him out one or two nights. They may last a few weeks but it wasn't every night and not like the ones were you were gone for weeks or months on end. Kim and the kids couldn't cope with them. An UC case was not worth losing his marriage or kids over.

Kim dropped her bag on the side table when she got home from work. The house was quiet but she could smell something cooking and found Polly in the kitchen with her headphones on dancing a little to the music and that pleased Kim, they had been worried at how miserable and anxious Polly had seemed that morning. "Hey Polly. Smells good." She tapped her on the shoulder and waited until she pulled her headphones off.

"Hey Mom."

"Good day?" She rubbed her back lightly. "You seem happier?"

"Yeah, it was okay. Gus is upstairs apparently doing homework. Will Dad be home for dinner?"

"Probably not, he was just heading out when I left." Kim took over from Polly with dinner and she was surprised that Polly didn't leave straight away. Usually she was out of the kitchen like a shot, cooking was not one of her loves.

"I talked to Abbey today."

"And?" Kim turned away from the stove and pulled up a chair at the small table they had in their kitchen where they usually ate breakfast. Polly sat down with her, she was suddenly looking a little anxious but was keen to talk to her Mom so Polly got Kim's undivided attention.

"It was like nothing happened. She asked if I got in trouble for being late and when I asked her if she was okay she just shrugged and said she was fine."

"You don't think she is fine?"

"No, how can she be okay with that? I don't understand." Polly still couldn't comprehend what happened despite bearing witness to the whole thing and she was at a loss to understand how anyone could be okay with that. She knew she was a bit sheltered but not that much, she still knew what went on at parties and the like and surely it wasn't that, she was well aware that a lot of her friends were having sex but nobody seemed to say that it was that awful. If that was what she was missing out on then so be it.

Kim reached across the table and held her daughter's hand. "We will help Abbey I promise. Is she coming tomorrow for dinner?"

"I guess so." Polly pulled her hand away from her mother and twisted them in her lap and looked at them rather than at Kim. "Sam called me today to see if I wanted to go out on a date on Saturday."

"Oh." They figured this was coming. She just looked too happy when she talked about him for it to be nothing and his name just kept coming up. Even this morning she'd mentioned something about Sam during breakfast and Adam had looked at Kim and she just shrugged. This boy wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Dad said it was okay." Polly rushed out quickly, worried that her Mom was going to say no. Perhaps she had said too much to her Dad last night? She certainly didn't expect to talk to him about sex and then when she bought up Sam it was hard to miss the look on his face.

Sam had called her after school and Polly's heart skipped a beat when she saw his number come up. "Hi, how are you today? You are not chained in the basement are you? Do I have to come break you out?" He rushed out before she could even get a word in.

"Not quite. I am chained to the house though but I am good."

"I can come and tell them it wasn't your fault."

"Oh God no, they are okay really. It's just I should have let them know I was going to be late and that I was okay, that's all they wanted to know. I guess they freak out a little but it's understandable, they deal with some crappy people everyday."

"You didn't do anything wrong, you know that right? Staying until we found Abbey was the right thing to do."

"I know. My parents were pretty good." Polly actually found him really easy to talk to. Even though she refused to give him her number the first time they met she had always enjoyed it when he did make the effort and that he didn't give up. Until Abbey started losing the plot yesterday they were getting on pretty well and she had really did want to spend time with him. When he turned up yesterday you couldn't wipe the smile off her face, though Abbey certainly managed to slap it off pretty quickly. "I think I shocked them a bit when I told them what went on."

"You told them?" He sounded surprised. "How did that conversation go?"

"Not great. I basically verbally vomited all over them. Mom was pretty calm but Dad was freaking out, especially….." she paused for a bit and chuckled nervously "….I think I might have mentioned you a few too many times."

"So he hates me already?"

"Pretty much." She laughed and Sam liked it. "He's okay really."

"So okay that they will let you out on Saturday?"

"Probably. What for?" Polly was floating on cloud nine just a little bit so she didn't really get what he was hinting at. If Sam wanted to know if she was keen on him or not he just had to listen to her because her nervousness was cute and a dead give away.

"I want to see you. Just you and me."

"A date?" Polly did briefly wonder if he could hear how excited she sounded.

Sam laughed. "I guess you could call it that." He did notice it and he liked it. Again, after yesterday he wondered what he was doing. Isaac had told him not to give up when he had talked to him once he knew everyone was home safely and he'd heard from Polly.

"Man, Polly is awesome. She's a shit ton of fun, Abbey is usually not so off the reservation."

"Some of the things Polly told me Abbey said to her was pretty shit."

"And I bet Polly still was worried about her and tried to point out her good points didn't she?" Isaac loved Polly, they had been friends for a few years now and when they initially met he was keen on her but Polly wasn't interested and eventually he realised that Chloe was more his type. Polly was probably a little too reserved for him and they decided that she was better suited to Sam, who was more laid back than him and not a dickhead like plenty of his other friends.

"She did." He agreed. "What about her folks?"

"They are pretty cool, her Dad is all bark no bite." Not entirely true but he wasn't as bad as people made out.

"Look Sam, it's up to you but Polly is great. I think if you made the effort you'd be surprised." It wasn't much of a choice for him in the end he was definitely intrigued. He'd called her and now they were going out on a date and he was looking forward to spending some time alone with her.

Polly was honestly surprised he called at all after that horror show yesterday and despite him calling to make sure she was okay Polly honestly believed that once he'd had time to think about it she wouldn't hear from him again. "I thought you'd run a mile."

"Do you want me too?"

"No, no I don't." Polly did not hesitate. If she sounded a little too keen she did not care. He didn't hang up right away and they talked for a while longer although they skirted around the Abbey issue. He was starting to realise just how sweet and funny she was.

Polly was still giddy when she talked to her mother.

Of course Adam had told her. "He did, but not until we meet him." Kim did like the little look of excitement on her daughter's face. It made Kim a little thrilled as well, she wanted to see her kids happy and she wanted to watch Polly fall in love for the first time because she remembered how that made her feel. "What about Abbey? I thought she liked him?"

"I thought she did but now I am not sure, I think it was more she didn't like him paying attention to me."

Polly had decided that she needed to ask her friend what she thought about her potentially going out on a date with Sam. "Really?" Abbey looked surprised that Polly even asked. "I always got the impression that he was way more into you anyway." She shrugged like yesterday's conversation never happened.

"You don't mind? I mean if you really like him I won't do it." Polly always took to heart what other people thought; she had the tendency to make sure everyone else was happy before she was. It wasn't a bad trait to have but they tried to drum into Polly that sometimes she had to do what was right for her also.

"He's cute, and so are you. You should totally go out with him. I have no interest in Sam at all." Abbey just seemed to flip it off. It left Polly feeling a little confused because that was not the impression she got from Abbey at all. "He's never going to like someone like me. Your Dad is going to freak him out though isn't it?"

"Probably."

Adam never made it home until almost four in the morning; he crawled into bed, slept for a few hours and headed back to work. He leant across the counter and talked to Kim briefly when he arrived at the District. "How are the kids?"

"Good. They missed you."

"Yeah? Doubt that. Gus did at least reply to my message, Polly all I got was a smiley face."

"Well that's not unusual is it?" Kim chuckled. While they made the effort to keep in touch with their kids you never quite knew what you were going to get in response. Sometimes you couldn't shut Polly up and other times she made it feel like you were just annoying her on purpose. It didn't stop Adam though and Kim could always tell when Adam was doing just that, annoying her. He would send her message after message until she finally snapped and told him to stop. _'Well Pol, show me some love and I'll stop.'_

 _'I love you Dad.'_ He was always happy with that.

Abbey and Polly were holed up in her bedroom when Kim got home from work. Adam wasn't going to be around again and that may not have been a bad thing. He was likely to say something stupid and Kim had a sneaky suspicion that Abbey wouldn't be quite so forthcoming with him around. Kim missed him though, at times like this she liked to have him to lean on and run things by.

"You know Polly's been in trouble lately because she's been late home without giving us any reasons why." Polly had left her bedroom when Kim came in and Abbey knew what was coming but she really liked Polly's parents and they always seemed happy to have her around. She did think about not coming tonight because she was likely to catch some heat but there was a little bit deep inside that thought maybe she could get some help, if only she had the courage to reach out to someone.

"I am sorry Mrs R." Abbey avoided her eyes. "I never wanted Polly to get into trouble. It's not her fault and she was just trying to help."

"She is worried about you. We all are."

"I'm okay, really."

"I don't believe that Abbey."

The young girl stared at her for the longest moment and then burst into tears. Kim gathered her up into her arms and let her cry her heart out. "Abbey, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Honestly. I just don't want to go home."

"Why not? Is something going on at home?"

"Mom is just more interested in Simon, she doesn't care what I do." Abbey pushed herself away from Kim and wiped her eyes. "If she doesn't care why should I?"

"Because you are a beautiful girl." And she was. Abbey was shorter than Polly and had blond hair, almost strawberry blond and mysterious grey eyes but it was her personality that made her such a drawcard, she was bold and outgoing. She'd been good for Polly because she had dragged Polly out of her shell and until this happened she had never made Polly feel bad about herself.

"No I am not, I am annoying and in the way. They don't want me around. Nobody does." Kim did not like the way this conversation was headed. She worried about what was going on in Abbey's head and also how much she had shared with Polly. Adam and Kim both got the distinct impression that Polly knew more than she was letting on but she steadfastly refused to tell them anything.

"We do, Polly certainly does. Abbey sweetheart please don't say that. We love having you around, you know you are welcome here anytime." She waited until Abbey looked at her. "You are part of our family."

Kim was surprised when Abbey told her about the incident at Navy Pier on Sunday and she seemed genuinely upset that Polly had walked in on her. Sadly she didn't seem upset that it happened, just that Polly witnessed it and that worried Kim.

Kim did ask her if she used protection and she promised her that she always did and that didn't fill Kim with any sense of peace. What did she mean she _always did_? How long had this been going on? As far as she knew Abbey didn't have a boyfriend so did that mean she was sleeping around? Abbey wouldn't be drawn on it no matter how much Kim tried.

Adam got home well after midnight, he was cold and wet and exhausted but they'd closed the case for the most part and now just had the paperwork to finish but that could wait until tomorrow. They had raided a drug den and spent countless hours rounding up the riff raff who had scattered in the wind. "Did you talk to Abbey?" Very rarely did he get into bed without waking Kim up. She slept a little lighter when she knew he was working so would always hear him come in. Once she knew he was home and safe she could fall asleep in an instant and Adam always joked that she slept liked she was dead sometimes but that was probably because she was protecting herself from being hit on. Sometimes when he got home he still had a little too much adrenaline coursing through his veins.

"I did. She didn't say much but something is not right at home, she doesn't want to be there and thinks that nobody wants her around."

"Not good."

"You know what worried me the most?" Kim sat up a little and Adam realised that he wasn't getting to sleep anytime in the next few minutes. "She was telling me about the sex thing and she was upset about Polly seeing her but not about what actually was going on."

"What do you make of that?"

"I don't know yet."

"You'll let me know when I can start freaking out?" He was already falling asleep so there was no point Kim even trying to continue this conversation. It had been a long few days and he'd been home for little more than five hours in two days and had barely slept.

Kim kissed him lightly and lay back down beside her husband. "How about Saturday? Polly is going on a date with Sam and she spent two hours talking to him tonight."

"Fucking fantastic."

 _ **A/N: Next up...Sam fronts up for his date...and seeing as it's the finale, I might just give you that chapter before the show...because I fully expect it to be completely bereft of anything relating to Burzek...yet again.:(**_


	8. What's A BOLO?

_**A/N: Happy PD finale day...let's hope season 5 is kinder to Ruzek.**_

Polly just about died when her she came downstairs and found her father standing in the kitchen in a bullet proof vest with his sidearm firmly strapped to his hip. He also had his full tactical belt on. "Dad." She gasped. Polly had hoped that when he got called into work early that morning that perhaps he wouldn't make it home but there was no way Adam was missing this. He'd told Halstead that he needed to be home at a certain time and she was damn lucky that they whole squad wasn't here.

"What Polly?" Adam tried to look serious, he'd already got a lecture about coming home dressed like he was about to run a raid from Kim which he chose to ignore. "I'm working, I've got ten minutes to met this Sam character and then I am going back to make Chicago safe."

"You just want to scare Sam."

"Well, that too. He's taking my girl out on a date. He's got to know I am armed." He sipped his coffee and smiled and winked at her. "You look beautiful by the way." And she did, she was just like Kim and he had always loved that she was so much like her mother but right now it wasn't exactly pleasing, his wife was hot and got his motor running constantly so the thought that Polly would elicit that response in a teenage boy who no doubt had rampant hormones wasn't a comforting one.

Poor Sam looked like he had swallowed a bug when Polly opened the door. He had been nervous enough about meeting Polly's parents so rocking up and seeing Atwater leaning against the car in the driveway also fully kitted out had just added to his current state of distress. Polly saw him and rolled her eyes and when he saw Polly and Sam looking at him he smiled and waved. "I am so sorry." Polly didn't even give him a chance to say hello. "My Dad thinks this is funny."

"Is he armed too?"

"He is, but be grateful he didn't bring the long guns, although come to think of it they are probably in the trunk of the car." That did little to ease Sam's nerves. It had been a long running joke between her Dad and all her 'uncles' – Jay, Kevin, Antonio, Hank and Al that he was going to bring home the long guns when Polly started dating. Sometimes you couldn't even tell he was carrying a weapon, he often had it shoved done the back of his pants and if he had a jacket on it was concealed, not today, today he had it jutting from his hip for the world to see. Polly tugged on his arm. "Come on. Let's get this over with so we can leave. He's not that bad I promise."

She led him through to the dining room where both her parents were waiting. He shook Adam's hand followed by Kim's. He called them Mr and Mrs Ruzek which Adam had never got used to; he thought it made them sound old and then called Adam sir, which wasn't much better but at least he was polite and he didn't look like a hobo. He was off to a good start, even if he was taking his daughter out on a date. Adam swore he could feel the hormones seeping from every one of his pores.

"You do know Polly has all the sporting ability of a drunk ant?" Adam asked him with just the tiniest hint of a smile. While he may have been joking all Sam could see was that his hand was resting on his gun and how tall he was. Adam Ruzek wasn't a small man and to a nervous 17-year-old boy he was kind of frightening. "I am not sure mini golf is going to go well."

"Dad." Polly was mortified and she was blushing furiously. She really liked Sam, that was obvious to everyone and her Dad was embarrassing her. She desperately looked at her mother but Kim gave her a look as if to say that she knew she had zero chance of stopping him so why even bother.

"What? Let's remember I used to watch your softball games and all those god-awful ballet recitals." He screwed up his nose. "It wasn't good Polly."

"That would explain that thing you called dancing the other night." The kid finally found his voice and Adam liked him. He was smiling at Polly and looked more than a little smitten. It was cute the way Polly was blushing. Ah, young love, how he remembered those days. It seemed like only yesterday he was trying to impress the parents of his first girlfriend and he failed miserably because basically he was a shithead and they spotted him coming a mile off.

"I've checked out this mini golf place, they have CCTV which I can so hack." He clicked his fingers. "In an instant."

"Adam." Kim slapped his arm playfully. "Ignore him Sam. You two go and have a good afternoon. You are welcome to stay for dinner, we'd love to have you." Kim kind of rushed that out because she didn't know what else to say and to stop whatever was on the tip of Adam's tongue. He was bound to say something stupid or embarrassing for Polly, but judging by the way she glared at her mother Kim realised she hadn't done much better.

"Sure, dinner." Adam nodded. "I should have seen the footage by then." Adam cringed a little at the look both Kim and Polly gave him.

Sam wasn't sure if they were kidding or not. "Um, thank you but it's my brother's birthday so we have a family dinner." He could think of nothing worse than staying for dinner, not yet. He certainly hoped that he'd be seeing more of Polly but he wanted to get through today first. It was the first time they would be spending any more than a few minutes alone together, up until now other people had always been around. He didn't count that hour they spent looking for Abbey at Navy Pier because that was so far from okay but he did like that she seemed to want him to be there with her.

Adam held out his arms and Polly gave him a quick hug and kiss along with her mother. "Have fun." He shook Sam's hand and Polly couldn't drag him out of there quick enough. "Drive safely. I've got a BOLO out on your car."

"God I am so sorry Sam." Polly gushed out as soon as they were out the door and she was literally dragging him towards his car. She didn't even bother looking at Kevin on the way past. There was no way she was acknowledging their ridiculous stunt.

"No worse than I was expecting. Isaac warned me." Adam watched from the window as Sam opened the car door for his daughter. So far he seemed to be doing all the right things and he wasn't ugly. When he mentioned that to Kim she just rolled her eyes and told him to go back to work and warned him not to call or message Polly and annoy her. Kim would let him know when Polly got home.

"He's really not that bad."

"Hey, of course he's not. If he was that bad I'd still be sitting on a chair answering 400 questions." He tried not to sound nervous. "What's a BOLO?"

"It means be on the look out and it's what they call it when they are looking for someone and he's kidding, don't worry. He'll save the 400 questions for dinner; I wouldn't be surprised if he brings out the handcuffs. You don't have to come anytime soon, I'll call off the dogs." It was a little too early to contemplate letting Sam sit through a family dinner.

"What if I want too?" Sam was starting to see figure out that Polly was just a little bit cheeky. The way she dropped in the comment about the handcuffs was cute, a little unsettling, but cute. She was reeling him in but he was pretty sure she had no idea she was doing it.

"Then be prepared."

"I did scouts."

"Really?" Polly turned herself slightly in her seat so she could watch him as he drove. Although they had talked more than a few times this was the first time they were really alone with each other. She was a little nervous but excited. He wasn't the first boy she'd had a crush on but he was the first that paid her any attention in return. Almost all of her infatuations had been unrequited and all the attention she did receive were from boys that she didn't like. She'd had a couple of dates and they did nothing for her confidence. Some of that she blamed on the fact that just about everyone knew her father was a cop in a specialised Unit and thought that she was too much trouble. The boys that did make an effort seemed to be doing it for challenge of dating Polly and made no attempt to get to know her. Sam had actually chased her and now here they were.

"Of course not." He laughed. "I'm not that pathetic. Zoo Explorers was more my thing." Sam was the youngest in his family. He had an older brother, Andrew who was working as a Chef and two sisters, Heidi and Lauren. Heidi was studying to be a nurse and closest to Sam in age, although she was almost 4 years older and Lauren who was into PR and was living in LA. Sam had been a bit of a surprise for his parents. He was into animals and his plan was to be a zoologist so anything to do with animals he was there. One day on the weekend he was usually working at the Lincoln Park Zoo and one week during school holidays. It helped that his Dad was a Vet and got him a foot in the door.

"I think my Dad would have laughed if Gus wanted to do that too. He was way more into making sure he played sport." Her Dad, despite loving the structure and discipline of being in the Police Force, albeit the Intelligence Unit worked with some pretty loose guidelines, he would have baulked at something like Scouts or Cadets for Angus. Their Pops had apparently tried to get their Dad into Police Explorers when he was running wild but not much could tame Adam as a child and they spent more time digging him out of trouble than anything. Sport was a much better use of his excess energy and he certainly encouraged Angus to do the same.

"Your Dad's unit? I've heard rumours." Everyone in Chicago knew about Intelligence but they didn't know what they did. None of their cases ended up in the paper but people knew there was this crazy unit who took on the shit that no one else wanted to touch. He wanted to get a handle on this from the start. The amount of advice he'd got to stay away from Polly Ruzek was alarming not because of her but because of her father; he couldn't stop himself though and decided not to listen to it and work it out for himself. He still wanted to know what he was letting himself in for.

"I can imagine. We don't really talk about it. All I can say is a lot of people want them doing what they do."

"Sounds rough."

"It's always been this way so I guess I am just used to it." Polly shrugged. "He often comes home battered and bruised and he's been shot a couple of times. Nothing serious mind you, he'd had his shoulder clipped once and a bullet grazed his thigh a few years back. He'd taken the odd one in the vest which knocked him on his ass a couple of times." It sounded terrible but more often than not it was black eyes, bruises and a few stitches. They'd always know when he'd had a rough day because he'd hobble through the door and complain about it extracting the required amount of sympathy. When Polly was younger she would fuss over him, giving him massages, wiping his face with a damp cloth and sitting and holding his hand and tending to his every whim. Adam missed those days, even if they were a little tedious at the time. They also knew when it had been pretty rough because he would disappear into his bedroom and they knew to leave him alone.

"Holy Crap Polly, does that freak you out?"

"It does. It's pretty intense sometimes and when he is on a really hard case he can be pretty distant and we just keep out of his way. Most of the times we don't really know he's on a dangerous case until after they are done." Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know much more. Polly tried not to worry about her Dad at work because if she did she would be a nervous wreck. He kept telling her that he'd been doing it a long time, he was smart and he had a good team backing him up. She'd gotten so good at pretending it didn't worry her that she knew she sounded a little emotionless and that couldn't be farther from the truth. "I can't worry about him at work all day, it would drive me insane. He's nothing like what he is at work. He's pretty cool actually."

'That guy out the front?" It was hard not to notice Atwater, he was big and black and even more frightening than her father.

"Kevin." Polly rolled her eyes. "My Dad's partner, they've been together for years. He's a big teddy bear but Dad would have roped him into that little sideshow. I'm surprised there weren't more of them. Mom is always at them about their antics, they are like kids when they are together. Don't worry about Kev."

"More of them?"

"Sure, there is a few more of them who have worked with my parents for years. They are all pretty harmless though. Some of them are retired now. You'll have to meet them all eventually."

How could he not worry? He'd just picked up a girl from her house and been confronted with not one but two armed men. No wonder Polly didn't seem to have really dated anyone else, at least not more than once because no one was stupid enough to try. He was grateful that Polly was talking like this may not be a 'once and done' situation although the way it was going it might be him that hightailed it out of there. To be fair though, unless she grew horns in the next few hours he was pretty sure he'd be back for more.

Sam decided it was time to change the subject. "How's Abbey?"

"Not talking to me." Her smiled faded just a little bit.

"Why?" He didn't have a lot of time for Abbey and he certainly didn't like what he saw on the weekend and was worried that Polly was going to get dragged in too deep and the few times he'd talked to her during the week he hadn't bothered to ask about Abbey. He'd talked to Isaac about them though, quite a bit because he knew Polly better than most and while everyone kept telling him to stay away from Polly Ruzek, Isaac was the only one who encouraged him to go for it. He knew how tight she was with Abbey and they had been friends for a long time so getting on her best friends bad side or slagging her off wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"Because my parents tried to help her."

"That was pretty rough last weekend."

Polly closed her eyes for just a moment. She had tried to talk to Abbey all week and got nothing. "Can we not talk about it? I just want to forget about it for today." Although Abbey had stayed for dinner after Kim talked to her she barely spoke to Polly and left pretty much as soon as dinner was done.

The next day Abbey basically reamed Polly out for blabbing to her parents. "Now your Mom is all over my ass. I guess you Dad knows too? Just what I need? It's none of your business what I do and who I do it with."

"I was worried about you. I didn't like it and I was in trouble for being late."

"So you dobbed on me to save your ass. Some friend you turned out to be. Stay out of my business." She stormed off. Polly tried to talk to her, call her or message her but got nothing back. She basically ignored her at school.

Polly was devastated and Kim struggled to get her to try and see it from Abbey's point of view and give her some space. God knows she'd had fights with her girlfriends growing up but they always calmed down and worked it out. Adam wanted to take Abbey to task but Kim also talked him down from the ledge. Eventually Kim convinced Polly to leave it a few days and try again. By Friday Abbey had responded to one of her messages and that had cheered her up a bit.

Together with the concern they had about what was going on with Abbey, the effect it was having on Polly worried them just as much, if not more. Fortunately the prospect of her date with Sam gave her something else to think about and focus on and they did like how excited she was. Polly had convinced her Mom to take her shopping for a new pair of jeans and top. Adam had just about died when he saw the receipt and when Kim reminded him how often she had bought something new to impress him on a date it did little to pacify him. Kim would often have the hottest new dress to wear that would leave him itching to get her out of it as quickly as possible, add to that he remembered his own behaviour as a teenage boy and did not make having a teenage daughter starting to date any easier, in fact it may have been his worst nightmare.

"Okay, you know I was never interested in Abbey. I want to make that clear." Sam told her, touching her hand lightly. "Also, I know Abbey said some things that might have freaked you out. That's not me Polly, that's not why I am here. I really like you and I want to get to know you. I don't expect anything. Right now, we are just friends okay."

"I'd really like that." Sam loved the smile that spread across her face. Polly didn't want to think about Abbey today, she wanted to think about Sam and how he was making her happy and he looked delighted when she reached over and held his hand.

This was where she wanted to be today, with Sam and nothing was going to rain on her parade.

They had fun, they laughed a lot and Polly liked how he even stood behind her and helped her with her golf a few times. Not that she needed it but it felt nice. He was sweet and he would cover his eyes as she ran to get her ball when she had belted it out of bounds pretending not to see her cheating. Before they got back in his car he looked over both his shoulders. "Who are you looking for? My Dad?"

"No, just checking for CCTV." Polly felt like a basket full of butterflies were let loose in her stomach as he leant in to kiss her. It was soft and sweet.

It was Polly's first real kiss and she floated through the rest of the weekend.


	9. A Big Fat F

The house was quiet when he finally got home. Adam looked at the clock, it was late, almost nine but not ridiculously so and he was surprised that the house was so quiet. Heading straight for the kitchen without turning the light on he checked the fridge for something to eat. He was a little peeved that he'd just done a fourteen-hour day and he'd been on his feet for almost twelve of them.

"Hey Baby." Kim's voice made him jump as she appeared in the doorway and flicked on the light and he squinted against the sudden brightness. "You're home?"

"No, not really. I sent my doppelganger so you wouldn't get lonely and invite the boyfriend over." Kim laughed and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him sweetly. "I missed you today."

"You were busy." Adam stepped back as Kim pulled some leftovers from the fridge to heat up. "How hungry are you?"

"Darlin' I could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck." He grabbed a beer and leant against the bench as Kim started warming up the pasta bake. "How are the kids?"

"Hmmm." Kim nodded at the beer in his hand. "You might want to finish that first."

"What now?" He hated these conversations. Nothing good ever came from Kim telling his to finish his beer. He tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling and blew out a long slow breath. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Polly or Angus?"

"Angus." He exhaled again slowly. Polly scared him lately, not because she seemed overly upset or worried about anything. Things were back to normal as far as he could tell, except for the boyfriend thing and that's precisely what worried him. He was concerned that either she was going to break up with him and be a heartbroken blubbering mess or he was going to have to pay for a shotgun wedding. One scenario was certainly preferable to the other.

"What's he done?"

Kim handed him the piece of paper that was sitting on the table. Adam hadn't seen it in the dark. Angus had done his best to hide it and wanted to take it up to his room once his mother had shown it to him but Kim refused to allow it. His father had to see it. "What the fuck?" he read it twice. "How the hell is he failing English and Maths?"

"I asked him exactly the same thing."

"And?"

Kim was actually glad that Adam wasn't home because when Angus finally appeared downstairs and only because Kim basically dragged him from his room. "Is Dad home?" he knew exactly why Kim was pissed with him. The school had wised up to kids a long time ago and had sent her a message, like all parents now got, telling them that the midterm exam results had been uploaded today and could be viewed on the website. Kim logged in at work and was gobsmacked. She printed it off and it was now lying on the table between the two of them. Fortunately for Angus she hadn't seen Adam all day. One look at her face and he would have seen how pissed off she was.

She had asked him what was going on and he just shrugged. "Can you not tell Dad?"

"No."

"What if I promise to get my grades up?"

"Nice try." He reached for the piece of paper. "Uh, not happening." Kim put her hand on top of it. "Your Dad will want to read it when he gets home."

"He'll go nuts."

"Perhaps you should have thought of that before you preceded to get a 35 and 46 on your midterms."

"But physical science, sport and American history are good." He tried to point out the good things he'd done but it sounded pretty weak even to him and he knew it was going to mean absolutely nothing to his parents.

"What's going on Angus? Your grades are never this bad?" He certainly would never be classified a straight A student, that was more Polly but he never struggled either. At times his level of effort reflected his results but he had rarely failed anything and never this badly.

"Nothing."

"So you just decided not to try?"

"No, it's just harder than I thought." When Kim asked him why he didn't tell them he was finding it hard he shrugged again. "I didn't want you to think I am stupid. I don't want Dad to think I am an idiot."

"We don't think you are stupid or an idiot. We would have helped, got you a tutor, whatever you needed."

"Because I am stupid." His voice was starting to quiver a little.

"No Angus. Admitting you are finding some things hard to understand is not being stupid just as having a tutor doesn't make you dumb."

"If we get a tutor can you not tell Dad?"

"Angus, he gets the same messages I do, he can log in and see for himself. Sure today he was busy and didn't get the chance but he knows what's going on. Can you imagine how angry he'd be when he finds out and he realises we didn't tell him?" Angus realised how futile it was to try and hide it from his Dad.

"He won't care, he's always too busy." Kim frowned a little. Sure Adam was busy and didn't always get to do all the things they hoped he would do or be around as often as he would like but the kids were hardly neglected. He didn't get to check the results today because he was out in the field all day but if he were at his desk he would always check his emails, especially from the school. Kim rarely had to tell him what was going on because he knew.

"That's not fair Angus. Your Dad does his best."

"Then where is he?"

"Stop Angus." Kim held up her hand indicating she'd heard enough. "Do not throw this back on your Dad. He busts his gut to get home; he knows what's going on. Who is pretty much always at your games? Who goes running with you three times a week? Who took you to the batting cage on Sunday?"

"Then where is he now?"

"He's at work, you know that thing that pays for this house, your clothes, food, education, baseball gear, holidays and everything else you get."

He folded his arms defiantly across his chest. Kim waved him away. "We'll talk about this when he gets home."

"If he comes home." He mumbled and Kim chose to ignore it as he stormed out of the kitchen and took himself up to his room early in the hopes that he would get home too late to do anything about it tonight.

Kim replaced the empty beer bottle in his hand with a plate of food. "He thinks you will think he is an stupid if he admitted that he was struggling."

"I don't think he's stupid." He mumbled through a mouthful of pasta, he was still leaning against the bench as he shoved the food in. Lunch had been hours ago and apart from a donut and four cups of coffee he'd had nothing since about midday. "I'm not happy though."

"Neither am I."

"It's not just a bad result, that's a big fat F."

They both knew he didn't love school and wasn't as diligent a student as Polly was but with very little effort he seemed to breeze through with few problems. So to be this bad was extra special. "Why now? Why all of sudden is he shit at Maths and English?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"What did he say?"

When Kim told him that he just shrugged and didn't really have an answer she could see that got Adam's hackles up. "Well I hope like hell he's thought about it a bit, he could a least put a bit of effort into his pathetic attempt at justifying failing school."

"He also commented about you never being here and not caring."

Kim knew that Adam hated it when they bought up how often he wasn't home. "It's not like I do anything I can to get out of coming home. I would much rather be here."

"I know. Adam," Kim rested her hand on his arm. "Gus was just lashing out trying to blame everyone else for his poor results." He finished off his dinner and Kim took the plate from him and rinsed it before putting it in the dishwasher while Adam went to find Angus.

He knocked on his door and did not even wait for a response before he opened it, turned on the light and told him to get up and come downstairs. No way was he asleep; Adam had seen his bedroom light was still on when he pulled in the driveway. Didn't these kids know by now he was a Detective? He noticed things.

One thing they had never done was bail up their kids in their rooms when they were in trouble. That was their safe place. They were never allowed to hide in there but if they needed to be spoken to or to explain themselves it was always done elsewhere. Adam hated when his parents would burst into his room and tear strips off him for his latest escapade so he swore they would never do it to their kids. Didn't stop him demanding their presence downstairs though and they always did as they were told and once it was done they were welcome to retreat back to their own space and lick their wounds.

"So, how's school?" Adam waited until Angus looked sufficiently nervous.

"Obviously you know." Such a smart arsed answer for someone who wasn't coming from a position of strength. Kim shook her head sadly, bracing herself for Adam's explosion. They would never learn.

"Want to try that again?" He was surprisingly calm and Angus was just as shocked as Kim.

"I didn't do well at English and Maths."

Adam read the piece of paper in his hand. "Well that's an understatement." He looked up and Angus who was just staring into space, looking at anything but his parents. "So I am assuming from that reply you are not even going to try and talk your way out of it?"

"No."

He tapped the folded paper on his leg repeatedly waiting for Angus to say something and when he felt like he had given him long enough he let loose. "Care to explain how the hell you get a 35 in English? What? Did you get that for spelling your name right at the top of the page, because it's bloody near on impossible to get 35. You are not an idiot Angus so I don't understand how you even got this low a score, I mean you have to actually try to be this bad. Can you not tell the difference between Shakespeare and a harlequin romance book?"

"Yes."

"Oh I get it now, judging by you monosyllabic responses you don't understand English at all?" He continued to rant. "Is that it?"

"The book was shit."

Kim looked at Adam when he let out this strange laugh. "Oh the book was shit so you just didn't even bother?"

"I read it, I just didn't understand it."

'Then ask for help Angus, Jesus." He threw his hands up in the air and turned to Kim. "Sometimes I feel like we are just here to pay the bills. They don't really need us to do anything other than annoy the shit out of them occasionally." Facing Angus again he continued. "And I am guessing that's the same excuse for Maths?"

"It's stupid, I'll never need half that stuff."

"I'll tell you something for nothing, I thought that too but I can tell you it helps. Maybe not everything and you may not want to get into maths later on and we don't expect you to get A's but Angus passing all these other subjects means jack shit if you don't pass English and Maths."

"Angus, what can we do to help?" Kim tried to change tack slightly. They could get into a never-ending discussion about why he was failing and how he needed to do better but that wasn't going to help him actually get the grades he needed.

"I don't know." He shrugged, that god damn insolent shrug.

Adam saw it. "Well if you don't know, we'll figure it out for you." He pointed back and forth between Kim and himself. "For starters though. The computer comes out of your room for a month, and there is no paint balling on the weekend."

"But I've already paid to go. It's a waste of money." Suddenly he wasn't quite so smug about it all.

"A bit like the thousands of dollars we pay for your education. You don't seem to mind wasting that." Adam was completely un-moved even when he started to tear up. "The rest we will let you know."

"Okay." Angus muttered quietly.

"One more thing." Kim knew exactly what was coming. "I know you think I don't care about what's going on or don't pay any attention but you are wrong Angus, you are so god damn wrong. I hate not being here every night, I hate it but this is my job, this has always been my job and I bust my gut to get home. If I don't what do I do? Huh?" He waited for Gus to answer. "Huh? Tell me what I do if I am not here?"

"You call."

"Every single bloody time and what do I ask you?"

"How's school and how's baseball."

"And what do I tell you?"

"That you love me."

"Every single god damn time. So don't tell me I don't care."

"Sorry. Can I go?"

"Yes." Adam nodded his head towards the stairs. He was smart enough to kiss his mother goodnight and give his Dad a quick hug. "Love you Bud." Adam told him although it was probably the last thing Angus wanted to hear right now.

"I see why my parents didn't really like me." Adam muttered as he fetched himself another beer. He poured Kim a glass of wine and bought it in for her. Lowering himself onto the couch he stretched out his legs and threw his feet up on the table.

"You can see yourself in him hey?"

"Oh god yes. Kim, he can't fail."

"I know. What do we do?"

"Well he needs a tutor for starters."

"I guess they are really our kids aren't they. Polly is the straight A student like you." Adam tapped her lightly under the chin, "And Angus is the ratbag like me."

"Hmmm. So it seems. It scares me a little."

"It scares me a lot." Adam admitted. He had been pretty wild as a teenager until he decided he needed to pull his head in if he wanted to be a cop. There was only so many times his old man could bail him out before he got himself a record. He was pretty sure Angus wasn't quite that bad but this was a worrying sign. It all had to start somewhere.

"He's proud of you. I've heard him talk to other people about you and what you do."

"I know we've had issues about how much I am not around but I thought we were doing better?" And they had definitely had issues. Apart from the Undercover work they'd had cases over the years that dragged on for weeks and even when Adam was home he wasn't really with them. "You need to tell me if it gets too much for you again."

A few months ago Adam had three weeks when he hadn't been home for either breakfast or dinner and had missed Angus's game. Even at the District Adam had barely spoken to Kim and the pressure built until they had a big blow out when Adam blew off a weekend upstate with Kim's sister at the last minute. Kim and the kids went anyway and when she got home the kitchen was trashed but the final straw was their unmade bed.

"At least I know you still fucking live here." Kim lost her shit and starting reefing the sheets off the bed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I was starting to wonder if you'd left me."

"Like you did this weekend?"

"I'm surprised you even noticed we weren't here, I mean we've been in this house for the past few weeks and you didn't notice."

"Yes, because I just love working twenty hour days." Kim shoved the sheets at him and pushed past him to get some clean ones out.

"I bet you do."

"Awesome. Perhaps next time I'll just let the drug cartel move right on in. It'll be great when the kids start hitting up bars and doing lines but hey, at least I'll be able to sleep at night because I was home for fucking dinner." He stormed down the stairs, which managed to piss Kim off even more.

"Fuck you Adam." She yelled after him.

They sniped at each other for days until Polly called them on their crap. Yet despite the tension in the house Adam always kissed Kim goodnight and always before he left the house for work. It was hard, they were no different from anyone else and had ups and downs. You didn't make it twenty years without them. You could love someone with every single fibre in your body but sometimes you just didn't like them.

Kim leant on his shoulder and brushed his hair back off his forehead. It was growing out a little at the moment, for what reason she wasn't really sure and she assumed that eventually he would find time to do something about it. Maybe he could take Angus with him on the weekend to get it cut, although considering that Adam had just busted his plans for paintballing she guessed Angus wouldn't be that keen to spend the day with his Dad.

"We are." They were doing better, they'd got over their spat and making up was very satisfying.

"Do you really think that Angus is upset that I haven't been around or is he just trying to blame me for his poor results?"

"I think he's trying to blame you, make you feel guilty."

"Good fucking job then."

"Adam, Baby."

"It's okay Kim." He ran his hand up and down her thigh. "I know I'm not perfect. As much as that might shock you."

"Who is?" she leant a little closer and nibbled on his ear. "But Baby you are perfect for me."

"Watch yourself Darlin', I'm feeling a little toey."

"Before we go any further, what about Gus?"

"I'll make some calls tomorrow, find him a tutor."

"I can do that." Kim started nibbling his ear again.

"Let me, I want to show him that I do know what's going on and that I do care." Adam wanted to do it, he wanted Gus to know that he cared about what was going on with him and that he'd do anything to make sure he had every opportunity to succeed in whatever he wanted to do.

"Ah…Adam Ruzek, you are so hot when you go all Dad."


	10. Meet The Fockers

Sam avoided it for as long as possible. He'd had dinner at Polly's place a couple of times and her parents were actually quite normal. Her Dad did ask a lot of questions but he was pretty casual about it and Sam certainly didn't feel threatened by him. He thought her Mom was really sweet and she would do her best to keep her Dad under control and it was pretty funny to watch. Sam swore that sometimes he was just doing it to get a rise out of Polly and his wife and it worked every time.

Now apparently he had to face the 'family' and that was when things might just get a little more challenging for Sam because this family included the Intelligence Unit and a fair sprinkling of CFD also. Polly warned him that her Dad tended to get worse when he was surrounded by this unruly mob but if he passed this test he was home and hosed. The thought that it was a test wasn't exactly filling him with confidence.

It was Kim's birthday and as always they had a huge BBQ. It tended to be the first one of the year once it wasn't quite below freezing anymore. Polly convinced Sam that coming early rather than later would be his best option, just like ripping off the Band-Aid. "You turn up late they will all be here and circling like hungry dogs. They'll have had a few drinks and you will be fresh meat."

"Polly, this is not making me feel any better. Just so you know."

"So come early and then you can meet them in dribs and drabs and when they are at their most docile." They way she kept talking about them like they were a pack of wild dogs was not helping him with his nerves.

What Polly had neglected to tell Sam was that out of all the kids here not only was she the oldest she was also the only girl. She thought that might flip him out a little too much. Lucas Dawson was an only child, Joey, Max and Riley Halstead were all boys and Jackson Severide was barely five and the youngest of the lot. Obviously Antonio and Al had daughters but they were adults now so they weren't really included in this unruly mob.

It had taken Kelly a long time to get over Anna's death, they hadn't been together long but it had hit him hard and he went back to his hard partying ways for a while but he gradually moved on. There had been quite a few girlfriends over the years and everyone had been surprised when Kelsey fell pregnant not long after they started going out. To their credit they had done pretty well and Jackson Severide was a tearaway but all the other kids loved him. Joe Cruz also managed to produce only boys, Noah, Daniel, Walt and James. They had kept trying for a girl, Stacey his wife was desperate for a daughter but they decided to stop once James was born.

They never knew if Hudson and Tate Atwater would come or not. Kev and Elise had split up a long time ago and things were tense at best between them and sometimes Kev had the boys and sometimes he didn't. Kevin had now been seeing Bessie for the past year but nobody was really feeling her just yet and Elise basically hated her and she didn't want her anywhere near her boys. How Kim and Adam lucked out with the only girl was beyond them as everyone else spat out boy after boy.

Throw in Al, who thought of Polly and Angus as his own grandkids, Hank Voight or Papa as Polly and Gus always called him and Trudy Platt, who to this day still teased the shit out of Adam and it had all the ingredients for a natural disaster. The lightening rod in the middle of all this was poor hapless Sam, the boy who had decided to hitch his carriage to Polly Ruzek's wagon.

Polly met Sam outside. He leant on the car for a few minutes and grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a kiss. "Just so you know, like before we go in. I am the only girl out of everyone's kids so they tend to be a little over protective." She drummed her fingers on his chest.

"You are enjoying this aren't you?"

"Just a little." She nodded and giggled. "You'll be fine. Dad likes you and Mom thinks you're pretty cute so they won't let them get too out of control." She kissed him again. "Unless Dad get's really drunk and then all bets are off." She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the house.

"I actually feel sick Polly." He whined.

"Happy Birthday Mrs Ruzek." Sam handed her a bunch of flowers. Polly insisted that he didn't have to get her anything but it felt rude not too. He'd briefly talked to Adam on the way in and it had settled his nerves just a little seeing that no one was around and he did mention that Kim would love the flowers and that he was showing him up. Of course that was a lie, Adam spoilt Kim rotten on her birthday like always. She'd got jewellery and new lingerie, obviously just as much for him as for Kim and he always took her out for dinner to a restaurant they'd never been to before. She was treated like a queen with breakfast in bed but Sam didn't need to know that, he was petrified so Adam threw him a bone.

Trudy snorted, even after all this time she still saw Burgess as this wide eyed rookie who used to hang off her desk and complain constantly about god knows what. "Who's this? Should I know who this is?" She looked from Sam to Kim and back at Sam.

"This is Sam. Polly's boyfriend."

"Since when has Polly been allowed to date? Why did I not know this?" She eyed Sam suspiciously and turned back to Kim and spoke like he wasn't even there. "His background check was clear?" Sam did wonder if he should just back out of the kitchen and hide outside because the way this woman was checking him out made him nervous. Kim introduced him to Trudy Platt and it did little to make him want to stay. He had heard about this woman, Kim's old boss and how she still made Adam nervous.

"Since Sam was brave enough to actually come inside and not just honk his horn from the driveway." Adam came through the back door at precisely that moment. "And he keeps coming back."

"Right." Trudy held out her glass demanding that Adam fill it before she grabbed Sam by the arm and led him outside. "I need to chat to this Ben character."

"It's Sam." He offered weakly as he was led away. He shot a quick look at Adam who was laughing; he was going to get no help from him. Right now Polly's Dad was a walk in the park compared to this Trudy woman.

"Don't care. You may not be around long enough for me to remember your real name." She scoffed. "So Ben will do for now."

"Well that's a comforting thought." He mumbled under his breath. Trudy's lips twitched into something that almost resembled a smile. Oh she liked this boy; Adam Ruzek deserved someone who was just as belligerent as he was.

'Where's Sam?" Polly had run upstairs briefly and when she came back down both her parents were in the kitchen peering out the window.

"Trudy wanted a chat so they are outside." Adam pointed through the window.

"Why? Why would you let that happen?" Both of them laughed as she bolted from the house. They thought it was hysterical when Trudy held up her hand as soon as Polly's foot hit the back porch making Polly stop dead in her tracks. "I'll talk to you in a minute." She did not even bat an eyelid or take his eyes of Sam as she pointed at Polly.

Things didn't get much better for Sam and by the time he was introduced to Voight he had almost lost the will to live. He barely had the chance to talk to Polly and she just watched on helplessly as her family showed no mercy. He was grateful when the Nerf guns came out and he jumped at the chance to muck around with the boys and get away from the family interrogations.

Sam was pretty cute when he was carrying Jackson on his back and getting him to shoot at the other boys and he had Jackson squealing with joy because up until now he had been left out of the game being so little and everyone was worried he'd get hurt. Sam had taken it upon himself to help him join in the fun. He even held his own when suddenly it became adults against kids and he was obviously the main target. He rallied the troops for a full on frontal assault on the adults and while they focussed on Sam, the rest of his army ambushed Adam, Jay, Kevin and Antonio. The kids loved him and there was a lot of high fiving going on after they declared themselves the winners.

"Polly." He whispered when she sat on the arm of the chair he had collapsed in. "They are going to kill me eventually, aren't they?"

"They are not going to kill you."

"You sure? There is talk of paintballing."

They were certainly enjoying playing with Sam and as frustrated as Polly was she knew them well enough to know that if they didn't like him they wouldn't have bothered and the fact he wasn't backing down and crawling into his shell was impressing Adam the most. "You are not going paintballing with them."

"It didn't seem like it was a choice."

Al came and sat down beside them. He was the only one Sam hadn't had the pleasure of being interrogated by yet. He asked Polly to go grab him a beer and Sam let go of her hand, he had enjoyed the five minutes he got to talk to her. They'd had very little chance to even talk to each other.

"She's like my granddaughter." Al muttered, he wasn't even looking at Sam he was watching Polly. Since his retirement Al had become more of a hermit than ever before. He still happily came out when he was invited and loved these big family catch ups but he just didn't seek anyone out. Adam had a regular catch up with him and it was mutually beneficial for both of them and they had him and Voight over for dinner at least once a month. To this day Al was still his mentor, his sanity check and his sounding board.

"I really like her."

"So do I." Al was quiet and a lot less in his face than some of the others had been. Trudy had been the worst but the three cops; Jay, Kevin and Antonio were not that much better. They were almost like cats playing with a half dead mouse. "I talked to her Dad about you, quite a bit actually. He's very forthcoming with some information."

"I seem to be the hot topic of conversation today."

"Ah, everyone is just surprised that Polly has grown up all of a sudden. It wasn't that long ago that she was running around the bullpen with pigtails trying to get glittery stickers and candies from our desks."

"Polly still likes stealing candy."

"Typical bloody Ruzek." Al watched Polly as she made her way back towards them. "Ruzek thinks you are okay and that's good enough for me."

He patted Sam on the knee as Polly approached and handed Al his beer. "What did he tell you?"

"Al told me how you've always been a gummy bear thief." He reached up for Polly's hand and Al didn't miss the look they shared. They were cute together and this boy wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Now that he'd held his own against some pretty stiff opposition everyone eased up on Sam for the rest of the afternoon and evening and that allowed him to relax and start to enjoy himself. He'd been tortured enough for now but to give him credit he didn't take a backwards step. How quickly the tables turned though and suddenly he was being told all sorts of stories about what Polly used to get up too and she was the one that was cringing.

A Sunday afternoon spent alone together shortly after that day with Polly's family changed everything for them. They'd gone down to the beach near his parent's summerhouse. It wasn't exactly warm and the water was freezing but they spent a few hours mucking around with each other and Polly squealed when Sam picked her up and threatened to dump her in the water and giggled as he piggy backed her down the beach before heading back to the house to warm up. Sam lit the fire and they made hot chocolate and cuddled up and watched a movie. When Polly slipped a hand up under Sam's shirt he was a little surprised, Polly had never really made the first move.

Polly didn't look at him for a while and Sam just let her go but when she caught him staring at her and she pulled her hand away quickly and he smiled, sat up and took his shirt off and grabbed her hand and rested it back on his chest. He closed his eyes and waited and slowly she started moving her fingers. Her nervousness disappeared eventually. "I like your hands."

"You do?"

"I like them even better now they are touching me."

"It feels nice."

"Yes it does. I am not going to stop you anytime soon that's for sure."

Polly was now lying on her side, facing Sam. He rolled his head towards her and smiled before closing his eyes and letting Polly continue. "What's this scar from?"

"I had pneumonia when I was ten and had a collapsed lung so they put in a chest tube." She was running her fingers over a faint scar between two of his ribs.

"Did it hurt?"

"Don't remember the tube, but the pneumonia was pretty shitty. I think I missed more than a month of school." He was surprised when she leant forward and kissed his scar, it was a pretty sweet moment and surprisingly sexy.

"You got any scars you want me to kiss?"

"No." She blushed and looked away shyly.

"You are lying."

"How can you tell?"

Sam propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Polly and touched her cheek lightly. "Because you are blushing and it's very cute."

"I got bitten, by this little kid in Day Care. Apparently Dad flipped out completely and ordered every test under the sun, there may even have been talk of charges being laid. Apparently over reacting has always been his thing and Mom seriously considered not sending me anymore because she was so embarrassed. I think I was three."

"I am not looking forward to your Dad's over-reaction."

"To what?"

"To this." He closed the distance between them and kissed her hard. Running his hands down her back he pulled her hips in close to his and made sure she was aware of precisely the effect she was having on him. He let her go just as quickly.

"Oh, okay."

"Show me your scar?" He asked quietly; it was almost a little desperately. She was seriously pushing him to the edge even if she didn't know it.

When Polly showed no signs of even pointing it out to him Sam grabbed one arm and then the other and held them above her head. "Show me?" he teased her playfully.

"No."

"Ah, come on Babe. Show me." He begged and she eventually relented and told him if he wanted to see it he had to let her go. Polly rolled over on her back and unbuttoned her jeans and pulled it down over one hip while she lifted her shirt a little. Sam's eyes widened with delight. "It's on my hip."

Sam laughed as he ran his fingers over her skin until they stopped on the faintest of scars. "Is that it?" It wasn't the fact he was touching her skin it was the location that set Polly's heart racing and then when he slowly lowered his mouth of kissed her bare hip she thought it was going to stop altogether.

"That's it."

"It's cute. I can't believe someone bit my baby." He kissed it again and then nipped her skin lightly making her gasp and jump a little.

Polly's eyes fluttered closed and then she pulled her jeans back over her hip letting Sam know he'd gone as low as he was going to go but she did let him push her shirt up and kiss the skin on her belly. "Can I take this off?" He muttered, his breath tickling her skin.

"Yes." And Polly tried to relax as he slowly unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders. The feeling of his hands and mouth against her skin was intoxicating and she could see how it would be easy to get carried away and when he rolled over and pressed her body into the ground with his it was almost game over. He was gently nudging her forward, pushing her a little more each time but as soon as he felt any kind of resistance he stopped.

This particular afternoon it left them both breathless, it wasn't just hands touching bare skin, it was bodies pressed together creating heat and friction that was pushing them forward relentlessly. Suddenly Sam sat up and handed Polly her shirt. "You should put this back on."

"Why?"

"Because Polly, look at me." He nodded towards his groin, not that he needed to point that out, she'd certainly felt it. "I need to stop because you are not ready for this."

"How do you know?"

"Because you are scared to touch me." She grabbed the shirt and pulled it on. Both of them felt a little disappointed at the abrupt end to their make out session but it was for the best. Polly wasn't ready, Sam wanted her to be but as much as he could have ignored her feelings and pushed her harder he wasn't that guy.

"I want to be." She added a little quietly, dropping her head so that he couldn't see her face.

Sam leant forward, hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her head so that he could see her. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek before kissing her softly. "One day Polly, it's okay. I can wait."

"How long?" Despite how well they were getting on and how close they were getting Polly still worried about what Abbey had said that day, that eventually he would move on if she didn't give him what he wanted.

"Until you are ready." He pressed his forehead against hers. "Don't worry."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. Today was perfect." And it had been, it took Polly a little while to relax around him stop feeling embarrassed but by the time they drove home he was making her laugh again. Polly knew where they were heading and she was starting to feel like it was going to happen sooner rather than later and Sam had realised he was in far too deep now to walk away.

They didn't see what was ahead though; nobody saw it coming.


	11. The Tipping Point

The desperate scream in the middle of the night was a horrible way to wake up. It took Adam a second to realise what was going on and to figure out where it was coming from. It was coming from Polly's room, his daughter was screaming. Blinking to help his eyes to adjust to the gloom, his heart was just about beating out of his chest. Adam sat up and frantically trying to gather his bearings.

Before they even had the chance to get out of bed their room was suddenly awash with light as Polly burst through the door, flicking on the light and screaming at them to help. "Polly, what?" Adam found his voice first while Kim shot out of bed when she saw Polly clutching her phone and shaking uncontrollably.

"It's Abbey?" her phone slipped from her hands and crashed to the floor. Adam was now out of bed pulling on a t-shirt while Kim bent down and picked up her phone. "I think she's dying."

Kim tried to read the message but hands were shaking just as much as Polly's and it didn't help that Polly was hysterically screaming at them to do something. "What do you mean?" Adam flew across the room and caught Polly as she started to buckle at the knees.

"Oh God Adam." Kim gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as she handed him the phone.

Abbey had sent Polly a message. _'I love you Polly, you're my best friend and I don't want to leave you but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.'_

"Fuck." He literally shoved Polly into Kim's arms as he searched for his pants and boots. "Polly, where is Abbey? Is she at home?"

"I think so. Nobody's home." She could barely speak. "Hurry up."

Angus appeared in the doorway, obviously the screaming had woken him up and Kim shook her head when he was about to speak. "Go back to bed Gus. I'll be in in a minute." He just stood in the doorway watching what was going on until Kim told him to go.

"Stay here." He grabbed his phone, wallet and badge and was already calling 911, barking his badge number into the phone; he didn't want to waste a second. If it were a false call, so be it, he'd deal with that later.

"I want to come with you?" Polly wailed as she lunged at her Dad. Kim struggled to hold onto her as Adam pushed her away again. He wasn't particularly gentle with Polly and Kim stumbled a little at the force of his shove but he had to go and they were blocking the doorway.

"No Polly _."_ He bolted from the house. He had no idea what he was walking into and he'd seen a lot of shit in his days so there was no way he was putting his daughter at risk of seeing something that she would never be able to forget.

"Dad." She was screaming hysterically as Adam left them standing in the doorway and he could hear her voice behind him and it was the worst sound in the world and running away from them was seriously killing him.

"Polly, sweetheart. Let Dad go, he will call us as soon as he sees Abbey. We can't help her now, your Dad can and he will." Kim held on tight as Polly thrashed about tyring to get free from her mother's arms. Eventually she managed to wrangle her back to their bed when she finally stopped fighting and Kim got her to lie down as she sobbed against her mother's chest.

Abbey had been much better lately. She seemed to be her old self again and her friendship with Polly had gotten back on track. Despite Polly spending more time with Sam, they always made sure that they still did things together. Polly talked to her everyday and Adam often complained that in between Abbey and Sam she spent more time messaging them than she spent actually talking to her family, she still came for dinner on Tuesday nights and they had been allowed to go to a few parties and things had returned to normal. Polly even told them that she had started seeing a new guy who Abbey really liked and she seemed so happy, although Polly and Sam didn't think all that much of him from what they could gather and Adam and Kim started to breath a little easier. Perhaps it was just a one off rough patch?

Adam had already broken into the house by the time the paramedics pulled up. On the trip over he switched on his brain as he tried to get the sound of Polly's screams out of his mind and became Detective Ruzek. That's whom he needed to be when he found Abbey unconscious with an empty bottle of sleeping pills sitting on her cabinet beside the bed, her phone was clutched in her hand and the message to Polly was the last one she sent.

Checking if she was alive he breathed a sigh of relief when he found a weak pulse and although he couldn't wake her she did groan a little bit and he was just about to dial 911 again when he heard the sirens approaching. He stood aside and let the paramedics do their job then they loaded her up and he helped them down the stairs and promised to follow them to Chicago Med.

Before he left the house he used Abbey's phone to call her mother. "It's Adam Ruzek." he was still very much in cop mode and his voice was surprisingly calm. It was something he needed to learn how to do very early on in his job. You had to take emotion out of your voice and speak calmly and deliberately.

"What has she done now?" He could hear the exasperation in her mother's voice and that instantly got his back up. The few times Kim had tried to approach Janice about Abbey's behaviour back when it was really bad she had been shut down and Janice wrote it off an typical teenage melodramas and that Abbey was just being a pain in the ass.

He snapped, no longer able keep his voice even. "She's taken an overdose of sleeping pills and is on her way to Chicago Med."

"What? How?" That certainly got her mother's attention.

"She sent Polly a message. Lucky for you that she did." It was the one time Adam was grateful that Polly was glued to her phone and refused to turn it off at night. "I suggest you get your ass to Chicago Med. I will see you there."

"I am four hours away. It's late and I can't…." Was she seriously going to tell him that she wasn't going to make the trip? He would be halfway out the door by now if it were one of his kids. Hell, he had made the trip to Abbey's house in five minutes and broken every single road rule on the way.

"Start fucking driving then." He hung up and called her father and got a far more satisfactory response before jumping in this truck and following her to the hospital, praying the whole way that they hadn't been too late.

Quickly he sent Kim a message. _'I am on my way to Med, Abbey is already enroute, she's taken some pills, I don't know how many, she's not awake. I'll let you know how she is when I see her.'_ He didn't feel like talking right now knowing that Polly would be freaking out and he was sure she'd have a million questions that he couldn't answer for her. His own head was spinning so dealing with his hysterical daughter was beyond him at this point. It may have been gutless on his part but he knew Kim was with her and she was in the best hands possible and he needed to focus. He desperately tried to stay in cop mode because if he slipped into Dad mode he wouldn't be able to stop himself worrying about Polly and turning the car in the direction of home instead.

"Was that Dad?" Polly asked as soon as Kim replied to his message.

"It was sweetheart."

"Oh God, is Abbey…." Polly gasped.

"No, Abbey's on her way to the hospital." Kim pressed a kiss to her forehead before she could finish her question. "Your Dad is going with her."

"What did she do?"

"She took some pills sweetheart."

"Mom, I didn't know. I swear she never said anything." Kim started rocking Polly as she broke down again, she was desperately clutching handfuls of Kim's tank top and Kim wouldn't have been able to prise her off if she tried. "Is she going to be okay? She has to be okay."

"I don't know Polly, we just need to wait and see. She's in the best place and they will do everything they can and Dad will stay with her." Kim wanted to tell her that it was going to be okay but she learnt very early in her career when it came to life and death you can't promise something that you just didn't know. You could hope and pray all you like that things would work out the way you wanted them too but that didn't mean it would. She wasn't about to promise her daughter that her best friend was going to be okay because nobody knew if she would. Even if she made it through this night the road ahead wasn't going to be easy.

Of everything she knew about suicide attempts, those that told someone what they'd done were crying out for help. They didn't want to die but had no idea how to get out of the hole they were in; someone needed to save them. Abbey had reached out to Polly but this was just the beginning of a very long journey.

By the time Adam made it to Chicago Med they had taken Abbey through and were working on her. They were going to pump her stomach before taking her up to the ICU. The Doctor asked him a million questions, which he could not answer. He had no idea how many she had taken and the only useful piece of information he had was that she had sent Polly the message at 1245am and he was at her place by 1am. It was now almost 2am; although the paramedics had arrived within 15 minutes of Adam getting there so at best they could guess with how quickly the pills would work they estimated that she had taken them sometime after midnight and probably closer to 1230am.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"From the overdose, we are hopeful. We think we have caught it in time; there would still be a lot of undigested pills in her stomach so pumping that out will help. There are still a lot of unknowns though. It's too early to tell for sure how this will affect her, as you can imagine it is different for everyone. Any idea why?"

"Not really. A few months ago she went off the rails a bit but lately she's seemed pretty well back to normal." Adam shook his head. "Her mother is on her way, about four hours away though. Her Dad is in New York and he's trying to organise a flight, I am guessing he'll be here first thing. I can stay with her until then. She shouldn't be alone." He stayed with her while they pumped her stomach and even though Abbey wasn't conscious Adam held her hand and tried to talk to her the whole time. He would want someone to do this for Polly or Angus if they were in this situation, which he prayed they would never have to even contemplate.

He called Abbey's Dad and filled him in on her condition and the news from the Doctor. Murray had organised a flight from New York and should be in Chicago by eight. "Why would she do this?" He was at a loss. Every time he talked to Abbey lately she seemed happy and she was looking forward to coming to see him during the next break from school.

"I don't know Murray, I have no idea. A little while ago she went off the rails a bit but lately Polly tells me she was seeing this guy Jamie and everything seemed good with her."

"What do you mean went off the rails? First I've heard of it."

"I didn't realise you didn't know. There were just some incidents of her drinking heavily at parties." Adam wasn't sure how much he should be telling him, but then again this was Abbey's father and his daughter had just tried to end her life so he guessed that now wasn't the time to play politics or hide the truth, he didn't really care about shit like that. Abbey was going to need all the help she could get. "And there was some strange behaviour."

"What? What was she doing?"

"Polly saw her having sex with some guy she just met in a public restroom at Navy Pier."

"Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell? Nobody told me." Murray sounded as horrified as Adam would have if it were Polly. "Who is the guy?"

"I don't know Murray. We tried to talk to Abbey and help her but she insisted she was fine, we did our best and if we'd known she was feeling like this we would have done something. I don't know why they didn't tell you."

Murray couldn't understand why he didn't know about Abbey. Sure he had moved away when his marriage was finally over but they were on friendly terms and agreed that they would always put Abbey first. This wasn't putting her first. He knew that his ex-wife had been more interested in her own love life for a while and Abbey felt like a third wheel but Janice had no intention of letting Abbey move away but nor was she going to let her interfere with her life. She was his only child and he thought staying in Chicago with her friends and mother was the best thing for her.

Adam heard nothing from Janice other that a message to say she was on her way. When Adam sent one back to tell her that Abbey was stable he got nothing back and just assumed that she was out of range or driving? He had expected his phone to be lit up with messages from the girl's mother, the only ones lighting up his phone were the ones from his wife.

While they transferred Abbey he called Kim. It was a phone call he was dreading and Kim answered it within one ring. "How's Abbey?"

"They are just taking her up to ICU, she's in a coma. They've just pumped her stomach. She'd taken a bottle of pills. God Kim, how did this happen? How's Polly?" He was talking at a million miles an hour.

"She's just fallen asleep." When she had finally dozed off Kim quickly crept from the room and checked on Gus. He wasn't asleep and she assured him that Polly was fine. Kim had hoped that he might have been asleep and she wouldn't have to tell him about Abbey but he was wide-awake and more than a little stressed out. "Why did Dad leave? Is it Sam?"

"Sam is fine."

"Why is Polly screaming?" His voice was shaking just a little bit, he really didn't cope seeing Polly upset and it was a little jarring being woken up like that. For a few minutes it was like all hell had broken loose.

"Abbey's in some trouble and your Dad needs to help her. Try not to worry Gus, Polly is sleeping now, she's okay." Kim lay down with him for a little while and for once he didn't mind. She waited until he dozed off and crept from his room and back to Polly.

It wasn't unusual for Adam to have to leave in the middle of the night but the kids didn't really know about it until they got up in the morning but Polly's screaming and seeing his Dad push them and run from the house wasn't normal and he didn't like it. It didn't feel right and he had gone back to his room and lay awake tossing and turning until his Mom came in.

Adam sounded weary and Kim could tell just by listening to him how much this was hurting him. She also knew he would be thinking ' _what if this was Polly?'_ That thought had crossed her mind so many times in the last two hours. "I'm going to stay here until her Mom arrives. Murray gets in about 8." She wanted Adam here with her; he would stop her freaking out so the realisation that he wasn't coming home anytime soon was hard to swallow. She didn't want to think he was putting someone else above his family because that wasn't fair, what Adam was doing was exactly what she expected him to do.

"Where was Janice?"

"No idea, but she said she was about four hours away. So I'll be here a while. I want to make sure someone is here when she wakes up." Kim had to admire him for his willingness to be there for Abbey when she knew he wanted to be with Polly and she even knew he would be worrying about her and Angus too. At times like this he got very protective and territorial.

"What did you tell Murray?"

"The truth, what else could I do. He had no idea, none. I didn't realise that no one had told him about Abbey's behaviour but I guess it's no surprise. Abbey wouldn't talk about it and Janice just didn't seem to care." She could hear the frustration starting to creep in. Perhaps this could have all been avoided if Janice had accepted that Abbey had an issue and if Murray knew what was going on. "Anyway is Angus okay?" There was nothing they could do about that now.

"He is, I talked to him a little while ago and told him to come into our bed if he wants too. He's asleep right now." It was unlikely that he would though. "Adam, I love you."

"I love you too Darlin'. Hey cuddle and kiss my baby." He choked back a sob. This was way to close to home. "Tell her I love her so much and that I will be home to hug her soon."


	12. The Aftermath

Kim left Polly sleeping in their bed and headed downstairs when she heard Angus moving around. She slipped her arms around his neck as he was getting his breakfast. The boy had an appetite and Adam often bemoaned that he had hollow legs and was going to send him broke. Like right now he seemed to be having a bit of a growth spurt and was starting to fill out a little more, he was obviously going to be more Adam's build thankfully than hers. "Hey, Gus. You know we love you right?"

"Mom." He shrugged his shoulders trying to get her to let him go but Kim was hanging on tight, it wouldn't be long until she would need to stand on tiptoes to get her arms around his neck. She knew that while he appeared to hate it and get all squirmy and try and get away, if they hadn't hugged him for a while he would cuddle up to either of them for just a few minutes.

Angus had put his head down and tried hard to make it up to his parents. He knew he had let them down with his grades and they had employed Ava, Antonio's daughter to help him out a couple of hours a week. She was a teacher who was having a few years off while her children were young. When they threatened to take Baseball away from him if his grades didn't improve he finally got the hint and while he still wasn't setting the world on fire with his results he wasn't failing either and that's all Adam and Kim asked for.

"Just tell me that you know we love you and I will let go."

"Yes Mom, you and Dad tell us all the time. We get it." He did smile a little. "I love you too."

"Good boy." She let him go and moved towards the kettle so she could make herself a cup of coffee. She needed something to give her a jolt today because she was running on about three hours sleep. Apart from a few short naps she hadn't really settled back down and was on constant alert for either Polly, who was understandably restless or if Adam called her.

"Is Dad home?"

"Not yet. Gus, he is still with Abbey." Kim didn't know how much to tell him right now, they still didn't know if Abbey was going to make it. He knew something had happened, that Abbey was in trouble that much was obvious and she couldn't hide it from him. Adam had sent her a message about an hour ago saying there was no change and he hoping Abbey's Mom would get there soon. "She took some pills, Abbey took an overdose. Dad took her to the hospital and he is waiting with her until her Mom and Dad arrive." She spoke slowly and deliberately.

"Does she want to die?" He was a bit lost for words and it came out a little harsh. It was not what he expected, he just assumed that when his mom told him that she was in trouble it just meant that he'd had to go pick her up from a cop station somewhere or bail her out.

"I don't think so, that's why she sent Polly a message telling her what she had done. That was asking for help and we are going to help her."

"Okay." He didn't really understand what that meant.

"Polly is taking it really hard so I want you to be nice to her and maybe give her some space today."

Angus nodded as he finished pouring his milk on his cereal. "Sure. Pol's going to be okay though, right?"

"We will make sure."

"And Abbey?"

That was a whole other question. "I really hope so, there is something going on with Abbey that we don't know yet but now she will get the help she needs."

Kim heard Adam's truck pull into the garage and she went and met him at the door. He looked shattered as he pulled his wife into his arms who had burst into tears the moment she saw his face. "Hey Darlin'."

"How's Abbey?"

"Stable. Hopefully she'll wake up soon. She was starting to show some signs just before I left."

"How are you?"

"Tired and hungry and in desperate need to kiss you and hug my kids." He did kiss her softly and it was full of sadness and weariness. "How's Polly?"

"Still asleep in our bed. Go see her, I do believe she could do with a hug from her Dad right now."

"Where's Gus?"

"In the kitchen. He's okay, go and see Polly."

He stopped briefly and talked to Gus. The kid was smart enough to tell his Dad that he loved him and didn't try and shrug out of his hug either, the talk with his Mom had made him realise that it was what his parents needed to hear today.

The instant Adam sat on the edge of the bed Polly's eyes shot open and burst into tears as she flung herself at her Dad. He rubbed her back as he hugged her tightly and they stayed that way for a short while. "It's okay Sweetheart."

His heartbroken baby sobbing in his arms bought down his last wall and the tears ran unchecked down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Polly."

"Why? Why did she do this?"

Adam kept peppering her hair with kisses as if he was trying to absorb as much of his daughter's pain as he could. "I don't know Polly. Only Abbey knows but she was obviously struggling with something. Do you have any idea?"

"No." Adam had eased himself onto the bed and rested his back on the headboard and had Polly curled up into his side with her head resting on his chest as he held her, he started running his thumb back and forth over her forehead. He often did this to Kim when she was upset and Polly was just like her mother. Even as a baby it was one way that they could get her to sleep. "I think she broke up with Jamie or he stopped calling her or something but she said she was okay because she didn't like him all that much. I think she did though. Maybe that was it?"

"It probably didn't help things but I think there is something more going on."

"Like what?"

"I don't know sweetheart."

"Can I go see her?"

"A little later perhaps, we'll see how she is doing." Adam knew that she would want to see her best friend and while, until the dust settled a little he would have preferred her not to go into the hospital he really couldn't stop her. Polly was involved now, Abbey made sure of that by sending her that message and he had no idea how to deal with it or what the best thing to do was. He was flying blind and there was no manual on how to manage something this emotionally volatile. "Her Mom is with her right now and her Dad will be there soon. Abbey is not awake yet."

Polly was quiet but she wasn't letting go of her Dad and in the silence Adam dozed off. It had been a long night and he'd caught a few catnaps here and there. It wasn't the first time he'd slept in a chair beside a hospital bed but he did always hope it would be the last.

When he woke Polly wasn't with him anymore so he jumped in the shower, hoping against hope it would make him feel a little more human before heading back downstairs. Angus had already hightailed it out of there for the day, he had taken off to a mates place and Kim told him to be home for dinner by five. Angus didn't need to be around right now, he was happy to see his sister was okay and that his Dad was home and that was enough for him.

Adam squeezed Kim's shoulder and kissed Polly on the head as he passed by to make himself a cup of coffee. "You get some sleep?" Kim watched her husband as he nodded and mumbled something. He was tired and stressed, she liked that just by looking at him she could tell but she hated that he was feeling like this.

"Can you call the hospital?" Polly asked. She had begged Kim to call Abbey's Mom but Kim convinced her to wait until Adam was up. That hadn't impressed Polly and she had burst into tears again but Kim managed to calm her down. At one point she was demanding that Kim wake Adam up so that he could call. "Give him a chance Polly, he's been up all night. They will call if there is any change, so no news is good news." Kim had barely talked to Adam about anything and she was just as desperate as Polly to wake him up but he needed a few hours sleep at least. He didn't get that much; barely an hour but it had recharged his batteries a little. He had the ability to run on the smell of an oily rag for a few days but eventually he would crash and burn.

What he really wanted to do, sooner rather than later was sit down with Kim and talk about how they were going to manage this and what to do about Polly. This was far too big a deal to just try and wing it.

"Sure." He grabbed his phone and called. Polly was watching him like a hawk as he sipped his coffee and nodded a few times but not giving anything away. He asked a few questions but generally just listened.

"How's Abbey? Is she awake? Can I go see her?"

"She's awake, her Mom is with her and her Dad just arrived from New York. Let's give them some space for a bit and perhaps we will go in this afternoon if she is still doing okay." Polly looked like she was going to cry again and Adam came and pulled her head in to rest on his hip while he stroked her hair. "I know it's hard Sweetheart but I think we need to let her parents be with her for a while. She is still not well but all the signs are positive. Why don't you go have a shower?" She was still sitting in her pyjamas and in front of her was a half eaten piece of toast and a cold cup of tea and she bit her bottom lip and nodded sadly desperately willing herself not to let the next round of tears fall.

Reluctantly Polly headed upstairs and Adam sat down heavily at the table and patted his knee for Kim to come and sit in his lap. He buried his head into her chest. "Talk to me Adam."

He breathed out slowly as Kim ran one hand through his hair. "I kept thinking this could be my Baby Girl."

"But it wasn't."

"I know."

"I thought Abbey was doing better, I thought that whole sex thing was a one off thing. I feel like we missed something." Adam couldn't shake this and he was stewing over it. Kim knew he would have been awake half the night turning things over and over in his head during those dark lonely hours he sat beside her bed and eventually he would tell her what he was thinking. It was how he coped with stressful situations and while it frustrated Kim sometimes she couldn't rush him, he'd clue her in when he was ready.

"I don't think we did, honestly I have thought about nothing else. Polly says the boyfriend has stopped calling her, maybe that's it."

"That's not it. You know that Kim, it may have been the trigger but something else caused this to happen."

"That's what scares me."

"Do you think Polly knows?"

"I don't, she seems really confused. I am worried that she will start blaming herself though." Kim honestly didn't think Polly had any idea. She kept talking about Abbey splitting up with Jamie and how Abbey was more upset than she let on. Whether Polly was just trying to convince herself that that was the reason Kim had no idea.

"Why?" Kim moved off his lap and started fixing him something for breakfast. Adam leant back in the chair, folded his arms behind his head and watched her move around the kitchen, trying to gauge her mood. When Kim was worried it came across in her willingness to 'take care' of them. She would become the mother hen when things stressed her out, she would worry about everyone else, making sure they were eating and sleeping and had everything they wanted without stopping and taking care of herself too.

So Adam would withdraw and Kim would fuss over everyone else, they were quite the pair but it worked for them. Sure, it was never anything this tumultuous but they would figure it out together.

"Oh I don't know." Kim tried to dismiss the conversation with a hand wave but Adam was having none of it. "A few weeks ago she told me that she was worried that Abbey was jealous of how much time she was spending with Sam and that Abbey thought that Polly had dumped her."

"Great." The thought that Polly may feel guilty did not fill him with any peace and Kim heard him sigh.

"Then she met the boyfriend, Jamie and Polly said she was much happier. I don't know Adam, I am just trying to piece it all together." He jumped up from the table and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Me too." He kissed her neck. "You and me, we've got this, together."

"What about Sam?"

"What about him?" Adam hadn't really given him much thought. "You don't think he's got anything to do with it do you? I mean I know Polly thought that Abbey was keen on Sam but that was ages ago and they all seemed to get along. I never got the sense that Abbey was jealous of Polly and Sam." Despite what Kim told him about her conversation with Polly Adam had never got any bad hits off it with regards to what was going on between them and their friends. Polly always seemed happy. Nobody ever talked about any jealousy, Polly still spoke to Abbey everyday and they always had a good time when they were together. Then again he was male as Kim often pointed out with regards to his understanding of Polly and her emotions.

Surely he wouldn't have missed this though. He'd known the moment things started going pear shaped with Abbey because of how it affected Polly and lately she'd been back to her usual self. She wasn't good at hiding what was going on because, like her mother she wore her heart on her sleeve.

"Oh I don't know. I'd hope not, but you know that her feelings can change with the wind." That was something that they had become very aware of as Polly's hormones started to wreck havoc on their household when she was thirteen. It had been a few years of hell but they felt they were definitely in calmer waters now. Well until an Abbey shaped iceberg threatened to sink them.

"So do we let Polly see Abbey?" Kim handed him a plate of scrambled eggs on toast.

"I'd love to say no but I don't think we can keep them away from each other. Abbey dragged Polly into this and I am worried if we try and stop Polly seeing her that will just make things worse."

"I agree. If this boyfriend breaking up with her was the catalyst suddenly pulling Polly away from her may do more harm than good."

"For Abbey yes."

"What do you mean by that?"

"For Abbey keeping Polly away from her may not be the best move however…" Adam exhaled slowly. "….Kim my main concern has to be Polly, she's our daughter. I worry about Polly and how she is going to cope with it. I worry if somehow Abbey blames Polly, whether it's because of Sam or some other reason what that would do to her."

"We just need to stick close to her"

"Like glue." He tucked into his breakfast as his stomach started to grumble loudly. Kim wrapped her arms around his neck for a minute tyring to absorb some of his strength and his heartache.

"Did Janice have any ideas?"

Adam shot Kim a strange look. "Ah, I may have gone a little hard at Janice."

"Adam." She sighed.

It wasn't the most pleasant of exchanges. Adam had called her at 130am and she said she was fours hours away so he was expecting her by six or seven at the latest so when she rocked in at eight carrying a bag of food and a coffee Adam lost his shit. He was tired, his back and neck were killing him because he'd sat beside Abbey's bed all night.

"Oh, I didn't expect anyone to be here. You should have gone home."

"And leave Abbey alone?"

"She's sleeping."

"She's not just sleeping she's unconscious. Nice to see you had time to stop and get something to eat."

"I stopped by home and had a shower. I'd been driving for four hours."

"You went home? How fucking nice for you, you know I'd like to be at home with my family, with my daughter who by the way is fucking hysterical ever since your daughter sent her a fucking suicide message at 1230 this morning." If he could have slipped another 'fuck' in there he would have. He was honestly too tired to care.

"What did she say?"

"What does it matter?" he couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. "Abbey needed help and we helped her. You are her mother; start acting like one. Why are you not out of your fucking mind?" he tapped his temple with one finger.

"This is what she does, she just wants attention."

"Well she's got my attention, she got my attention when she swallowed a bottle of pills and then sent a message to my daughter." Adam grabbed his jacket. "By the way Murray is on his way."

"Why?"

"Ah, because his daughter tried to kill herself and because I told him how Abbey had been acting weird, drinking and screwing around. He's pretty pissed." He noticed the flash of anger in Janice's eyes. "I guess he thinks he deserved to know Abbey was running off the rails."

"Well thanks for that. I think you are being little dramatic, Abbey didn't try and kill herself, and she's just acting out. She just wants to go live in New York and thinks this will get her there."

Adam came and stood inches from Janice's face and even he could feel the anger peeling off him in waves. "She swallowed a whole bottle of pills, trust me another half hour and you'd be planning a funeral. Get your head out of your ass and be a god damn fucking mother to your child."

Kim rubbed his back as he told her what happened. Adam couldn't understand why Janice was so blasé about it. He was out of his mind and even then it was nothing compared to what he would have been had it been either Polly or Angus lying in that bed. He'd never disliked the woman until today. Sure she hadn't been a greatest Mom to Abbey lately but compared to some of the mother's he'd seen she wasn't the worst. A part of him was hoping it was just shock and at some point her maternal instincts would kick in. Kim would have been an inconsolable mess and eating or showering would have been the last thing on her mind. Just breathing would have been a struggle for Kim.

The first thing Polly did when she went up to her room was call Sam and as soon as she heard his voice she burst into tears. "Polly?"

He could barely make out what she was saying "Abbey…oh god…she tried to kill herself."

"Polly, what happened?"

Gradually her voice started to even out and she was able to explain to him what was going on as far as she knew it, which wasn't a lot. Not that she thought her parents were keeping things from her, they had seemed pretty honest and up front and she could generally tell if they were trying to hide things from them because of the way they looked at each other. They had done none of that this morning. All she wanted to do was see Abbey.

When Kim went to check on Polly she could hear her on the phone. She tried not to listen but it was hard. Every little thing with Polly was going to have her on edge at the moment, she did not want to be blindsided by Polly crashing and burning.

"I am going to see her later I hope. My Dad said he would take me in." Kim leant on the wall just outside her door just for a few minutes, just to satisfy the mother in her that Polly was okay. She mumbled a few responses to the other person. "Are you still coming for dinner?" Kim wasn't surprised that she was talking to Sam. He was now a regular visitor to Sunday night dinners and they were certainly really enjoying spending time together. They could both see how close they were getting although she wasn't sure how serious they were yet. "Of course I want you to come. I think I'd really like a hug from you."

A small sob caught in Kim's throat when Polly started crying again.

Her baby girl was growing up and falling in love and seeking comfort from others. It was a bittersweet pill to swallow right now.


	13. Brave Hearts

**_Well everybody's got a secret, son_** ** _  
_** ** _Something that they just can't face_** ** _  
_** ** _Some folks spend their whole lives trying to keep it_** ** _  
_** ** _They carry it with them every step that they take – Darkness on the Edge of Town, Bruce Springsteen_**

Adam picked up the phone on his desk on the third ring and spoke without paying much attention to who was calling.

"Ruzek, you have a visitor. Says his name is Murray Winter and he knows you. Want come and get him?" The relief Desk Sergeant sounded a little annoyed but the foyer had been crawling with half of Chicago when he had come through this morning and it wasn't getting any better. Adam knew Sgt Bell quite well; he was filling in for Kim today who had taken the day off to stay home with Polly. Usually he would have just bought him up but today was anything but usual.

They had decided to keep Polly home from school for the day and Kim refused to leave her at home alone. Visiting Abbey the previous afternoon had really knocked her for six and Polly didn't think she could cope with all the questions at school just yet and both Adam and Kim were conscious of the stress that would put her under. Literally every time Abbey's name came up she would start crying. It had been harrowing watching the two girls sobbing in each other's arms. Polly was in tears from the moment she stepped out of the elevator on Abbey's floor.

Abbey burst into tears as soon as Polly appeared at her door and she dashed into the room and enveloped her best friend in the biggest of hugs. "I'm sorry Polly."

"I'm glad you sent me that message. I am glad my Dad saved you."

"He is a Super Hero I guess." Abbey chuckled through her tears, she hadn't forgotten that day at Navy Pier.

"He is today." Neither had Polly but today she would have argued with anyone who said otherwise. Her Dad had been her hero all day. He'd been with her every time she cried, every time she had a question he was there and it was precisely what they both needed.

It took a little coaxing to get Murray to leave them to talk alone and there was some kind of hope that maybe Abbey would open up to Polly a little because so far she was giving her parents nothing. Adam wasn't sure if that was a good thing, could Polly cope with having that burden on her? Wasn't the burden of last night enough for a 17 year old? On the other hand Abbey couldn't get the help she needed until they knew why she was in this position. He was second-guessing every single decision he made right now.

Kim took Murray downstairs to the cafeteria to get a coffee because he hadn't left Abbey's bedside all day while Adam sat outside the room. Neither of them wanted to be too far away from Polly right now. They promised to stick to her like glue and that's what they were doing. If and when she stumbled they wanted to make sure someone was there to catch her. Janice had left as soon as she saw Adam arrive, she was still pissed about this morning and Murray had also torn strips off her when he arrived. "Why is everyone blaming me?"

"Maybe if you'd told me Abbey was having issues I could have helped before it got to this?"

"This is a temper tantrum."

"I'll give you a fucking temper tantrum." Murray snapped. They both sat with Abbey and ignored each other for the rest of the day. It may have once been an amicable separation but suddenly he wasn't feeling quite so pleasant, he should have known what was going on. He had a right to know and not hear it in the middle of the night once the damage had been done and he certainly shouldn't have heard it from the father of the girl his own daughter sent her suicide note to.

They finally dragged Polly away an hour later although she would have stayed all night given half the chance. Abbey had dozed off a few times and there was nothing to be gained from staying. Abbey needed to rest and spend time with her family. There were still a lot of issues to work through and right now they had more questions than answers, this happened for a reason, if only they knew what it was.

"Did Abbey say anything?" Adam was surprised when Polly slipped her hand in his as they walked back to their car. It had been a long time since his girl had held his hand in public but he wasn't going to complain or even pass comment. Kim was on his other side and she squeezed his hand lightly letting him know she had seen it too.

"Just that she was sorry for causing all the trouble. I asked her about Jamie and she didn't say much, just that he was gone. She wouldn't tell me why but she did say that if I knew the truth I'd hate her."

"What do you think she means?"

"I don't know. I told her I would never hate her but that's all she said." Adam and Kim glanced at each other and certainly later that night once they were alone it was something they were keen to discuss, they didn't like where this was heading.

Sam came over for dinner and Adam had a quiet word to him about what happened and his take on it all. Apart from not really liking Jamie he didn't have much to add. Sam didn't think that Polly and Abbey were having any issues and he also didn't think that Abbey was weird with him either. He promised to let them know if Polly told him anything that would shed some light on what had gone down but Polly told him nothing, even when he pushed her. And he pushed her a lot further than her parents had, perhaps a little too far and eventually she snapped at him and told him to back off.

Somewhere there was a trigger and so far only Abbey knew what it was and they could speculate all they liked. It got them nowhere until Abbey was ready to face it.

Kim was sitting cross-legged on the bed massaging some hand cream into her hands and arms while she waited for Adam to come out of their bathroom. "What do you think?"

"I think we are not going to like what's going on." He leant on the doorframe as he brushed his teeth.

"That's my fear."

"We can't jump to conclusions though. Perhaps it's as simple as Janice and Abbey butting heads. Lord knows I butted heads with my Mom often enough and you and Polly had some moments."

"Not that bad though." She was now working the cream into her legs. Adam certainly appreciated the show and he tried to focus on that for a moment because his head was going at a million miles an hour.

"No, but everyone handles things differently." He disappeared into the bathroom and Kim could hear him rinsing out his mouth. Flicking off the bathroom light he knelt on the bed and kissed each of Kim's knees before dropping one on her mouth and climbing under the covers. "Let's see what happens."

"Are you not worried?"

"Yes I am, but right now we don't know anything and can't do anything and I am tired." Kim knew he was right, there was nothing to be gained by them sitting up half the night talking about something they had no answers for. Adam was already dozing off when Kim snuggled in beside him and turned off the light. Tomorrow was a whole new day and a whole new battle and they needed their rest.

That morning, Adam found the missing piece and he felt his heart break in two and his anger bubble up inside him like bile. He jogged down the stairs and bought Abbey's father up. He looked beyond pissed and Adam showed him through to the break room to give them some privacy.

Murray declined Adam's offer for a coffee and then it all just exploded out of him like lava. "I want to kill him. Do you know this fucking bastard, Simon?"

Adam's stomach fell through the floor. "What did he do?" He asked but he feared that he already knew.

"He raped my daughter." Murray completely lost it, he slammed both his hands onto the table making the coffee mugs shake before he fell into the chair. "My girl, he raped my girl, not once but for months, he didn't stop. He did this."

Adam stood and stared at him momentarily, unable to move. "Murray, I had no idea. I swear to god, I would have done something, anything." Murray sobbed into his hands and Adam started pacing around the small room, suddenly feeling caged in. "Does Janice know where he is?"

"I don't know. He didn't come back with her and she's just a hysterical wreck, she's blaming Abbey for all this." Adam had been a little surprised that Simon didn't come into the hospital with Janice but he was too worked up about her attitude to care. "Probably because he knew it was going to come out and everyone would know what a fucking sick depraved asshole he is. I want you to find this son of a bitch and let me at him. I'll fucking kill him."

"Trust me I will find him and he won't get away with this, I promise you." Adam was trying to stay in his cop brain when the father in him just wanted to explode. It would be easy to go off the deep end and for the moment that wasn't going to get him anywhere. He knew, that right now Murray needed him to be professional. "What did Abbey tell you?"

"I believe her. She's not lying." He looked like he was about to explode.

He pulled up a chair and sat facing Murray, resting one hand on his shoulder. "I know, Murray. I am not saying that Abbey is making any of this up, I believe you. I believe Abbey."

"Can you help?"

"Yes. I will help, we will." He pointed vaguely in the direction of the bullpen. "We will sort it I promise you that. This is what I do; I don't let fuckers like this get away. Now, first things first. I am going to need to talk to Abbey."

"Why? I can tell you exactly what that fucking bastard did." Every single word of Abbey's desperate confession was burned into his brain. He had been sitting alone with her and Abbey had been quiet for a while, they hadn't got much out of her and the hospital counsellor encouraged them to just let it come out in time. Eventually Abbey would start to talk they just had to be there for her and when she felt safe that was when they could start to push her to open up. She started speaking without even opening her eyes. If she did; if she had looked at her Dad her courage would have failed. "Dad, I'm sorry I didn't know what to do." She had suddenly cried and the rest just followed, horrifying Murray more and more with every word.

"I know but we need to hear it from Abbey." Adam took out his note pad and took some notes from Murray, just for comparison and to make sure they did not miss anything. "I will get Sarah to talk to her. I am guessing she won't want to talk to me and might feel more comfortable with a female cop?" Sarah was the Intelligence Unit's female detective. She had worked with them for almost five years now and was rock solid. Sarah was fierce and smart and unrelenting and Adam in the heat of the battle he trusted her with his life.

"No, she wants to talk to you. She asked for you." Abbey had been adamant on that, she only wanted to see Adam. He was the only man she trusted right now, everyone else would let her down. It had killed Murray to hear her say that. He hated to think that she felt that he'd let her down by not being there to protect her. When Abbey had screamed that at him it had shattered his heart. No father wants to think that they let their child down. If only he'd known she was having problems, he would have been on the next plane.

Adam explained that he would need Sarah with him anyway so that they could make sure this case was watertight. Murray looked concerned but he reassured him it was for the best, that he had done this before and that Sarah was just there as back up. He was doing this by the book.

"Okay. Let's go then." He jumped up. The sooner he got this down the quicker he could get this monster arrested and downstairs in the cage. He was going to have a little chat to Simon.

Janice was apparently still being unreasonable and had been taken home by her sister and sedated. Abbey didn't want her around when she talked to the Police, she refused to talk to her Mom about it. She blamed her mother because she had bought this man into her life and Abbey had never liked him but it didn't make any difference to Janice. Initially Janice had denied it, told Abbey not to lie and that she was being cruel to her. Gradually as Janice's shock wore off she completely broke down and that was upsetting Abbey even more. Their relationship had been teetering on the edge for years and this was probably the final straw.

"I'm sorry Adam." Abbey sobbed as soon as she saw him. He'd introduced her to Sarah and explained why she was there, that it was for Abbey's protection and well-being. Sarah spoke to her quietly. "I'm just going to be over here." She pointed to the corner. "If you need me just say the word. Adam and I are going to help you and whatever you want to tell him that's okay." She sat in the corner, listening and taking notes so that Adam could give her all the attention she needed.

Adam touched her cheek and made Abbey look at him "Hey Abbey, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault. None of it, okay?"

"I am sorry I dragged Polly into it."

"Polly loves you Abbey and she just wants you to get better and she wants to help you, she always has. Just like Kim and I want to help you." He spoke to her gently.

"I didn't know what to do."

"I know, but now you do. This is the first step; you've taken the first step to putting this behind you. It's not going to be easy but we can stop this; we can stop this happening to anyone else and more importantly than that I am going to stop this happening to you. I promise."

Abbey sat with her hands clenched tightly in her lap, the IV drip still in her left hand and she was pale and shaking as she nodded at Adam and started to talk. "I was too scared to say no."

"When did it start?" Abbey could tell him the exact time and date. It would be forever burned into her soul, the day her life changed forever.

"Just after he moved he would say some things but I just ignored him. He came into the bathroom once when I was in the shower, he pretended it was an accident but he didn't leave right away and just watched me. Then there were a few times that he would brush up against me, that's how it started." Adam handed her a tissue to wipe away her tears.

"One night Mom was out and he came into my room and I tried to say no but he didn't stop and then he said if I told anyone no one would believe me, people would hate me and my Mom would kick me out of the house." It was breaking Adam's heart listening to Abbey, he had heard some horrific things in his time and dealt with some galling cases of child abuse, rape and sodomy but this was cutting him to the bone.

"Did he force you to have sex with him?" Adam hated having to ask. He was trying his best to switch off the part of his brain that was telling him that this was his daughter's best friend and put some emotional distance between them when all he wanted to do was gather her up in his arms and promise her that it would be okay. Being a cop and a human being was hard right now, but worse than that he was struggling because he was a father to a girl the same age as the one lying in this bed recovering from a suicide attempt all because she'd been sexually abused and didn't know what to do about it.

She dropped her head and nodded sadly.

"I need you to say it Abbey."

"Yes, we had sex."

"Anything else?" Abbey looked at him a bit confused. "Did he make you do anything else?"

"He would hold my hair and put his dick in my mouth, it hurt and would shove it further in and make me gag. I bit him once and he hit me so hard and pulled some of my hair out, so I would just do what he wanted." She picked at the corner of the sticky plaster on her hand holding in her IV.

The thought of it made him sick and he felt his stomach lurch and swallowed hard to stop himself from vomiting. "Anything else?" He asked her if Simon had forced her into anything else, either physically or if he exploited her in any other way and she said no. "How many times did he rape you?"

"I don't know, it lasted a few months. Mom had her girl's night out every month and I tried to get out of staying at home but I couldn't, he'd just wait for me to come home. I started coming home later and later and Mom stopped me from going out. She made me stay there with him. He'd wait until she left and in the end I just gave up fighting it to get it over with."

"Abbey you know this isn't about having sex, he raped you." Adam also asked Abbey if her mother knew anything but Abbey shook her head, she was pretty sure she didn't. He really hoped that was the case because if he found out she had ignored this or let it continue he wouldn't quite know how he was going to control himself. If Janice had any idea this was going on and had ignored it she'd be lucky to be breathing fresh air again.

"Has it stopped now?"

"Yes a few months ago when he found out that I was having sex with other people. When Kim told Mom about the Navy Pier thing she must of told him and he lost it and he started telling me that I was a slut now, that I was damaged goods and that no one would want a liar like me and to keep my mouth shut." Adam noticed that Abbey couldn't even say his name and at some point she needed to. "He sent me text messages all the time." Adam told her that he would need to see those messages.

"I deleted them, I didn't want anyone to see them."

"That's okay Abbey. We can look into that." She started crying again and Adam assured her that nobody would see them unless it was necessary. He wouldn't let her parents see them if he could possibly help it. The only way those messages would see the light of day was if Simon denied the accusations and Intelligence would make damn sure that wouldn't happen.

When Abbey started telling him about the Navy Pier incident the timeline was starting to fall into place; she was starting to lash out against the abuse in the only way she knew how, by misbehaving and Simon basically stopped abusing her when he found out she was sleeping around so Abbey took that as a sign that she could stop it by continuing to behave the way she did. Begging him to stop hadn't worked, this did. The guy at the navy pier wasn't the only one; she'd admitted that there had been five or six others.

This was getting worse although Adam could now piece together precisely why Abbey was lying in her bedroom alone at night having swallowed a bottle of pills. "You are not a liar, or damaged goods or a slut. You are a beautiful girl who has gone through hell and you were alone and trying to figure it out how to stop it by yourself but not anymore Abbey. This is not your fault, you are beautiful and funny and we love having in our life. I want to see that girl come back and we'll help you get there, I promise."

"I told Jamie and he stopped calling. He said he would tell Jamie that I started it, that it was me who begged him for sex so I thought I would tell him and he would help me but he didn't."

Adam didn't think his heart could break anymore for her but it did. "Oh Sweetheart, that must have hurt. Is that why you took those pills?"

"Yes." She talked to Adam for a while longer, giving him some details about times and places and things that Simon said to her along the way. He asked again about her mother but Abbey was adamant that she didn't know. Adam wasn't sure whether that was the honest truth or that Abbey needed to believe that her mother wouldn't abandon her like that.

"Okay. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Can you tell Polly I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt her or get her into trouble, she's my best friend and you and Mrs R have been amazing. Polly didn't leave me and I was horrible to her some days, I was a terrible friend. I love Polly so much." She sounded so broken "I love being part of your family."

Adam leant in and hugged her. "We love you Abbey, we really do and you are part of our family, you will always be part of our family. Nothing has changed. I wish I'd known."

"Are you going to tell Polly what happened?"

"Do you want me to?" He felt her nodding slightly against his chest but she made him promise to make sure Polly knew it wasn't her fault and that she was okay. She wanted Adam to tell Polly but she didn't want her to know the details, just that Simon had abused her. Telling Jamie and seeing him turn away from her was the straw that broke the camel's back and she couldn't bare to think what would happen if Polly did the same. "Abbey I have to ask, you need to tell me who did this to you."

"I told you."

"No Abbey, you haven't said his name. I need you to tell me his name."

"Simon Reynolds" she sobbed her heart out in his arms. "My Mom's boyfriend."

Kim knew something was up with Adam from the moment he got home. He was quiet and moody and even when Polly tried to talk to him he was short with her. He wanted to talk to Kim before he could even contemplate talking to Polly. He needed time to get his bearings and had struggled all afternoon to figure it out and make sure that Intelligence had all the details before Jay made him take a step back and leave them to it. He needed to go home and be with his family. Breaking it to Kim was the first thing he had to do.

"Adam, what's wrong? You are freaking me out." He dragged her upstairs and made her sit on the bed while he paced back and forth in front of her. He was so agitated all of a sudden.

"I talked to Abbey today. She gave a statement."

"About what?" The look on his face gave away everything and Kim already knew that al their fears had become a reality. They hadn't specifically said it to each other but they knew what they were both thinking. "Adam, please no." she started shaking.

"I'm sorry Darlin'." He crouched down in front of her. "Simon has been abusing Abbey."

Kim was shaking her head wildly. "No, No No" she pushed him away.

"Kim. Simon was raping her, he was sexually abusing her for months."

"Oh God. I can't believe this, No Adam please don't." Kim covered her face with her hands and Adam sat beside her and let her fall against him and cry. "Oh Abbey."

Adam had also tried to talk to Abbey's mother. Janice was no help, she was hysterical and claimed she knew nothing. "Are you happy now?" she screamed at him as soon as they arrived at the house so Adam stepped back and let Sarah take the lead. When they asked her why Simon didn't come back with her last night she gave some lame excuse that he said they had paid for the weekend and it would have been a waste of money. When she had called him after Abbey admitted to the abuse he had switched off his phone but she did scream into the phone that she knew what he'd done. It was obvious to Adam and Sarah that he was on the run but they would find him, he would hunt him down like the animal he was. No way was this piece of shit getting away with it.

They took their computers in for forensic analysis. People like Simon learnt quickly how to cover their tracks to satisfy lay people, like wives, girlfriends and parents but very rarely did they have the knowledge to hide from forensic police.

Kim found her voice again. "Tell me you've got him?"

"Not yet. Jay sent me home but we are closing in on him. He's on the run. We will find him Darlin'. You know we will."

Adam explained to Kim the whole story as far as it stood right now and the look of torture on her face killed him. "Darlin' Abbey wants us to talk to Polly."

"I don't know Adam, does she need to know?"

"You know she does. If we are going to help Abbey we can't hide this from Polly. And we are going to help Abbey through this. We've got no choice." She loved this determined side of Adam.

"It's going to devastate her. I hate to think what this is going to do to Polly." Kim knew that sounded selfish, they should be worried about Abbey but all she could think of was her daughter.

"Don't you think I want to protect Polly from this, she's my baby girl." He snapped. The stress finally getting to him and he hunched over and let out an unexpected sob. "I'm trying." It was Kim's turn to hold onto her husband while he cried.

Again they sent Angus to his room. Adam promised Kim that he would spend some time with Gus on the weekend because he had been shoved aside a little bit the last few days. Adam had tried really hard to be around lately especially since Gus failed those exams. His claim that Adam didn't care rattled him a little bit and he did his best to show him that he did care and always knew what was going on. It would be good for both of them to get away for a bit and be boys. Angus loved his 'man dates' with his dad.

Kim sat next to Polly on the sofa, holding her hand while Adam perched on the coffee table in front of his daughter. She knew something was up from the moment they had called her downstairs and the way they looked at her and each other.

Adam started quietly. "Polly, sweetheart we love you so much. You are our whole world, both you and Angus, okay?"

She just nodded, swallowing hard as she started shaking.

"I talked to Abbey today and she told me some things. She talked to me about why she took those pills. Polly it's not good."

"Why?"

"Ummm.." he looked at Kim who just nodded and squeezed Polly's hand even harder. "Sweetheart Simon was abusing Abbey."

"No, I didn't see any bruises. Where did he hit her?" Adam glanced at Kim and they hated that they were about to shatter her innocence.

"Sweet Pea I'm sorry, he didn't hit her. He raped her. Simon forced Abbey to have sex with him."

"No, you're lying." She lashed out at her father and Adam was stunned when she slapped him across the face, the stinging crack of her hand on his cheek shocked them both. He grabbed her hand and didn't let go as she swung for him again. This was killing him, seeing the look of absolute horror on his daughter's face and it made him hate this guy more than he thought was possible.

"I'm sorry Polly."

Polly turned to her mother. "He's lying, why is he lying to me?" she wailed.

"Oh Polly, Dad's not lying to you. I'm sorry but Abbey was being sexually abused by Simon. It had been happening for quite a while and that's why Abbey was acting the way she was. She was hurt and scared and confused."

"Why didn't you do something?" she yelled at her Dad reefing her hand away from him and he was stunned to see the hate spill from her eyes.

"I didn't know Polly. If I had known believe me I would have done something. I would have stopped it."

Polly turned back to her mother and her gut-wrenching scream was soul shattering and Kim did her best to comfort her. When Adam leant forward and placed his hand on her back she baulked and pulled herself away from him and towards Kim. She was blaming Adam and it was like he was being stabbed in the heart. He just sat and watched them for a while; Polly didn't want anything to do with him. He asked her if she had any questions but she just ignored him. Adam he kept his hand on Kim's leg to steady himself as his daughter cried in her mother's arms.

Standing up he kissed Kim's temple and then Polly's head that was cradled in Kim's arms and told Polly he loved her and left them alone. It killed him to walk out of that room thinking that his daughter was piling this on him but she was angry at the world and she had to take it out on someone and it wasn't surprising that it was the person who had just shattered her heart. He just hated it.

He called Halstead to find out if they had anything yet. "No, not yet. Nothing solid anyway but we are getting closer. The idiot just used his credit card at a gas station just outside Fargo, North Dakota. I'd say he's heading for the border. We'll get him. Hey, how's Polly." Jay had argued with Adam when he sent him home, he didn't want to leave and Jay reminded him that he had more important things to worry about right now, he had Polly. They would handle the hunt for Simon and he promised he would keep him in the loop.

"Ahhh, Polly hates me right now."

"You, why?"

"I guess I was just in the firing line, she slapped me and she packs a punch I can tell you." He could still feel the slight burn on his skin. "Hardest thing I've ever done man. It hurt like all shit. My sweet innocent little girl has been through a lot lately and I think I've realised that as much as I want to protect her from all the shit in the world I can't, it just finds you."

"Hug my angel." Jay had always called Polly his angel. It was hard to imagine her dealing with this when he always remembered that first night he babysat her when she was just a tiny baby and she feel asleep on his chest, she was so sweet and innocent and pure. It had melted his heart and he still had that photo. He had his three boys but no daughter's so Polly had always held a special place in his heart.

"If she lets me anywhere near her." He lamented. This was not what he expected.

"She loves you man, you know that."

"I think we are on the edge. It could go either way."

 _ **A/N: This was not an easy chapter to write. I was inspired to write this story when I heard a radio interview with a mother talking about the Brave hearts organisation. .**_

 _ **I hope you are not to disappointed about where this story has gone...**_


	14. Cut It Loose

Kim had no idea what time it was when Adam finally came to bed but she figured it was well after midnight. As she felt him settle in and drape one arm over her waist she could feel the tension still coursing through him. By sleeping next to the same man for twenty years she could judge his mood by his body language, even in the dark.

"Did you talk to Polly?" Kim knew that was what Adam was waiting up for.

"No." it hadn't been the most pleasant of evenings and that was to be expected but Polly was lashing out and Adam had been in the firing line from the start. He copped it on the chin for the most part but he had hoped, and waited for her to crawl into him arms at some point and need his reassurance. It never came.

She did come down at some point for a glass of water. "Hey Polly. You okay?" she just ignored him and headed into the kitchen. Adam came and leant on the doorframe and watched her for a moment. "You know I love you and I am here to help you, whatever you need right?"

"Sure." She muttered, filling her glass again and pushing past him on the way back upstairs. He reached out to grab her hand but she flinched at the barest of touches.

"Polly." He knew he sounded desperate.

"I'm tired." She didn't even call him Dad, she didn't look at him like she hadn't looked at him all night and he got no kiss when she went to bed earlier. He knew she was heartbroken and confused and that she was angry at the world but he hated that she was angry with him.

Kim rolled over and Adam instantly shifted so that she could use his shoulder as a pillow. One thing she could also tell by the way he pressed his lips against her head and then turned his head away on the pillow that he wasn't up for talking.

He was gone before Kim woke. She felt him get up and then the kiss to her forehead, like he always did if he let early. Kim figured he was going to the gym as he didn't have a shower before heading into the District no doubt to find out what was going on in the hunt for Simon. He tossed and turned for the few hours he was actually in bed, churning through every single moment in his mind. He was also avoiding Polly, he was struggling with the fact he couldn't help her, that he didn't have any answers for her and she was obviously pushing him away.

"Where's Dad?" Gus had asked when Kim came down. Polly was sitting at the table with a cup of tea but she was just staring at it. They were struggling to get her to eat anything the last few days, in that regards she took after Kim but she had hardly any meat on her bones as it was and this latest development certainly wasn't going to help.

"He's gone into work."

"Because of the Abbey thing?" Kim and Adam had explained to Gus last night what was going on and what it meant for them over the next few days. Adam also promised him again that they would spend some time together on the weekend and he could choose something for them to do. Polly's head snapped up with Gus's question and she waited for her mother to answer.

"Yes."

"Have they caught him yet?" he asked.

"I don't know. I know they will though." Kim came and stood beside Polly and brushed her hair back from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. "Why don't you call your Dad? He'd love to hear from you."

"Can I go and see Abbey today?" She completely ignored her mother's question.

"You need to talk to your Dad and see what he says. He'll be seeing Abbey this morning." By the look on Polly's face Kim knew that she was not helping this situation between her and Adam. Knowing that Adam was going to see Abbey again and had already seen her made Polly angry. She wanted to go in last night when she found out. Once she had started to calm down and Adam came back from talking to Jay she had asked her mother if she would take her to see Abbey. "Not right now Polly." Adam had jumped in, which did nothing to help the situation.

"You've seen her? She's my friend." Polly had yelled at him.

"Polly, I know she is your friend but it's late and Abbey needs to rest. It was a very tough day for her."

It had gone down like a lead balloon last night and this morning wasn't much better.

"I want to see her. If you won't take me I will go myself." She pushed her chair back angrily and stormed from the kitchen. Kim sighed and waited just a moment before following her. Not before giving Angus a quick hug on the way past.

"Polly, I know you are angry and upset."

"I want to see Abbey. Why is Dad stopping me? Why won't he listen to what I want?" Since when had this all become about Adam and what he was doing wrong? Kim didn't understand it.

"He is not stopping you, give him a chance. Things are a little bit up in the air with regards to Abbey and they are working through some things with her Doctors. Abbey is still recovering from the other night and the pills and dealing with everything that happened yesterday. He's trying to do what is best for everybody, including you."

"I don't care about me. You need to call Dad and tell him." She spat at Kim. The level of bitterness she had in her voice regarding Adam was shocking.

"Excuse me." It probably wasn't wise to bite back at her but Kim wasn't standing for this attitude she was spewing out. "Care to explain to me why you are taking this out on your Dad."

"It's his job to serve and protect, that's what he keeps telling me and what did he do to protect Abbey? Nothing. It's all some big joke to him."

"Polly. You know if we knew anything was going on we would have done something. We tried to talk to Abbey, you know we did." Adam did joke about serving and protecting all the time but he was deadly serious when he needed to be and it was burned into his psyche that it was his role in life and that started with those in his house. "Your Dad has busted his ass the past few days to help Abbey. You do remember who flew out of here in the middle of the night to help Abbey? He sat beside her all night making sure she was going to be okay and so that she wouldn't wake up alone. He sat with her yesterday and listened to her and he is working with Intelligence to find Simon. I think perhaps you could be a little more grateful that you have a Dad who cares as much as he does."

"All men are the same."

"Stop right there." Kim had had enough, it was okay to be angry and upset but she wasn't going to put up with her slagging off at her father. "Don't you dare even put your father in the same boat as Simon. Don't you dare! All men are not the same. You are god damn lucky to be surrounded by the men that you are. Not everyone sadly has that privilege. There are terrible people in this world and Simon is a one of them. Your Dad is one of the best, you know he is."

"Then why was he here doing nothing and not out there looking for him?"

"He was here for you."

"I didn't need him." Polly screamed at her mother.

"Ever thought that perhaps he wanted to be here for you?" Kim was trying not to lose it. She understood that this was hard for Polly; it wasn't easy for any of them but that didn't excuse her attitude towards her father. "For your information, had you bothered to even ask, your father got sent home because of you and also because he was far too close to Abbey. Do you want Simon to get away with this?"

"No." She was starting to relent and Kim was hoping that she was getting through the angry wall she had built around her.

"Intelligence is all over it. Jay, Kevin, Pete and Sarah are all over it. Your Dad was getting updates all night in between worrying about Abbey and about you."

"They still haven't found him?"

"Not yet, but they will. I will call your Dad and see what's going on. He will let you know as soon as you can go and see Abbey."

"He can't stop me."

"No, but her parents can and her Doctors can. I know you want to see Abbey but perhaps she's not ready to see anyone?" Polly sat down heavily on her bed and let Kim sit beside her and put her arm around her shoulders. "I know you want to help Abbey, we all do but we have to do what is best for Abbey and right now it may not be having a lot of people around."

"Why are you trying to keep me from seeing her? What are you hiding?" She now pushed her mother away. It was a wild few minutes and Kim was struggling to keep it under control.

"Polly, stop it. As soon as it is okay we will make sure you see her. Your Dad will come and get you and take you to see her, but it will be when Abbey is ready, not you." Kim pushed herself up off the bed. "Perhaps you should take a shower. It might make you feel better."

Kim poured herself another cup of coffee and sat down at the table pulling her hair out of its ponytail and shaking her head before retying into a loose bun, it distracted her for a few moments. It felt like they were battling a Tsunami, the wave just kept on coming and they had no idea when it was going to stop. She called Adam. "Hey." She could hear him tapping away on his keyboard and munching away on something and knowing Adam it would have been some crappy sugary cereal that he didn't get at home. Kim knew that he hid them in the cupboard at work but chose to ignore it. Some days he just needed the sugar hit. "What are you doing?"

"Just about to take Gus to school." She sipped on her coffee, screwing up her nose a little at its bitterness. Adam had obviously put it on before he left home, no doubt filling up his travel mug before he did and she was grateful for that but he'd made it pretty strong and she didn't love it. "I need to stop and get a few things for dinner on the way home."

"How's Polly?"

"Angry. She wants to see Abbey?"

"I am just about to head over to Med. I don't know if Abbey is ready for visitors."

"Polly doesn't care. Says if we don't take her she will go by herself."

"Kim." Adam breathed out slowly and leant back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. "I'm not sure."

"Baby, neither am I. I would prefer she waits a few days but she has this stubborn Ruzek streak in her."

"Hey, she has a heck of a lot of you in her too." He dropped his feet back onto the floor as his chair rocked forward. "Ummm, Kim Darlin' we need to know, we need to ask Polly if Simon…."

"Adam." Kim interrupted him as Gus came in with his bag slung over his shoulder. "Can we not talk about that over the phone? I've got to go. I will see you when you stop in after going to Med." She knew precisely what he was about to say, she had thought it herself and even the barest possibilities of it being true terrified her and Gus didn't need to hear these conversations.

"Was that about Abbey?" He asked his mother as they got in the car.

"It was, Dad is going to see her this morning."

"Polly seems really angry with Dad. It's not Dad's fault."

"No it's not but Polly is really confused at the moment. She knows it's not Dad's fault."

"Is Dad okay?" Gus's voice trembled just a little, just enough for Kim to notice. She placed a steadying hand on the back of his neck.

"He is, he's just really focussed on finding Simon and helping Abbey. He's being a good cop right now but he is worried about you too, and Polly. So whatever you want to do with Dad on the weekend he'll make sure he is there okay?" Gus nodded. "And if you want to call him at all today, just call him Gus and talk to him."

Kim was still out when Adam called her again and as soon as she answered Kim could tell that Adam was pissed. "Is Polly with you?"

"No, I left her at home. She didn't want to come and despite pretending otherwise I think she was waiting for you."

"Well she's not here."

"Where is she?"

"Gee Kim, I don't know." He answered a little too harshly. "Take a wild guess."

Kim ignored his snippy reply. "Have you called her?" Not that asking obvious questions was going to do much to improve his mood.

"Of course I've bloody called her. Her phone is turned off. Obviously she does not want to talk to us or more specifically, me." He grabbed his keys and Kim heard the door closing as Adam left the house.

"I am two minutes away. Can you at least wait until I get home before you go storming off? I'd like to come with you." Both of them knew exactly where she'd gone. Without a doubt Polly had gone to the hospital even though they had told her to wait. Abbey had seen a Psychiatrist this morning and it had been extremely traumatic for her and when Adam saw her she was still quite distressed. Adam had talked to Murray and Janice when he dropped in and they all agreed that now wasn't the time for Abbey to have visitors. Maybe in a day or two she would feel up to it and they would make sure Polly was the first to know.

Janice was not coping well at all and he couldn't really blame her. The shock had well and truly kicked in and she was letting Murray make all the decisions right now. Adam could still see the resentment peeling off her but that was the least of his worries right now. His daughter hating him and finding this asshole were his biggest concerns.

Polly had obviously taken it upon herself to go and see Abbey and chose to ignore her mother's advice to wait until they had heard from Adam.

Adam was on his phone when Kim pulled up, he stayed outside on the phone while Kim unloaded the shopping from the car before they headed to the hospital together. "Who was that?" she nodded at the phone in his hand when he shoved it back in his pocket.

"Gus."

"Is he okay?"

"I think so, he just wanted to say hello and check in. He said you told him to call me?"

"If he wanted too, he was worried this morning that Polly was blaming you for all this."

Adam helped her into the car and closed the door before heading around to the driver's side. He leant over and gave Kim a quick kiss. "Thanks. It was nice to talk to him for a bit. He wants to go Go-cart racing on the weekend."

"It'll be good for both of you." Kim rested her hand on his thigh. "Polly?" that was all she had to say to make Adam bang his head lightly against the headrest in frustration.

"I am not sure this is going to end well today." Adam explained to Kim the traumatic morning that Abbey had endured

As well as dealing with what had happened to Abbey and the horror of that, the effect it was having on Polly worried them both. They were trying to work their way through everything and figure out how to parent something like this? How do you know what the best thing to do was? There were no guidebook for them to read and Adam and Kim had to talk to each other and support each other if they were going to help Polly. They also didn't have the luxury of time, they didn't have days to agonise over every detail because decisions had to be made in an instant and that just piled on the pressure. Adam was struggling to be a father and a cop so Kim focussed on just being a mother and that's what was working for them right now. They hadn't even talked about it; it was just the way the cards fell.

The worst thing facing them right now, once they found Polly was the prospect that they needed to talk to her about Simon and make sure he didn't touch her. That would kill them and the effect that it would have on Adam scared Kim. He would be uncontrollable. They had contemplated asking her last night but her reaction to the news about Abbey had been worse than they anticipated so they decided to wait until the shock wore off a little. Whether it was the right thing or the wrong thing to do they had no idea but that was the decision they made and now they just had to deal with it.

It didn't go as well for Polly as she hoped or envisaged. She expected Abbey to want to see her but she didn't and her parents tried to stop her but she created a scene outside Abbey's room so reluctantly they let her in while Murray called Adam and he assured them that they were almost there. "Why didn't you tell me?" Polly was crying before she even got in the room.

"Tell you what? I like your new sweater and by the way my mother's asshole boyfriend raped me last night." It was brutal thing for Polly to face alone.

"Well yes." Polly was a little stunned by Abbey's response. "I could have helped."

"By running to your parents? You already did that and look what happened? You told your parents and they told my Mom and now look at all this shit. You couldn't stop it Polly." Polly had no idea what that meant.

"So my Mom and Dad could have."

"Don't you get it? I didn't want anyone to know." She pulled her hand away from Polly's grasp. "I don't want you here now. Just leave."

"Abbey." Polly was desperate; this was not what she was expecting. She expected to be able to help her friend and she thought that Abbey would want her around. It was confusing, two days ago Abbey had clung to her and begged her not to go and now she was pushing her away.

"Polly, for fuck's sake leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it. All anybody wants to talk about is this; it's all I've talked about all day. I'm sick of it."

"Let's talk about something else then?"

Abbey was barely in control of her own emotions; she couldn't deal with Polly's right now. She'd already spent half the day with her mother's crying. "What else is there? This is who I am now, poor abused Abbey. I can see it in your eyes. I don't want your pity. Just leave." She rolled away from her.

"I don't want to go. I'll just sit here." She felt for the chair behind her and sat down heavily.

Abbey just lost it at her. "What don't you get? I don't want you here. Fuck off and leave me alone."

"No." That stubborn Ruzek streak wasn't serving Polly well right now.

Kim and Adam arrived to find Abbey hysterically screaming at Polly to get out and Polly wasn't much better. "Polly." Adam stepped into the room and Polly looked at him, her face a mix of horror and anger and she ran sobbing from the room, pushing past him and into her Mother's arms and Kim could barely hold her up. "This is why I wanted you to wait. For once I wish you'd bloody well listen." Adam snapped and Kim shot him a harsh look. It was unnecessary but she could understand Adam's frustration.

"You wouldn't have let me come."

"No Polly I wouldn't have because Abbey wasn't ready." He pointed angrily in to her room where Abbey was still hysterically screaming and Murray and Janice were struggling to contain her. "Do you think this has helped her? You think this is what Abbey needs? Look at her. It's not about you right now."

Kim hissed at him to calm down.

"She's my best friend."

Adam softened his tone considerably. Kim was holding her up and she pulled away a little when Adam rested a hand on her back. "I know she is sweetheart and trust me, one day soon Abbey will want you around but today is not the day."

"She talks to you." She may have been talking to her Dad but it was far from a pleasant exchange. "And it's my fault this happened."

"What?"

"Abbey, she said that. That you told her Mom and it made it worse. I told you not to say anything to her Mom, she didn't want anyone to know."

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt the pressure building behind his eyes. "No Polly, you don't understand."

"Then fucking tell me." Polly never swore at her parents. On the odd occasion that a swear word came out it had never been directed at them and they tended to ignore it but right now she didn't even realise she had said it. Everyone else within earshot did because it came out loud and clear. "Why won't you fucking tell me anything?"

"Okay Polly, enough." Adam was done and he put his hand on her arm and she yanked it away. "Just stop and breathe. I am not having this conversation here. We are going home."

Adam wasn't stupid, Polly did not want to be anywhere near him right now and it was killing him. He just wanted to wrap her up in a bear hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay. When all this started the last thing he imagined was that Polly would pull away from him. She was a Daddy's girl and had been from the day she was born. Her relationship with Kim was amazing but everyone had always commented on Adam's relationship with Polly and how close they were. One fucked up man had blown that apart in the blink of an eye and it was killing him.

"I'm not going home. I'm staying here."

"No you are not." It was getting out of control and while Polly didn't care that they were making scene Kim did. Neither Adam nor Polly was backing down and Kim was desperately trying to find a way to take the boiling pot off the stove.

Finally Polly started to calm down but she refused to go home with them and Adam and Kim wanted to get her out of the hospital so they convinced her to take a walk with them in a nearby park, they could all do with some fresh air. Polly walked silently in between them for a few hundred yards until they found a quiet spot and sat down and tried to talk to her.. At the very least they needed to not have this conversation near Abbey and they didn't want to have it when Polly was too hysterical to even listen to them. It wasn't ideal being here but it was the best they could do right now.

Although Polly did not want to listen or look at her Dad he started speaking anyway. "When Simon found out that Abbey was having sex with other people he threatened to tell Jamie that she had begged him for sex too and that it was all her doing. He told her that her mother would hate her and that nobody would like her and nobody could ever love her now." Adam paused and let that sink in a little before continuing. "Abbey was scared and so desperate to know that somebody would still want to be with her so she confessed everything to Jamie and he didn't want anything more to do with her. Janice had told Simon about Abbey after your Mom talked to her about what happened at Navy Pier that day."

"So it's my fault?"

"No Polly, no it's not. This saved Abbey. If we didn't say anything Abbey would still be being abused by Simon and making rash decisions like the one you saw at Navy Pier, she was putting herself in dangerous positions, anything could have happened to her. You helped her by telling us. This had to stop, Simon had to be stopped and Abbey needed help to make it happen. Perhaps this is not the best way and everyone wishes that it hadn't come to this but Abbey is safe now and that's all that matters." Adam was desperate to get through to her.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Abbey was scared Sweetheart, but please try and remember that we did help Abbey and we are going to help Abbey now. Abbey doesn't blame you, it may not have been easy but what you did helped Abbey get out from underneath this absolute asshole of a man. Please tell me you understand."

She nodded.

"And Polly whatever you don't understand just ask us, okay? We are going to help Abbey, but Polly…" he reached out and tried to ignore it when she flinched as he touched her cheek. "…we want to help you deal with it too. If you are confused or angry or worried about anything at all please let us know. Talk to us."

She turned to her mother, completely ignoring Adam. "Can I go and just see if Abbey is okay? I promise I won't go in." Kim agreed to go with her. Adam told them he'd catch up in a few minutes and when Kim turned back to look at him he had buried his head in his hands.

Adam felt like his relationship with Polly was on the verge of falling apart and he found it hard just to breathe.


	15. Their Our Babies

Polly went straight to her room when they got home. Kim had taken her up to check on Abbey and while Polly didn't go in she was able to see through the window that Abbey was sleeping and her parents were with her. It had started Polly off again and she was still distraught when Kim bought her out to the car. Adam had waited for them there and Polly barely acknowledged him even when he asked how things went.

Adam leant on the kitchen bench and rans his hands over his face. He was tired and struggling under an enormous amount of stress. Kim leant against him, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping her arms around his waist as Adam pulled her closer, it was her little spot and she fitted him perfectly. "I am worried about you."

"I know. I would tell you not to worry but I know that's pointless."

"It is." She leant back a little so she could see his face. He looked down at his wife and the look of weariness in his eyes was upsetting. "Can I tell you how much I love you?"

"Always welcome." Adam kissed her softly.

"Should we go and talk to Polly?"

"I am not sure how much more she can take?"

"Not a lot, but Adam we can't ignore this or keep putting if off. If anything I need to hear it from her mouth. I need to know." He could feel her trembling in his arms. "I need to know."

"I'm scared." They were both terrified; this may just destroy them. "Maybe it should just be you? I am not sure she wants to talk to me?" Adam wasn't ready to face another round of hate from his daughter.

"Probably not, but whether Polly likes it or not I refuse to do this alone, if she thinks she doesn't need you she's wrong. I will not have her turn around and say Dad didn't care and Adam I can't do it without you"

"I hate this so much."

Kim ran her hand over his cheek. "I know. I think tonight, when the kids go to bed I want to curl up in your arms and listen to you breathe."

"I'd really like that."

Polly was lying on her bed and didn't answer when they knocked but they went in anyway. Kim sat on the edge of her bed and rested her hand on her hip while Adam sat on the floor beside her bed. He leant with his back against he cupboard and watched Polly try and ignore the fact he was there.

While they would have preferred not to do this here, in her room but Polly was basically refusing to come out and they weren't about to drag her kicking and screaming downstairs nor did they want to delay this conversation any longer.

"Polly Sweetheart, your Dad and I want to talk to you."

"I don't feel like talking."

"We understand that but it's important."

She sat up a little and her tear stained face was heartbreaking to see and she wiped her hand over her face roughly. "Okay."

"First of all, do you have any questions or thoughts about what we talked about earlier? Is there anything you want to ask us?"

"No."

"Okay. I know you are really upset about today and everything that is going on with Abbey. It's a horrible, terrible thing for anyone to go through." Kim always talked to them so calmly, whereas Adam often just said what needed to be said and did little to try and soften the blow. "Polly, I know Abbey didn't want to tell anyone what was happening to her, but we have to ask… " Kim took a deep breath and glanced at Adam who nodded his head slightly. "…did Simon ever touch you?"

She looked mortified. "No."

"Okay."

"Mom I promise I didn't know anything, he didn't touch me."

"Did you ever see him touch or say anything to Abbey or Chloe or any of your friends?" Adam chimed in.

"No." Her voice changed in an instant and it dripped with disdain as she glared at her father. "I told you no, why don't you believe me?"

"I do believe you Polly. We just want to make sure nobody else was getting hurt by Simon."

"You always told me I could tell you if someone was hurting me. I am not lying."

"Polly, I know you would but it's scary and we know how scared Abbey was to talk about it. We trust you and we believe you, we really do. I know this is hard and confusing but we love you so much we want to make sure that we are doing everything possible to help you." Adam put all his energy into keeping his voice calm.

"Dad." It was the first time she had called him Dad all day and even that small concession gave Adam some hope. "I swear I knew nothing and saw nothing. He never touched me."

"Okay." He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and checked to number. It was Jay; he showed it to Kim as he pushed himself up off the floor. He was also heartened by the fact that Polly let him kiss her forehead before he left.

"Why doesn't he believe me?"

"Polly he does. He's just being a cop and a Dad. The cop part has to know for the case and the Dad part needs to know so he can help you if you need it."

"I want this to stop."

"We all do." Kim watched her as she lay back down and closed her eyes. "Have you talked to Sam today?"

"No."

"Why don't you give him a call, perhaps he can come over later." Kim thought that maybe Polly would open up to him.

"I'm tired. I want to sleep." If she slept then she wouldn't have to think about all this.

Kim found him outside on the back veranda and chose to watch him pacing back and forth rather than go to him. It looked like an intense conversation Adam was in the middle of. Her heart was hurting for her husband because knowing him like she did; his idiosyncrasies, his body language and his tone of voice told her that everything about this was getting to him.

Adam hated what had happened to Abbey, he always took anything to do with children hard even more so since he became a father. They'd had too many of these cases over the years but this was so close to home it had the potential to push him over the edge. Coupled with Polly pushing him away when all he wanted to do was hold her tight was hard for him to cope with.

Even when he hung up he didn't come in immediately and continued pacing. Eventually Kim went outside. "Adam Baby, what is it?"

"They arrested Simon. He's on his way back to Chicago."

"That's good right?"

"They interviewed him briefly and he's denying everything."

"Are you going in?"

"Soon. I am going to stop by the hospital and tell Abbey and her parents first." There was something that Adam wasn't telling her, again she knew him too well. He was staring out across the backyard and was obviously distracted and she tried not to let the panic set in.

"Adam, I get the feeling there is something else."

'What?" he dragged his eyes back to Kim. "No, it's nothing. I just want to get this over with and him denying everything isn't going to help Abbey move on. He keeps on like this she will have to testify and relive it and see him again and I don't want that to happen and I'd certainly don't want Polly to have to live through that either."

"There is still time to get him to change his mind."

"I'll be making sure he does."

He looked at Kim and reached for her hand and lifted it to his lips. "Have I told you how amazing you've been? Especially with Pol but with Gus too."

"Their our babies."

"I feel like I am letting you down though?"

"How?"

"By leaving all this to you." He nodded back towards the house.

"Adam. This is us. You are doing what you need to do and I am proud of you, so proud." Again he kissed her hand. "I'll make sure our babies are okay while you make sure he doesn't get away with it and tonight you and me are just going to be us for a bit."

"I can't wait." Adam held both her cheeks with his hand and put as much of himself as into that kiss as he could. "I need to go."

"You hungry?" Kim asked when Polly came down as she was just starting to marinate the chicken for the curry she was planning on cooking for dinner. It was one of Adam's favourites and she thought that he deserved it and hoped that he would be home so they could all sit down together. He promised her he would do his best.

"A little." She opened the fridge and stood looking at its contents.

Kim came and tucked her long dark blond hair back over her shoulder. "I'll fix you something."

"Maybe one of your omelettes?" Polly grabbed the eggs from the fridge along with the cheese, ham and tomatoes. "Has Dad gone?"

"He has." They had decided not to tell Polly just yet that Simon had been arrested. Adam wanted to see Abbey first and then get into work and find out what was going on. "He had to go back to work. He'll be home for dinner."

"Is that why we are having chicken curry?" Kim was delighted to see Polly crack a smile.

"Yes. You know how much Dad loves it. He's had a tough few days."

"I guess I didn't help did I?"

"He understands Polly but it still was hard for him. He loves you so much."

"I know and I am sorry I said that about Dad this morning. I know I am lucky." Polly looked down at her hands; she couldn't look at her mother for fear of crying again. Rationally she knew her Dad was doing everything he possibly could and it wasn't fair that she was treating him like shit but she didn't know how to stop herself. As soon as he walked away she promised herself that she would try harder next time but then when she saw him again all those feelings overwhelmed her.

Abbey's harsh words, way back when this all started turning to shit, when she told Polly that her Dad was a guy and only wanted one thing kept spinning through her head. She knew that wasn't the case but she couldn't stop herself and that made her push him away even harder. It was unfair and she was hurting him. Some part of her wanted to hurt her Dad because she couldn't hurt Simon. It scared her and she didn't understand all those feelings and thoughts nor how to control them.

"We are all lucky. This is a good family."

Polly had been thinking, she had a million questions but didn't know whom to ask. "Why do people do things like that? Like what Simon did? And I don't understand why Abbey didn't want anyone to know? And if he was forcing her to have sex why did she want to do it with so many other people?"

These were the questions that Kim was expecting she just wasn't sure she had the answers to them. "People like Simon do things like this because they like the power it gives them. He had power over Abbey, he would threaten to take away her home and her mother and tell people that she wasn't a nice person. It's a power trip and quite often it's because they were abused themselves."

Polly nodded. "Abbey had sex with other people because that made Simon stop and that's all she wanted. She didn't know how else to make it stop. It may not make sense to any of us but it did to Abbey. We can't judge her for that. The only person to blame here is Simon."

"That doesn't make it right?" Polly sat at the table as she watched her mother making her lunch. "What Simon did, if he was abused it still doesn't make it right."

"No it doesn't, it doesn't excuse anything Simon did."

"What did he do?"

"Polly, that's not up to me to tell you. Abbey doesn't want to share all those details with you yet; she may never want you to know. You have to be prepared for that and you also have to be prepared if she does."

"What does that mean?"

"Simon told Abbey that no one would like her if they knew, if she tells you what happened the worst thing that anyone can do is turn away from her or feel embarrassed or ashamed. Jamie, her boyfriend stopped calling her when she told him and you can imagine how that felt and that's one of the reason she took those pills." Kim slid the omelette in front of Polly and sat down with her. "Do you understand that?"

"Yes. Was that after you told her Mom?"

"Yes it was, sweetheart just remember the only person to blame is Simon, that's the only person Abbey blames."

"Janice didn't know did she?"

"No, I don't believe she did. We'll get through this Polly and we'll help Abbey and her parents get through this." She squeezed her hand and went back to preparing dinner.

"Is Dad angry with me?"

"No, he would never be angry with you about any of this. He understands how terrible this all is and he hates to see you hurting so much but he loves you, he's worried and just wants to do what's best for you."

"I thought Abbey would want to see me." Kim dropped what she was doing when Polly burst into tears. They had seen so many tears lately and it wasn't getting any easier.

Kim frowned a little when she saw Polly look at her phone when it rang, she caught a glimpse that it was Sam's name on the screen and was surprised when she rejected the call and turned it face down on the table. She was hoping that it was just because they were having a tough conversation but Kim feared that wasn't the reason. In the past she would always take his call no matter what was going on, much to Adam's annoyance at times but Kim had a suspicion that Polly was now pushing him away too.

These feelings that Polly was having were very familiar to her. "I think she will but just remember this is all very new and raw for everyone, sometimes it takes time and you push away people you love, especially the ones you love the most because you know they will always be there." Kim had never told Polly about her miscarriage; it was something that they rarely talked about anymore. It was always there but they only occasionally talked about it if they were alone and Adam would have preferred not talking about it at all. Kim knew it wasn't that he didn't care or had forgotten; it just hurt him too much.

"What happens if they aren't?"

"Then perhaps they were never meant to be in your life forever." Kim asked Polly to wait here a minute as she dashed upstairs and found what she was looking for, tucked away in it's little blue box in the back of her drawer, just like they had tucked away that pain in their heart.

When she came back down she opened the small box and showed Polly the silver necklace with the three tiny hearts. "Your Dad bought me this many years ago. Three hearts for our three babies."

"Three babies?"

Kim ran her finger over the three little charms. "When Angus was only 4 months old I fell pregnant again. Your Dad had just had this major car accident and at one stage I didn't know if we were going to lose him. It was a big shock for both of us but your Dad was so excited."

"What happened to the baby?"

"We had a miscarriage when I was ten weeks pregnant and I pushed your Dad away. He was just as heartbroken as I was but I treated him badly but he never left my side. He put up with my shit, I was horrible to him some days and I think I knew I could treat him like shit because every night he would come to bed and tell me he loved me and while I couldn't talk to him about it I waited for those three little words every night." Kim always talked about it now as _'we'_ even though at the time it was always _'I'_ , I had a miscarriage, I lost a baby. It took her awhile to see the pain it was causing Adam too. Sure he never fully understood what it was like for her and he often told her that but her sister had reminded her that she would never understand what it felt like to be Adam either and to watch you go through something so painfully heartbreaking and not be able to do a damn thing about it. So now it was always 'we lost a baby'.

"Did you split up?"

"No, never even crossed our minds. It was just really rough for a while. We loved you and Angus so much. You're Dad was amazing though and eventually we put it behind us and moved on. He was so patient with me and he bought me this to remind me that we once had three precious little heartbeats."

"Why don't you talk about it?"

"As time went on we just decided that we'd talked about it enough. Every now and then we talk about it, we don't hide from it but it's something that it just between us, and your Dad finds it hard, he doesn't really like talking about it but I know he still thinks about it sometimes and he will always listen to me if I bring it up. It was always a very personal thing that we kept between us."

"Did you ever want another baby?"

"Part of me did but my pregnancy with Gus was really challenging and I didn't want to go through that again especially after the miscarriage. It was such a painful thing to experience and your Dad didn't want me to go through that again if I didn't want to. If something had gone wrong I don't think we would have survived and having you and Angus was enough for us. Having another baby wasn't worth the risk of losing what we already had."

"So, you think Abbey is pushing me away like you did to Dad? Do you think Abbey will still want me around, eventually?" That's precisely what Kim thought was happening, but more than that she could see that pattern of behaviour in Polly that she had exhibited when she lost the baby; she pushed Adam away and Polly was doing exactly the same thing. Kim knew he had the strength to hang on but she also needed to make sure that Polly had the courage to come back when the time was right for her. It couldn't get so far out of control that the damage was irreparable.

"I think she will but Polly be patient, that's all I am saying." Kim ran her hand through Polly's hair and tucked it behind her ear. "It was tough for us at the time but you know what, it made use stronger. We realised we are stronger together than apart and bought us closer in the end."

"Okay." She nodded. "Can I talk to Dad about the baby if I want too?"

"Yes you can." Kim was pretty sure Adam would take anything at the moment; even a conversation about the weather would be welcome improvement as far as he was concerned. She just had to let him know that it was a possibility so that he wasn't blindsided. She closed the lid on the box and slipped it into her pocket but not before running her fingers over the three little hearts.

"Its really pretty Mom. You should wear it sometimes."

"No, it upsets your Dad."

It was the one thing that he always wanted to keep locked away in the deepest part of his heart.


	16. Rough Seas

**A/N: I do apologise in advance for the language...it felt appropriate.**

Adam made it home for dinner, just but he wasn't completely with them no matter how hard he tried. Whether the kids noticed it or not Kim wasn't sure, but she did.

Gus was more than happy to just to have his Dad around and Adam already told Jay that no matter what he wasn't working on Sunday. Gus had told Adam he wanted to go Go-Carting but then he found a virtual baseball game simulator and had sent Adam the details and begged him for his Credit Card so that he could book that instead. Adam promised to handle it and he was a little shocked at the cost but did it anyway. When Adam told him that he had booked them in he almost got a hug from Gus but settled for a fist bump instead and a whoop of joy.

Polly didn't talk much but she didn't outright hate on her Dad either so that was good enough for all of them. She was softening, still not completely ready to seek out his support but her faith in men had been shaken and Kim hated that. Adam was quite frankly the best person she knew, his belief in her had been unwavering, even when the road was bumpy Adam never let her down. Sure, at times work stopped him doing everything Kim wanted him to do, they'd had months of struggle when his job took over his life but that's what they signed up for. Not once had she doubted him and she wished that Polly could see how much he was rooting for her right now.

As soon as dinner was done, which Polly barely touched she disappeared back into her room. Kim assured him that Polly had eaten earlier when Adam commented on it. He worried about things like that; Kim supposed it was a good thing that he took notice of things that many men wouldn't. When Adam headed up for a shower he heard Angus in talking to his sister.

"I'm sorry about Abbey." He perched himself on the edge of her bed. It had been with some trepidation that he had gone into her room because she hadn't been particularly welcoming lately. Adam stopped and listened for a bit. He loved his kids together, having been bought up as a only child he often wished that he had someone to talk to when things were shit at home, and things were shit a lot of the time.

"Thanks, so am I."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I hope so." Polly sat down next to her brother and leant on his shoulder a little.

"What happened?"

"I don't know Gus, no one will tell me. All I know is her mother's bastard of a boyfriend raped her."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes I am, or I will be." Angus told her to let him know if she needed anything before leaving and heading back down to hang out with his Dad for a bit. They had the last few innings of a game to watch so Kim made them some popcorn and thought it was cute watching them, feet up on the table, a bowl of popcorn propped up between them and yelling at the TV. They were like two peas in a pod. Angus was the spitting image of his father and he was going to break hearts someday. Kim was preparing herself for a steady stream of crying girls knocking on their door.

"Where's Mom?" Polly asked as she came down the stairs and looked around for her mother.

"Shower. Why?" Adam ignored that she actually seemed disappointed that she had to talk to him.

"Nothing." She turned to head back upstairs. "I'll go ask her."

"Ask her what Polly? Don't hassle her while she's in the shower please."

"I'll wait."

"Polly?"

"Fine, I am not going to school tomorrow." He didn't love the snippy tone but he ignored it.

"Okay." Had it been any other day Polly's attitude would have made him make her go to school but the fact he was lucky to get more than two words out of his daughter right now and he desperately wanted her to be happy and to like him again he agreed.

Kim was surprised by the distinct lack of interest Polly showed in Sam when he just turned up, he had tried calling her all day and got nothing. Polly basically asked him what he wanted and barely even bothered to listen to his answer. Adam frowned a little; Polly's attitude wasn't impressing him much at the moment. He got that she was upset but this treating people like shit was not on. If she didn't snap out of it soon they were going to have a problem. Sam followed her outside without a word when she headed out to the back veranda.

Adam and Kim had spent many a day and evening on that veranda, laughing with friends, watching their kids run amok and even just spending time alone together on warm summer evenings when their own two had gone to bed, the baby monitor sitting in between the bottle of wine. Adam had even sat out here late on hot summer nights with Polly when she couldn't sleep and they watched the stars until she finally dozed off and he would carry her back inside and put her back into bed.

Polly pushed her back deep into the corner of the couch, she bought her knees up to her chest and it was like she was creating a physical barrier between her and Sam. He rested his hand on her feet but that was as close as he got and to be honest he was lucky to get that. She had baulked when he tried to kiss her and was lucky to land one on her cheek. "I was worried about you?"

"I've had other things on my mind."

"Hey, it's okay. I just wanted to know that you were okay." He had called her constantly for the past two days and got nothing other than one or two messages that she was fine.

"It's a little hard to believe, ya know? I mean I know this stuff happens because my Mom and Dad deal with it all the time but I didn't think I would ever know someone who was abused like this."

"Abbey never said a word?"

"Never. I had no idea." He could sense that Polly was getting agitated. "Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

"I do believe you, it's just a bit of a shock."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Sam nodded, he leant towards her but Polly pushed herself deeper into the corner. She had blown him away, literally. Every fear he had about asking her out, every warning he got about her family, particularly her Dad had been unfounded. Sure he knew that if he ever hurt her his life was probably over but apart from that nothing had made him doubt what he was doing with her.

When he arrived he sensed a little bit of a tense atmosphere in the house but then again the past couple of days had been pretty rough for them. "You're Dad didn't seem happy to see me?"

"He's fine." She snapped. "Who cares what he thinks."

"Don't hate on your Dad, Pol."

"I said can we not talk about it?" Sam was left in no doubt that his opinion wasn't welcome. He mumbled something and shut his mouth.

Adam grabbed a cushion off the couch and laid it in his lap, he patted it lightly. "Lie down Darlin'."

"I should be saying that to you? You're tired."

Adam moved the cushion and leant it against the arm of the couch and stretched himself out and made Kim slide in and stretch out in front of him. She pressed her back into him and draped an arm over her waist and watched TV. "You want to tell me what's got you so distracted tonight?"

"No."

"Why not?" Kim adjusted herself to get more comfortable.

"Because I wanted to spend the night with my family like the past 48hrs hadn't happened."

"But it has."

"I know and it's all I have thought about for days. I need not to think for a while."

"Fair enough."

"If our teenage daughter was not outside cuddling up to her boyfriend I would be not thinking about it in a whole different way." Not that there seemed to be much cuddling going on as far as Kim could tell when she stuck her head out and asked them if they wanted anything. Seemingly Sam was getting a slightly frosty reaction from her also. Adam nibbled Kim's ear. "Maybe I should send him home?"

"Park it Baby."

"I'd like too." He dug his fingers into Kim's hip and she could feel his growing response to having Kim right there. "I'd love to park my one eyed bus in your black walled tunnel."

"Adam." Her voice told him to stop but her body melted into him.

He buried his head in her neck and mumbled something that she couldn't quite understand but his actions were making it quite obvious what he both wanted and needed. Suddenly he pulled away. "I know but promise me later on I can love you?"

"You can love me long time." While it might seem like a strange thing to be thinking about when so much else was going on it was the very act of connecting to the person you loved like no other that could heal a broken heart just a little or at the very least make you not feel or think about it for just a while. They could lose themselves in each other, find pleasure in each other's touch and kisses and draw strength from each other and that was comforting. Sometimes you just needed to have sex; sometimes you just needed to feel someone else's love in you or around you. Sometimes you needed to shut out the big bad world and get naked with the one that owned your heart completely.

It didn't take long for Kim to feel his breathing even out and she knew he was asleep, still holding her tightly but soundly sleeping. She let him sleep, watched the rest of the movie before sneaking out from under his grasp and taking a quick look outside. Sam was up one end of the couch, with his feet on the table and Kim expected to see Polly curled up next to him but she was giving him the vibe she wanted distance from him too as she had pushed herself deep into the opposite corner and there didn't seem to be much of a conversation going on either. It wasn't just her Dad she was struggling with it seemed like Sam wasn't getting much from her either. The speed at which Polly had shut them both out was astounding and her hope that Polly would talk to Sam and they would find out what was going on with her was slipping away.

When Polly had said goodnight after Sam left Kim went back to wake Adam up, even the goodbye was strange, Polly literally walked him to the door, thanked him for coming and pretty much shut the door in his face. She had tried to ask Polly about it but got a frosty look and a grunted reply as she stormed upstairs.

"Baby come to bed." She shook his arm.

"What? Hey?" he muttered groggily. "I feel asleep?"

"Hours ago."

"Damn, I was so hoping for some love."

"Well get up then, you've still got time."

"Where's Polly?"

"In bed."

"Oh." His face fell just a little. One day his girl was going to come back to him. "Don't suppose I got a goodnight grunt even."

"You were asleep and don't worry Sam got the same goodnight as you did. Basically nothing." Kim grabbed his hand as they turned of the lights and headed upstairs. He wanted to stop by her room but Kim tugged on his arm. "Baby, she'll come back."

"I don't know if I can wait."

"Yes you can."

Kim dragged him into bed, with very little resistance on his part. They were able to put everything aside, all the shit swirling around them and have a little bit of heaven. When Adam held onto her just a bit tighter she knew that he wasn't as good as he claimed to be but he wasn't ready to share so Kim had to wait.

When he got up early to go for a run with Angus he sat on the edge of the bed for just a moment before he left and dropped his head when he thought she was still sleeping. Kim watched him quietly; he seemed weary and buckling under the weight of it all.

"Okay, Adam. What's going on?" Adam came out of the bathroom showered ready for work after his run while she had waited patiently. Even after all these years his body still took her breath away. He was never into the six-pack look but he was always fit and he had zero sense of modesty and would walk around their bedroom stark naked at every opportunity. The kids had learnt to knock before coming in, not so much when they were little but now they were older they felt it wasn't appropriate anymore particularly for Polly to see her Dad naked.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"I know you, you have been hiding something from me since you got home yesterday. I gave you space and time now I want to know. I want to know what landmines are ahead of us."

Adam sensed that the gig was up and he couldn't hide it from Kim forever, nor did he want too. "Forensics uncovered encrypted cloud storage that Simon had hidden using false identities. They are slowly deciphering them. I do know there are photos on them and some videos but they haven't told me everything or let me see them. I am worried Polly is on them."

"What do you mean?" Kim shrieked.

"I don't mean anything bad. I think he was just taking photos of Abbey and her friends. Jay has assured me so far there is nothing terrible on there but I want to see them. They won't let me until they know what it is."

Kim was shaking. "Oh God."

Adam sat on the bed and shook his head. "I am sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want to worry you. I just wanted you to believe that Polly is not involved in any of this. I didn't want you to freak out like I am, I wanted to protect you too." A tear slid down his cheek. "Darlin' I feel like I can't breathe anymore."

Kim knelt in front of him, moving her head until Adam looked up at her. "Oh Baby. I wish you'd told me. I could help you."

"You did, Darlin'. Last night you did."

"Please don't hide things from me Adam, I need to know."

"I know." He rubbed his hands wearily over his face. "I wasn't hiding it from you. You wanted to spend the night just being us I was trying to give you that." She had to love him for that, she had asked that they spend some time together just being them and listen to each other just breathe and that is exactly what he did. Despite all the stuff he was worried about he tried to give Kim what she had asked for. He was trying to be everything to everyone and that was one of the things she loved about him the most.

Adam leapt off the bed when his phone beeped. "They've just bought Simon in."

"Don't do anything stupid Adam."

"Jay's not letting me within spitting distance of the cunt." He saw Kim cringe at his language and it was a word that he very rarely used but quite honestly this guy deserved it and if it turned out that he had photos of his daughter that were anyway exploitative he'd be a dead cunt.

"Can you let me know what's going on?" Kim followed him downstairs.

Adam leant in to kiss her as he clipped his star onto his waist and slid his gun into its holster. "I will talk to you soon. Polly going to school today?"

"I will see how she is. I think it would be best to get her back into school but maybe another day." Adam frowned. Kim was such a soft touch, the slightest sign of a sniffle and he kept them home. Adam had grown up knowing that only a good spew would get him a day at home. This wasn't quite the same but getting Polly back into routine would need to start soon. "I am sure she will ask about seeing Abbey again today."

"Once I know what is going on with Simon I will talk to her parents."

"Be careful Baby." He was out the door in an instant and Kim turned her attention back inwards, back towards her two children.

She had to keep this ship sailing.


	17. Breaking Point

Atwater stood between Adam and the door. "You are not going in there."

"Kev, man get out of my way."

"No." This was exactly why Halstead had sent Atwater into the observation room with Ruzek.

"I am warning you Kev, back the fuck off."

"Ruzek." He put his hand on his chest and Adam looked down at it and then back up at his partner. He was a bundle of pure hatred and rage and Kevin knew that nothing would stop him if he got close to this guy. "Bro, I am not letting you through."

Adam poked him hard in the chest. It was no easy feat as Atwater had size and weight on his side but Adam had never been scared of him and wasn't about to start now. "You heard that?"

"Of course I heard it and man I know you are beyond pissed but come on that prick…" He pointed through the window to where Simon was sitting, blood trickling down his face. "…Is not worth losing your badge over."

"He was talking about Polly." Adam screamed at him, thumping his own chest angrily. The agony in his voice stunned Kevin a little. "Polly. My Polly, that's my daughter he was talking about."

"I know. Ruz, I know and he's going to pay but you are not going to be the one that does it. I am not going around to your house to tell Kim and Polly that you are in jail because you killed some piece of shit over some photos and a sick comment. Not when they need you the most." Kevin was surprised this case hadn't been taken off them yet considering how close everyone was to it and they were about to find out if they could stay on the right side of the line. He was a little grateful that Halstead was now in charge, he was a little more straight down the line compared to Voight who probably would have had him in the cage or down at the silos by now, particularly after that comment.

"It's Polly. That's my baby." Finally Adam faltered, his voice broke and Atwater saw him start to stumble. He didn't like watching his best mate fall apart in front of his very eyes. How he had managed to stay on his feet for the past few days didn't surprise them at all. When Adam got his teeth into a case he didn't stop until he felt like he had done everything he could. This wasn't the same and at some point they knew he had a breaking point.

"He didn't touch her. He didn't touch her." Kevin repeated several times until he was sure Adam heard him.

"But he wanted to." And this was it; this was his breaking point and no one was going to blame him for that. It would have broken anyone.

Watching Simon being interviewed had been a harrowing experience. He denied everything until the facts were laid out in front on him, the sad sadistic smile slowly fading when he realised his game was up but not before he virtually dug his own grave.

The photos that they uncovered of most of the girls were not particularly disturbing, not in the way they showed those girls being exploited, he was obviously very careful about that but there were a lot of them, starting pretty much from when Janice started seeing him, of Abbey and her friends. There were photos of them getting dressed up for parties, hanging out at the beach or by the pool. It was the way he cropped some of them, focussing on various girls and zooming in on them and their bodies that was sickening. Those photos of Polly pushed Adam well over the edge and she was in a lot of them. He didn't need to see close ups of his daughter in a bikini or in shorts, they made his skin crawl and took him to a place he didn't know existed within him.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen her wearing those clothes himself and while he did raise a few eyebrows with some of the stuff that Polly wore he just let it go, she certainly wasn't the worst dressed he'd seen and her clothes weren't overly revealing but she did like to show off her legs and her seventeen year old figure. However, when you saw those photos on a computer of a Paedophile that was something else.

The photos of Abbey on the other hand were quite frankly, horrific. The poor girl had been through hell and it had taken everyone a long time to get their head around them and they knew that she had a very long road ahead of her.

Halstead had thought long and hard about letting Adam see them before the interview and letting him watch. He had even called Al, Adam's initial mentor and confidant over the years for his advice. This wasn't any old case, although they had dealt with plenty of paedophiles in their time, this was affecting one of their own and Jay wanted to make sure he got this right.

Adam pushed past Atwater and instead of turning towards the interrogation room he headed towards the locker room. The banging of the lockers told anyone on that floor at the moment that Ruzek was an angry man and the locker room was an 'enter at your own risk' environment right now. No one judged him or blamed him, how could they? They wouldn't have acted any different had they been in that situation.

"Where is he?" Al caught Kevin as he came down the hall. Al was quite possibly the only person he wasn't going to push away. He'd repeatedly baulked at Atwater's attempt to talk to him, despite him being his best friend and partner. He'd kept things strictly professional with Halstead refusing to be drawn on the personal side of this case. He wanted to be involved every step of the way, he wanted to know what was going on so he didn't need his boss to worry that he couldn't handle it or was in danger of over stepping the line. He held him self in check and it was physical and mentally exhausting.

Al could get through all that and Adam could just be himself and spill all his fears and it would stay between the two men. Over the years Adam had told Al things that had never seen the light of day again. That's what Adam needed, he needed someone to be there for him and Al had always been that person.

He had to be strong for Kim, he had to be there waiting when Polly wanted to talk to him, he worried about Angus and the effect it was having on him but right now, after hearing that abhorrent man spew that shit out in the interrogation room Adam needed someone to be there for him.

"Follow the noise Al." He pointed to the locker room.

"Hey." He found Adam slumped against the lockers, his knees drawn up to his chest and his head tilted backwards, staring into space. Al didn't need take a minute to gauge Adam's likely mood, it was written all over his face and evident in his body language.

"Al?" he rolled his head to the side and smiled weakly. Why wasn't he surprised to see him? "Who called you?"

"Halstead." Al sat on the bench in front of him and leant forward and cradled his head as it fell into his lap. "Let it go Kid." He had never stopped calling Adam 'Kid' in all the years they had known each other.

Eventually he lifted his head, sat back a little and ran his hands roughly up and down his thighs to try and steady himself. "I've never wanted to kill someone as much as I want to kill this guy. What he did to Abbey? It's revolting, it's unforgiveable but he had photos of my girl and that feels so much worse now."

Al grabbed the back of his neck and looked deep into his pain filled eyes. "You have every right as a father to feel like this."

"What he did to Abbey was so much worse, I mean he was raping her constantly but I feel so fucking wild right now because he had some photos of Polly and made some depraved comment about her." That had finally made Adam snap, and in a big way. The smug way he stared at the mirror knowing full well that Adam was probably watching showed his true colours and he was basically the lowest form of pond scum.

Simon had never had an issue with Adam, they actually got on reasonably well whenever they met up but he was cornered and his adrenaline was causing him to lash out at anyone who came near him. Adam was just in the wrong place, he was a cop and the cops had him bailed up and he could see his life was over as he knew it. He wasn't stupid, he knew what happened to sexual predators in jail and he was going to get no favours now.

He didn't see the face plant from Halstead coming but he felt the blood trickle down his face from his broken nose. It was probably just the beginning.

"Polly is your daughter and as much as you, as a human being and a cop want to protect the innocent people in the world from fucked up scum like this there is no one more innocent than your own child. Don't feel guilty about caring about your family Kid. Don't feel guilty about wanting to keep them safe. No one, and I mean no one would ever begrudge you feeling like this after hearing someone talk about their daughter like that."

Al held him as he sobbed his heart out.

Long after Al left him Adam splashed some water on his face, took one quick look in the mirror and groaned. He looked like shit; he looked like he'd been crying. He looked weak but he couldn't hide in here forever. He had a job to do and then he had to go home and face his family, he had to face his daughter, who he wasn't even sure liked him at the moment and tell her that a sick son of a bitch had photos of her. And he had to break his wife's heart.

But he was gutless, he couldn't do it and by the time Atwater dragged him out of the bar and poured him through his front door he could barely stand and Kim was beyond pissed.

"Burgess, cut him some slack." He helped Kim get him into the spare room. There was no way she was putting up with his snoring and moaning all night because when he was this drunk that was exactly what he would do. She made him drink some water and take a couple of Advil and put a bucket beside his bed in case he spewed, which he rarely did she must admit and closed the door. She'd be happy not to see him until tomorrow. He was too drunk to even comprehend how angry Kim was at him so yelling at him was pointless, he probably didn't even realise he was home.

"Kev, I don't mind him stopping for a few drinks but he can barely remember his own name."

"He needed to let off some steam, I can guarantee he'll be regretting it tomorrow."

"Oh you can count on that." Kevin cringed a little, his mate was in deep shit and he was glad he wasn't going to be around to see the fallout. When Kim was pissed at Adam everyone knew it, even Adam would willingly admit that he was to blame for the vast majority of Kim's moods. Kim could well and truly hold her own and Adam knew how to push her buttons. This wasn't deliberate though; he'd just reached the end of his tether.

"It's been a tough day few days."

"Really?" Kim bit back at him sarcastically. "You don't think I know that? Why now? What happened today?"

"I think just listening to Simon admit to what he did to Abbey was the final nail. We closed that case, he's going away for a long time and that part of it is over. He held it together until then." Atwater chewed his bottom lip nervously.

"So it has nothing to do with those photos?"

"It's been a long day Burgess, it's been a long few days."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Kim." He rested his hands on her shoulders. "You know what it's like when you finally put someone away and close a file." He tried to reassure her but knew that he was failing miserably. "This case wasn't just any case either, this was Abbey and it involved Polly. I know he's been getting a hard time from Polly as well. He's struggling with that, you know he is. You'd be proud of how he's handled it all, don't chew him out too much."

Atwater just hugged her tightly and when Kim stuck her head in on Adam he was already snoring so she tried to push it to the back of her mind.

It was more than that; she knew it. She could see it on Kevin's face. Something happened today to push Adam over the edge and not knowing what it was scared her and that made her angry. He knew how stressed she was about everything when he left this morning, knowing that they were talking to Simon today. She got a few messages from him through the day and a quick phone call but that was it.

Kim tossed and turned all night, she hated not having Adam beside her and she hated that she had no idea what was going on with him. What was so terrible that he felt the need to get blind drunk rather than come home and talk to them?

It kept coming back to the same thing…..those damn photos.


	18. The Day After The Night Before

There was nothing more unpleasant than the stale alcohol smell that hit Kim between the eyes as soon as she opened the door to their spare room. "I assume you are not going into work today?" Kim took one look at her husband and cringed a little. He actually looked green and for the briefest moment she actually felt sorry for him, but it was a fleeting sympathetic feeling.

"No." he croaked, prising one eye open and quickly closing it again when the light hit it and sent a throbbing pain shooting through his head.

Kim placed a glass of water and a couple of Advil beside the bed. She did care, just a little bit. "Do you want me to call in?" Not that you could tell by her tone of voice.

"No need, Halstead gave me the rest of the week off." This was news to Kim. He rolled over gingerly and laid his arm over his eyes to block out the light that was suddenly flooding into the room from the open door. "I think I am dying."

"Oh get over yourself. You've got a hangover."

"It feels like I am dying." Kim did not miss this. Adam rarely got this drunk anymore but when he did he had perfected his dying swan routine. Even when he was sick he was pathetic; annoyingly so. No one ever suffered quite like Adam did.

"You are not dying."

"You are being mean to me."

"Only because you are acting like a three year old." She felt like she was talking to a child and even had her hands on her hips like she used to do when Polly and Gus were fighting like two rats in a sack.

"When the kids are sick you are much nicer to them." Adam whined.

"You are not sick, this is all your own doing and because I love my children." Kim was having none of his shit, not today, not until he manned up and told her what was going on. Adam just continued to whine. "You, right now, not so much."

Kim sighed and closed the door. She would deal with him later. "Where's Dad?" Gus asked when she came back into the kitchen frowning at his bowl of cereal that was so full he couldn't even lift it off the bench without spilling it. He bent down and sipped the milk directly out of the bowl before he just started shovelling it in. Kim chose to ignore it, luckily for Gus Adam had diverted her attention and nothing he could do was as bad as whatever her husband had done.

"In bed. He's regretting going out last night and getting drunk."

"Like how drunk?"

"Like, far too drunk for his own good and now he thinks he is going to die type drunk."

"Cool." He nodded as he placed his bowl in the sink. Kim was constantly shocked at how quick he ate and no matter how many times she told him to slow down it made no difference, particularly in the mornings when he woke up starving.

"No, not cool Gus. It's incredibly stupid and pathetic."

It was then that Kim decided that Adam wasn't going to hide away in the spare room sleeping off his hangover. Angus was going to see how much this hurt. Every other time that Adam, or Kim for that matter had a hangover they would lock themselves away from the kids until they felt somewhat human. Not today. She wasn't having Angus thinking this was his Dad being cool or fun.

"Adam you need to get up and take Gus to school."

Why was she yelling at him all of a sudden? "What? Why?"

"Because he thinks you are cool for getting drunk and having a hangover and he needs to see how much you are suffering." Her voice had taken on a slightly nastier tone; he was coherent enough to notice that. He wasn't with it enough to know what it meant or realise that whining wasn't going to help.

"Baby I can't drive."

"Fine, I will drive and you will get up and get in the car and come with us."

"Fucking hell." He moaned. "Just send him in here I will show him how shit I feel."

"No, get up."

"Kim." He tried to plead his case but she had flicked on the light and pulled back the Duvet. He was screwed and was pretty sure he was going to vomit at some stage through this whole process and Kim would have no one to blame but herself…..and him of course, she would completely blame him.

"Wow." Gus choked out when he saw his Dad stagger into the kitchen, still wearing the same clothes he went to work in yesterday looking for coffee.

"Don't say a word."

"You look sprightly this morning Sweetheart." Kim just laughed at him. He seriously felt like utter shit and Kim laughing at him wasn't appreciated and the look he gave her told her precisely that. A minute ago she was practically yelling at him and now she was cackling away. Fuck that for a joke. Gus knew he was better off out of the way and scuttled from the kitchen before he got caught in the crossfire.

"I am so glad you all find this so god damn amusing." Adam sipped on the coffee and waited to make sure it stayed put. He had barely kept the water and Advil in his stomach. What the hell did he drink last night? He recalled tequila shots and that never ever ended well for him. "Do I have time for a shower?"

"Ten minutes."

"Where is Polly?"

"Getting ready. She is going back to school today. Dress nicely Babe, we are meeting with the principal."

"What?"

"I just called her and set up a time to have a chat." They had talked about this, that they wanted to talk to the school to make sure they had all their bases covered with regards to Polly and how she was coping with everything that had happened and also Gus, he was at risk too. He just didn't expect to have to do it today.

"Really, today? Why are you being such a bitch?"

"Did you really just call me a bitch?" Kim was not amused. He often called her that and generally he always had a smile on his face and used it as a term of endearment. Kim was often his kitchen bitch, shopping bitch or sneaky bitch just as she often called him a bastard. Whether it was his rough state or just her mood this morning but she didn't find it quite so endearing.

"Sorry Darlin'. You are my sexy hot bitch though." Adam leant in to give her a kiss and Kim pushed him away angrily. His weak pathetic attempt at making that sound better than it did fell on deaf ears. "I love you."

"Go away Adam." Kim turned her back on him. "You stink, go shower and get dressed."

He reappeared 15 minutes later, looking cleaner but no less worse for wear. Kim handed him some toast and cup of coffee and quite frankly he was lucky to get that. He slid his sunglasses on and reluctantly followed Kim and the kids out to the car. "You are enjoying this aren't you?" He muttered to Kim as he turned the radio down to barely above a whisper. He dared not move too quickly in case it disturbed the delicate balance he had going on right now.

"A little."

Polly was far from impressed to find out that her parents were coming into school to meet the Principal and talk about her. "What for?" she shrieked and Adam physically cringed at the shrillness of her voice. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard in his fragile state.

"Because we are." Adam muttered when he finally found the will to speak.

"Jesus, I am fine. I don't need you making a big deal out of this. I mean look at you, you look like shit on a stick." As soon as Kim heard Polly's tone of voice she knew Adam was going to lose his temper, he wasn't in the greatest mood as it was. One thing he never tolerated was backchat; he got enough of that at work.

"Watch the attitude." He snarled and Kim could feel the tension rising in the car. Gus wisely put his ear buds in and listened to his music and stayed well out of it.

"Just what I want my drunk father embarrassing me in front of the whole school."

He spun around in his seat so quick he actually thought he was going to vomit. "Excuse me?"

"Look at you. Are you actually going to take your sunglasses off so we can see your bleary eyes? You look like shit."

"You know what Polly?" Kim rested a hand on Adam's arm but there was no stopping him. "What do you want me to do? Not give a fuck? Do you want us not to care about you? Because guess what? Not going to happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. So deal with it."

"This will just make it harder for me. Everyone will be talking about it."

"Suck it up. This what happens when you have parents that love you and care about you." Adam just kept going. "We deal with this shit every single fucking day, we see how it affects people and I am not going to sit by and watch you fall in some hole, not on my watch. I don't want this to swallow you up. So forgive me for trying to do everything I possibly can to help you." He turned back around and stared out the window. Reaching for the bottle of water that Kim took with her everywhere he took a few small sips as he tried to keep himself from tossing his cookies.

"Mom."

"You know what Polly, I agree with your Dad. Probably not the way he chose to explain it but nonetheless we are on the same page. And whether you believe it or not we are on your side." Kim did agree with Adam, she was pissed off with his outburst but he wasn't wrong. They were not going to sit back and watch her spin out of control.

"How pissed is Polly going to be when she finds out about the counselling?" He opened the door for Kim as she climbed into driver's side, Adam slid into the passenger seat still feeling a little delicate after they had met with the Principal. They had always liked her, she was rational and calm and reassured them that they would keep an eye on Polly and Gus. Even when Kim suggested that Polly was worried that people would make things harder for her she promised them that Polly wouldn't even realise that they were keeping an eye on her and the moment her grades started to suffer they would be the first to know. When Kim bought up some counselling Mrs Watson was happy to arrange for her to meet the school counsellor and that they would also make the same offer to Abbey's other close friends and classmates. It was standard procedure when something like this happened, which fortunately wasn't all that often.

"Perhaps I should tell her? You're speech earlier left a lot to be desired." Kim forced herself to laugh a little, although nothing was particularly amusing about any of this.

"I thought it was epic?"

"You would."

He poked her leg lightly. "You didn't disagree though?"

"No I didn't disagree but you certainly didn't pull any punches."

"Well its not like things could get any worse for me is it? She hates me." It really upset Kim how personally Adam was taking this. She had tried to talk to him about it but he just couldn't deal with it.

"She doesn't hate you, Adam don't say that I think she is just really confused and struggling a little bit." Adam just nodded and kept staring straight ahead at the road.

"A little bit." He snorted. "Easy for you to say."

"No it's not actually. I don't like it either."

Adam was done with it, talking to Kim about it ad nauseam wasn't going to change anything. "Brunch?" He was still feeling pretty seedy but at least felt well enough to try eat in the vain hope it would be a miracle cure and it was also helping him avoid the inevitable conversation about yesterday. Kim knew that he was stalling and let him run with it for a while. Instead they talked about what they thought was going on in Polly's head with regards to Sam, who seemed to be on the outer and also Abbey and what to do with Angus, he couldn't just be left to twist in the wind.

Adam didn't make it through his coffee before Kim bought up the elephant in the room. "Al called yesterday." She decided to dive in, they couldn't avoid it and talk about everything but what he was hiding from her. Kim was watching him carefully, what he said and his body language were often two completely different things. Like right now, she could see his shoulders sag just a little. "Asking how you were doing?"

"Did he?"

"He was concerned about you apparently."

"Really?"

"You are not going to tell me?" He was hiding something from her; she could see it.

"Yes, but not right now. Let's have something to eat and go home and then we can talk."

"That doesn't fill me with any confidence Adam." He leant back as the waitress bought their food over. A good greasy breakfast was exactly what he needed right now while Kim picked at a muffin. He had noticed that she wasn't eating much the last few days. When Kim got stressed she tended to lose weight through not eating. So not only did Adam worry about Polly he was starting to worry about Kim too.

"I know. Think of it like this. I just lost it yesterday and needed a shoulder to cry on. You weren't available so Al stood in. "

"This that why Jay gave you the rest of the week off?"

"The case is done, he thinks I could do with a bit of time with you guys, especially Polly. We've got nothing else on right now. That's all."

That wasn't all and she knew it and Adam was well aware he had bought himself very little time. "When we get home." He rubbed her thigh under the table and turned his attention to his breakfast. "Are you going to eat?" as he shoved a mouthful of food in and nodded at her barely eaten muffin.

"Are you really going to nag me?"

"Maybe." An uneasy silence fell between them. "Am I not allowed to even comment about your lack of appetite?"

"No. I had breakfast but you were dying in bed and carrying on like a three year old. Forgive me for not being hungry right now." Adam just shut his mouth and ate his breakfast. He knew better than to keep pushing the issue, he had actually learnt something from their 17 years of marriage.

Adam patted the couch and asked Kim to sit with him pretty much as soon as they walked through the door. "I know I told you that Simon finally gave a confession about what he did to Abbey." He had called Kim briefly to tell her that it was over and that he was going out for a drink after work. Kim waited for him to continue.

"They finished decrypting Simon's cloud."

"And."

"He had a lot of photos of Abbey and they weren't good Kim…" she did not like the look on Adam's face and the way he was holding her hand so tightly. "…and he also had photos of her friends."

"Polly?"

Adam nodded. "He had photos of Polly."

Kim reefed her hands away from him. "And you are telling me this now?"

"I freaked out. I've seen them and trust me Darlin' there is nothing bad on there of Polly."

"How can you say that?" she wanted to hit him. "A Paedophile has photos of our daughter?"

"I know, don't you think I know that? There were photos of her friends hanging out, we have photos like that."

"Don't even." She held up her hand to stop him. "Don't you dare."

"Look Kim, he'd obviously cropped some of them to zoom in on some of the girls, Polly included but there was nothing to indicate that the girls even knew that they were being taken. It still made me fucking wild and I lost my shit. Al came in to make sure I didn't do anything stupid."

"Oh God Adam. Why is this happening? Why does this just keep getting worse?"

"Polly does not need to know about this." Somewhere along the line he had convinced himself that there was no valid reason to tell Polly about them. She had promised them that Simon didn't touch her and while the photos were uncomfortable to look at, they weren't explicit in any way. The photos of Abbey were a whole different story but he couldn't think about that now. All he could think about was Polly. What would it achieve by telling her?

"Of course she does."

"There was one more thing." Adam reached out for Kim's hand again and he wasn't letting her go this time. "When Halstead was interviewing him he tried to provoke me into losing it. He made a crack about Polly."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She tried to pull her hands away but Adam held her tighter.

"No."

"What did he say?" Adam shook his head and refused to tell her and he finally let go of her hands when Kim was starting to fight against him. They didn't do this; this was not their relationship, if he didn't let go he was going to hurt her and that is something he would never do, not in a million years would he physically hurt his wife. "And you did nothing?"

"Atwater had to hold me back. I wanted to kill him, I still do."

"I can't believe this." She shoved him hard in the chest. "And rather than come home you go out and get blind fucking drunk." Adam watched as she stormed from the house, grabbing her bag and keys and slamming the door behind her.

"Well that went well." He leant back and closed his eyes. Why shouldn't this day be as bad as the rest of them?


	19. Teetering On The Edge

"Where's Mom?" Angus dropped his bag inside the back door and headed straight for the fridge so that he could swing on the door whilst trying to decide on something to eat, it wasn't a quick process. He eventually grabbed an apple and slammed to door making everything rattle. Seeing his Dad in the kitchen during the week was an unusual sight especially seeing he was currently getting dinner started, when he did cook it was typically the weekend and that usually involved something thrown on the grill.

"Not here." He hadn't seen her since she had left the house earlier. He knew that she had been into the District and had stormed upstairs and demanded that Jay show her the photos and now she was still out god knows where.

They spent a few minutes talking about his day at school before Adam sent him upstairs to do his homework. Although to say they'd talked about it would have been a stretch, Adam asked him questions and Gus grunted some one word replies. 'Yep, Nah, Okay, sure' He wasn't completely sure the English tutoring had really achieved much more than a basic pass mark.

Kim didn't even bother stopping at the front desk when she arrived at the District and barely nodded at her colleagues. Halstead had been surprised to see her and looked curiously at his friend and fellow Sergeant. "What's wrong Kim? Is Polly okay?"

"Fine. Adam, on the other hand is teetering on the edge of extinction."

"Why?" He barely got his question out before Kim let loose.

"Because my fucking husband decided to get rip snorting drunk last night rather than tell me about those damn photos." She had roared at Jay. He jumped up from his desk and made his way round to close his door. The whole of the district did not need to hear this conversation.

"Kim." Jay had been a little taken aback by her outburst. "Just slow down. I am sure he had his reasons."

"He's gutless and a coward." Not that she believed any of that but her fierce Momma Bear mode was crushing her rational side. "That's his reason."

"This case has been tough on all of you. Adam's been in the middle of it trying to be a cop and a Dad and a husband with a case that was way too close to home. Cut him some slack, he needed to release a pressure valve." Halstead knew he was wound pretty tight and that was exactly why he gave him the next few days off. Simon was behind bars; they had a confession so from his point of view the case was closed. Adam needed to go home and deal with the personal side of this. "While it may not have been the best way to do it wasn't it better than screwing up this case because he was let loose on Simon or losing his shit at home at Polly or you or Gus?"

Kim's voice started to quiver. "I guess. But those photos Jay. That was my girl."

"And there is nothing on there to suggest that Simon laid one finger on her. Polly assures you that he didn't touch her didn't she?" Kim nodded, she knew Jay was right but it wasn't making this any easier to deal with.

"I know. Adam told me." Kim was starting to relent. She didn't want to be angry with Adam, he was just in the firing line and she knew he could take it. She had held all this in so that Polly and Angus didn't see that they weren't in control and it was starting to overwhelm her.

"You should have seen his face. I thought he was going to vomit. I have never seen him look so scared and angry in my whole life and you know all the shit we have done and seen over the years. If he'd half a chance he would have killed Simon."

"Polly is taking this out on Adam and now I am doing the same." Jay came and sat next to Kim as she dropped down heavily in the chair. Her hands were shaking as he reached out for them. They had been friends a long time and this case had straddled the line between professional and personal, more that anything had done in a long time.

"He's got broad shoulders. So he faltered a little yesterday, he knows how you all feel about him."

"It's not about that."

"Kim, no one is going to go harder to protect Polly. You know that."

"I do." And she did know that so why couldn't she bear to see him or talk to him right now? It wasn't fair. He was doing his best, he had acknowledged that he felt he was letting her down by leaving everything at home up to her and Kim had reassured him that they were both doing what needed to be done. So why was she angry with him for blowing off steam? Why did she have this pit in her stomach because he tried to protect her from the worst of it?

Adam had called her several times. All he wanted was some reassurance that she was okay so she sent him a message saying she was _'fine'_ and would be home later. He was finally pissed off when she sent another message to say that she was catching up with Trudy for dinner and he needed to sort the kids out.

 _'Whatever Kim. That's two out of three people in this house who hate me. Let's hope I don't piss Gus off and make it a clean sweep. Maybe check back later and I can fill you in on how that's going.'_ He was being petty but she'd been gone for six hours and he'd got nothing.

Kim and Trudy didn't catch up all that often, only a couple of times a year did they get the chance for a girl's night out. Since her retirement she tried to spend most of winter out of Chicago. Kim missed her, she had been instrumental in not only her initial few years as a Police Officer but also in helping her pass her Sergeant exams. If Al was Adam's mentor then Trudy was Kim's and she was the first person she thought of when she needed to blow off more steam. As far as Adam was concerned she still terrorised him but they both loved it. Polly and Angus had hung off her every word when they were smaller and they were usually sitting waiting patiently by the door hours before Trudy was due to arrive when she would babysit and when they came home their house had usually been transformed into some blanket and pillow secret city and Trudy was always in the middle of it all.

"This is out of the blue, so what's the deal?" Trudy had been quick to say yes to dinner but knew there was a reason. She could still read Kim like a book.

"A rough week at home and I needed to catch my breath away from it all."

"You and Adam?" That would have surprised Trudy because they were pretty rock solid and had been for a long time. Not over the top sickly sweet and they certainly had rough patches but they were definitely one of the stayers in the marriage game. She had very little faith in Ruzek when he showed up all cocky and squeaky clean but he was as loyal as a dog and loved his family fiercely.

"Not really no. Just some really tough times with Polly and we are both a little stressed."

"What's Polly been up too? A little too much Ruzek?" Her brow furrowed a little when she saw the look of utter sadness on Kim's face. "You know I thought Gus would be the handful."

"She can be a little too much Ruzek that's for sure but not this time. You know Abbey?" Platt nodded. "Last weekend she attempted suicide and sent Polly a message, basically a suicide note and Adam managed to get her to the hospital in time." Kim watched the wine in the bottom of her glass as she swirled it around hoping it was suddenly going to give her the answers she was seeking. "Then we discovered was being sexually abused by her mother's partner."

"What the hell?" Trudy knew Abbey quite well, she was always around whenever they had a get together at the house and Polly and Abbey were hard to separate. She grabbed Kim's shaking hand. "How awful for both of them. You've got the guy?"

Kim nodded. "As you can imagine Polly's not coping well and started taking it out on Adam, he's busted his gut at work, along with the rest of Intelligence to get this asshole behind bars and we just had a blow up this morning about everything. I just needed some breathing space. It's all we've done and talked about for days." Kim couldn't stop the tears from tumbling freely down her cheeks.

"Oh Kim."

"Adam and I are trying really hard to make sure Polly is okay that I think we lost sight of how it's effecting us as well. He went out and got really drunk last night and I know I shouldn't be mad at him but I am."

"You know he has always needed to let things go at the end of a tough case. And this sounds like the toughest."

"Oh I know. We found out that this guy had photos of Polly too." Kim could see the look of horror on Trudy's face and reassured her instantly that Polly hadn't been involved. Trudy could still pull out the terrifying desk sergeant look at will and she looked like she was about to march downtown and create all sorts of havoc. Her kids seriously didn't know how lucky they were that they had this army behind them. "They were just photos of her and her friends. You know around the pool, laughing and mucking around. He didn't touch Polly."

"Thank God."

"I know; could you imagine Adam if that had been the case." Kim shuddered a little at the thought.

"Something I'd rather not think about to be honest."

"He didn't want to tell me and I know he was trying to protect me but I just up and left. I took off and now I don't want to go home." Kim pushed her food around her plate. Her appetite was non-existent and obviously Adam had started to notice it too hence his comment this morning about the muffin that she ordered and didn't eat. "I worry about what else he is not telling me."

"You have to go home and talk to him." Trudy wasn't about to let this ship run aground after all the shit they'd been through. "Kim, Adam is not going to keep anything from you but you know sometimes it takes him a while to spit it out."

"I know. I think I am just scared."

"Of what?"

"That something has happened to Polly and we won't be able to help her." Kim did exactly what Adam had done the previous night; she'd found a way to release the pressure and Trudy held her as she cried an ocean of tears.

Adam had called Jay late in the day when he still hadn't seen Kim. "Is she okay?" Halstead could hear the worry in his voice. He knew he'd done the right thing sending him home for a few days and seeing Kim so angry today had stunned him a little, she had always been the calm, rational parent. They were struggling but he had faith in them that they would sort it out. He'd make damn sure they did.

"She's upset."

"I know how she feels."

"Ruz, she's worried you aren't telling her something. I tried to explain to her that it was the photos but she knows there is something else, she knows Simon said something. You didn't tell her?"

"How could I? How could I look at my wife, the mother of my kids and tell her what a Paedophile said about my daughter. Jay, how the fuck do I tell her that?" He had taken the call outside and was way down the back of the yard. Even on the porch he knew if either Polly or Gus came down they would hear him and this was something he was determined never to let them hear one single word of this conversation.

"You know that was bluff, that was bullshit."

"Still?"

"Ruz, don't push Kim away. She needs you and I know you need her."

"Yeah sure, she needs me so much I haven't seen her since noon, she's not answering calls, I've got no fucking idea if and when she is coming home."

"She'll be home. You blew it off last night, give her a chance to do the same." Adam tilted his head back and let out a loud groan. Halstead was right but that didn't mean he didn't want her here right now.

Adam knocked on Polly's door. "Dinner is ready." And not surprisingly he got no answer so he knocked again.

Polly reefed open her door. "I heard you. I'm not hungry."

Adam threw his hands in the air; this house was so close to exploding it wasn't funny. "Don't care. Eat or don't eat it's fine by me but it's on the table and you will come downstairs and join us." He knew very well that she wouldn't eat but the only way you got out of dinner in this house was if you were sick or not home. She was neither so at the very least she had to sit at the table with everyone else. House rules were house rules and Adam wasn't breaking them just because everyone was in a bad mood.

"Is Mom home?"

"No."

"What did you do?"

"It's getting cold." Adam wanted to say something else, he wanted all this crap to stop but he just bit his tongue and headed downstairs without saying a word. Polly did join them and Angus, god love him tried his best to fill the awkward silence that surrounded the dinner table. As he expected Polly barely ate anything and that was starting to worry him as well. Both of the women in this house were running on empty. Adam asked Gus to clear the table and when Polly got up to leave Adam snapped his fingers and pointed to her chair. "Sit." He instructed her and she did sit and folded her arms across her chest and glared at her father.

Both her and Angus had learnt the hard way the one thing you did not do was ignore their father when he had something to say. It was far less painful to sit and take it than try and avoid it. They knew that they had it pretty good and that Adam was pretty laidback but when their father had an issue with your behaviour you knew about it.

"I talked to Abbey's Dad this afternoon." Suddenly Polly seemed a little more interested in what he had to say. For sure she thought she was about to get another lecture.

"And?"

"She is doing much better today. Abbey has a long road ahead of her and that includes some pretty serious therapy and counselling over the next few months but she should be home by the weekend."

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, tomorrow after school I will pick you up and take you in to see Abbey. She really wants to see you."

"Okay. Thanks." He could have sworn she was about to call him Dad, and like the first time she said Dad when she was a baby it would have been the sweetest sound. Instead he got a blank and an emotionless look. "Is that all?"

"Speaking of counselling, your Mom and I have organised some for you through school."

"Why?"

"Because it's school policy and it's not just for you, it's for all of Abbey's closet friends. You need it Pol."

"I don't." The defiant arms folded across her chest were like looking in a mirror. He did it all the time, his body language had always been a dead give away to his state of mind and when he folded his arms across his chest during a fight with Kim he could tell he was just pushing closer to the edge.

"You do Pol. We all do at some point in our lives."

"Do you have counselling?" She barked at him and Adam did his best not to bite back. He recalled the time he was sent to counselling when he shot someone for the first time just after he was pulled from the Academy and he was just as adamant as Polly that he didn't need it. At time it seemed like a bit of wank but over the years he'd learnt that it wasn't a bad thing and helped him more often than not to keep his head on straight.

"All the time. We have it at least four times a year, more often if the cases are really tough."

She appeared surprised by his answer and slightly sceptical. Surely he was just telling her this to convince her that she needed it too. "I've never heard about that."

"No because it's a private matter, there was never any need to tell you. Often your Mom has no idea what I talk about and vice versa, and we don't want to know what goes on in your sessions either. What you talk about is up to you. You can tell them how shit I am for all I care but it's not a choice Polly." Unimpressed was definitely the first words that sprung to mind when Polly eventually looked at him. "If you don't want to use the school appointed counsellor then we will find one for you outside of school. We could make you an appointment with our counsellor but I am sure that would feel weird for you so it's better if you had an independent counsellor, but it is happening. Like it or not."

"What if I don't talk?"

"Then you will waste five hours of you life because you have five sessions to get through. That's up to you."

"Then why waste your money?"

"It's not wasting our money, it's making sure we are doing everything we possibly can to help you through this. Polly this isn't about making things hard for you." Adam had no idea if it was making one scrap of difference because Polly's expression did not change. "I will be seeing my counsellor next week."

"Why?"

"Because of this case, because this is the hardest case I have ever had to deal with. Ever."

"Why? Because it's Abbey?"

"No, because of you Polly." He didn't know if she saw the tears in his eyes or heard the wobble in his voice, part of him hoped she did. "Because it involves you."

Kim was probably going to be pissed at him for talking to Polly about it without her but since she had chosen to disappear for the night he decided that he needed to be the parent and the sooner Polly knew about it the better. He'd deal with Kim later, if and when she came home. They would also deal the with photo issue together, so if Polly was going to get pissed off with him again it may as well be about something that wasn't quite such an emotional minefield.

"One more thing. I know you hate me right now, I don't really know why but I'll deal with it but Polly I love you so much."

"I know."

"When you are ready to talk to me I will be waiting, okay?"

"Okay." She pushed back her chair. "Can I go now?"

"Sure." He waved his hand. Leaning back in his seat he blew out a long slow breath and folded his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. He was surprised when he felt Gus's arms around his neck.

"I love you Dad."

Adam choked back a lump in his throat and he reached his arm up and ruffled his hair. "Love you too Buddy."

"Polly does too."

"Ahhhh Gus, sometimes I wonder."

He didn't need Gus to be worrying about all this as well. "She does Dad."

"I know bud, I know she does."

Adam leant forward and turned off the TV when he heard the key in the lock. He dropped the remote back on the table and stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. "Are you okay?" Kim jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Yes."

"Good." He stepped around her and headed upstairs to bed.

Before heading into their room Kim checked on the kids who were both asleep. "Adam." Kim crawled over the bed and was kneeling beside him. "Adam." She repeated and he rolled over slowly.

"I just wanted to know that you were okay?"

"I know, and I am."

"Good." Sitting up slightly he grabbed Kim by the back of the neck, kissed her quickly, told her he loved her and flopped back down on the bed. When Kim finally climbed into bed her only relief was that Adam instantly rolled over, curled his body around hers and draped one arm over her.

Tonight, while Adam was pressed into the back of her she still felt like they were a million miles away from each other.


	20. Different Paragraphs

Adam was out of the house before anyone was up. He needed to go for a run by himself; the pounding of the pavement beneath his feet was strangely therapeutic and he zoned out completely and didn't realise how far he'd run until he finally stopped to catch his breath. It had felt good and he'd fallen into such a smooth rhythm but now he needed to get home and he wasn't looking forward to that.

Kim had felt him get up and as always he kissed her forehead lightly. He was a creature of habit, he had a routine in the mornings and he never left the house if he could help it without having some contact with his wife. Almost twenty years they had been together and nothing had changed for him. He adored his wife; she held his heart completely in her hands.

By the time he got back Kim had obviously left with the kids to get them to school. When they were both working they always made their own way to school but if one of them was around they were more than happy to take them. In the blink of an eye they had gone from these helpless little babies safely cradled in their arms to walking, talking teenagers who could now experience heart break like the rest of them.

Kim found him in the kitchen standing at the fridge, door open and knocking back a bottle of water. He was dripping with sweat and stank to high heaven. No wonder Angus always hung from the door staring into the abyss waiting for something to jump out at him, he'd learnt it from his father. "Hey."

"Hi." He closed the door before Kim started nagging. "Before you say anything I think we should spend the day in bed."

"Really?"

"Yes I do." He took a couple of steps towards Kim and took off his sweaty t-shirt. "You can't say no to this?" Kim side stepped him and screwed up her nose but he could see her smirk. "I'm going to have a shower." He kissed her before she could dodge out of the way. "You need to join me." He didn't make it sound like it was an option.

He had barely stepped into the shower when Kim stripped off her clothes and joined him. She was going to make him wait but that was a fleeting thought as she watched him disappear up the stairs, stripped to the waist. He was irresistible, still to this day. "Why are we doing this?"

"Because we need it." He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tight against his body under the steaming water. "And because I love you and because you get me all hot and bothered."

"And so we don't have to talk?"

"We do have to talk and we have a lot to talk about, but we can do that later. Right now we need this." He sucked on her lower lip and felt her completely relax and turn to putty in his hands.

Again he had been right, they did need it. They couldn't remember the last time they had spent the day in bed just talking and playing and loving each other. Life got in the way, their kids got in the way and if they managed to spend a couple of hours a week with each other, even watching TV it was a bonus. As best they could they tried to keep their sex life fairly regular and once a week was their aim at a minimum. It didn't always work out that way and Adam would get antsy if work got in the way too often. The three months he had been undercover had turned him into an angry beast of a man and not just because of the shit he dealt with on the case but because he couldn't get his hands on his wife.

It had got so bad that he broke cover once just to sneak home in the middle of the night to re-connect with Kim. It was like popping a cork. He'd been hauled over the coals but it had felt good.

Today felt good.

Adam offered to go downstairs and do some hunting and gathering because when he said the day in bed, he meant it. He threw together some fruit and toasted a couple of bagels and made them a coffee to share. Kim sat cross-legged on the bed having found one of Adam's discarded shirts to pull on was waiting for him to come back. He looked a little disappointed when he came in and found her with clothes on. "This is all so fucked up Adam and I don't want it to be a problem between us. I should never have left you yesterday, I know you would do anything to protect Polly and Angus."

"And you." He handed Kim the plate and dropped down beside her on the bed.

"And me. I love that about you. I freaked out and I am sorry."

"It's okay." Adam touched her cheek. "You did exactly what I did the night before but I am still allowed to worry about it. I am still going to worry about you."

"We are quite the pair aren't we?"

"We are bumbling through this the best we can, and I am not sure we are getting it right half the time but we haven't given up and that's all we can do." Kim popped a strawberry in his mouth and his lopsided smile made Kim's heart melt.

"We are back on the same page, yeah?"

"Always have been Darlin' just on different paragraphs."

"Polly politely informed me that you told her about the counselling."

"How did she sound? Last night, pissed off was probably the best way to describe it." After they had finished that conversation it was the last time he had seen or heard from her all night. Every night he hoped that she would come down and see him and every night he was left disappointed. It was painful to live through his daughter hating him.

"Slightly less annoyed she also said that you told her that you loved her and that you would be waiting for her when she was ready to talk."

"I did indeed." He nodded as he reached for the coffee in her hands and took a mouthful.

"And that she feels bad that you think that she hates you." Kim knew how much this was hurting him and she tried to talk to Polly about how she needed to tell her Dad how she felt but was met with stony silence. Polly loved her Dad; probably more than she loved Kim to be honest and the struggle she was having with her feelings about men in general was hard to watch. She had every faith that they would get there but she just hated seeing Adam so upset by it.

"I feel bad too."

"She loves you Baby, you know she does."

"Be nice to hear it or feel it every now and then."

Kim put the plate on the side table, took the mug from his hands and crawled over towards him and rolled him onto his back, it didn't take much effort on her part because if Adam thought he was about to get lucky he was a pushover. Throwing one leg over his waist she straddled him and leant forward to capture his lips with hers. "I love you Baby." Kim lifted his shirt over her head. "You can feel my love right now if you want."

"You saw the photos?" Adam eventually rested his head on Kim's stomach, it was comforting feeling her hands running through his hair and they had been quiet for a little while, basking in the afterglow of yet another very satisfying round of sex.

"I did."

"And?"

"I know there was nothing terrible of Polly but I felt like there was. Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does. Even seeing a photo of my baby on that man's computer sent me over the edge. I want to kill him." He completely understood how Kim was feeling and wouldn't have expected her to feel otherwise. Perhaps it was one of the reasons he didn't want to tell her. Protecting Kim had been part of his make-up for two decades; it was instinct. He was running on his gut.

"I'll help you move the body."

"I bet you would." Adam laced his fingers through Kim's and rested them over his heart. "I am taking Polly to see Abbey today."

"Oh, she told me that. I think I may have seen a little bit of joy on her face."

"I hope Abbey is up for it."

"You know I think she was happy because you are taking her."

"Pfft." Adam scoffed. "Doubt it."

The toughest part was yet to come for Adam. "I want to tell you something." He sat up and faced Kim, holding both her hands tightly and he knew by the look on Kim's face that she was preparing herself for the worst. "This stays in this room. We talk about this now and then it's done, okay? I wont' talk about it again."

Kim nodded, she was biting at the corner of her bottom lip and he felt her hands shake. He leant forward and briefly kissed her, hoping to give her some courage. "The day we interviewed Simon I know I told you he said something about Polly."

"What did he say?"

Adam would never forget it, it was burned into his brain and only the copious amount of alcohol he'd drunk had numbed the pain momentarily. He could never forget those words or the smug look on his face. _'Man that Polly Ruzek, if I'd got hold of her she wouldn't have walked for weeks. I would have had her begging for mercy. Those lips, I know what I'd make her do with them.'_

"Kim, I wanted to kill him, I would have killed him with my bare hands." His voice was shaking as he told his wife exactly what was said.

"Adam." She just broke down in his arms, her body was wracking with sobs and he cried with her. The only time he'd seen her this distraught and hurt was when she lost the baby and he never wanted to see that again. Yet here they were but at least they were clinging to each other rather than pushing each other away. It felt so raw, if ever they were going to feel like they were one person it was now, there was nothing between them, not a scrap of clothing or material. They could feel each other's skin pressed together, every emotion and every inch of heartbreak. It was pure love and pure devastation.

"Kim, I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you. It's too much. I don't want Polly to know, ever. This doesn't get talked about again. He didn't touch her, he can't touch her." They agreed, somewhat painfully that not telling Polly was the only option available to them. The only other people who knew were Halstead, Atwater and Olinsky and they would move heaven and earth to protect Polly from this. He'd ask Halstead to remove it from the transcript of the Interview and bury it. They were doing it for their daughter and he didn't care if it was illegal or not. This was not an option.

Kim finally understood why Adam had gone out and got drunk. Her heart broke for him having to hear that and seeing him so vulnerable, as he was right now had always been tough to handle. Adam was her strength; he made her keep going on the toughest of days. She was scared this was going to break him and then she wouldn't know what to do.

It was a gut wrenching few hours for them both but at the very least they were back on the same page and paragraph. "How's Trudy anyway?" Adam was getting dressed to go and pick up Polly. Angus had Baseball training after school so if he wasn't done with Polly and Abbey at the hospital by the time he finished Kim would go get him.

"Good. I think she's missed you." Kim chuckled. Trudy would never admit it, not in a pink fit and neither would Adam but they bounced off each other and it was hilarious to watch. "We should catch up soon."

"Sure. Sounds good." His lack of enthusiasm was evident. He just wasn't keen to talk about all this with every tom, dick and harry. A tiny little bit of him wanted to hide them all away from the world where nothing could hurt them again. Irrational? Yes, absolutely but nonetheless it was how he felt.

Kim was straightening the sheets. "Adam?"

"Kim, it's fine. Set something up, but a few weeks at least. Let's get over this speed hump first." Before he left the room he pulled Kim tight against his body. "Thank you for today."

"It felt good hey?"

"It was just what we needed." The kiss was long and slow and deep and despite some harrowing moments it did feel good to just spend the time together and reiterate just how much they loved each other and their children.

"How was your day?" Adam asked Polly as she climbed into his Truck.

"Fine."

"Mine was awesome, thanks for asking. I spent the whole day with your Mom."

"I thought Mom would be coming."

"You disappointed?" Polly said nothing and turned her head away to face out the window. Guess he should be glad that she wasn't giving him a gob full of attitude. "Do you want to stop and have a coffee or something first?"

"No. Can we stop and get Abbey something though?"

"Sure." Adam had tried. He knew it was fruitless but at least she could never accuse him of not trying. They had often stopped for a coffee or cake when they were out together. "What do you want to get?" Polly had decided to get Abbey some Oreo's. They loved to share them together, they would often sit on the floor in their bedrooms laughing and giggling over boys and Oreo's. She missed those times and wanted Abbey to remember them too. Hopefully it would remind them both of a time when things were good and they could start to talk about some happy memories again because Polly really wanted to remember those times.

They pulled into a grocery store and as she grabbed the Oreo's Polly also reached for a packet of Gummy Bears. Adam saw her face drop just a little when she realised what she was doing. She was grabbing them for Sam. "Have you talked to Sam?"

"No."

"Why not?" Adam was on thin ice, he knew it but he was desperate to know what was going on with her. They were wary of the slightest little thing tripping her up and if Sam was going to be another pothole he wanted to know about it sooner rather than later.

"He doesn't understand." She shrugged and sounded so sad.

"Oh Polly." Adam was heartened by the fact that when he rested his hand on her back she didn't flinch. "I think Sam could really help you right now. Talk to him."

"I can't worry about him. He only wants one thing, you all do." Adam didn't like Polly assertion that all men wanted the same thing. He was pretty sure that Sam did want to have sex with her, he was a teenage boy after all but he never got the impression that he was only hanging around Polly for just that. He wouldn't have lasted this long in his house if that was all he was chasing.

"Talk to Sam, tell him how you feel."

"Can we go?" Polly signalled that it was the end of that conversation and honestly Adam was surprised it had gone that far but he did feel there were a few little cracks starting to appear in this wall she had built around herself and that maybe he wouldn't be the devil incarnate for much longer.

Abbey's reaction to Polly was the extreme opposite of the other day. There were still tears but she didn't push Polly away this time, this time they hung onto each other. Abbey still didn't tell Polly what Simon did to her but they did talk about what was going on with school and their friends. "My Dad is making me go to counselling."

"That's good Pol. Don't let this eat you from the inside. I let it fester and it's not good."

"It didn't happen to me though."

"No, thank god. Your Dad has been great you know?" Abbey nodded towards Adam who was sitting outside the room totally engrossed in his phone. He had what felt like a million emails banked up that he needed to delete. "I thought he'd lose it over the photos but he was pretty calm."

"What photos?"

"The photos of you."

"I don't know what you are talking about." Polly got a feeling that this was obviously what had gone down between her parents. She wasn't stupid. Her Dad had gone out and got blind drunk and slept in the spare room and then her mother had taken off and didn't come home until late last night. Photos? What Photos?

"Simon had photos of all of us."

"I didn't do anything." Polly literally screamed and Adam's head snapped up. "He didn't touch me."

"Polly. I know. They were just photos. I shouldn't have said anything I am sorry." Abbey grabbed hold of Polly who was shaking uncontrollably.

"My parents are going to think I am lying."

"They don't Polly."

What little light Adam had seen at the end of the tunnel with regards to Polly's attitude was snuffed out. "You think I am lying. Nothing happened. I don't know anything about any photos." She yelled at Adam when he came into the room to see what was going on. Polly pushed past him angrily and took off down the hall and Adam squeezed Abbey's hand quickly and told her not to worry before he sprinted after Polly and caught up with her at the lifts. "I didn't do anything wrong." She screamed.

"We know Polly."

"So you've seen them?"

"Yes, I have and so has your Mom."

"You didn't believe me? You don't trust me. I told you nothing happened, he didn't touch me."

"Polly I do trust you. I had to see the photos, they were part of the case." Adam could sense that Polly was losing it. "And forgive me for wanting to make sure you weren't hurt by him. We needed to make sure those photo's weren't all over the internet and in the hands of other people who would use them for god knows what. Trust us to do our job and our job is to protect people like you and your friends. More than that Polly, trust me to take care of you, you are my daughter."

"I told you nothing happened."

"Okay Polly. Can we please calm down? Let's talk about this at home." They were starting to draw a crowd. He waved them away as the lift doors opened and ushered Polly inside.

"No, I am not going home with you. I want to see them." She snapped at him.

"Okay. I'll talk to Jay but not right now." He wanted to have this conversation together with Kim; she would calm Polly down. Even when he tried to reach out to touch her hand she snatched it away and glared at him.

"No, no you won't. You have them, I want to see them." She tried to grab the phone from his hand and Adam stopped her by pushing her hand away and she didn't like it. It would have been pointless anyway, he didn't have the photos on his phone and his phone was security protected because of work so that no one else could pick it up and get into it. Polly wouldn't have been able to access it but he still wasn't putting up with this crap. This they didn't do. He never looked at her phone and he expected the same courtesy.

"I don't have them Polly." She turned away from him and Adam sighed and just stood and watched her wrap her arms around herself and continue to fall apart in front of his very eyes. When the doors opened he was relieved when she at least let him rest a hand on her shoulder and guide her out through a small crowd of people to the car although it was now under the watchful eye of two security guards. Once he helped Polly in the car he swung around and pulled out his CPD ID hoping to get them to back off.

"It's all good, she's my daughter." One of the security guards checked out his ID while the other approached Polly and knocked on her window, pissing Adam off no end.

"You okay love? Do you need some help? Can we call someone to come and get you?"

"Back the fuck off." He growled as the other security guard stepped between him and his car to stop him getting to Polly. These idiots were messing with the wrong guy at precisely the wrong time and when one of them put his hand on Adam's chest to stop him getting anywhere near his car he just about lost it. "Get your hand off me."

Polly was mortified and leapt out of the car and pushed the security guard away. "He's my Dad, leave him alone." She screamed. "Don't you touch him, he's my Dad."

"Polly, its okay." Adam reached out for her as the security guard rested his hand on her arm to get her to stop. "Get your hands off her." He warned them. Polly suddenly buried her head in Adam's chest and wrapped her arms around his waist and he could feel the terror coursing through her. Having a man try and grab her had sent her over the edge and her reaction had shocked Adam as she clung to him for dear life. "You need to leave." He growled at the two security guards and they backed off.

Adam tried to soothe her, whispering over and over again that he had her and that he loved her and she was safe with him until she started to calm down. "I want to go home." Polly sobbed. Adam got her in the car and he was at least grateful that while she obviously didn't like him right now she was still fiercely protective of him. She didn't say another word to him on the way home. What concerned Adam the most was her reaction to someone touching her even though it was just on the arm and the obvious fear she exhibited and her absolute distress.

Kim looked at Adam as he followed Polly inside. She flew up the stairs without saying a word and the look on Adam's face told her that things had not gone well. "What happened? I thought Abbey wanted to see her?"

"She did and that was all going well until Abbey told Polly about the photos and now she thinks that I didn't believe her that Simon didn't touch her. Then as we were leaving she was hysterical and we got followed by two security guards and they tried to separate us and asked Polly if she was okay and she lost it Kim, like seriously lost it. She pushed this guy and when he grabbed her arm she was terrified and so was I. I hate seeing her like this."

"Oh God, Adam."

"She was screaming at them that I was her Dad and to leave me alone and suddenly she's throwing herself at me and hanging onto me but Kim she is terrified and so unstable, I don't know what to do. I don't know what she wants…" He threw his hands up in desperation. "….Kim I can't keep doing this."

"Adam. She wants you to be there for her, she just doesn't know how to ask for help."

"I want to help her, this is not Polly. This is not my daughter."

"It is Polly, she's just struggling to deal with this and you are helping, just being here for her is helping, I know it doesn't feel like it right now."

"She won't talk to us, she won't talk to or see Sam."

"Did you ask her about Sam?"

"Yes I did, she was talking to me for a while on the way to the hospital but she thinks he's only after one thing, like all men are. Not sure I like that either. I mean I don't think she is in any fit state to be having any type of relationship right now but she was so close to Sam and happy with him so this is just so out of the blue."

"I think she'll come back to Sam eventually. I just don't think she can cope with both things at once." Adam hoped that Kim was right because this was seriously getting out of control. It was early days, he knew that and everything was still raw but it still scared the crap out of him.

"She wants to see the photos, she thinks I have them."

"Let me talk to her."

"No, we do it together."

"She might open up more if I talk to her."

"No. We said from the start that we were not going to shy away from anything and there is no way Polly is going to come back in a week, a month or a years time and say 'you didn't care or you didn't trust me'…not going to happen." Adam had spoken and quite frankly there was no point arguing with him. At some point she had to know that she couldn't keep behaving like this, if she needed help she had to tell them how to help her because they were at a loss.

It took quite a bit of convincing to get Polly to come downstairs and eventually Kim just told her to move it and the way she threw herself down on the couch when Adam told her to sit certainly didn't get things off on the right foot. Adam turned the TV off when Polly started watching that rather than look at them. That little display of love she had for him back at the hospital was well and truly a distant memory.

"Firstly, that incident with the security guards, tell me Polly what scared you? Because it scared me, your reaction scared me." Adam and Kim sat together, they wanted to show Polly that they were in this together and Kim knew that she needed to stick close to Adam to keep him from losing it if Polly started acting up.

"They were going to take you away. They thought you were like Simon and you are not." It was a small concession of love on her part despite it being delivered with so little emotion but Adam was going to take anything at the moment.

"No, they weren't. They were doing their job. They shouldn't have touched you though. That made me angry too but I am sure they just wanted to make sure you were safe. I am glad I was there to help you though."

"I don't want anyone to touch me."

"That's okay Sweet Pea, really it is. He had no right to put his hand on you but Polly you pushed him."

"He was going to hurt you."

"I wouldn't let that happen, but I didn't like how upset it made you. I hate seeing you like this Polly. I want to help you, please let me help you." Adam was almost begging.

Adam and Kim watched her for a minute but she didn't say anything else so they had to move on. "You are upset about the photos?"

"Wouldn't you be? You didn't believe me so went looking for photos to prove that I am lying." She snapped back at Adam. It was like the previous conversation had been put in a box and she had closed the lid on it. Pretty much like the whole episode at the hospital had happened, one minute she was yelling at him and then she was defending him and once they were back in the car the hate had returned. Adam almost had whiplash.

"Since when has it been okay to talk to us like that?" Despite his own confusion and frustration he managed to keep his voice calm. "I did not go looking for those photos because I didn't believe you. We were shown them because it was part of this case, I explained that to you and we had a right to know, as do you. I wish I had never seen them. I wish they didn't exist."

"Dad, I didn't know about them I swear." At least she called him Dad even if she was now this emotional mess in front of them and that made Adam soften instantly as Kim left his side and sat with Polly, sliding her arm around her shaking shoulders. Adam desperately wished that was him, he wished that he could do that for her right now but he had to settle for watching her mother comfort her.

"Polly we know. We know you didn't know about them and we know you didn't lie to us. Simon took those photos without permission. This is not your fault."

"I don't understand any of this."

"I wish, with all my heart that you never had to deal with something like this." Adam held his hand over his heart. "It kills me and I would do anything, anything to change what happened, but I can't."

"Can I see them?"

"If that's what you want." Kim still wasn't sure Polly was ready to see them. Perhaps when things settled down a little and Polly was a little less emotional but Adam would do anything to win Polly over at this stage. "I will call Jay tomorrow and organise for you to see them. They are part of the case so we need his permission."

"Will you be there too?" Surprisingly she looked at her father and he felt Kim squeeze his leg lightly. "Will you come with me?"

"Absolutely." His voice wobbled just a little. "Absolutely Polly."


	21. Friend Zone

Sam had suddenly found himself firmly back in the friend zone and to be honest that was being generous, she was barely acknowledging him and he didn't like it, it was not were he wanted to be and he struggled with it. He tried to understand and be patient but it was hard. Polly just wasn't interested in anything other than Abbey and that meant she had little time for him and he had no idea if she still considered him as her boyfriend.

Now he was lucky to get a conversation from her at all as most of his phone calls went unanswered or they were very short. Every night he sent her a good night message and sometimes he got a reply but most days he didn't. He just didn't know where he stood anymore.

He did know that Polly had tried to take on some of the responsibility for Abbey's overdose because they didn't like her boyfriend Jamie but didn't do anything about it. They chose to spend less time with them when they were together. Not that Abbey was likely to listen anyway; she seemed to like him and was much happier than she had been in a long time. Sam wasn't Abbey's greatest fan in the beginning; he didn't like the way she treated Polly early on so he felt like he couldn't really say much. Her behaviour towards him when he first started showing an interest in Polly was pretty repulsive and the way she talked to Polly on some occasions made his blood boil but she took it and the few times Sam tried to talk to her about it she shut him down. So he bit his tongue and as things settled down he started to like her, she could be a lot of fun and when Abbey was feeling good she was a great friend to Polly.

When Jamie came on the scene Abbey was happy and pretty much left them alone, she threw herself into that relationship. Jamie, who was a little older than them, was also a complete fuckwit who seemed to be basically interested in Abbey for one thing and that was obvious the moment he dumped her when she opened up to him about her abuse.

He also used to hang it on Sam because he wasn't getting 'pussy' from Polly and asked him why was he hanging around if he wasn't getting laid? Obviously Abbey had told him because they never mentioned it. Sam wasn't really bothered that Polly talked to Abbey about sex, he figured that's what girlfriends did but what he didn't like was that Abbey talked to Jamie about it. When he mentioned it to Polly she got all defensive and basically told him to back off. Polly just wanted to see Abbey happy and why was Sam trying to ruin that so they would catch up when the boys weren't around and everyone was happy with that.

She also took a while to come around to the fact that her mother approaching Janice had put this all in motion, it was hard to see that it was a positive when Abbey ended up where she did. If anyone was to blame for forcing Abbey's hand it was this guy and Simon, not Polly and it took her a while to accept that.

The photos didn't help although Polly dealt with them better than they thought she would.

Once Abbey was home from hospital she was leaning heavily on Polly for everything. So much so that even her parents were starting to worry that it was getting too much for Polly to handle. Kim had called Sam and invited him back for Sunday dinner when he hadn't been seen for a couple of weeks. Polly just shrugged when Kim asked her if they had broken up and Sam apparently had no idea what was going on.

Polly seemed happy enough to see him when he did show up for dinner and Sam tried desperately to show her how much he cared but she didn't give him a lot to work with and he was just as confused as before. Adam should have been happy that Polly wasn't interested in getting too close to Sam but he wasn't because this wasn't Polly. Before this all happened sometimes he felt like he needed a crowbar to prise them apart.

Kim and Adam took it upon themselves to try and put some distance between the girls, which was not well received and Polly basically ignored them and continued to do whatever she wanted and while they were at work they couldn't stop her. Not that they wanted Polly to walk away from her friend but she was taking to much upon herself and everything else was starting to suffer, including her school work and as far as they could tell her budding relationship with Sam had floundered.

It wasn't because they weren't proud of her for trying to help out her friend but it wasn't healthy, for her or for Abbey.

When Polly got into a fight at school enough was enough. They understood why she did it but physical violence was a step to far. Polly had shoved a girl against her locker and punched her in the face. Without a doubt she deserved it but that didn't make it right and having Polly heading down this path was not what they wanted or expected.

Polly was defending her friend and Abbey's return to school had been harsh. People talked about her behind her back or they ignored her out of fear of not knowing what to say which was a little easier to understand but still hard for Abbey to handle. They were young and this was something pretty confronting however when some nasty piece of work called her a slut and that it was probably all her fault Polly had snapped and jumped in and took on the girl. She was wild and it took two teachers to restrain her. Adam and Kim were far from impressed to get that phone call. Adam had stormed downstairs and basically hauled Kim out to the car and ranted to her the entire way to the school. He'd had a gutful of her bad behaviour, they'd tried to give her a chance to right herself but she was getting more and more out of control and it had to stop.

Polly was still full of spit and fire when they both rocked up, her Mom in uniform and her Dad didn't even bother to hide his badge or gun and his face was like thunder. He didn't even speak to Polly as he stormed into the office; he was too pissed off. Whereas in the past she would have dissolved into tears the moment her parents walked in this time she was stubbornly sulking in the corner with her arms crossed across her chest in defiance. The more she refused to apologise or back down the angrier Adam got and Polly was lucky to get out of there in one piece. Kim sent him back to work while she stayed home with Polly, who had been suspended for two days because Adam was so close to exploding it wasn't funny and that wasn't going to help anyone. Everyone needed to take a deep breath and calm down.

It was all falling apart in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it. Polly was spiralling out of control, Angus basically did anything not to be at home and Kim was barely eating and she was fading away before his very eyes. They were trying to hold their kids together while they barely took a moment for themselves but thankfully they had friends who stepped up and kept them at the very least pointing in the same direction.

The epic emotional shit storm that erupted when Polly was told that she had to step back from Abbey a little left both Adam and Kim reeling and living in a house with a teenage girl who did not utter a word for days was far from pleasant. Adam had commented how Kim now knew what it felt like to be hated by their daughter too, which wasn't particularly well received and he'd copped Kim's abuse on the chin. They allowed her to see Abbey two days a week after school and either on Saturday or Sunday and that went down like a lead balloon.

It was an ugly few days when Adam would drive to the school and pick Polly up and bring her back the district where she had to sit and wait for one of them to finish work. The break room basically became a no-go zone some days because of the fire breathing teenage dragon that inhabited it.

When Abbey told Polly that she was moving to New York to stay with her father for a while she blamed her parents, somewhat irrationally. She felt that if they hadn't stopped her seeing Abbey she could have helped her and made her stay. It wasn't until Abbey explained to Polly that it was her decision, that she couldn't stay in Chicago with all these memories and it would be the best thing for her to go away for a while that she started accept it and deal with it. Abbey begged her not to blame her parents because they had been such a source of strength for her throughout this whole sorry situation and she couldn't have made it this far without them. Abbey also told her to rethink what she doing with Sam, because she liked them together and that she would need Sam when she was gone.

From the moment she came home from hospital she was invited back for dinner on Tuesday nights as soon as she felt up to it and Abbey did come back and those dinners helped her enormously in those early days. Those evening dinners were like nothing had happened, nothing changed and it was a place where Abbey could just be Abbey and she felt safe and happy in the Ruzek house.

They promised Polly that they would take her to New York to visit as soon as Abbey had settled in.

There were tears for days before she left and all through it Sam stood on the sidelines and he missed her like crazy. Adam had told him to not lose contact with her and to be her friend if that was all she wanted. He knew Sam would eventually get through to her but he had to keep going and at one point he told Adam he was not sure that he could. He'd come into the District in desperation because he knew Polly would be furious if she found out he was talking to her Dad behind her back but he just didn't know what else to do. Adam never thought he would be pushing Polly's boyfriend to spend more and more time with her, but just as Sam was desperate to see Polly, Adam was just as desperate to get his daughter back.

Sam kept on messaging her, calling her, stopping by and inviting her out for ice-cream or to the movies or just for a drive, sometimes she went and sometimes she refused but he didn't stop asking. When she did go out with him they talked about Abbey a lot and how she thought Abbey was doing and occasionally she would talk a little about how she was feeling. Most of the conversation he kept to himself because Polly asked him to but he did assure her parents that she was talking about things she just wasn't talking about them and their relationship or quite frankly if they had a relationship at all. She wouldn't even hold his hand.

Their biggest fear was that Polly was going to fall down a hole and that it was going to be so deep that she would struggle to get back out. Sam could see how worried her parents were and Polly would also rant to him about them, how they were stopping her from seeing and helping Abbey and that they didn't care. It wasn't true, he kept telling her that. He kept telling her that they were out of their mind with worry about her but he had no idea how much of it was getting through.

It would have been easy for him to walk away but he couldn't. He just liked her too damn much. He couldn't stop himself falling in love with her.

Sam's parents worried about him too. They worried that he was taking on too much trying to fix Polly but they were also proud of him for not giving up on someone when things got hard. He was learning some very tough lessons about life and falling in love. It wasn't easy. It wasn't the cute dates, stolen kisses and sweet glances that he expected. It was harsh and brutal and hard to fathom some days.

One day Polly reached out and slipped her hand into his when Sam had picked her up and taken her out for breakfast and for the first time in weeks he didn't feel like she was just going through the motions. When she asked him about school and his job she genuinely seemed interested in what he was doing. When they got back to the car, Sam opened the door for her and Polly looked at him and suddenly burst into tears. She apologised for pushing him away, she told him that she missed him and wanted to make things right between them. The watery kiss he got was all that he wanted and they spent the day together and Polly didn't let go of his hand.

Adam found Kim standing at the window staring outside and when he asked her what she was looking at she pointed at Sam and Polly. In the past he didn't need to see his daughter kissing her boyfriend but today they actually both thought it was perfect, he reached slipped his arm around her shoulder and they stood and watched them for a few moments. Sam was back in the boyfriend zone and Polly now just had to let him know where she wanted their relationship to start from again and it seemed like he had to be content to go back to the beginning.

Adam and Kim breathed a sigh of relief as their daughter came back to them. It had been more than a month of pure hell but their bright, funny, sweet and smart daughter who had a big heart started to shine back through. Sure the heart was now a little scarred but it was still a big beautiful heart.

And they couldn't help but admire Sam for sticking it out.

A/N: _**This was bit of a weird chapter to write as it has no dialogue in it, it was also a bit of a filler to basically move the story forward a bit. Hope it makes sense.**_


	22. Just Before Dawn

Sam took her up to the Summer House because he knew she loved it up there. They didn't talk much about Abbey and that was Polly's decision, she asked him if they could leave it alone for a day. It had consumed her for too long and Polly was trying really hard to get everything back in balance. Sam was more than happy with that and was determined to spend the day making her laugh and little else; he just wanted to spend time together away from everything and everyone and whatever happened from there he was content to wait and see. He was with Polly and that was perfect as far as he was concerned.

Walking along the beach Polly looked content, she was happy to hold Sam's hand and since she had reached out to him a few weeks ago she held his hand at every opportunity, it felt safe for her and that's what she needed. They stopped at the small playground about half a mile from the house and jumped on the swings. Sam watched her closely and as she swung back and forward through the air, swinging her legs back and forth she looked happy and for those few minutes she looked free. He eventually jumped off his swing and stood in front of her and as she swung forward her grabbed her ankles and Polly squealed a little as he halted her motion but the smile lit up her face and Sam walked forward and lowered her down and then covered her hands with his as they held onto the chains. Leaning in he pressed his lips gently against hers. "I love hearing you laugh." It was a beautiful sight when she did.

"I haven't done this in such a long time."

"What swing or laugh?"

"Both."

"Today you get to do both, today you can do whatever you want."

"This is what I want." She tilted her head up and accepted a longer, slower kiss from him before he let her go, stood behind and gently started pushing her again, helping her swing through the air and let her enjoy the feeling of freedom for a little while longer before she jumped off, slipped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his chest for a few minutes before they started heading back. He was grounding her; he had stopped her spinning out of control. The hardest thing she did was reach out to him again. The overwhelming fear she had was that it would be too late and that stopped her a few times. One day he'd been at the house and she had wanted to tell him how she felt but got scared, he'd said something and she couldn't remember what it was but it had made her panic. The day she did finally give in, when she couldn't hold it in anymore it felt like a knot in her stomach had suddenly been released. Her tears felt hot and never ending as they spilled down her cheeks and he spent the day wiping them away.

It wasn't all one-way traffic though, even if lately it seemed that way. Sam could get a little too into his own head with regards to his study. He'd stress about an upcoming exam and get frustrated with people trying to talk him down or interrupt him. If he didn't know something at work he'd obsess over it if he couldn't figure it out and Polly often was the one who got him to take a step back and breath and sometimes it wasn't pretty. They seemed to be able to balance each other, they didn't always agree on things but they kept each other in check.

They hung out at the beach for a while, Sam let Polly make a mermaid's tail out of sand over his half buried body and it gave Sam a chance to just lie back, tuck his hands behind his head and watch his girlfriend enjoy herself while he could just appreciate the view. As soon as she stood up and declared that she was done and snapped a photo Sam broke free scooped her up and threw her effortlessly over his shoulder and carried her squealing to the water's edge and threatened to dump her in it. "Don't you dare?" she giggled.

"Or what?"

"Or…." Polly tried to think of something but was coming up a loss. "…Or I'll…"

"Tick, tock Pol, tick, tock." He drummed his fingers on the back of her thigh.

"I won't kiss you again."

"Yes you will." He unceremoniously dumped her in the water. Polly was quick enough and managed to keep hold of one of Sam's arms and dragged him down with her. It was the closest they'd been to each other in a while and it was hard for Sam to keep it casual as they mucked about in the water, he enjoyed being able to feel her skin beneath his fingers and when she jumped on his back and wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck he could feel her body pressed against the his bare back and he found it hard to concentrate. But that's all it had been for the past few weeks, pretty casual. Sam didn't put a lot of pressure on her and was guided by her pace. If he was brutally honest it wasn't nearly quick enough for him though. Getting Polly back was one thing, moving her along was another.

Eventually they hightailed back to the house once the sun had dipped a little lower and the air started to chill quickly. Polly jumped in the shower to warm up while Sam made them a cup of tea and some toasted sandwiches. After drying off her hair she curled her feet up under herself and wrapped herself up in a rug and waited for him to come back, she let her mind wander and she was surprised that all she thought about was Sam. Recently he'd been the furthest thing from her mind but now she liked that it was him she thought about again.

She really did love this place. It was big and warm and comfortable. It felt lived in even though it was empty most of the time. It had huge couches that you could sink into, spread out on and more importantly cuddle up together on. A cracking fire surrounded by comfy leather chairs so that you could curl up with a book and a huge dining table that seated twelve. Sam had told her stories about weekends and holidays spent up here when he was growing up. The bedrooms were big and warm, with huge beds piled high with cushions and quilts and Sam had shown her his room and they'd spent some time in there before everything went pear shaped.

Luckily for Polly Sam had grown up with his brother being a chef so it wasn't just a normal toasted sandwich either, he'd made sure he had packed enough things so that he could make them something for lunch and had bought a lot of Polly's favourites. He was glad she was eating again because she had lost some weight recently and seeing her in her bikini had worried him a little.

"I need to feed you." He had commented when Polly had first stripped off down at the beach.

"You sound like my Dad." The reply wasn't exactly gushing with warmth and when she said Dad it almost made her lip curl.

"Just saying." She had grabbed her shirt and pulled it back on.

"Don't." he reached for the shirt but the way Polly glared at him certainly stopped him in his tracks, he'd over stepped the mark. Boundaries were certainly being set and some days they seemed to be right back at the beginning, today Sam took a step back, not that he wanted too but he wanted Polly more than anything so if that was what he had to do he would do it in a heartbeat. It was hard to judge where they were each day in regards to how close Polly wanted to be to him, but he was trying to read her signals. It wasn't long before she relaxed again and took off her shirt and he got to enjoy the view and despite her being a little on the skinny side he thought she was still beautiful and he held his tongue.

He handed Polly her tea and they shared the plate of sandwiches between them. Sam started talking about work and soon had Polly laughing with some of the things that happened with the animals and how he managed to get covered head to toe in shit on his first day working in the elephant enclosure.

"And man, it stinks. Like soak into your bones stink." Polly screwed up her nose and laughed. "Even in my ears. I swear it took days to get the stink off me." The thing that Sam liked the most was that her laugh reached the very corner of her eyes. It was the sweetest sound and he could have listened to it all day.

"Oh my poor baby." She reached out and patted his cheek. "Glad I didn't smell that."

Polly noticed a flash of something on Sam's face and she challenged him. "Honestly I hate that you didn't."

"Really? You wanted me to smell elephant shit?"

"No, I wanted you to be around though."

"Sorry." Polly's head sagged forward.

Sam reached out and wound his fingers through hers and bought them up to his lips, kissing them softly. They hadn't really got very close yet, he'd certainly kissed her again, a lot but that hot desperate feeling they were starting to experience before everything turned to shit hadn't returned and it wasn't because Sam didn't want it too. He did and he was anxiously waiting for Polly to let him know it was okay.

"I just missed you."

"I know." Polly leant forward and placed her empty cup and plate on the table, all the while not letting go of Sam's hand, he was watching their hands rather than look at her.

"You know what I did like?"

"Hmm." Polly rested her head on the back of the couch and continued to play with his fingers.

"Just then, you called me 'my poor baby.' I liked that, I like feeling that I am yours, I like being your boyfriend."

"I like you being my boyfriend too." Polly closed her eyes. "I feel guilty."

"Why? Polly, it's not your fault."

"No, I feel guilty being here with you."

"We aren't doing anything wrong."

"I know." He could feel her grip tighten a little and she refused to open her eyes because she could feel him staring at her and just for a moment she didn't want to see whatever he was thinking, and more than that she didn't want to see pity in his eyes or a look telling her that she was being stupid. "I feel guilty about being happy again. I feel bad, because Sam I don't want to be miserable anymore."

"Oh Baby. Look at me." Polly may not have wanted to look at Sam but he had no such qualms, he hadn't taken his eyes off her. "You know you can still feel sad for Abbey and enjoy your life too? You can still be happy and do things that make you feel good. You can still laugh, and I love to hear you laugh. We can go out and enjoy ourselves, that doesn't mean that you've forgotten anything that's happened. Okay?"

She nodded her head. "Okay." Polly smiled as Sam used the edge of his shirt to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Will you help me?"

There was no hesitation from Sam. "Yes."

Polly surprised him by leaning forward and kissing him and the longer they kissed the closer he pulled her until she was lying on top of him. She slipped a hand under his shirt and dug her fingers into his back. "Oh Polly." He muttered against her cheek.

"What?" She tried to pull away but Sam had a tight grip on her waist.

"I've missed you."

"You smell good." Polly buried her head in his neck and breathed him in. "I just want to stay here for a bit longer."

"We can do that. What do you want to do?"

"Just kiss you."

"I thought you weren't going to kiss me anymore?"

"I lied." Polly squirmed and squealed as Sam started tickling her until she was begging him to stop.

"Tell me something you haven't told me yet."

"I'm sacred." That made Sam stop instantly, that certainly got his attention and he pushed himself into sitting position. He was expecting something a little more light-hearted.

"Nope, I already know that." He shook his head, turning it slightly to the side and waited for her to continue. "About what? You need to tell me if you want me to help you."

"Okay." Polly sat up and took a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm scared that I don't know how to have a relationship with you."

"We are already in a relationship, we have been for a while." He waved his hand when Polly looked like she was about to say something. "Despite our little hiccup." And as far as he was concerned that was all it was, a pause. "The question is Polly, do you want to be in a relationship with me?"

"Yes, God yes Sam. I do." Polly kissed him quickly trying to reassure him. This was playing into all the insecurities she had about whether she'd left it too late and that perhaps she'd missed her chance. Was he worried she was going to back out again? Maybe the damage had been done.

"Then that's what we'll do."

"But it's not easy for me right now."

"Polly, its not easy for us. I'm here too, I'm in this with you."

"What about the next part? We can't keep just doing this." Vaguely Polly waved a hand between them.

"This, what? What's wrong with this?"

"I know you want more."

"Sex?" Polly dropped her head; she didn't want him to see her anxiety. Sam curled a chunk of her hair around his finger; she used to like that. When they were just hanging out watching TV or a movie he would play with her hair and Polly never stopped him, he would do it without thinking and he was happy to do it again and see what the reaction was. He tucked it behind her ear and ran his fingers along her jaw and lifted her chin so that she had no option but to look at him.

"Polly, real talk time. I am just going to say it so there is no misunderstanding. Yes, I absolutely want to have sex with you." He held her head steady as she tried to look away, he couldn't stop her eyes darting away though so he waited and said nothing until she looked at him again. "One day, not today, or tomorrow or even next week but one day I think it will happen and I want that almost more than anything. The only thing I want more than that, is this..." He waved his hand in between them both. "…being with here with you. Spending time alone with just you right now is perfect. It's enough."

"That's what scares me, what comes next."

"Why does it scare you?"

"Because I know that you don't want to wait and every time I kiss you I will wonder if you will think that we are going to keep going."

Sam smiled just a little. "Okay. Try this. Polly I know we are not having sex today, okay?" Sam waited until Polly nodded her head in response to his.

"Okay?"

"Great, now Babe you need to kiss me."

Polly leant into him and shyly pressed her lips to his. When she pulled away Sam cocked his head and frowned, letting her know that it wasn't good enough. "No Babe, kiss me."

Suddenly she climbed into his lap, grabbed both of his cheeks and kissed him hard, it was an all in kiss and they both threw themselves into it wholeheartedly and it was a good twenty minutes before they came up for air. "See, no hint of sex."

"Well maybe a little." Polly brushed her hand quickly over his groin and giggled as he groaned and buried his head into her shoulder.

"Jeez Polly, that I can't control, sorry."

"At least I know I can still turn you on, even if I am a hot mess."

"Hot yes, a mess? No." Running both his hands up her inner thighs until he felt her jump a little. "You turn me on big time Babe, since the day I first laid eyes on you." He pressed a kiss behind her ear and nipped at her earlobe. "You float my boat everyday."

"I bet you didn't think it would be like this?" Polly shifted a little, sliding off his lap but she was still curled up next to him with her legs now draped over his thighs and while he was leaning towards her as she got comfortable in the corner of the couch and he continued drawing circles on her bare thighs.

"Like what?"

"It's been messy."

"It has." He agreed. "But it is what it is, we can't change anything now. I just want to look ahead."

"To having sex?"

"Well, that's on the list, but a lot of other things are too. I get the feeling you are still not completely comfortable with this whole sex conversation."

"Oh, I don't know. My head and my heart are saying two different things."

"Tell me?"

Polly decided it was now or never. This was the perfect time to lay it all out. "I don't want people to know what's going on between us, like whether we are having sex or not. Everyone knew about Abbey and they talked about her behind her back and bullied her. It was horrible; I am scared that will happen to me. That's in my head."

"You know who is going to know? You and me, that's it. What goes on here…" He kissed her knee; it was the closest body part to him. "..is between us. Do you trust me? I need you to trust me and believe me."

"I do." Polly crept forward and rested her head on his shoulder and they stayed like that for a few minutes.

"What about your heart?" Polly lifted her head and looked a little perplexed. "You said your head and heart are saying two different things. You've told me what your head says, I want to know what your heart says?"

"My heart?" Polly ran her hand over his chest. "My heart wants to know what it would feel like to be with you."

Sam grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her slowly until he felt her melt into his arms. "It will feel like that but a thousand times better. I know how it will make me feel, I promise I will make you feel good." He kissed her again and Polly barely knew which way was up.

When Sam pulled away Polly was the one to chase him so they could continue the kiss. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. He loved kissing her and all that involved but he was finding it increasingly difficult to stop. Eventually he had to push her away.

"Thank you for bringing me here today."

"You're welcome."

Sam watched his hands run up and down her legs for a bit. "Now, my turn."

"Your turn for what?"

"To tell you something." Polly had no idea what was coming and it was completely unexpected. "I don't like how you are treating your Dad right now." The moment the words left his mouth the look on Polly's face changed but he didn't regret them. Maybe he should have waited a few more weeks but he was desperate to get this show on the road again and to do that Polly needed to put everything behind her. He never expected her to forget but she did need to decide how it was going to continue influencing her life now.

"We are fine." Polly angrily pushed one of his hands away from where it was resting on her knee.

"No you are not. I don't understand it."

"What the hell would you know?" She pulled her legs away and Sam let her.

"I talked to your Dad." This was always going to be an ugly conversation and he knew Polly wasn't going to take it well but it didn't stop him though. She hugged her legs to her chest; it was a move he'd seen fairly regularly lately. When Polly went defensive she would create a physical barrier between them and he knew that any contact would be unwelcomed.

"When?"

"I went to his work, I was worried about you and I missed you."

"You just want to fuck me." Polly spat at him. While she was getting angry and agitated Sam just kept talking and tried to keep the frustration out of his voice, it didn't really work that well.

"That's not why I talked to your Dad, Jesus Polly give me some credit. If that's what all this was about do you think I would still be here right now? Could you imagine me going into a cop station and going hey Detective Ruzek I really want to fuck your daughter, but she won't even talk to me. What should I do? How'd you think that would go? I'd have a bullet between my eyes." He didn't do well at staying calm. "It's not like it's been easy for me, it's been no walk in the park. It's been fucking hard, but I chose to stay because I like being around you, you make me happy and I want to be happy with you again." He wanted to say it, it was on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed instead. Now wasn't the time, it would get lost in the moment and right now this moment wasn't a good one.

"So you went behind my back and talked about me?"

"Yes, yes I did because you wouldn't fuckin' talk to me but you know what?" he leant forward and tapped his index finger against his temple, his frustration clearly bubbling over. "I could see it in your eyes, when you finally looked at me. I could see something; I could see you begging for someone to help you get out of this fucking huge hole you were in. You don't want it to be your Dad, so let it be me? Please?"

He could see that his words had touched a nerve; they were turning over in her head. She couldn't process them all though so she tried to get the conversation back to something she thought she had a handle on. "Don't talk to my Dad about me."

"He's worried about you Pol, he hates it."

"It's none of your business." Polly jumped up off the couch.

"Don't walk away Pol." He rolled his head to the side and watched her walk out onto the deck but she didn't look back. Sighing he grabbed the empty plate and cups he took them through to the kitchen and started to wash them up and left her to cool off a little. Putting them back in the cupboard Sam decided she'd had long enough.

Polly didn't even turn her head when she heard the sliding door open. "Come inside, it's cold."

Her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, it wasn't exactly warm out and the wind was whipping around the deck. The sun had well and truly sunk low over the back of the house and it was definitely cooler outside now.

"It's not deliberate."

Sam realised they were staying put for the time being. "You and your Dad Polly were so close. I know this was tough on you, I know you pushed people away, including me, but Polly your Dad just wants to help you. He wants to know you are okay? You should talk to him."

"I do talk to him." It was a little confronting and certainly annoying having her boyfriend call her out for how she was treating her Dad. This was not how things were meant to go, her boyfriend was supposed to be on her side. Sam had always pushed her though; he challenged her more than anyone else had. He got her to try things even though she was terrified and made her think about things she'd never contemplated before.

"No, you really need to talk to him, like you used to."

"About what?"

"Anything, everything it doesn't matter. What did you used to talk about?" He leant his elbows on the railing next to her and Polly smiled at him just a little and moved a little closer.

She nudged him. "You."

"Hmmmm, maybe not today's conversation." The thought of that made him nervous. "He probably doesn't want to hear that." He crossed his arms across his chest and turned to face her. "I know we are going to be alright. I have faith in us, but I really want you to work things out with your Dad. It's holding you back."

"From what?"

"From being happy, really happy." He rested his hand over her heart. Polly covered it with hers and then stepped into his space and found comfort there again and some shelter from the wind.

"I just couldn't stop myself thinking about what he's always said. My Dad always joked about serving and protecting but he couldn't protect Abbey and that made me angry, I know it's not fair. I worried that he wouldn't be able to protect me either if I needed him too."

"Oh God, your Dad Polly would kill anyone who hurt you, especially me." Sam honestly believed that. "He would have helped Abbey, you know he would have."

"I know." Polly stepped away from him a little and he caught the little nervous chew on her lip but she hung onto his hand, just by the fingertips. "I know this sounds stupid but I wanted to hurt Simon so bad and I couldn't so I tried to hurt my Dad instead to make me feel better about not knowing what was going on. That's dumb right?"

"Well, it's not exactly rational." Again Sam went where angels feared to tread. He didn't miss the flash of anger on her face as she let his hand drop. "But Polly that was such a huge shock for everyone, no one knew what was going on and I think you just reacted one way without thinking. It's not dumb or stupid, please don't say that, but you do need to fix things with your Dad."

"Things just got a little out of control and now I don't know how to say I'm sorry."

"I think all you have to do is go and talk to him, it's your Dad Pol. I know how much you love him and he loves you so much Polly, I see it every time he looks at you and I hear it every time he talks about you."

He could see her thinking about it but then she changed the subject slightly. He was getting used to this lately, she was still a little all over the place with her thoughts but he'd learnt just to let her run with it. "Abbey, that day she told me that all men are the same, all you want is sex and you'd move on if I didn't give you what you want." He knew exactly what day she was talking about, that had been an eye opener for him too, he had the chance that day to walk away from Polly and he didn't, he certainly wasn't going to do it now. "She also said that Dad was exactly the same and I know he has sex with Mom a lot." She was waving her hands around. "I couldn't get that out of my head."

Sam grabbed her hands to stop them when he could tell she was getting worked up again. "And yet here we are, not having sex."

"But you want too?"

"Absolutely. I know you do too. I can feel it inside you, struggling to get out. I know you felt it before." He pointed back towards the couch where they had been earlier. "That's not a bad thing Polly, you can feel happy, and you can admit you enjoyed it and want more and you can also admit that you are not ready for all that. It doesn't matter to me either way; it's up to you what you do. You know how I feel, I've been completely honest with you."

"Sam…" Polly stamped her foot nervously.

"And don't you think it's great how much your Dad loves your Mom?"

"I do." Sam beckoned her closer, kissed her lightly and squatted a little, hooked his arms under her thighs and lifted her up. Polly wrapped her legs around his waist and buried her head in his shoulder as he carried her inside and dumped her on the couch. Kneeling between her legs he hovered over her. "Your cold Baby. Let me warm you up."

"We can't… Sam." He gently rested his index finger on her lips to stop her talking.

"Right now we are not going to do anything we haven't done before, okay?" Polly nodded nervously. "Do you want me to go away?"

"No."

"Tell me when to stop." And she did, she let him kiss her, let his hands slide under her sweater and roam over her stomach and back pushing her sweater higher and higher and when she dragged her fingers down the firm muscles of his back his shirt was bunched up and the skin on their stomachs pressed together creating a sweet heat. Even Polly slid her hands inside the waist of his shorts and grabbed a handful of his bare ass as he rocked his hips against her gently for a few minutes until Polly put her hands on his hips and pushed him away.

"We should go soon." The moment Polly said that he stopped. He grabbed a cushion and rested it on his lap and he tried not to think about how close she was when she laid her head in his lap, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of Sam running his hands through her hair. Sam let his head fall backwards and tried to concentrate on letting his body return to a less excited state. He felt they'd made a lot of progress and he couldn't be upset with that but god he was in pain right now.

They stayed a while longer and stopped for dinner on the way home in some crappy roadside diner. Sam was back to making her laugh again and Kim and Adam was delighted to see how happy she was when they finally got home. Polly had called and told them they'd be home late and they tried not to think about what had gone on up there today. It was probably better if they didn't.

Polly was happy and Sam had stopped looking like he was walking on eggshells every time he saw her, this was the girl they all adored.

Kim convinced Adam to let her take Polly away for a girls' weekend, not that she had to do much convincing, she decided that it would be good for her and he agreed. Adam wasn't the devil incarnate anymore but he wasn't exactly feeling the love either. He didn't like what it cost him but then again what did money matter when it was about the health and well being of his children? There was no price tag on that and the bonus was he got to spend a weekend alone with Gus.

So getting that text message was not what he wanted or needed.


	23. Mt Vesuvius is Erupting

Adam had his feet up on his desk. Jay was sitting on the edge of it and they were laughing at Kevin's description of Hudson's latest attempt at Basketball, he was small for his age, surprisingly for one of Kevin's boys but he had all the attitude of his father and that more than made up for his lack of height. Kevin's arms were flailing all over the place and both Adam and Jay were highly amused. The day had a definite Friday feel for the first time in weeks because they had no active case and no matter what happened in the next few hours he had the weekend off.

Kim and Polly had left early and their road trip and he was waiting to hear that they had made it and then it was going to be a complete girl free weekend and he never thought he'd be happy about that. Being away from his girls was not something he usually enjoyed.

Adam had lingered over his goodbye that morning. He'd held Kim a little closer last night, made love to her before they went to sleep and then again when they woke up. It had been a rough few weeks for them, their relationship was never in doubt, it wasn't even on shaky ground but they had put each other through the wringer.

Adam did what he always did, he withdrew from Kim and she clawed at him to let her in. It never worked well for them. Not only did they have Polly and Angus to worry about but they had Abbey and Sam both circling around. Abbey was demanding more and more of Polly and Sam was desperate for anything. Once Abbey had left and Sam had suddenly found his spot again the boat stopped rocking and they felt they didn't need to hang on quite so tight.

They weren't good to each other but then when the tide started to turn the first thing they did was start loving each other again.

A planned night out with Kevin, Bess, Jay and Kate had been their turning point. Adam looked at Kim in the car beside him, dressed up and looking as beautiful as she always did but ultimately sad. Angus was at a party and Polly was with Sam at a family function so there was no reason not to go out with their friends and enjoy themselves and it had been a while since they'd had the chance to do that, they'd kept a pretty tight circle around their kids and their family for the past few weeks.

He hit the screen in the car and pulled up Jay's number. "Hey Jay, something's come up and we aren't going to make it."

"Anything wrong?"

"Nah, all good. Sorry, I'll see you at work on Monday. Have a good night." Kim eyed him suspiciously while he was talking to Jay. He was concentrating on the traffic and didn't even look at her but he had a slight smile on his face. Adam still took her breath away, he had a white collared shit and dark jeans on and his hair was a short but it had just a sprinkle of grey at the temples and she loved it. His slight stubble was very sexy and suddenly Kim felt the need to feel it beneath her fingers.

She ran a hand over his cheek and she wondered if he felt the same little tingle that she did. "What's come up?"

Adam turned the car around and headed in the opposite direction. "I don't want to spend the next few hours talking to anyone but you."

"That's sweet." They had dinner together in a small restaurant they found, held hands, shared their food, talked, laughed and then went home and just loved each other. They didn't talk about Polly or Angus in any great detail because that was all they had done lately. While the night hadn't started out like this and it would have been fun to spend it with their friends it was perfect anyway, sometimes it was the unplanned moments that meant the most.

So now while the weekend would be good for Polly and Angus to spend some time with their Mom and Dad individually and without distraction they would hate being away from each other. Now they had got back on track things had been a little intense lately and they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Kim and Polly were meeting Nicole and Zoe at the health retreat. Zoe was pregnant with her first baby and Nicole was beyond excited, as was Kim. She couldn't wait to be a great aunt and spoil the crap out of this baby. It was a high risk pregnancy because of Zoe's liver transplant and she was closely monitored but so far everything was going well and this weekend was probably the last chance they had to get away as she reached the last trimester. Zoe had been ultra healthy during the pregnancy, driving them all to distraction with her constant lectures about diet, clean eating and getting everything back in balance so this was right up her alley.

He didn't envy them, Kim hadn't been excited when Zoe found the place and had to be convinced that paying $2000 for the privilege of eating what she sarcastically labelled compost, doing yoga and meditating would be good for Polly. They also made a pact to turn their phones off and talk to each other rather than stare at a screen waiting for the outside world to tell them they weren't missing a damn thing. Adam had laughed when she told him but he was happy to pay for them to go. He wasn't sure Polly was all that excited about the location and a weekend without being able to talk to Sam would test her, she'd only just let him back in and they were certainly making up for lost time. They'd all seen what happened when Polly's phone didn't work, it was like the world had ended but a weekend away with her Mom, Aunt and cousin would make up for it hopefully. "She better bloody enjoy it." Adam moaned when he finally saw the cost hit his credit card.

The silver lining for Adam was a weekend with Gus. They were going to knock the 'boy shit' out of the park.

So when his phone buzzed on his desk he was expecting it to be from Kim letting him know that they had arrived. "Son of a bitch." He growled, instantly hitting speed dial. He drummed his fingers on his desk impatiently while he waited for him to answer.

"Please tell me you are just running late?" he barked into the phone. "Gus, you need to call me back."

"What's up?" Halstead nodded his head at the phone in his hand.

"Gus is not at school." He hoped like hell that Kim was already out of range because the last thing he wanted was for her to worry about where Gus was if she got the message from the school asking them to confirm his absence. This weekend was supposed to be about Kim getting away from everything and spending time with Polly and not freaking out about Angus and Adam's inability to manage even the simplest task of getting him to school.

"Where is he?"

"That's what I'd like to know." Adam was furious. He'd gone from laughing and looking forward to the weekend to pissed off in a matter of seconds. He called him again and still got no answer. Gus had promised him that he was quite capable of getting to school by himself. Adam had wanted to go in early and make a start on his mountain of reports so that he could get home early and start their weekend together so as soon as the girls left he took off into work.

"You want to ping his phone?"

"Sure." They did that and it showed that he was still at home. "Fuck." He threw his phone on the desk, gripped the back of his head and leant on his elbows and rubbed his head angrily.

"What are you going to do?"

"Wring his neck." He grabbed his jacket. "I'm going to go and haul him into school. He is not Ferris Buellering me, not today."

"Angus." He roared as he came through the door. "What the hell are you doing?" The house was deathly quiet as he stormed upstairs.

Adam's anger dissipated the moment he opened Gus's door and found him literally passed out on his bed in his school uniform. He was as white as a ghost and the room had a distinct aroma of vomit. "Holy crap." He gagged a little before shaking Gus awake. "Bud, wake up."

"Dad." He muttered weakly. "I can't stop spewing."

"Okay." This was the last thing he wanted to be doing. He hated it when people spewed; it was quite frankly the worst thing about having kids, having to clean up after them when they were sick. And by the looks of it he had quite some cleaning up to do and it was far from over judging by look of Angus. He looked green. "When did it start?"

"I had breakfast." He started to gag and Adam looked around quickly for something to use and grabbed a towel from the floor, grateful that for once his son was a slob and caught most of his spew.

"Alright." Adam groaned. "Let's get you in the shower." He helped him out of bed and into the shower, getting him to sit down and just let the water wash over him while he cleaned up his bed, stopping only when he heard him vomiting in the shower again. He found Gus on his hands and knees heaving repeatedly and Adam ended up half in the shower trying to help him sit up when he was done and grabbed the showerhead to rinse him off and the remnants down the drain.

He called Halstead. "Umm, I found Gus, heaving his guts up all over his bedroom. So I am elbow deep in vomit, best you sign me out for the day."

"And you are completely on your own brother."

"Figured as much."

He changed the sheets, grabbed some towels and buckets and then went and helped him out of the shower and held him up while he got some clothes on him, unfortunately getting him moving again wasn't a great idea and Adam helped him stay upright and facing the shower stall as he spewed again. "Buddy, this is not good." He grabbed a facecloth and washed his face.

"Sorry Dad."

"Hey, it's okay." Adam got him back into bed just as his phone rang. He wasn't at all surprised to see Kim's name flashing on his phone, honestly he was surprised it took this long.

"What the hell Adam?" He did not even get the chance to speak.

"Hold on. He's crook."

"He was fine when I left."

"Well judging by the amount of vomit I have just seen come out of him and the amount of washing and cleaning that is now waiting for me I can safely say he's not faking it or if he is it's an Oscar worthy performance." He flicked his phone around and switched on the camera to show Kim her very unwell son curled up in fetal position on his bed. At least she could see that he was in fact sick and that Adam had it somewhat under control.

"Do you want me to come home?"

"No I don't want you to come home." It would have been so easy to say yes and he knew she would turn the car around in a second. It was the last thing he wanted to be doing this weekend but that wasn't fair to Kim who really was looking forward to the whole weekend and especially not to Polly. Apart from the whole not being able to contact Sam thing he knew Polly was really looking forward to it, it was the first time she had done something like this with her mother and Adam was still on shaky ground with her so he would hate to think what it would do to their fragile relationship if he ruined it for her. "I want you to not worry about Gus and enjoy the fact that you don't have to be here to deal with this crime scene, because Darlin' it's nasty."

"Are you sure?"

"I've paid $2000 for you to spend this weekend with Polly. Look at it this way, both our kids need some TLC and we've got one each. Teamwork Baby." They were concerned about Polly's mental health although nothing specifically worried them but this had been really rough on her and they worried about how much more she could take. They wanted her to know that they would do anything for her, that they cared about her physically and emotionally and more than anything they wanted both their kids to know that they were in their corner and would fight for them.

"You had such a good weekend planned."

"Yes I did, but we can do it later. I am still here with Gus and that's all that matters right? Hey Kim…." He could hear Gus spewing again. "I've gotta go. Mt Vesuvius is erupting again." and he promised to keep her in the loop.

Kim rattled off a quick list of things for him to get to help Gus so he rang his Mom and asked her to bring them over. She offered to stay and help but he was pretty sure he could manage, this weekend was about him and Gus and despite him being sick he still wanted it to be just them. He did have this nagging thought in the back of his head that he might need her later on and he'd save his Mom for that. One thing they had learnt very quickly is that a bout of stomach flu could rip through a house in a heartbeat. He certainly did hope like hell that this wasn't the case and that Kim and Polly didn't fall ill while they were away. If it was contagious perhaps them being away would mean they could avoid it completely.

By early afternoon he could at least have more than a three word conversation with Gus. He was starting to hold down some fluids although he still looked pretty green. From what Adam could gather Gus had eaten some left over pizza at his mate's place last night and he thought it tasted a bit dodgy so the likelihood it was food poisoning was filling him with some hope that it would be over soon and unlikely to take him down also.

 _'We seemed to have turned a corner. He ate rancid pizza last night at Elliot's. No spew for two hours and he's had something to drink.'_ Adam finally answered one of Kim's many messages and he told her to stop worrying and focus on Polly.

Gus crawled out of bed and onto the couch by the evening and watched some of a movie with his Dad. He rested his head on a cushion in Adam's lap, it wasn't often that he wanted that kind of contact with either of his parents but when you felt as crap as he did it was comforting. "Is Mom freaking out?" Adam had covered him with a blanket and was absentmindedly stroking his head. Angus wasn't as touchy feely as Polly was, he never had been. As a baby he loved to snuggle but once he hit those terrible twos he fought his parents at every opportunity when they tried to cuddle him. He was a little better now and didn't baulk but he rarely sought them out either and apart from always kissing his mother goodnight and occasionally Adam he was not overly affectionate.

"No, she's strangely grateful that while her and Polly are indulging in a massage and eating compost I am here cleaning up after you."

"I don't think I'll be eating pizza for a while."

"Here's a tip for nothing, if it smells bad and tastes bad, for the love of god don't eat it." He caught the weakest of smiles.

"I guess I ruined our weekend?"

"We'll see how you feel tomorrow. A weekend bumming around the house is a pretty sweet deal too. A chick free few days at home, Gus this could be heaven. No one to nag us about watching sport all weekend, eating crappy food and slobbing around in sweats." Gus had been keen to try playing golf. Adam didn't love it, he preferred his sports to be a bit more active but had agreed to get him some lessons and they planned to have his first lesson together tomorrow. They also hoped to catch a movie and Adam had tickets to a Cubs game on Sunday. He guessed pizza was off the menu for the weekend but whatever happened, Adam wasn't cooking. For dinner he'd found some soup in the freezer because Angus was happy with just dry toast and they both seemed a little on edge when he ate it waiting to see if it reappeared.

Kim did freak out initially but once she knew that he was okay it was Polly who eventually convinced her to relax and put her phone away. "Dad said Gus is fine so why are you still messaging him?"

"Because it's your Dad."

"You know Mom, he's pretty good. You should trust him." Of course Polly was right, she'd lucked out with Adam. He was more than pretty good, he was a great Dad and he was adamant that he was quite capable of looking after Angus, it wasn't his first trip to the rodeo. Kim left him in charge of both of them one weekend a year when she went away with her sister and he had always managed to keep them alive.

"I do trust him. I am just worried about Angus."

"I thought this was about us." This meant a lot to Polly, Kim could see that so she put her phone away and focussed on their girl's weekend. "Dad will let you know if anything is really wrong."

"Can I ask how things are with Sam?" They had dinner with Nicole and Zoe before deciding to relax in the hot tub on the veranda of their cabin. The weather wasn't exactly warm but the water more than made up for it and the view out towards the mountains was pretty spectacular. The sky was clear and full of stars and Kim remembered back when they used to get the kids out of the city and into the country so they could experience things like this. It was nature in its purest form and she thought it was perhaps something they should consider doing more often, at the very least it was something that her and Adam should think about doing again.

They both had certainly noticed that Sam was well and truly back in the good books lately and they seemed a lot happier and probably a lot closer than they had ever been. That had given Adam a few more grey hairs.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yes Mom, things are good." Polly was staring at her hands swirling under the water. "What do you want to know? Are we having sex? No we are not."

"Okay." It was a little more than Kim was expecting. "I wasn't asking about that."

"But you wanted to know."

"I want to know that you are okay Polly."

"I am, we are."

Kim just dived into the conversation since Polly had already bought it up. "I'm glad. You know I would really like to make sure you are ready for whenever you decide to sleep with Sam and make you an appointment to see a Doctor to talk about some birth control."

"What makes you think I am going to have sex with Sam?"

"Oh Sweetheart." Kim grabbed Polly, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her towards her so that she could kiss her cheek playfully. "Because I see the way you look at each other."

"I'm not ready yet."

"Is Sam?"

"He's male and according to Dad he's been ready since the day he was born."

"Your Dad is an idiot sometimes."

"Mom, Dad is an idiot most of the time, but he's our idiot." Polly laughed. "And we are stuck with him and I love him."

"Me too Baby, Me too."

"How did you know you loved Dad?"

"It kind of crept up on me. I think I realised when I wanted to go home with him everyday, I wanted to always be around him. I'd look forward to the end of shift just so that we could be together."

"Like sleep with him?"

"No, not always. We spent a lot of time just together, watching TV, cooking for each other, talking to each other, when we had a day off we'd go out bike riding or swimming or hiking. He would even take me to the art institute or a play." Polly snorted; she couldn't imagine her Dad doing half that stuff. "It's not always about sex, it can't be. If that's all it is, if that's all you have in a relationship then it is never going to last. You need to be friends too and your Dad is my best friend, always has been."

"We are friends. I really like just hanging out with Sam and we have fun. He makes me laugh a lot and we like the same things, like movies and TV and stuff. I like talking to him; we talk about anything and everything. That's good right?" For some reason Polly didn't tell her Mom what Sam had told her recently and she didn't really know why, it just didn't feel like the right time.

"That's great Sweetie, it really is. You know we like Sam too."

"Are you sure? Dad always tells me that he hates him." Polly was smiling because she knew her Dad was joking, but she just thought she'd check.

"That's because, as we established earlier, your Dad is an idiot." Kim was loving every minute of this and by the look on Polly's face so was she. This was exactly what she hoped for when they came up here, a relaxed and happy Polly and a chance to talk to her about where her head was at. "He's just hardwired to hate any boy who comes within spiting distance of you, he's been waiting for this for years. If he really did hate him the poor boy wouldn't get past the front door."

"Sam really loves hanging around home."

"We like having him around because we love how happy he makes you." Kim wanted Polly to feel comfortable about talking to her about anything, they'd always been able to do that but lately she could tell that Polly had been a little more reluctant to share. "You know we've always tried to make our house fun to be around because that's what worked best for us when we first got together we just had fun together all the time."

"It is. Sam thinks it's insane sometimes and he really missed being around when we split up."

"We weren't sure what was happening?"

"I don't know; it was so confusing." Polly sank lower in the water and stared out at the distant mountains for a few moments. "I just didn't know how to talk to him and thought that he'd be better off not dealing with me. I didn't mean to shut him out it just happened and then I wanted to help Abbey and Sam just got lost a little bit."

"It was a little surprisingly how you shut him out and your Dad too." That may have been pushing it a little too far and she waited to see which way Polly was going to go.

"I know. I hate that I did that."

Kim pulled her into her arms. "Look, I am not going to lie to you that really hurt your Dad but he never stopped believing in you or being worried about you or loving you."

"I know." She was really enjoying just being with her Mom. "I think deep down I knew that we'd be okay."

"So did he, still hurt him though. Your Dad loves you so much Pol. From the moment you were born, actually from the moment we found out I was pregnant he was so in love with you. He was so happy when you were a girl and he was just amazing with you and you know what Polly?" Kim's voice trembled just a little bit. "I love watching your two together, I always have. He would race home from work just so that he could give you a bath and I could hear him singing to you and even if I'd had a shitty day and you were grumpy the moment he got home scooped you up everything was okay. It makes me love your Dad even more when I see how much he loves you and Angus."

"I know how lucky I am."

"Not as lucky as your Dad and I are. We will fight for you Polly, for you and Angus. We will fight tooth and nail to make sure you and Angus are okay and have everything you need."

"Do you think Dad will forgive me?"

"Oh Polly, there is nothing to forgive, nothing at all. Just tell him you love him; you know he likes that. That's all he wants to hear." She asked her Mom when they were getting ready for bed if she could send her Dad a message.

 _'I love you Dad.'_

 _'To the moon Sweet pea, to the moon.'_

Adam was surprised, not that he said anything when he woke up and found Angus crawling into bed beside him. It was very rare thing for Angus to do and it had been a long time since he'd crawled into his parent's bed in the middle of the night. Adam just smiled to himself and went back to sleep feeling like his world was wasn't spinning quite so fast anymore. As much as he moaned when the kids were little and they were always in their bed, spreading themselves out and leaving Adam and Kim perched on the edge for half the night, he missed it when it stopped.

Despite the fact he'd spent most of the day cleaning up Angus's vomit he had a feeling that this weekend was looking up. Gus was his main man and Polly had told him that she loved him. The only thing that would have made this better was if they were all together.

"Hey Dad." Gus sleepily rolled over when his Dad's alarm went off. They were booked in for their golf lesson at 10am, it was now 8am and Adam had planned that they would go out for breakfast before the lesson.

"Gus, morning. You feel okay?" He ran his hand through his slightly wild looking hair. Kim thought he was overdue for a haircut and had suggested Adam sort it out this weekend but for some reason Gus decided he wanted to grow it out a bit and Adam didn't really care, whatever Gus wanted to do he was fine with. God knows he'd gone through various different hairstyles and lengths over the years.

"Yeah." He didn't sound a hundred precent convincing but he really wanted to go to the lesson so would push through. "Can we still go?"

"If you are sure you are alright we will definitely go. I'd like to see you eat something this morning though, think you can do that? You keep that down and we will go." Again he had some toast and Adam made him eat a banana and drink some more of the ORS that Kim had recommended. It wasn't the greatest but he hadn't had much else to drink so forced it down and it stayed down.

Adam could tell he wasn't feeling the greatest but loved that he was so desperate to do all the things they'd planned to do together that he just kept going. Adam slowed it down a little though and instead of going out to the movies they decided to stream one at home, they picked up burgers from their favourite burger joint, had more fries than was humanly possible and turned the sound up really loud and watch the mayhem unfold on the screen. Adam didn't know if Gus was happy with staying in but he seemed perfectly content. They were wearing sweats, their feet were on the table and they didn't have any of the women folk nagging them about anything. What was not to like?

By the time Sunday rolled around Gus was feeling pretty good again so they went out for breakfast and went indoor rock climbing before lunch and then headed to the game. The smile of Gus's face was priceless when they got the game and Adam had pulled in a favour and got them seats on the first base line. They were wicked seats, or so Gus had told him.

They then met Kim and Polly at their favourite restaurant for dinner and it felt a little like old times. The kids didn't even mind their parents PDA's, the way Adam greeted Kim by dipping her backwards and kissing her hard, and when he let it go on for more than a few seconds it had them cheering and laughing. They didn't care that they cuddled up to each other while they waited for their food. Polly was happy to tell her Dad all about the weekend, show off her manicure and her enthusiastic description of how terrible the food was; well that was all Ruzek. He did frown a little at how excited she sounded about Zoe and being able to feel the baby moving and how beautiful she looked but Kim squeezed his thigh and shook her head when Adam looked at her, eyebrows raised and stopped him from making some comment about the perils of teenage pregnancy. As that conversation suddenly veered into Sam, Adam did think he was going to have a heart attack.

Gus had his own stories to tell and not that his food poisoning experience was particularly appropriate dinner conversation but rest of the weekend certainly made up for it. He loved the golf lesson and while as parents they wanted them to do and try anything that took their fancy they were really hoping that he wouldn't love this.

Adam and Kim loved that they were all together, just the four of them and enjoyed sitting back and listening to every single word that came out of their mouths. It was as close to perfect as they'd had in a long time. It felt good and he knew that this weekend was the best thing they could have done for their kids right now, they were finally sailing in calm waters.

Adam finished off his whiskey and was just about to turn off the light and go to bed. It had been a good weekend; it started off a little rocky but ended on a high with the family dinner. All he wanted was one more thing, so he waited and he got it.

He heard that sweet voice.

"Dad."


	24. Gut Feel

He'd had never heard a sweeter word. Lately it had been a familiar word in the house again but it was the first time since all this had blown up that he'd heard it like this, it was first time in such a long time that she was standing here.

"Hey Sweet Pea." He held out one hand and swallowed the bubble of emotion that crept up on him when Polly curled up next to him. He rested his cheek on her head as she tucked it up under his chin. God he loved this kid, he loved being her father even though the past few months had been rough. Of everything he had achieved throughout his life, and he'd certainly been recognised over the years for his work, being a Dad was far and away his greatest achievement.

It was late and Polly had gone upstairs almost as soon as they got home from dinner, no doubt to talk to Sam who she hadn't spoken to for three days, which apparently for a teenager was 'like forever'. Towards the end of dinner they could tell she was starting to get a little keen to get going so she could call him. She hadn't touched her phone while they'd been there and Kim and Adam appreciated the effort. They'd always been pretty strict with regards to phones at the dinner table. Occasionally Adam would have his phone with him if they were on a case but otherwise it was not acceptable to check or answer messages or phone calls during dinner.

Gus pretty much went straight to bed as well. He was feeling better but had probably pushed himself a little harder than he should have just because he wanted to enjoy everything his Dad had planned for them. It was rare that he got a whole weekend of his Dad to himself and he was gutted on Friday when he thought he'd ruined it.

Kim threw her legs over Adam's as they relaxed for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet as he massaged her calves and Kim closed her eyes. She was also knackered from all the driving and wanted to go to bed but she knew Adam would stay up so if she wanted to talk to him it had to be now.

"Gus is thinking the sun shines out of your ass at the moment."

"That was my plan." Adam continued working on her legs and he could tell that she was enjoying it.

Kim smiled as Adam squeezed her calves a little. "Dad of the year."

"How was she?" Adam indicated upstairs with his head when Kim opened her eyes again.

"Great." And she was, Kim was really happy with Polly. She had loved the weekend away and gushed about it all the way home. She'd loved hanging out with Zoe and getting all excited about the baby and Kim promised to take Polly up to see Zoe as soon as she had the baby.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Anything I should know?"

"Yes, she loves you."

"I got that message." Even Kim could hear the little bit of joy in his voice. "Did you tell her to send it?"

"No." Kim scoffed. No matter how many times she told him that Polly loved him Adam just couldn't get his head around all this shit that had gone on with her and her attitude towards him. It hurt him. "As if I would do that. She asked if she could send it. You should feel lucky, Sam didn't get one."

"What's going on there?"

"They are not sleeping together."

"Good."

"Adam, it's not far off though. You know that right?" He put his hands over his ears and dramatically squeezed his eyes shut. "Don't be an idiot." Kim nudged him playfully with her foot.

"I feel old." He whined. "Do you remember bringing her home from the hospital and we looked at each other and wondered what the fuck do we do now?"

"I do."

"I have that same feeling. I keep looking at her thinking what the fuck do I do now."

"What you always do? Adore her." Kim dropped her legs to the floor and leaned in for a beautifully slow kiss. "Well I could take your mind off it for a bit. I missed you." She knew though that even the offer of sex wasn't going to be enough right now to get him to come to bed. Not tonight.

He had a feeling so he decided to wait it out downstairs; like he did most evenings in the hope that she'd come back to him, it was the way she had looked at him a few times during dinner that gave him a reason to sit down here rather than go and love his wife. For weeks he'd gone to bed disappointed but this was worth the wait. He didn't give up because he wanted to be here when she did come back and he wasn't about to let her down now. He had an over whelming need to be there for his kids.

He'd been let down his whole childhood by those who were supposed to look out for him, he wasn't going to do that, he wasn't letting them down because at the end of the day Kim and these two humans were his whole world. They weren't perfect humans but they were his humans and that was close enough.

"I am proud of you." She needed to know that he didn't think any less of her because of how she had coped with everything even when it was rough, even when he was worried that she was barely holding her head above water. "You've been so brave and I love how strong you are."

"I don't feel like it."

"You are Sweetie." He kissed the top of her head. "This has been really tough and you've been knocked down a few times but you've got up again, every time."

"I think I learnt that from you and Mom."

"Ah, we just pointed you in the right direction." He touched her nose lightly. "You did the hard work." Listening to her Dad was sweet. She'd treated him badly more often than not lately but he was still here, liked he'd promised her he would be.

"Why are men like that?" She wanted to talk about Simon; they hadn't really discussed him much yet. She'd seen the photos' and dealt with it but still didn't really understand why he had them or what he wanted to do with them.

They had both taken her into the District the day after she'd learnt about the photos. Adam had called Jay that night and told him that Polly wanted to see them. They had discussed how many to show her and Adam wanted her to see them all, he didn't want her to find out later that they were still hiding things from her and he had to trust that they'd be strong enough to deal with the fall out. However the decision was made not to show her the photos of Abbey. Adam talked to her about them explaining that Abbey did not want anyone to see them; especially Polly and she had to accept it. At the time she had given him a gob full of attitude but he was that far in the shit at that stage he didn't really care anymore, things couldn't get any worse for him.

Jay had set them up on his computer in his office and the first thing he did was talk to Polly alone. She baulked a little when Jay went to hug her but Adam had warned him that she wasn't really receptive to physical contact right now, even though she wanted her Dad with her today she still refused any form of affection from him. He did get to rest his hand on her back as he led her into the District. They were tiny little wins for Adam and he was taking them all. "This has been a tough decision to make for your Mom and Dad, they just want to protect you and they are really worried about you."

"I know."

"You do know that everyone here loves you." Polly nodded. "I will tell you that only I have seen them, your Mom and Dad and Kevin. That's all. What did they tell you?"

"That there is nothing horrible. Not of me, but there is some of Abbey and I am not going to see them."

"That's right, but Polly the rest of them, all the other photos Simon had it's not like all the photos that we have of you growing up and playing and having fun. That's not why he took them."

She shook her head when Jay asked her if she had any questions, she just wanted to get this over and done with. It felt like a crushing weight sitting on her chest, she felt sick and hadn't been able to eat anything all morning. "Do you want Mom and Dad to come in?" He could see them waiting in the bullpen. Adam was at his desk and Kim was leaning against it holding his hand and he hated to see how tough they were doing it. They'd made sure no one else was upstairs when Polly came in, nobody was sure how she would react and they didn't want other people around particularly if it didn't go well. She nodded and Jay called them in.

He left them to it. The three of them looked at the photos, Polly held her Mom's hand as Adam flicked through the photos. She gasped when some of the photos of her came up, it shocked her to see them and how innocent they seemed knowing that they were anything but. "I don't understand." She shook her head. "Why did he want these?"

"We don't know Polly."

"The photos of Abbey? Are they bad?" Polly looked at her Dad and her pain was devastating for him to see.

Kim looked at Adam and he closed the lid of the computer and came and sat next to Polly, for the first time she didn't baulk when Adam covered her shaking hands with his. "They are bad, they show some of the things that he did to Abbey and things that he made Abbey do to him. You can't see them Polly, I am not going to show them to you and Abbey and her parents don't want you to see them. Simon is in jail, he's confessed and there is no trial so those photos will never see the light of day." Adam didn't even try to sugar coat it. Nothing could soften the blow. Polly pulled her hands away and looked at the tissue in her hands, realising the scrunched up ball of paper was useless to wipe away her never-ending tears so Kim handed her another one and she rested her head on her mother's shoulder. Adam rubbed her back softly as she cried again.

Eventually she pushed herself up, wiped her face with her hands and told them. "He's not going to ruin my life. He broke Abbey, this is not going to beat me." Kim and Adam had no idea where that came from but perhaps the fog around her was starting to clear. It was still one step forward and two steps back for a while but there was a glimmer of hope.

She still hadn't talked about Simon though and here she was weeks later finally feeling strong enough to start to work through that. "Not all men Sweet Pea."

"I know but how do you know? I mean you didn't know what he was like? Abbey's Mom had no idea. I think Abbey did but her Mom didn't listen to her."

"Sometimes you don't know, I'd like to think that Janice had no idea. I am sure Simon wasn't like that when she was around. Sometimes Polly nothing really makes sense. There is a reason why they say hindsight is twenty-twenty vision."

"How am I going to know then? Like Sam, how do I know he's not like that?"

"What does your gut say? How do you feel about him?" Adam did not have any answers for her, he wished he could tell her that there was something to look for but that would be a lie. She had to learn how to trust herself and her instincts, as much as he wanted to make all the decisions for her, that just wasn't how life worked. If it did, she'd probably be a Nun because no one was ever going to be good enough for this girl.

"I really like him Dad, he's really sweet. I feel good when I am with him." She pushed her hair back from her forehead, a nervous little habit she had. "He makes me feel good about myself, he makes me laugh and we have fun together, we can talk about anything and I missed him so much."

"We like him too." Adam pulled her a little closer into his side. "Can I ask you something?" Polly sat up, facing her father and nodded.

"Simon, how did you feel about him?"

Polly didn't answer straight away, she'd thought about it a lot and it had played on her mind constantly for weeks. She'd talked to Sam about it but he didn't really have any answers for her, he'd never met Simon. "I didn't really like him so I just avoided him, I don't know what it was though. He was always hanging around and that seemed weird but I didn't think anything of it. Then I thought about you and when my friends are here sometimes you are around and we have fun and they all really like it. I thought maybe it was just me so I just stayed away from him. Do you think that I could have stopped him if I said something?"

"No, no I don't Polly, but you're gut was telling you something and you protected yourself. Sometimes it just takes time to understand what that means and you need to learn how to trust it. You're still learning. This is not your fault, none of it."

"I know." She was quiet for a little bit and Adam didn't mind. Just having her here was more than enough for him. Quite frankly she could have come down, just said his name and nothing else and he would be happy.

"Tell me something, what's the difference between how you feel about Sam, how he makes you feel and how you felt about Simon? Like when you first met Sam, before you really knew him did he make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No. I didn't know how to talk to him and I was nervous because I liked him and didn't want to stuff it up. Even now, I know what Sam wants and he never makes me feel weird or uncomfortable and he lets me decide and he only does what I want. When I want to stop he's okay with that. Well I don't know he's completely okay with it but that doesn't matter, he listens to me and he stops." Adam just tried to breath and not seemed freaked out by what she obviously meant by all that. "With Simon, I just didn't want to talk to him at all and I hated being around him or left alone with him, I always left the room if it was just us."

"You know what that is?"

"My gut?" Polly smiled a little and Adam nodded. This was his job, getting her to understand herself and trust her own instincts.

He could see her turning it over in her head. "Do you really like Sam?"

"Yes, Polly. I do. He makes you happy and treats you well and I am also happy to hear that he stops when you ask him to." That was going to drive Adam nuts. "That's all I care about."

"You don't have a gut feel about him?"

"I do, and my gut feel is that I think he might just be a little bit in love with you."

Along with the weekend with her Mom and their conversation about her Dad, Sam had been the catalyst for her to be sitting here right now. From the very start he had always told her not to take it out on her Dad. Apart from those few weeks when he accepted that they had basically broken up, once Polly had finally reached out to him and they started to get closer again they'd talk about Abbey and everything that was going on with that but when it came to her Dad Polly wouldn't say much.

Things with her Dad had gotten back on track to a certain degree but one thing she hadn't done yet was this. She hadn't come back and talked to him or sought his advice and that was always going to be the final hurdle. Sam had laid it all out that day at the Summer House and he knew she had listened to him but it had still taken her a while to do anything about it.

This was all new for Sam too and it would have been easier to walk away. They were young and this was supposed to be fun and a lot of the time it hadn't been fun. Polly was funny and smart and beautiful but she was also struggling with understanding what was going on around her. It wasn't just your friends splitting up, fighting, getting back together and all the usual teenage angst. It was horrible and frightening and very confronting. Sam had stepped in right at the start and made the decision to stick around. He didn't regret it. He'd known for a while that he loved her but because of everything that had happened he had only recently he told her that.

They'd been watching a movie in his room; well at the very least they'd started watching a movie and ended up doing anything but. Polly was letting him spend more time exploring her body than anything else. It wasn't quite innocent but neither did it get too far but gradually they were learning more and more about each other and what they liked and didn't like. She did like the feeling of his hands on her skin, he was gentle and slow and it made her tingle and even the weight of his body on top of hers was enjoyable. "Sam, can we stop?" Polly finally pulled away from his kiss and Sam rolled off to the side, obviously disappointed but he wasn't going to push her into anything she didn't want.

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

"Don't be, I liked it, I'm just…." She didn't finish her sentence. She no idea why she didn't want to go any further but it just didn't feel right. She wasn't ready to take the next step.

"Okay." Sam rubbed his hands over his face in frustration before propping himself up on one elbow and tried to catch her eye. Polly felt embarrassed and did her best to avoid looking at him; she didn't want to see his disappointment. It was hard knowing what he wanted and he'd been honest about that but Polly just couldn't push herself over the line, not yet. He continued to softly stroke her collarbone with his hand. "I love you Polly."

"You do?" Polly felt her stomach flip. "Sam…"

Sam kissed her softly. "I do. I really do and I don't need you to say anything right now okay, because I am going to wait for you. I just wanted you to know, I didn't want to wait anymore."

"You don't want to wait?"

Sam hated that she looked like she was starting to panic so he added quickly. "No I didn't want to wait anymore to tell you that I loved you. That's all." The reason he hadn't told her that day back at the beach house was because he just wanted her to remember the moment for the right reason, he just wanted her to know that he loved her and not all the other crap they went through that day, it had been a little bit of a rollercoaster. When it all boiled down to it, the good things far outweighed the bad but it still wasn't the perfect time. Right now he didn't want her to think that he only told her he loved her to sleep with her because that wasn't why. He said he loved her because he honestly did.

"He told me he loved me." Adam felt a lump in his throat. The way she was looking at him she reminded him of her mother and she looked so beautifully happy and he hadn't seen it for such a long time. Suddenly Polly knew why she hadn't told her Mom the other night that Sam loved her, she wanted her Dad to know first. Perhaps because she knew he would be honest with her, she knew her Mom would be happy and squeal and make a big deal of it but her Dad would help her understand it. For all the joking and teasing they did, these moments were often more raw and honest.

"And what about you Polly? How do you feel?"

"I'm not sure. I really liked it but it feels strange."

"In what way? Good strange or bad strange."

"Oh." The little look of shyness on her face was cute. "Good strange. Like, I have butterflies in my stomach, every time I am with him and even when I just think about him. Even the very first time he kissed me on our first date I had these butterflies. It scares me a little because I like how that feels." Adam wasn't surprised she was confused. Nothing had come easy for Polly in the last few months; her faith in the people around her had been rocked. It was hard to watch her go through it but at last they felt like there was a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel and if falling in love, if experiencing your first love gave her that light nothing Adam could do or say was going to stop it. Nor did he want to, even if it meant that he had to let her go and grow up.

"Ha, it's terrifying." Adam he ran his thumb softly over her cheek. "I am terrified."

"Why?"

"It's strange seeing you all grown up with this great guy who I do think loves you and I think you are so close to falling in love for the first time." Adam thought about it for a moment. "Actually I think you do love him, that's what those butterflies are." He poked her playfully in the stomach. "I used to get butterflies every time I saw your Mom and even now when I am driving home after not seeing Mom for a while I get this feeling. I can't wait to get home."

"Yeah?"

"Yep and it's terrifying because you are my baby girl and no matter how big you are, no matter how pissed off with me you are, you will always be my baby and I will move heaven and earth to make sure you always know that." He smiled at her as he waved his hand back and forth between them. "You and me, this is a life long deal Polly."

"I do know that." She threw her arms around his neck and Adam never wanted to let her go. "Thank you for always looking out for me and I am sorry I've been horrible. I love you Dad."

"To the moon Baby."

Adam thought they were done but Polly bit her bottom lip and cocked her head to the side. A look he was all too familiar with, it was a look Kim would give him when she had something to say and she wasn't sure how he was going to take it. "Can I ask you something else?"

"You can ask me anything." He couldn't help himself. "Except if you want to ask me about having sex with Sam. I don't think you and I should have that conversation."

"Dad." She buried her head in a cushion.

"Just being honest."

"It's not about that." She giggled a little when he swiped a finger over his forehead indicating his relief. "Like I'd talk to you about that, you'd freak out."

"I would indeed. You know it's not that great."

"Whatever Dad, that's why you hound Mom about it almost daily." Polly rolled her eyes; he wasn't fooling anyone. "It's about the baby."

Kim had given Adam the heads up that she had told Polly about the baby and their miscarriage so he wasn't completely blindsided but that was a little while ago and he honestly thought she'd forgotten about it, or at least he hoped she had. He didn't want to talk about it, even when Kim bought it up he would struggle with it. He felt they'd been there and done that, there was nothing left to say and it was so far in the past it was just better left back there. He wasn't quite expecting it right now though. "What do you want to know?"

"Mom says that she treated you like shit but you just took it."

"Your Mom was going through a lot, I just needed to be there for her."

"Were you upset about losing the baby?"

It was like time was standing still as Polly waited for her Dad to answer, she wondered if she had gone too far but in reality Adam was trying keep his head in this moment rather than let his mind drift back fourteen years. "I was devastated and I was heartbroken watching your Mom go through that, I just wanted to help her."

"Is that why you never had another baby?"

"One of the reasons, yes. We had you and Angus and you both needed us for everything. When we lost the baby it was hard. Your Mom was still feeding Angus, he was still a little baby and you were too young to understand what was going on. You and Angus kept us going though, we had to get up everyday just for you."

"Mom said that you never thought about splitting up."

"I'm not going to lie Pol, it wasn't easy and I hated every minute of it but I never wanted to be anywhere else. It wasn't an option, even today not seeing you or Angus or your Mom everyday kills me. Your Mom is here." He pointed to his chest. "Every day. I can't live without your Mom, this doesn't work without her."

"Do you still think about the baby?"

"Some days. Not very often but I have wondered what they would be like now." And he did, when Kim told him that Polly knew about the miscarriage he did think about what their baby would have been like right now. How they should have been worried about three children instead of just the two they had, two that they adored.

"Did you know if it was a boy or a girl?"

"No. It was too early to find out. It all happened really quickly. I wanted it to be a girl though, another mini Mom to love, another you. Angus is my main man, but you, you'll always be my girl and to be surrounded by three of you would have been heaven." Sensing that Adam was struggling a little when his voice trembled slightly Polly tucked her legs up under herself and leant on him a little bit more. "Did your Mom tell you about that day?"

Polly shook her head. Adam took a deep breath and tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. "I called your Mom, she had been asleep when I left for work and she didn't answer the phone. You did."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you were always grabbing our phones and talking on them, you'd dialled quite a few people and would chat away, they always knew it was you though and would just talk back to you." The first time she'd called Voight he'd come out of his office and stood in front of Ruzek and handed him his phone telling him that this call was probably for him. Adam died a little bit but Voight just laughed. "We couldn't stop you. Anyway you told me that Mom was crying."

"She didn't tell me."

"It's not very easy for your Mom to talk about. Anyway, I came home and by then your Mom had lost the baby. You saved your Mom that day and you and Gus saved us everyday after that. We love you guys more than anything. You are without a doubt the best thing we have ever done and we wouldn't swap one single day of the last twenty years, even when it's been rough. I am sorry there is not three of you but I am certainly glad we've got you two."

"Mom showed me the necklace." Adam didn't answer her; he just closed his eyes and tried to breathe. "It's beautiful, Dad you should let Mom wear it."

When Adam finally came to bed he pulled Kim into his arms, which she did so willingly even though she was barely awake. "You've talked to Polly." She muttered sleepily. He missed his chance of loving his wife but that was okay because he finally felt like he had his daughter back.

"How can you tell?"

"I can feel it."


	25. Tis the Season

**_Hump Day Treat….and to celebrate Day 1 of season 5…..enjoy….._**

Kim had no idea how to even start this particular conversation and they'd certainly had a lot of tough conversations over the years and particularly lately. Adam was going to completely flip his lid so she decided to get her flirt on and go with seduction. Maybe if he was calm, and she knew that a surprise sex session always calmed him he would be a little easier to deal with, it was kinda like a food coma but using sex instead. He always knew what she was doing but he really didn't care, he was male after all. "Hey Baby." Kim sauntered into the bedroom from the bathroom in just on of his shirts when she heard Adam come in. He perched on the edge of the bed and started to unlace his boots.

"What do you want?" He eyed her suspiciously. The way she was shaking her hips and cooing at him made him wary. While he wouldn't deny her advances, that only happened if he was sick or completely exhausted and tonight he was neither, that didn't mean he was oblivious to what Kim was doing. He knew her too well but on the other hand he was weak as piss when it came to demanding to know what was going on before he got jiggy with her. There was always time to talk once they'd closed the deal.

"Harsh Baby."

"Harsh?" He scoffed playfully as Kim came and stood between his legs and he immediately grabbed her hips and using his thumbs lifted her shirt and he was a little surprised and delighted to see a very sexy white thong underneath the shirt. He adored her in lacy white underwear; it was all he ever bought her and if she was wearing it he knew he was about to get very lucky. "You are trying to butter me up for something?" He started kissing her stomach and she shivered a little as his rough stubble tickled her skin. "It might be working."

"No."

"We are not buying a new house."

Kim pushed him back onto the bed and positioned herself on top of him; grinding her hips a little until she could feel him starting to respond to her and that didn't take very long at all. "Adam, baby."

"Or getting another bloody dog." While that hadn't been a disaster and they had loved that mutt the novelty had worn off for the kids as soon as she got out of the cute puppy stage and despite their insistence that they would help take care of it Adam spent more time taking it out for a run or cleaning up after it than they did and it was the last thing he wanted to be doing on his days off, cleaning up dog shit and repairing the damage the bloody thing used to do in the backyard. Everyone was devastated when she died and Dorothy was buried in the backyard. He forever cursed the day that they agreed to get a dog after Polly had been introduced to the Wizard of Oz, he tried to talk her out of calling it Dorothy but her sweet little face and cute begging swayed him so it was with much fanfare and a lot of tears that Dorothy was laid to rest under the lemon tree but he was adamant that their pet days were well and truly over.

"I don't want a dog."

"Okay." He dug his fingers into the back of her thighs and started inching them higher. "I know something is going on but right now I really don't care." Kim jumped off his lap and unbuckled his belt.

"How was work?" She asked as Adam started kissing her stomach again and working his shirt up over her head. He had always loved her wearing his shirts, he liked that some days he could smell her scent while he was at work and on those long days that often stretched into several it was a nice reminder of why he needed to keep his wits about him and make sure he eventually made it home.

"Really? You don't care." He pulled her onto the bed and flipped her over and hovered his body above his very eager wife. "I have a feeling I am not going to like what ever it is you are hiding from me right now but I am just going to ignore it and concentrate on this sweet little gift, because you look and feel and taste amazing." She had put a lot of effort into sexy-ing herself up for him obviously hence why he knew he wasn't going to enjoy whatever she wanted to talk about later but right now he just didn't care. He was about to get laid in a big way.

"Adam, shut up." He didn't shut up though; he talked in her ear constantly. It wasn't exactly sweet nothings but he was telling her exactly what he was going to do to her and what he wanted in return. He whispered in her ear to breathe, something he liked to remind her to do because if she held her breath she didn't get the whole body shaking feeling that he loved to give her. He loved that moment just before she lost it completely, he could pick it, that look in her eyes and then he felt it. Adam had spent the last few days flat stick at work and around some rough type of people. Kim could always pick it because his language would get a little edge to it. It was hot and while she didn't always appreciate it tonight it was turning her on big time.

"Can we make that a rule that every time I come home from work you are half naked and horny as a goat?" Adam was trying to catch his breath; it had gotten a little wild because sometimes you just needed to let go of the reins. He ran a hand up her thigh, which was still wrapped around his waist and it was a slick with their combined sweat. They both needed a shower, although right now that probably meant it would have Adam on his knees. He wasn't done, not by a long shot. If Kim was going to try and distract him by jumping his bones she wasn't going to walk away after one wild screw. The night was still young.

"Hmmm." Kim hummed as she was still a little dazed.

Adam sucked on her bottom lip, biting it lightly. "You still with me Darlin'?" He laughed as she jumped a little. She was floating a little right now and it had taken her mind off things which was exactly what she hoped would happen.

Once they had showered, which hadn't exactly been a G rated affair and he did love it when she breathlessly gasped his name, Adam tucked a pillow behind his head and watched as Kim fussed about for a few minutes. She eventually came to bed, sitting up next to him and crossing her legs as she chewed on her bottom lip. "I am not going to like this am I?" Adam felt a flutter of panic. "You are not pregnant are you?"

"No I am not pregnant."

"What then?"

"However, it is about Polly…" she took a deep breath and the sheer look of utter panic on Adam's face was a little amusing and she made him wait just a few seconds. Kim couldn't leave him hanging too long though because she thought he might actually stop breathing. "She is having sex with Sam."

That had obliterated his sex coma; he went from relaxing to almost shooting out of bed in a nanosecond. "Please tell me she's not pregnant?" Kim did not know that Adam's voice could go quite that high.

"Polly is not pregnant, but they have been having sex for a few weeks now."

"I'll fucking kill him."

"You will not."

"But…" he looked down at his out spread hands. "It was only yesterday I held her here, she was so tiny and precious."

"Adam." Kim shrugged. "At least we like him and she is still precious." She'd already done her freaking out, now it was Adam's turn.

"I think I'd rather you be pregnant to be honest." He moaned as he flopped back against the pillows. "Please tell me they are using condoms? Like that boy needs to double wrap it. I know I said I didn't want ugly grandchildren but I've changed my mind, I don't want grandchildren at all for a very long time. I'm too young to be called Pops."

It was one of the first things Kim had asked her. Polly had called out to her Mom when she saw her walk past her open bedroom door. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, gripping it tightly and was looking a little pale. "What's up?"

"Mom." Her voice was a little shaky, from both nerves and because while she had a fair idea what was wrong she was a little freaked out. "I think I have a UTI."

"Oh." It took Kim a second to put two and two together and she exhaled slowly and the second 'Oh' came out with a bit of a whistle.

"It really hurts to go to the bathroom and I feel like I need to go all the time and then hardly anything comes out and now it's like just blood." Polly was almost crying, she was squeezing her knees together tightly and her legs were shaking. Kim remembered her first UTI and they could be extremely painful and frightening especially when you looked down and saw all that blood.

"Okay." She sat next to Polly and felt her forehead to see if she had a fever, which she didn't but she did look a little pale, but that was probably the nerves more than anything. "How long?"

"It's been really bad today but it started yesterday."

"We need to go to the Doctor and get you some antibiotics." Kim slipped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "Polly Sweetheart. Are you and Sam having sex?"

"Yes." Polly was mortified. "It's not Sam's fault."

"Of course it's not. Welcome to the downside of having sex." She couldn't look at her Mom; this was not how she wanted them to find out. She didn't know exactly how she wanted them to discover that she was having sex but this wasn't it. "Can I ask? Just about the sex." Polly nodded. "Sam didn't force you into it did he? You were ready? It was what you wanted."

Polly nodded her head. "I was. We talked about it a lot. Honestly Mom, Sam didn't make do anything, it was what we both wanted."

"And you used protection?"

"Yes."

"Every single time Polly, no exceptions." She had been a little embarrassed when Sam told her that he had already bought some condoms. He tried to reassure her that he wasn't pressuring her into anything but he just wanted to be prepared. By that stage Polly knew it was no longer an _if_ it was going to happen but a more a _when_ but that didn't make it any easier to deal with the thought that Sam was ready and waiting.

"I know." Polly was blushing profusely. "Are you going to tell Dad?"

"Your Dad will want to know."

"Why? He's going to go nuts at Sam."

"No he won't." Kim looked thoughtful for a moment "Well maybe a little bit but at the end of the day he knows how things work, he likes Sam and he knows you love him and that Sam is crazy about you. He'll calm down. Don't forget your Dad was your age once. We've all been here, we both had a first time."

"Maybe you can not tell him for a little bit?"

Kim laughed "No Polly. We knew this was coming sooner rather than later, believe it or not your Dad and I talked about this too and I won't keep things like this a secret from him. I can pretty much guarantee he will freak out, look at you funny, put the hard word on Sam and then move on." She still looked mortified. "He's not going to run over town and hire a sky writer if that's what you are worried about."

"Well, not really. I don't want people to know. I mean I saw how horrible everyone was to Abbey."

Kim squeezed her hand. "Sweetheart, this is not the same. What happened to Abbey wasn't right, not what Simon did or what happened once she went back to school. Sam's not going to be bragging about it, I honestly don't think Sam is like that, do you? I think Sam really cares about you."

"He does, I know he does. We did talk about that too." He'd promised Polly that day at the summer house that this was just between them, what they did or didn't do was nobody's business but theirs and so far no one had said anything to Polly about it and she trusted Sam to keep his word.

"It sounds like you were smart and I like that." Kim felt like she was putting in an award winning performance because she was a little freaked out by it. This was her baby, her little girl all grown up and talking about having sex, and not just hypothetically. She wasn't ready for this.

"I'm not ashamed about having sex, I just don't want everyone to know."

"It will be fine Polly, nobody has to know. It's between you and Sam. I just hope it was everything you wanted it to be."

"It was a little awkward at first and I was scared a bit but Sam was really sweet and patient." She was blushing and it was cute. "I really enjoy it now, we both do." How long exactly had this been going on? Although Kim wasn't sure she wanted to know all the details. Her first time was a rush job in the bedroom at a party. It was hardly memorable or enjoyable although she did 'love' her boyfriend so it wasn't a complete bust. She also knew that once you uncorked that genie there was no getting it back in the bottle so now that they had started it wasn't worth burying their heads in the sand by pretending it wasn't happening.

"Has this been going on a while then?"

"A couple of weeks." Polly didn't really have anyone to talk to; she had Chloe who had been sleeping with Isaac for a while now but that was all. She didn't want people to know because of how people talked about Abbey at school and she couldn't talk to Abbey because it was such a torrid topic for her and she didn't want to talk about how wonderful it was when for Abbey it had been anything but. "Sam seems really happy now."

"You didn't do it just to make Sam happy though right?"

"No, it wasn't like that at all. He said he'd wait until I was ready and he did. I love him Mom, I really do."

"I know you do but you don't have to say yes every time, even now sometimes I still say no to your Dad and he sometimes says no to me." Although to be fair to Adam it was not very often, he was always game. "Even though you and Sam have started having sex it does not mean that you still can't say No if it doesn't feel right or you don't feel like it in that moment. You still have the right to decided the when and where."

"I do like it."

"Of course you do, and I am happy you do. Remember though it's still your body. Sam doesn't own you or your body and he can't make you do anything you feel uncomfortable with. If it's not right for you say so." Although they did honestly believe that Sam would do the right thing by Polly. He seemed to really care about her and if he was only interested in her for sex he probably wouldn't have stuck around through all the crap.

"You like having sex with Dad though right, he says he loves it?" She couldn't look at her Mom. Everything about this had been mortifying, everything except how being with Sam made her feel, that she loved. He had been right; he made her feel amazing.

"Oh Polly, it's wonderful."

"Adam, can you at least breathe?" Kim chuckled a little; her hand was resting on his chest and she was playing with his chest hair and he found it strangely comforting. He was looking a little stunned. They knew this was coming and had talked about it but it still came as a bit of a shock. Polly and Sam were cute together, they had caught them making out on several occasions and they were under no illusions about what went on when they went out to parties together and then there was all the day trips up to the Summer House. They didn't just sit in the corner holding hands and flirting that's for sure. They had even talked about what to do when it became a reality but it was much easier when it was all just a possibility, now it wasn't quite so easy to deal with. Kim was surprised it had taken this long to be honest, whereas Adam thought they'd rushed into it. but he was always going to think that no matter how long they had been together.

"You need to take her to the Doctor and get one of those implant things put in." He waved at the top of her arm. Not that they had worried about things like that for a long time. Even though they knew there was still a slight risk of getting pregnant despite Adam's vasectomy it was a little bit of if it did happen then it was meant to be but they didn't plan on having any more children and apart from one scare a few years ago, when Polly was almost ten they hadn't even thought about it again.

The thought of Adam having to go through another procedure if it had failed was Kim's worst nightmare. He was pathetic the first time round and you would actually think they had surgically hacked into his penis with a rusty scalpel and scooped his testicles out with a spoon. He insisted he needed a week off work to 'recover' and his incessant moaning every time he moved or requests for ice packs drove Kim insane.

Adam had been far from amused when Gus, who was almost three at the time threw the mother of all temper tantrums a few days after his procedure and had caught Adam flush in the nuts with his flailing arms. He'd gone down like a shot dog clutching his man berries and had crawled inside in tears. Kim was in tears too, from laughing and his icy glare made her shiver as he took to his bed like he had a terminal illness. Adam didn't do recovery well and when it involved his pride and joy he was almost unbearable.

Kim threatened to withhold sex for six weeks, seeing as he was so incapacitated. He'd gone a little too far when he told Kim she had no idea how it felt. "Maybe you can just test it out first? Kiss it better?" he had lamely asked for a blowjob when Kim reminded him that she had pushed two of his human beings out of her vagina. "Just to see if it hurts."

"Maybe you can just fuck off and go to sleep."

"Baby…." He started to whine so Kim turned her back on him and it took him approximately three minutes to give up his whining and just get it over with. They certainly didn't set the world on fire that night but it did get him back on the horse and when Kim teased him about how unsatisfied she was he took that as a personal insult and he snapped out of his funk.

"Already done, we went to the Doctors today. Polly's picked up a UTI, that's why she told me." Kim reassured him. Kim took the opportunity while she had to take Polly to the Doctors for her anti-biotics to get her to talk about birth control because she was more than happy to make sure Polly was protected from an unplanned teenage pregnancy. While you had every good intention of always using condoms sometimes things happened. Adam had been a little freaked out when Kim first told him that she wanted to get Polly sorted but the prospect of a teenage pregnancy swayed him. She reminded him of how Polly actually came into being, she'd been on the pill, had thrown up for a few days and they'd had un-protected sex and suddenly they were faced with the prospect of becoming parents.

"A UTI, really? Jesus." Adam let his head drop back onto the bedhead. "Is she okay?" He certainly didn't like the thought that his baby wasn't well, he knew how nasty they could be and he also knew that having sex caused them nine times out of ten and that wasn't helping him cope with this latest development.

"She's starting to feel better. A little embarrassed by it all I think."

"So when did this momentous occasion take place and more importantly where? Not in my house?"

"A few weeks ago apparently and I didn't ask for the details. All I was worried about was that Sam did not force her into it, that they were safe and that she enjoyed it."

"Enjoyed it?" Kim winced at his alarmingly hysterical response. "What? Did you swap sex stories? Compare notes?"

Kim slapped his bare chest playfully. It really didn't help that they were having his conversation and Adam barely had the sheet covering his hips, that line of hair trailing down from his belly button was distracting her. She had put his shirt back on but nothing else. It seemed kind of weird that they were discussing their daughter's sex life half naked in bed having just had sex twice themselves. "No, although she did ask if I loved doing it with you because you told her that you love having sex."

"I hope you didn't tell her how awesome I am, she does not need any encouragement obviously."

"Okay.." Kim snorted. "…Figjam."

"Darlin'. I do believe I just made you quiver, not once but twice, so much so you couldn't actually speak." He slipped his hand between her thighs and made her jump when it hit the spot. "Did you just call me a figjam?" Kim squealed and tried to wiggle away but Adam was way too strong and had her pinned to the bed in an instant. "Because fuck, yes I am good, thanks for asking." He smiled as his fingers kept working their magic. "Especially when it comes to fucking you."

"I hope Sam talks to Polly a little nicer than that." Kim smirked as she relented and worked her hands free and repaid the favour.

"Darlin' do not talk about our daughter having sex right about when I am ready to nail you to the bed."

Make that three times.

"Has Dad gone to work yet?" Polly accosted her mother in the hallway the next morning.

"No."

"Oh okay. Is he mad?"

"Of course he's not mad." Kim tapped Polly on the shoulder as she turned to head back into her bedroom. "You are not hiding up here forever. You need to get to school."

"What time is Dad leaving?"

"After you go to school." The longer Polly avoided seeing her Dad the more chance he had to think about new ways to torture her. They had kept themselves occupied last night until they both almost passed out well and truly satisfied but Kim knew it was the first thing Adam thought about when he woke up.

Adam was sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling through the news. He liked to at least have some idea what was going on in Chicago before he hit up work. Sometimes it gave him a hint of what to expect but usually he spent more time on the sports pages than on the actual news. He sipped his coffee slowly and looked up when Kim came down dressed ready for work. He cocked one eyebrow and did not need to ask. "She's coming." Kim responded and proceeded to pour herself a coffee.

"Terrified?"

"I'd say nervous."

"What does she think I am going to do?"

"Say something completely inappropriate and embarrassing." Kim sipped her coffee, she never got used to how strong he made it some days. "Maybe she heard your hysterical rant last night."

"If that's the case she would have heard you panting and screaming my name over and over again."

"You think you are so funny." Kim slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him just below the ear.

Adam threw his head back and laughed, snaking one arm up around her neck as he pulled her down for another kiss. "Yes I am, but Baby remember how much you liked me last night?"

For once Polly did not comment about her parents PDA, she was hoping that she could get in and out without too much damage so figured the less she said the better. "Good Morning Polly." Adam decided that the best way to freak her out was to act completely normal because that would drive her insane. "You gracing us with your presence for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Have some breakfast Pol. You need to eat to take your antibiotics." That was all he said. Polly looked like she was about to pass out at the table but Adam just ate his breakfast and drank his coffee like usual and that was probably worse. It was always the anticipation of what was coming that got to Polly, the reality was never as bad but the anticipation killed her and Adam was the master at it.

"How's your arm?"

"Dad." Polly whined, desperately looking at her mother and Kim took pity on her and shook her head at Adam.

"What? I am just asking." Muttering into his cup of coffee. "Jeez, it was a simple question. No need for a hissy fit."

Angus came in and was completely oblivious to anything going on, like a typical teenage boy he was motivated by food and thankfully not yet motivated by the opposite sex. One child having sex was more than enough for both of them right now. Even when Adam came back in with his gun strapped on he did not bat an eyelid and kept shovelling his breakfast in without taking a breath. "So, how's Sam?" Adam smirked and Kim tried to stop him but that was like trying to hold back the tide.

Polly actually choked on her cereal. "Why?"

"I _liked_ Sam." He adjusted his weapon and Polly looked at her mother desperately, they were both smart enough to pick up that Adam had used past tense, but she got no help this time.

Adam and Kim left for work together, the kids had to find their own way to school today, a bit of self-sufficiency never killed anyone. It didn't take long until Kim's phone was beeping with a message from Polly. _'What is Dad going to do to Sam?'_ Kim showed it to Adam and they both laughed all the way into work as they messages kept flying back and forth.

 _'Nothing, he wants to know when he is coming for dinner?'_

 _'He's going to bring home a long gun isn't he?'_

 _'I haven't asked him, do you want me too? He's right here.'_

 _'No, I want you to talk to him and tell him to leave Sam alone.'_

 _'Dad wants to know if Sam wants to come to the firing range on Saturday?'_

 _'Mom, make him stop. This is embarrassing. I'll never see him again.'_

Kim told her to stop being so dramatic as they pulled into the parking lot and signed off with a _'we love you._ ' as they headed inside.

Kim let out a sad sigh when Adam kept laughing. "I think you are having too much fun with this?" Adam tickled the palm of her hand lightly. They didn't display much affection at work if possible. A tough case or rough day would warrant to moment or two in the locker room but outside of that it was strictly professional. He often made up for it with a perfectly timed racy message or a sweet note, slipped into a file about how much he was missing her.

"This is actually better than I imagined. Polly doesn't have much of a poker face does she?"

"Don't torture her."

"I am not going to torture her, Sam on the other hand."

As soon as her parents left the house Polly rang Sam. "My Dad knows." rushed out before he even had the chance to say hello. Polly had been embarrassed to tell him about the UTI when she talked to him last night but all Sam was worried about was that she was okay. He had sisters so he knew these things happened. It also meant that she had told her Mom and that meant only one thing, her Dad was next. He was a little bit surprised when Polly told him that her mother had insisted she get birth control sorted at the same time and she now had an implant in. He imagined that went down like a lead balloon with her father too. Quite honestly he was expecting a bit more of a shit fight.

"And he hates me?"

"I don't know. He didn't say anything, except ask when you are coming to dinner."

"I am not sure I want to." He really did like her parents and got on well with her Dad but that was before he slept with his daughter. Polly was panicking and he wasn't that far behind her.

"Mom will keep him under control."

"Polly, he has guns."

"So? We just stop seeing each other?" Polly surprised him by bursting into tears. The anticipation of her father's reaction meant that she'd had a restless night and she was tired and coupled with still feeling crappy she was more than a little emotional. "I don't want to stop seeing you. I love you Sam."

"Polly, babe. I love you too. Of course I'll come over for dinner. I'll be shitting myself but I am not stopping seeing you. Gun or no gun. Don't cry Babe." Sam hated hearing her cry. It hadn't been easy dating Polly, they'd got together at a really rough time in her life and he'd learnt to be patient and now it was paying off. He wasn't walking away now. His mates kept telling him to burn her, to cut her loose because of the drama but he couldn't do that. He liked her too much and then he fell in love with her.

The look on both their faces when Sam eventually did show up for dinner was priceless. It was the most awkward meal ever and not because of anything Adam said but because Polly was so nervous she was just tried to fill every single moment of silence with something so that her Dad didn't get the chance to say something stupid.

Adam was almost laughing at Polly and kept eyeing off Kim who also found it hard to keep a straight face. When she drew breath and started to relax Adam pounced. "So cherries for dessert, do you like cherries Sam?"

"Dad." Polly shrieked, drawing more attention to the conversation than needed to be. Poor Sam had no idea what he was talking about but Polly did and so did Kim who would have kicked him under the table if he were close enough. Ever since that night when Polly first admitted something was going on with Abbey and the conversation about 'popping cherries' came up Adam had never forgotten and he didn't let Polly forget it either.

"What? I just want to know if he likes all types of cherries or just fresh…."

"Adam." Kim barked at him.

Sam coughed nervously. "I like Cherries." Although he had no idea what he was agreeing too. Perhaps it was better if he didn't. He'd just been grateful that there were no guns visible when he arrived.

"You're so not funny." Polly was not enjoying this one bit.

"What's wrong with Cherries?" Angus was completely oblivious to the conversation going on around him, Sam was starting to get an idea though, it had to come at some point and quite frankly he was surprised it had taken this long.

"There is nothing wrong with cherries Gus, your Dad is being an idiot." Kim was doing her best not to let this get any further out of control than it already was but in reality it was an impossible task.

"So are we having Cherry pie for dessert or not?" Gus's innocence was endearing. He wasn't helping the situation but it was cute.

"No we are not."

"Pity, I hear it's Sam's favourite." Adam muttered under his breath.

"Can you just stop talking please?" Polly asked him desperately and Kim agreed with her. He held up his hand and promised to stop. As soon as they were finished with dinner Polly jumped up to clear the dishes, she couldn't get out of there quick enough and Sam went to follow her until Adam stopped him with just a look. He knew he had to talk to Polly's Dad so he may as well get it over and done with.

Polly just about had a conniption when Sam followed her Dad outside after dinner. "Polly calm down." Kim insisted.

"Dad is going to do something stupid." She was flapping her arms about. "He's going to hurt Sam. He needs to know it was my idea, I made Sam do it."

"He is not going to do anything stupid or hurt Sam." Although Kim wasn't entirely sure that was true, she was hoping he was all bark and no bite. At the end of the day Polly was his daughter and having her grow up into a beautiful young woman was no walk in the park and Adam had always warned both of them that he wasn't going to cope well with her dating. "Do you really want to go out there and tell your Dad that you made Sam have sex with you? I'd really like to hear that conversation."

"No, but…"

"Polly. You knew this would happen. Despite what you think your Dad is not an idiot, he knows how things like this work, he was Sam's age once you know. He likes Sam but he is always going to make sure you are okay, first and foremost. He's not going to do anything to Sam." Kim rested her hands on Polly shoulders and made her look at her. "So you can go out and then both of you will have to sit and listen to that conversation and I think that might be far more awkward for both of you. I am sure Sam will tell you everything your Dad says. Or you can stay here and calm down."

Adam rolled his beer bottle between his hands as he leant over the railing and Sam stood like a statue beside him. "You know how much we love Polly. She's my daughter and I am always going to be on her side. This shit that she's been through lately I never wanted either of my kids to see. It's made me, unfortunately for you all the more protective."

"I love Polly." Sam blurted out because he had no idea what else to say.

Adam stared at him for just a minute. "I know you do, Sam don't hurt her."

"I don't plan on it. Mr Ruzek, I really love her, she's sweet and beautiful and she makes me happy. I love being around her." He gushed out nervously.

"You make her happy and we are so grateful for how much you've helped her lately. I am not going to say I am over the moon about the sex thing but I am not stupid either. Just be careful, use condoms, respect her and respect us and we won't have a problem. Okay?"

"I promise."

"Then we are good, although if you call me Mr Ruzek again I might just shoot you. You are sleeping with my daughter, I think Adam is fine now."

"Okay…" He still did choke a little "Adam."

"Although I do feel the need to remind you about my guns and I did pass my firearm recertification recently with my highest degree of accuracy yet."

"Oh believe me, that I don't forget."

Adam clapped him on the shoulder. "Right now, let's go and completely freak her out again, because if I have to deal with my daughter having sex I am going to get as much mileage out of it as possible." He really did like this kid despite the fact he'd popped his daughter's cherry.

"What did you do?" Polly almost knocked her father over when they came back in. Her eyes shooting back and forward between her father and boyfriend. "Did he hurt you? Are you bleeding?" she asked Sam.

Adam grabbed her arms lightly and laughed. "I didn't do anything. Jesus Polly, I left my weapon inside, that's what you wanted wasn't it? I did however talk to Sam about his weapon."

"Dad." She screeched, looking desperately at her mother. Sam stood back and watched on helplessly. One thing he did love about being here was the light-heartedness and joking that went on. it was a fun house to be around. He liked how no matter how hard Polly's Mom tried she couldn't rein her Dad in, and while he was deadly serious about him not hurting Polly he never actually felt threatened by him. He knew where he stood, he knew hurting Polly wouldn't be good for his health but if he treated her right he was always welcome under their roof.

He was glad he didn't listen to the warnings to stay away from Polly Ruzek, because they all stemmed from the fact her father had a reputation for being a hard ass. He was honest and straightforward but that was not a bad thing, he also loved a joke, was laid back and was pretty easy to talk to. At the end of the day he had his reputation from the work he did and it was nothing like how he was at home and around his family.

Sam had been patient and eventually Polly came back to him and the longer they spent together the closer they got, it was always bubbling away under the surface.

A few days after Polly had gone away with her Mom she had finally admitted to him that she loved him and he knew that was a big thing for her. He also knew that she'd talked to her Dad. They had been mucking about at her house playing twister and he was beating her constantly. When Polly finally had him in a good position and she knew she was about to win but just to make sure she leant close to him and whispered in his ear. "I love you Sam." And when he turned to look at her he tumbled to the ground. Polly leapt in the air, out of his desperate grasp and jumped up and down celebrating her victory.

"You just said that so you could win."

"Maybe." She threw her head back and laughed with her hands on her hips and looking impossibly cute. "Or maybe I said it because I meant it."

Sam sat up quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her down squealing on top of him. "I hope it's because you meant it."

"I do, I do mean it." It had certainly set the train in motion although nothing was going to happen that day, her parents could walk through the door at any minute and Sam wasn't going to rush things. He really wanted to savour every minute of it and he wanted Polly to be able to look back on this moment and never regret it.

When they finally had his place to themselves on the weekend things heated up very quickly and it wasn't long until they got to the point where Polly always made him stop, sure lately that had been teetering on the edge and they'd certainly spent a lot of time feeling each other out. Polly reached for his belt and started trying to undo his jeans. Sam stopped and groaned loudly, she was seriously pushing him right to the edge. "Pol?"

"Sam, just keep going."

"Hey." He made her look at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I want you to be sure, you know I want this, and you know what I want to do."

"Sam, can we keep going please. I don't want to stop now."

"Polly you are shaking." Although he desperately wanted this to happen he needed to make sure Polly did as well. He'd been here before, she hadn't and he knew that feeling. That nervousness, the anticipation and the worrying thoughts about if it was really what you wanted or was it just getting carried away in the moment? He didn't want her to regret it.

"Because I am scared."

"Of what?"

"That it's going to hurt." She chewed on the corner of her mouth nervously "And I don't think that I am going to be good at this. You've done this before…." He stopped her talking by capturing her lower lip with his mouth and sucking on it lightly. She was a bundle of nerves, not that he was much better. When she had grabbed at his belt buckle and started undoing it his heart started beating wildly and he knew he would struggle to stop. Luckily he didn't have too.

He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm before resting it on his stomach. "You are great at this, you make me feel amazing, I love it when you touch me, you know what that does to me. And Polly, I already love you, this doesn't change that. Whether we do this or not doesn't change that, I can wait."

"I don't want to wait anymore." So they didn't.

Polly had her head buried in the pillow when Sam came back into the bedroom from the bathroom. He kissed her on her bare shoulder as he knelt down beside her and leant his elbows on the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Polly, look at me?" Slowly she unburied her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Sam."

He leant down and kissed her softly. "I love you. That was awesome."

"It was?"

"It was perfect. You are perfect."

"I think I liked it." She admitted a little coyly and Sam had to admit her shyness was very endearing, sexy even. Polly did not realise the power of her sexuality. She did not realise the hold she had over him, he was putty in her hands.

"You think?" he chuckled, pressing his nose against hers.

"No, I definitely liked it. Can we do it again?"

"Only if you tell me you love me."

Polly snaked one hand out from underneath the pillow and grabbed his arm and Sam used his free hand and ran his fingers up and down her spine and she felt her whole body come alive again. She had desperately tried to hang on to the feeling that washed over her when she realised what they had just done. All her anxiety had been blown away by the moment but when he left momentarily to go to the bathroom she did start to panic and worried about what Sam thought.

Grabbing his hand she tugged on it and he jumped up and crawled back into bed with her. "I love you."


	26. A Hammer or A Gun

Kim was going to kill him, of that he had no doubt. He'd learnt very early on that if her children got hurt on his watch, it was his fault. Polly had taken a tumble when she had just started to pull herself up against the furniture and ended up with a huge egg shaped bruise on her forehead and Kim had flipped and chewed Adam out. It took a good few weeks before he was trusted with looking after her again.

Even when Angus had broken his wrist in a skateboarding accident it had been blamed on Adam. He was at work at the time and copped an earful of abuse from Kim because he had 'bought him the damn skateboard in the first place.' He'd been surprised that Angus's recent run in with food poisoning wasn't blamed on him; thank god it was something he ate before she left town and not something that Adam had fed him.

So having to now call her from the Emergency Department of Chicago Med and tell her that Angus had dislocated his knee in the first game of the season wasn't exactly filling him with any joy.

Even though Gus had been playing baseball and Adam was only watching, it was going to be his fault, it wasn't going to matter if he was anywhere near him at the time or not and it was something he already accepted before he even dialled her number.

He was glad Kim hadn't been there though because it was a pretty horrific. He'd seen worse, he'd seen people who had been dead for weeks, dissolved in acid, shot in the head and all manner of different ways to die but hearing his son scream in agony and seeing his kneecap jutting out the side of his leg just about did him in. He hated seeing his kids hurt especially when there was nothing he could do about it.

The instant he'd slid into home and Adam heard the scream he was out of his seat, leaping over bleachers and the fence as everyone crowded around him at the plate. They'd called an Ambulance when it was quite obvious that Gus couldn't be moved and that the kneecap wasn't going back in on it's own. He'd looked for his Dad when a sea of faces swam before him and Adam held his hand and told them not so politely to back off because Angus was freaking out and Adam knew how it felt to have all these people up in your face when you were hurt. He just needed his dad with him and to tell him it was going to be okay.

He gathered up Gus's gear and followed them to the hospital. He did contemplate calling Kim on the way but she would yell at him, demand answers and expect him to know exactly what was happening so he decided to wait until Gus had been checked out. He was screwed either way so what did an extra half-hour really matter?

"Hey Darlin'." He cooed. If he was sounding weird, Kim was too freaked out herself to notice. He could hear noise around her so figured she wasn't home, although he was surprised she'd gone out. Kim had told him that she was staying home to get on top of some chores, it was the reason she couldn't go to Gus's game apparently but Adam knew it was because she just wanted to stay home after being on the go all week and he couldn't blame her. She had spent most of the week in a training seminar and it was just mentally exhausting.

"How did it go?" She mumbled somewhat absentmindedly and Adam furrowed his brow a little. This wasn't normal but he was just going to plough on.

"Not the greatest morning. I am at Med." Adam held the phone away from his ear waiting for the inevitable tirade he was about to get.

"Wait, what, Why? Is Gus okay?" There was a little bit of concern in her voice but not nearly as much as he expected. Funnily enough she didn't ask if Adam was okay, he doubted she cared but he was pretty comfortable with his position in the pecking order.

"He's dislocated his knee and before you drop your bundle, he's fine. We are just getting an X-ray done now."

"God Adam, What the hell happened?" He felt a little more comfortable now that Kim at least was starting to sound freaked out. "Is he okay?" He explained the play and what happened with the Ambulance and what was going on at Med. He'd had the kneecap popped back in once he got into Emergency. A good dose of morphine and was as happy as Larry right now. Once the X-ray was done and cleared he could go home.

"How long will you be?"

"Whoa, whoa Darlin' you are freaking me out."

"What? Why?" Neither of them was acting anywhere near normal.

"Well I broke one of our children for starters."

"You didn't actually break Gus, did you?" He could hear her exasperation down the phone and that was enough for him to laugh sarcastically and call her on her bullshit.

"No I didn't but usually that doesn't matter to you, so what's going on?"

"Nothing. Not much I can do about it right now."

She could try and fool him all she liked; something was up. He wasn't that stupid. "Except drive down here and demand an inquiry and my balls on a plate. That's what my wife would do? What have you done with her?"

"Try and rein in your hysteria. I am sure you are doing enough freaking out at Med for the both of us."

Now he was seriously starting to worry. This was very un-Kim like and his wife acting strange always meant that he wasn't going to like what he was about to be told. It wasn't that long ago they'd had their little late night romp right before she'd told him that Polly and Sam were sleeping together. "Well this is bullshit. What's going on? Where are you?"

"Ikea."

"Hold on, why?" Adam was more than happy to miss a trip to Ikea because he hated it more than anything, no sane man enjoyed visiting that clusterfuck of a place but it also worried him because they hadn't talked about needing any new furniture and it also usually meant he had to put it together and that never ended well. For him, the furniture and anyone within spitting distance. He did not want to spend the rest of his weekend putting together furniture and Kim refused to pay anyone to do it for them as well as refusing to help him. Ikea furniture and the Ruzek household was a heady dangerous mix.

"We are buying a new bed for Polly."

"Why?" Adam couldn't help but sound suspicious. "She's got a good enough bed. I hope you are not getting her a bigger bed?" Polly and Gus both had Queen size beds much to Adam's annoyance at the time. He'd been crammed into a single bed until he was 16 yet his kids could spread out from the time they hit 12. It was just another battle he'd lost along the way; it wasn't a short list either.

"Don't be stupid."

"Then please tell me why exactly are we buying Polly a new bed?" This was a complete surprise to him and usually things like this were discussed to within an inch of it's life until he usually relented just because he was sick of talking about it and then he was hauled from store to store for weekends on end until he lost the will to live and agreed to let Kim get what she wanted.

"Her bed is broken."

"Since when?"

"Since she broke it." Kim sighed matter of factly like he should have somehow known it was broken.

"She broke her bed?" The high-pitched tone of Adam's voice actually made the nurse walking past Angus's cubicle stop briefly. "I hope when you say she broke her bed, you mean Polly broke her bed. What the hell was she doing? Or do I not want to know? Please tell me Sam had nothing to do with it?"

"Okay, Sam had nothing to do with it."

"Are you lying to me?"

"Yes."

Basically Adam's day was going from bad to worse. Not only had he dealt with his son having his kneecap poke out at odd angles, he also was stunned to see four girls weeping hysterically at the fence as Angus was lying in the dirt and that quickly descended into some screaming match between the overly emotional teenagers. Who knew that baseball games were now the new pick up joint? Apparently Angus Ruzek was his father's son and was developing quite the following.

He had beaten off two of them at the hospital when they both appeared demanding to know how he was. Clara and Ebony were a little intense as they rushed towards him and Adam did wonder what they'd be like if he was actually seriously hurt. He struggled with his own daughter's epic tear festivals; he wasn't particularly interested in these random girls crying like their world had ended because his son was injured. The only reason he went out and spoke to them was because they were creating some kind of scene in the waiting room and refused to leave until they'd seen Gus. That wasn't going to happen so Adam went and basically told them they needed to leave and that Gus was doing fine.

Holding onto Gus's phone also revealed 14 messages of varying degrees of concern and an alarming offer to help him recover. Adam had to read that one a few times to make sure of what he'd read. This was insane. When the hell did this become a thing?

Now he had Kim telling him that Polly's bed was broken and her boyfriend was somehow involved. "What the actual fuck?"

"Adam calm down."

"Calm down. I am at the hospital beating off all manner of random screaming teenage girls who think that Gus is clinging to life; I think I've even witnessed an actual scrag fight over our son. He's quite the stud apparently, like father like son obviously." He just had to add that in. "And by the way he is jacked up to the eyeballs on morphine right now and saying stupid shit." Adam was talking at a million miles an hour and although Kim couldn't see him she could imagine that he was waving his arms around like a madman. "And now, now you are telling me our daughter was having some sexcapade with her horny boyfriend and we are now buying them a new bed so that they can continue their extra curricular activities. I am not so sure that calm down is going to work."

"They were not having a sexcapade. It was 9am."

"Because we never have sex in the morning. Was this morning that forgettable?" It hadn't taken Adam much to convince Kim to join him in the shower that morning and they'd certainly got hot and heavy pretty quickly. He'd barely been home all week and basically complained that he couldn't function properly without sex and she'd had the 'week off', not that Kim really minded. Shower sex did have its appeal and Adam certainly knew how to turn a few spare minutes into a very hot and steamy session.

"He went in to wake her up, he was in there for like five minutes."

"Again…." Adam was far from enjoying this. "Did you forget about this morning? Five minutes is long enough, he's young and probably has a hair trigger. I am sure he had it half out of his holster before he got through the door."

"What's your excuse then?" Adam certainly didn't enjoy it when the joke was on him and his lack of response told Kim he was ignoring her latest comment. "Whatever. The bed is broken and she needs a new one."

"Well Sam can help me put the new one together. That'll teach him about sexcapading in my house."

"Can you actually stop yourself over-reacting?" Kim cringed at the thought. She knew precisely how frustrated Adam got with Ikea furniture, so much so that nobody would go within a bull's roar of him when he was doing it. Sam was not going to fare well.

"No."

At least he was honest. How he managed to be so cool, calm and collected in the middle of a raid or shoot out yet be so hysterically insane when it came to his children's antics amused Kim no end.

"And what's this about a scrag fight?"

"It seems your son has about 14 fucking screaming teenage girls fighting over him. Did you know that apparently this is a thing, going to games to parade around wearing shorts so everyone can see what you had for breakfast and shaking your tits at the boys? Polly's not wearing that shit anymore. Those games are like a pick-up joint or something. It's a steaming pile of teenage sex hormones, it reeks of it." He was pacing around the tiny observation room liked a caged animal. His children were either going to send him to an early grave or turn him into an alcoholic. He was barely coping with Polly's sudden change from enjoying a hand holding sweet teenage romance to a fully-fledged sex fuelled relationship. So now he not only had a horny boy breaking furniture in a effort to throw his leg over he also had a flock of horny emotional teenage girls ready to descend on his house in pursuit of his son. He was still recovering from Polly's wild foray through her mid teens; the thought of embarking on a whole new cycle of misery was far from appealing.

"Since when?"

"That's a really good question Kim, why don't you come in here and ask him and I will take our sex loving daughter and her horny boyfriend bed shopping. How'd you think that'd go?" Suddenly the hysteria had disappeared as Adam's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"This is exactly why Polly has spent the entire morning hyperventilating."

"I can tell you one person who will be hyperventilating later on." He mumbled into the phone. "Anyway Gus is back from X-ray. I will try and beat my way through the crowd of weeping screaming hormonal teenager girls and see you at home."

"Adam." Kim waited until he grunted a reply. "Love you Baby."

"Yes Darlin'. The feeling is mutual."

"What did Dad say?" Kim went in search for Polly who was trying to decide which bed she wanted. As much as Adam was unimpressed, Kim wasn't exactly having the time of her life either, Ikea on a Saturday was bloody horrific and eventually she told Polly to choose between two and be done with it, she was not spending all day dithering about it.

"He's looking forward to putting your new bed together and is sure Sam is going to love to help."

"Noooo." Her response was probably a little more dramatic than it needed to be.

"Ahh, Polly. Dad didn't make it sound like it was an option."

"Dad will kill him. I know what he's like with Ikea stuff he always wants to use a hammer." The hyperventilating was about to start again. Kim could see exactly whom Polly inherited her flair for the ridiculous from.

"Perhaps that might be worth remembering before your next little rendezvous."

"We weren't doing anything."

"Yet. You weren't doing anything yet." Kim corrected her, she was pretty sure they weren't actually in the midst of it but things were heading that way in an awful hurry and the flushed looks on their faces was a dead give away. Lucky Adam wasn't actually home. There was a big difference between acting cool and actually being cool about it. He was taking more of a 'hear no evil, see no evil' approach to the whole thing and it was working although today might have been a bridge too far.

"Mom. Jeez."

"By the way, your Dad is at the hospital with Gus. He dislocated his knee so this news hasn't exactly made his day. That and the fact that he seems to be beating off a hoard of distraught girls, although that could be an exaggeration knowing your father, hasn't put him in the best of moods."

"Is Gus okay?"

"Yep. They should be home soon." Adam had sent her through some particularly unpleasant photos and an update that the relocation was successful, no real damage done and that he had at least six weeks of rehab ahead of him. Which would make him as grumpy as all hell, particularly if he took after his father. Adam's rehab record wasn't spectacular; he was moody, whiny and very annoying and those Ruzek genes were strong little buggers, both their kids had more than a fair dose of them.

"Gus always has girl's hanging around." Polly snorted with utter disdain. "Apparently some girls think he's cute."

"Really?" Kim was intrigued. Gus barely even mentioned a girl's name; he seemed non-plussed with it all. "Anyone in particular?"

"No, don't think so. He's a bit oblivious to it all I reckon." Polly shrugged. She tried not to spend time listening to the rumours at school about her brother, she had better things to think about. "I think there is one girl he likes. I don't know."

Oh how she longed for the days when they were cute little munchkins that they could pretend they controlled.

"So Bud, all these girls?" Adam got him back in the car without too much trouble; his fan club thankfully seemed to have disappeared. He was on crutches and the news that he was out for at least six weeks did not make him happy although he was too high to care much right now. He did tell Adam that he loved the drugs.

"What? They are embarrassing."

He did like that Angus seemed to be popular. He loved his kids; he thought they were both pretty spectacular so he was a little bit proud to see so many of his friends were excessively worried about him. "They seem pretty upset that you are hurt. I think there may be some actual fights going on between these girls."

"I swear some of them are nuts."

"I hope you aren't leading them on. That's not cool Gus."

"Dad, come on. I barely speak to them." Adam got the distinct impression that the only reason Angus was so forthcoming with information was because he was high as a kite on pain meds so he was going to strike while the iron was hot.

"So there is none that you like?"

"Olive."

"Which one is she?" It was a name that he hadn't recalled seeing. There were no messages from her and he couldn't quite recall the name of the two at the hospital but it definitely wasn't Olive.

"The only one that won't talk to me."

"You're not having sex with any of them are you?" He was only fourteen and that was way too young. Polly was seventeen and was too young in his books, not that he could do anything about that now but Adam had been 16 when he first had sex and it seemed things like this were happening younger and younger these days. He was sure Kim would have been subtler about it but she had told Adam that Gus was his responsibility to talk to and now seemed like as good a time as any.

"Fuck Dad, no."

"A simple no would have been sufficient there Gus, just saying." Gotta love the drugs and if Adam hadn't been on a rapid descent into insanity he would have found his son's enthusiastic reply amusing. "Do you want to?"

"No. I told you they are crazy. Jack did it recently and said the girl is now batshit crazy, won't leave him alone." Adam frowned. What the hell were fourteen-year-old boys doing having sex, and more to the point how old were these girls? How had this day got so far off course? He swore if he looked in the mirror right now he'd have half a head full of new grey hairs and a gazillion new wrinkles.

"Well I don't think batshit crazy is a way to talk about the girl you are sleeping with?" Adam kind of wished he'd never bought it up but all he could do know was plough on, and drink later. "Do you? It's not very nice, nor is it nice to talk to all your buddies about it. You wouldn't like people talking about Polly like that would you and you saw what bullying did to Abbey when she came back to school. I'd be pretty bloody disappointed in you if I found out you had any part in something like that."

"I didn't. He just told me. I don't want to know and I told him that. I didn't like what happened to Abbey and no one talks about Polly like that."

"Glad to hear it."

"Although you apparently are a DILF." Angus sniggered.

"What?"

"A Dad they'd like to fu….."

Adam held up his hand to stop him. "Okay Gus, I've got it. No need to elaborate." What they hell was going on today? Were they being filmed for some kind of reality TV show? This was ridiculous.

"Talk about embarrassing." He muttered. "I mean it's gross enough thinking about you and Mom doing it."

Adam cringed a little, he did recall how freaked out he was at the thought of his parents having sex, although to be fair he was pretty certain his Mom and Dad only had sex once. "I am more concerned about you Gus and what's going on with you."

"Dad I am not having sex, to be honest it sounds kinda weird and a bit gross. Like why would you want to stick it in something?" Adam gasped a little. If only he knew how good that part was but he was relieved to think they had a few more years at least but he also knew that hormones made you do crazy things and his could explode at any minute.

"This girl who sent you the message about a blow job? You know that's not cool either?"

"What, blow jobs? Not what I heard." No doubt the drugs were helping this conversation and Adam was pretty sure he was either not going to remember any of it or at least pretend it never happened, although Adam felt he was no longer going to need just a glass of whiskey, it was more like the whole damn bottle at this rate. "That's not sex anyway."

"Well they are not a bad thing..." he had to admit, he was quite partial to them on occasions, he wouldn't have been upset if they happened more often though. "...but I mean girls going around offering blowjobs to make you like them, that's not good Gus. That's not why you should do it. And it's all part of sex Bud, all of it."

"Do you still like them at your age?"

"My age?" Adam almost choked. "Jesus Angus, we are hardly nursing home bound. Put it this way, your Mom and I have been together a long time, we know how to make each other happy and let's just leave it at that." Now he was praying that he wouldn't remember because if Kim found out that he all but admitted that he enjoyed getting a blowjob she would quite likely bite it off at the next opportunity.

"Do you have to like, return the favour?" Adam couldn't believe his son was asking him this. How the hell do you answer that?

"It's not tit for tat, Angus. One doesn't necessarily lead to the other but I love making your Mom happy." Adam took a moment and looked at Angus from the corner of his eye as he drove. His eyes were closed and he hoped like hell he was asleep so he wouldn't have to answer whatever insane question he asked next. He couldn't deal with Angus asking him if his mother still enjoyed oral sex but he hoped like hell she did because he wasn't ready to give it up just yet despite their apparent advancing age.

When he did open his eyes again he seemed to be on a different tack. "Does Mom drive you crazy sometimes? Like is this what all girls are like? Did she call you all the time? Or did she play hard to get?"

"Yes, she does drive me crazy sometimes and that's one of the many things I love about her. Don't forget we were much older and more importantly we were friends first before we got together and she still calls me all the time, just as much as I call her to be honest." Hard to get? He was going to ignore that question. No Kim wasn't hard to get, but as it turned out, as much as he tried she was hard to forget.

"I really like you and Mom together."

"Me too Bud. You know if and when you do decide to have sex you've got to protect yourself and your girlfriend. I will buy you the condoms if need be."

"Do you buy them for Polly and Sam?"

Today had certainly been an eye-opener, while Angus appeared to be a little behind the eight ball with regards to the opposite sex and sex in general it turns out that wasn't the case. "Absolutely."

Although that was something else Adam preferred not to have to think about. He was comfortable that Polly was protected against pregnancy and by the constant eye rolling she did whenever they bought up safe sex he assumed that the condom message was well and truly drummed into her. "Yes Dad, we have like a bulk order at the pharmacy." Polly finally got sick of his constant asking. "They know Sam by first name now. He's got a frequent shopper card."

"Okay smart ass." He grumbled and got the hint.

Angus snorted. "I know they are having sex Dad. It's pretty obvious."

"It is?"

"Sure." He shrugged. "They are all over each other like a rash sometimes. Sam is always feeling her up and she likes it."

Fan- _fucking_ -tastic.

Kim had finally started actually like he expected, she was freaking out. Angus had showered, somewhat awkwardly and was now set up downstairs on the couch with everything he needed when Kim got home. He had his phone, a drink, pillows, blankets and the controls to the TV and his games all within reaching distance.

He was still high and couldn't stand for long but he felt sweaty and disgusting so Adam made sure he was at least clean before his mother got home. And some point this was going to become his fault, it may take the tiniest little thing to send her over the edge but it was coming. "It's either me or your mother?" Adam told him when he started to complain about Adam being in the bathroom with him and he reminded him that his mother may not have been quite so intent on just standing back and watching. Although he didn't care back when he was as sick as a dog and on all fours vomiting that Adam was in there helping him, right now though he didn't love it "Which is it?" He agreed that perhaps his Dad was a better choice.

"Mom is going to flip out isn't she?"

"Yes."

'Why does she do that?"

"Because she pushed you out of her vagina so that gives her all the right in the world to flip out. Despite the shit you pulled regularly throughout her pregnancy she still loved you the moment you stuck your tiny little head out." Angus was very aware of how much his mother struggled through her pregnancy with him.

"What's your excuse?"

"Well you weren't exactly the immaculate conception Gus. I hope to god you do know how babies are made or what the hell do they teach you at that bloody expensive school? You know I did play quite a significant part in you being here." Adam added somewhat flippantly. He really was beyond it today, he no longer had the energy to decide what was appropriate or not. "And if I don't care your mother will have my balls in a sling."

"Sounds nasty."

"It's not ideal." He helped Angus hop out of the shower and handed him a towel. "And despite the ridiculous amount of money you cost us and the grief you and your sister cause us, quite frequently I might add we do actually like both of you. A hell of a lot."

"God Angus. Are you okay?" Kim rushed through the door, throwing her bag down and was sitting beside him in an instant and started fussing incessantly which Adam had reminded him to be patient about. This was the Kim he was used too, not that other strangely weird version from earlier on.

"I am. Hurt like hell but the drugs help. I'm glad Dad was there and not you."

"Why?"

"You would have cried."

"Yes I would and I am not at all sorry about that."

"I know, I know you pushed me out of your vagina so I have to let you freak out." While Adam had gotten used to his drug fuelled ramblings Kim was a little shocked by it. Adam had told her he was saying stupid shit but she did think he was just being his typical over dramatic self but judging by this current conversation obviously not.

"Adam." Kim bellowed but he had taken off upstairs like a rat up a drainpipe. She turned back to Angus. "What did they say about your knee?"

"Six weeks before I can play again so that's basically the first half of the season and it will take me ages to get back in the team. It's bullshit." Kim, of course knew all this from Adam but she wanted to hear it again.

Adam had been upstairs pulling apart the now broken bed in Polly's room. He did not want to know how this amount of damage occurred considering that Sam apparently was just waking her up. How the fuck did he do that? Swing from the light fitting? Body slam her? Although the thought of anyone body slamming his daughter sent shivers up his spine.

"Where is this god damn bed?" He found Kim in the kitchen making Angus something for lunch. "Where is Polly?"

"You think she wants to be here right now? I dropped her off at the shops, she wanted to buy some new sheets for her bed."

"What? Are her old sheets not good enough for her sexcapades? Did they ruin them too?" She really hoped they were going to laugh about this day later on because it was seriously crazy. He held up his hand. "On second thoughts I don't want to know."

"Adam, seriously. Let it go."

"I will not let it go. Have you seen that bed?" He was waving his arms in the general direction of Polly's room upstairs. He was looking like a madman to be honest, his hair was sticking out a right angles and he basically had a permanent scowl on his face. "They didn't just break it, it's like in tiny little pieces."

"Stop being such a drama queen."

He waved her away as he grabbed a glass of water. "Whatever. Where is the new sexcapade bed?"

"It's being delivered. It should be here sometime after four."

"Great and it takes 12 fucking hours to put together anything from Ikea so I'll be up until fucking 4am making a bed so Polly can continue bumping uglies with the boyfriend." Suddenly Sam had become 'the boyfriend' a sure sign that Adam was annoyed. When anyone annoyed him they became known as a title rather than by name. Even when Kim pissed him off she would sometimes become 'the wife'. It wasn't Sam's lucky day.

"Your hysteria is quite amusing."

"You are not helping." Finally he sat down at the table and pulled Kim into his lap and buried his head into her chest and moaned. "I want my babies back."

"I thought you couldn't wait until they grew up?"

"Yes, but I didn't think it would be like this."

"It could be worse."

"I know." And they did, while today had been a wild ride it was so much more preferable than what they had dealt with lately. This was so minor in the grand scheme of things and they had to be grateful that this was all it was. A dislocated knee, a few hormonal teenagers and a randy pair of young adults careening around their house was hardly world ending. It didn't mean they had to handle it gracefully though and Adam was proving to be anything but graceful.

Kim took Angus through his lunch and came back to make them something to eat. "What's this about all these girls or was that you being overly dramatic again?"

"No, sadly it is not. Apparently your son is quite the ladies man although he swears that they are chasing him not vice versa. The actual girl he does like, Olive is playing hard to get."

"Poor Baby."

"Poor baby nothing. He's fourteen. He asked me if you played hard to get?"

"I hope you told him yes."

"What?" Adam scoffed. "No. I told him you jumped me first. I was playing it cool and you made the first move."

"You did not?" Sadly Kim knew that would be exactly what he told him and it was the truth. When it all boiled down to it Kim was the instigator and he never let her forget it. She slid the BLT in front of him, his favourite Saturday lunch food after a game. Despite the absolute chaos of the day it was always nice to sit down for a few minutes by themselves and talk. Some weeks they didn't often get the chance and they were trying hard lately to make time for each other so right now they were making the most of what seemed like a bit of a lull. They couldn't be so lucky to think that the day was not going to get worse before it got better. After all Adam hadn't laid eyes on his daughter and her sexual deviant boyfriend yet.

"Well, no I didn't. We did have a chat about sex though."

"I am not sure if I should be happy about that or slightly concerned?" Kim had always wanted Adam to be the one to talk to their son, despite his ridiculousness at times he always treated her like a queen, as he did all the women around them and Kim would be more than happy if Angus took after him in that regard. "Now I understand the vagina comment." She poked his hand when he didn't look at her. "Well no, actually I don't. Care to explain?"

Adam just grinned and took another bite of his sandwich. "He's not having sex, thank god and does not seem particularly interested in it, thinks it's weird. He can't imagine why you'd want to stick it in anything." He mumbled through his half chewed mouthful. "He is, however learning the hard way about women because he does have this crush on Olive and she's not falling over herself to talk to him. He got no messages from her at all while I had his phone."

"Well I'll cut her. How could someone not like my boy?"

"I know, weird huh?" Adam licked his fingers slowly. "I mean he is the spitting image of me and I am apparently a DILF."

"Who the hell said that?"

"Who knows?" Adam shrugged. He did like the little tinge of green he saw in Kim. "That was one of Gus's drug fuelled confessions earlier on. I liked it." He puffed his chest out.

"You would. Fig….." Adam held up a finger to cut her off.

"Last time you called me that you remember what happened?" Oh, she did remember and it was not an unpleasant memory. _'Ah Adam….'_ He started panting in a scene reminiscent of 'When Harry Met Sally' until Kim warned him to stop. "Anyway, there is only one mother I'd like to fuck." He winked at her and Kim rolled her eyes at him but she liked it, she liked it when he was a little rough around the edges.

"Getting back to Gus. Was it really that bad?"

"Well, there was an actual gaggle of them crying at the ground and a bit of pushing and shoving, maybe even some hair pulling. Two rocked up to the hospital, again they were crying and his phone blew up with messages and one kindly offered to nurse him back to health and being a horny teenage girl obviously desperate to get into his pants the offer wasn't exactly G rated."

Kim actually let her head fall forward and banged it lightly on the table. "Oh God."

"And that may have led to a conversation about blow jobs." Adam knew he should have stopped right there but he didn't. "He asked me if I still like them at my age and…." He took a breath "…and if you had to return the favour."

"For Fuck's sake Adam." Kim rocked her head from side to side and she could actually imagine Adam stumbling through that conversation and saying something wildly inappropriate.

"Now who's freaking out?" He laughed and patted her head.

"What did you tell him?"

Adam leant forward and whispered seductively in her ear. "That I love getting a blow job from you and I adore the taste of you on my lips."

"You did not." Adam could see the faintest hint of a smile.

"Of course I didn't. It's true though." He had to laugh as she banged her head again. "I actually think they separated us on purpose. The old divide and conquer ruse."

Kim flicked his hand away as he licked his finger and stuck it in her ear. "I am not sure Gus deliberately dislocated a knee so he could talk to you about your fondness for blowjobs and so that Polly could get away with breaking her bed trying to have a quickie with her boyfriend. Seems a little extreme don't you think?"

"Wouldn't put it past them. Sneaky little shits."

"Your flair for hyperbole is impressive."

"Says the woman banging her head against a table." He deadpanned the response and when Kim finally lifted her head they both looked at each other and burst out laughing. You wouldn't read about this shit. He beckoned her closer and Kim leant across the table and accepted his sweet kiss. "I love you Darlin'."

When Polly sent Kim a message asking her if it was safe to come home Adam grabbed her phone and sent her a photo of her bed in tiny pieces on the back lawn. He handed the phone back to Kim and disappeared back upstairs just as it rang. "Dad is mad?"

"He's not mad. He's messing with you although the longer you two hide from him the worse he is going to get."

"Has he got a hammer or a gun?"

"No Polly. He does not have a gun." The hammer, well that was a different story because he did take to the broken bed with a hammer when he was trying to get it apart to take downstairs and had little time or patience to even attempt to do it properly. He was acting like an idiot; a completely harmless idiot and Kim just stood back and let him go. "Also he is in your bedroom right now so you better hope you don't have anything lying about that you don't want him to see. A half empty jumbo box of condoms might just tip him over the edge."

"Can you stop him?"

"Sadly no Polly I can't. You know what he's like."

"You have to tell him we weren't doing anything."

"No, you have to convince him. I suggest you come home Polly, sooner rather than later."

Kim had to laugh when they both appeared and Sam offered to head up to help with the bed. Polly wasn't quite so keen and tried to talk him out of it and Kim did ask him if he had any requests for his last supper. That bought a sharp look from Polly as Sam sucked it up and headed upstairs looking very much like a prisoner on death row. He knocked lightly on the doorframe. "Hey Adam. I am here to help."

"So you should." Adam glared at him before standing up, leaning out the door and screaming down the stairs. "Polly Elizabeth Ruzek. Get your skinny little butt up here." Sam tried to back out of the room but Adam blocked his path. "Stay." He growled.

"Care to explain to me why I am here putting together this stupid bloody bed for you?"

"Dad, it was an accident."

"What? Did you take a run up or a flying leap or something? Was this some kind of weird assed WWF move?" He was now looking directly at Sam who seemed to have shrunk about a foot in the last few minutes.

"Not exactly. No."

"Dad, it wasn't Sam's fault." Polly leapt to his defence because he looked like he was about to vaporise.

"Oh so he wasn't participating in this little sexcapade?"

"What's a sexcapade?" Polly sometimes needed just to nod and keep her mouth shut when her Dad went on a rampage. In moments like this Polly needed to be a little less of a Ruzek.

"That is whatever you two were doing in here that managed somehow not just to damage furniture but to smash it into pieces." Adam waved his arms dramatically in the direction of the million pieces of bed lying on the floor in front of him.

"To be fair Dad, I think the hammer did that." Sam was pretty well mortified that Polly actually tried to make a joke. He was finding nothing amusing about this at all.

"And while we are at it, I had a lovely chat to your brother today who informed me that not only does the boyfriend.." he glared at Sam and waved one hand in his general direction."…like feeling you up constantly, you seem to get your jollies from it too." He was now looking directly at Polly who cringed a little. "So, can I please ask, for my own sanity that you try and control yourself around Gus?"

"Well Gus needs to stop sneaking around and spying on us, it's creepy." They both heard Sam gasp. He really wished he could leave and that Polly would stop arguing back with her Dad. This was not going to end well for him.

"Really Polly? You want to discuss this some more?" Polly shook her head. "You can go." He pointed down the stairs.

"I think I will stay."

"No, you can go. The boyfriend and I will be fine up here. Go and help your mother with dinner." Polly just shrugged at Sam who was looking utterly terrified and the fact that her Dad kept calling him 'the boyfriend' was not lost on Polly.

"His name is Sam."

"I know what his fucking name is."

"Adam, you are being a bit of a dick." Adam glared at Polly. He hated being called Adam by his kids, particularly right now when she was being a smart ass and he knew Polly was doing it to get a rise out of him, and it was working. If he wasn't going to use Sam's name Polly was going to push his buttons by calling him Adam. She was her father's daughter after all.

"Polly, please stop." Sam hissed desperately, all he wanted to do was get this over and done with. He did not need a lecture about sex from her father nor did he want to be unwelcome in their house and he certainly did not need Polly making things worse for him. Polly just ignored him and waved her hand flippantly in his direction.

Adam jammed his hands on his hips and looked like he was about to explode. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry." She smirked. Sam was seriously considering just running. "Dad, you are being a bit of a dick." She repeated smarmily. Adam growled something unintelligible and Polly finally got the hint. It was time to stop riling her Dad up and leave while there was still hope for them both. Sam had been freaking out all day about facing up to her father; this wasn't helping him.

"I am sorry Ad…..Mr Ruzek."

"Adam is fine." He grunted back. "Now read this." He shoved the directions into his hands "And help me get this finished because me and Ikea furniture have kinda a hate/hate relationship a bit like you and I at the moment to be honest."

They worked in silence for a while which for Sam was probably worse than being yelled at. While he didn't actually think that Adam would yell at him but it was obvious he wasn't happy. Sam had tried to start a few conversations but a quick glance from Adam shut them down pretty quickly. It wasn't until they had finished that Adam finally said anything other than hand me this piece or that piece and Sam did get alarmed at one stage when the hammer did make an appearance.

"Try not to break this bed." He muttered as he shoved few bits of rubbish in his hands. "Next time it's a blow up mattress on the floor." And as Adam trudged down the stairs Sam could hear him still muttering away. "Although knowing my luck you'd pop the fucking thing."

Polly's eyes darted towards both of them as they came down the stairs. Adam headed into the kitchen for a beer while Polly followed Sam outside as he went to get rid of the rubbish. "What did he say?"

"Nothing."

Polly could not imagine her father being able to keep his mouth shut. It was like a disease with him. "Come on Sam. What did he say?"

"Not much, just to try not to break this bed. You didn't help though did you? Stirring him up. Jesus Polly, way to have my back."

"He's just screwing with us." He couldn't believe Polly actually laughed. That past hour was pure torture, there was nothing remotely amusing about any of it.

"And doing a bloody good job of it too."

Over dinner Adam made one comment about the bed. There was kind of a delicate peace going on but that one comment sent the whole fragile façade crashing down and Adam had no one to blame but himself. "I think you'll find that few crooked screws we put it will actually make the bed squeak like all buggery. Just so you know."

"Ha, that's so we can all hear them having sex." Angus blurted out. "I bet Sam likes blow jobs." Now this was the very definition of awkward and just when they thought the day couldn't get any worse Angus managed to bring it crashing to a new low.

"Angus." Kim just about died on the spot. "Enough." She was mortified, however not as mortified as Polly and Sam currently were. All the air had suddenly been sucked from the room and nobody said a word. Except for Angus, he was on a roll.

Polly spluttered and half a mouth of food shot out across the table. "You should really try harder and learn how to swallow." Angus added unhelpfully, grinning like a Cheshire cat and having the time of his life in his drug fuelled haze. He was seriously as high as a kite again having taken some more pain medication just before dinner.

"Shut the fuck up Angus." Polly snarled.

"Both of you shut up." Kim warned them while Sam just sat there praying that the ground would open up and swallow him.

Adam laughed; he couldn't help himself until the realisation hit him. It was bad enough thinking of his son getting a blowjob, the visual of his daughter participating in one was way too much for him to handle. Especially since the boy who was no doubt the beneficiary of them was sitting right there at the table. Sam was just looking horrified, it had been nerve wracking enough facing her parents when they found out they were having sex, this was way, way worse.

Polly was barely breathing and she was so flushed in the face they did momentarily think she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Adam groaned, yep he wasn't the only one at that table who had the pleasure of good head and that was not a particularly comforting thought.

They also guessed there was no way Angus was ever going to be able to conceal drug use from them because it gave him a case of verbal diarrhoea and if it wasn't such a mortifying conversation it would have been funny.

Polly and Sam couldn't get out of there fast enough and he did mention to Polly as they were leaving that he might just struggle to 'get it up' anymore around her place. Polly groaned and buried her head in his shoulder as he drove to the party they had on. "Your family Polly, Jesus. I don't know whether to laugh or cry."

"My Dad is insane."

"Today, yes he seems a little insane." He agreed.

Polly still couldn't believe what had been said that at the dinner table and she wasn't looking forward to even looking at her Dad tomorrow. "And Angus, if he wasn't already injured I'd break his legs."

"Can we not talk about it again tonight?" Sam wasn't even sure he could show his face in her house again. "And just so you know, we are not having sex tonight."

"Fantastic." Polly groaned. "What about a blow job?" she looked at him cheekily and they both burst out laughing. It had been a weird day and one they hoped wasn't repeated for a very long time.

"Kim Darlin'." Adam crawled into bed well after Kim had. "Today was not awesome." She had to agree and they were pretty sure neither of them came out looking rational at the end of it.

Adam snaked his arms around his wife, slipping one hand underneath her tank top and started kissing her neck. Kim tilted her head back a little to give him better access. "And you think you've earned a sexcapade."

"Nobody can sexcapade like us."

She rolled over and wasn't surprised to find she didn't have to worry about Adam stripping off; he'd come to bed prepared. "I don't think we've actually ever broken furniture though."

"No but there was that vase and photo frame and that time we knocked the picture off the wall." Kim ran her fingernails down his back making him groan a little in anticipation. "I am not sure my mother has ever figured how that got broken."

A/N: Sorry I know that was a little long. I did write this while I was drinking wine watching a giraffe give birth, I may have got carried away. Hope you enjoy it anyway.


	27. Broken Hearts

The ringing of the phone in the middle of the night or early hours of the morning was not a new thing; it was still a rude way to wake up even after twenty years of it. Adam snaked his arm out of bed and felt around for his phone, knocking it off onto the floor. He groaned as he rolled over and picked it up assuming it was going to be work, it wasn't and he didn't like it nor the feeling of dread that washed over him and suddenly he was wide awake.

"Murray."

"I'm sorry Adam. I know it's early." He sat up when he heard the sob catch in the man's throat and glanced at the clock, it was just after 5am. He rested one hand on Kim who was just starting to stir a little. She would half wake up when Adam got a call in the middle of the night and wait for him to tell her that he had to go. "It's Abbey."

"Murray, what happened?" Adam already knew, in his heart he knew as soon as he saw the name on his phone.

"She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"She's dead."

"Murray, what happened?" Kim sat up beside him and Adam just looked at her and shook his head.

He could barely understand what Murray was saying and had to listen closely which was hard because he could see the realisation start to dawn on Kim and that was horrible to witness and apart from holding out his arm for her he could do nothing. "I don't know where she got the pills. We tried to keep them away from her. She was happy lately. I don't understand."

"I'm sorry Murray, so sorry." Kim had already started crying, he didn't need to tell her anything and Adam held her against his chest as she started to shake, his hand cradling her head.

"My baby is gone. He killed her." Abbey's father sobbed into the phone. "Can you tell Polly? I'm sorry Adam. I shouldn't have called so early, I just didn't know what to do."

"Murray, anytime you need to call, just call. Kim and I are here, anytime." He tried to comfort him but he knew, right now the words would be hollow. When he hung up the phone they both just wrapped themselves up in each other's arms and cried. They cried for a beautiful girl who's life had been cruelly destroyed, they cried for her parents who watched the light go out in their girl, they cried for harshness of a world you just couldn't control but most of all they cried for their girl, who was learning that life had incredible highs and crushing lows.

The girl they held in their arms the day she was born and thought, what do we do now? The baby they vowed to protect and love and show the world. They didn't like this shit world she was seeing right now. If Abbey had been happy lately, so had Polly. As much as it took them a while to get used to the fact that Polly and Sam were sleeping together they loved the joy he had bought to Polly's life.

Adam called Murray again before they both talked to Polly. He knew Polly would have questions and he wanted to be able to answer them as honestly and thoroughly as possible. They didn't want Polly to not understand what had happened, she deserved the truth as brutal as it was. They both knew it had to be harsh, however you delivered the news at some point you had to use the words; they had to tell her that her best friend was dead.

"Polly." Kim knocked quietly on her door. She didn't answer and Kim went in anyway and shook Polly awake, they needed to do this before their courage faltered or someone else called her. There was no way they wanted Polly to learn this from someone else. "Polly. Sweetheart." Kim touched her face softly. "Wake up Sweetie."

It took her a few moments to wake up and she didn't like the look on her Mom's face or when she asked her to come into their room. They didn't want to do it in here, this was her room, a place where she had happy memories of Abbey, where they would spend hours giggling and laughing together, talking about boys and their hopes and dreams. Adam and Kim were not taking that away from her, not now. "No." She tried to push her Mom away; instinctively she knew something was wrong.

"Polly, please. Your Dad and I need to talk to you."

Kim led her into their room. Polly kept asking her what was wrong but she didn't want to tell her. She was gutless; Adam needed to do it because he was stronger than her. She sat with Polly on the bed and Adam knelt down beside her and started to speak, Kim by this stage was too much of a mess to talk. "Polly, Abbey's father called us a little while ago."

"Why?"

"Sweetheart, there is no easy well to tell you this but Abbey took some pills last night…"

"Again? Is she okay?" she looked at her mother. "She's okay right Mom?" Kim just stared back at her and Adam leant against Kim a little to let her know he was there and to see if he could draw just a little strength from her.

"No Polly, she's not. Abbey died sweetheart."

"Okay." Adam glanced at Kim who was looking a little worried because Polly just didn't react the way they were expecting. "How long will she be in hospital?"

"Polly, Abbey isn't in hospital Sweetheart. She's dead. Abbey died a few hours ago."

They could both see the precise moment that it finally sunk in and it was heartbreaking to watch it unfold. The sheer look of horror on Polly's face would never leave Adam. "No Dad, No."

"I am so sorry Polly. I really am. Abbey died early this morning. There was nothing anyone could do, she didn't tell anyone this time." He wasn't really sure how the words were even coming out of his mouth at this stage.

"No, no, no." she repeated, shaking her head. "But she was good. We saw her two weeks ago and she was happy."

"She was and sweetie that's such a good memory to hang on to. You had a wonderful weekend and she was so happy to see you. However, those demons she had they were too much for her to overcome. She was too broken."

"What happened then? Why was she happy and now she's not? She was talking about coming back to Chicago soon; I was going to see her. Why would she do that?"

Polly's confusion was understandable. They had had a great weekend together in New York. At the time Adam and Kim worried about letting her go and that it would remind Abbey too much of home but they'd loved being together again. Murray and Rachel really thought that Abbey needed it and it had been like the old Abbey was back. Seeing the two girls run into each other's arms at the airport had filled everyone with hope.

They had decided that they would all go together. Angus and Adam caught a baseball game at Yankee Stadium and they took in a pre-game tour while Kim took the girls shopping but they left Abbey and Polly alone to catch up most of the time. Polly had told them that Abbey kept asking her about Sam and telling her how happy she was that they were together and that she was starting to make friends and go out a little more and even had a few dates herself, although nothing serious had come of any of them. Polly stayed with Abbey at her father's house but Kim and Adam declined and stayed in a hotel in Manhattan because they didn't want to impose and the idea was to let Polly and Abbey spend time together. Adam and Kim enjoyed a date night at the theatre while Angus blissed out in the hotel room ordering room service and watching movies and they all had dinner together with Abbey's Dad and partner, Rachel on the last night in town. The girls were happy and they felt like they had done the right thing.

"I don't know the answer to that. I do know that her Dad said that weekend meant the world to her." Adam had talked to Murray a few times since that weekend. He had relied on Adam a little bit as Abbey's abuse became known and would often reach out to him when things with Abbey were tough. "She loved you, she was so happy to see you and that you were the one person who always stayed by her side. We are really proud of you for that."

"If she'd told me I could have helped her. Why didn't she tell me?"

"I wish I knew, I wish I had some answers for you but I don't." And that's what he hated more than anything, not having answers for Polly. Adam was scared that she was going to push him away again and not being able to tell her what she wanted to hear intensified his angst. He couldn't deal with that again, not now. Kim could understand his fear, it had been such a difficult thing for Adam to deal with and they had talked about it before they woke Polly up with the news.

"Please Dad." It broke Adam's heart listening to his daughter begging him to tell her that it wasn't true. "Please Dad, No."

"Polly." They both cried with her. "We love you so much Polly. I'm sorry Sweetheart. I wish I could tell you it's not true, but I can't."

Surprisingly it wasn't her mother's arms that Polly sought out, it was her father's. She needed strong arms and he was the strongest person she knew. They'd had a rough patch when all this started but he had never once let her down or left her side. He never once stopped telling her he loved her and while at the time it seemed like it meant nothing, it didn't. It meant the world to Polly.

Kim left Adam and Polly alone and slipped out and called Sam.

"Is Polly okay?" Why would his girlfriend's mother be calling him during the week? He'd seen Polly last night; she'd been at his place for dinner and was fine when he dropped her off. Sam always had dinner with the Ruzek's on a Sunday night after he finished work and Polly usually had dinner with his family on a Wednesday. A wave of panic surged through him. Was she hurt? Was she sick?

"She's not great Sam, Abbey died last night."

"What?" She could hear him moving around suddenly. "Is Polly okay? Where is she? What happened? Please tell me Polly's okay?" All his questions ran into each other and Kim barely had a chance to speak. "I am on my way." He finally drew a breath.

"Thanks Sam. I think she would like to see you. She's with her Dad right now."

By the time they had finished the conversation Sam was already in his car and within ten minutes he was barrelling through their back door. It hadn't taken long for him to make himself at home here and surprisingly Kim and Adam liked it. They had always loved that their kids friends felt comfortable coming and going, it felt a bit like a halfway house at times but the sounds of kids laughing and mucking around had always made them happy. Sometimes it got too much but Adam rarely got to enjoy having friends around when he was growing up because of the toxic nature of his parent's marriage so he was determined that his kids would enjoy what he never had the chance to experience.

"What happened?" He was trying to stay calm but it was impossible and didn't even really know how he got here. "Polly talked to her last night. She was fine."

"She took some pills, they didn't find her in time. What do you mean Polly talked to her?" This was news to Kim and she hoped like hell there was nothing in that conversation that caused this or even hinted at it and Polly missed it. She didn't need her blaming herself.

"Last night, Abbey called her and they talked for ages."

"Did Polly say anything was wrong?"

"No, nothing." Sam was hopping from foot to foot and looked anxious; he just wanted to see Polly.

Kim could tell that he really didn't want to be here talking to her and squeezed his hand. "We'll talk about it later. Why don't you go up and see Polly. I think they are in our room still."

Polly didn't even move when Sam knocked on the half open door, she was curled up against her Dad on the bed. The tears had subsided now that the shock was kicking in. Adam motioned for him to come in. "Pol, Sweetheart. Sam's here to see you." He whispered and Polly took one look at him and the tears flooded out of her again.

Adam eased himself out of her grasp and let Sam slide in. He patted him on the shoulder and left them to it. Polly needed all the support she could get right now and she needed to know who was there for her and who was in her corner and as much as he wanted to stay with Polly he felt like he needed to talk to Kim and then they needed to decide how to tell Angus.

It was easy for Sam to ignore how weird it felt to be in her parents room while he had Polly clinging to him, grasping at handfuls of his shirt as he held on while her body shook with sobs. He just kept whispering in her ear, telling her how much he loved her because he didn't know what else to do, he had no idea what to say.

"How's Polly?" Adam went in search of Kim. He could hear her downstairs moving about in the kitchen. Angus would be up soon ready for school but it was barely 7am so he was happy to let him sleep for another half hour.

"Oh, I have no idea. She'd stopped crying for a bit but didn't really say anything. As soon as she saw Sam though it started again. You called him?" Kim couldn't quite figure out if he was annoyed or not?

"I did. I thought he could help her. You know how much she loves him." Adam muttered something that Kim couldn't quite understand as he ferretted around for a clean coffee mug. "I thought Polly would want him here."

"No, it's fine." He waved his hand in the air. "I am just thinking that's all."

"About what?"

"Everything. Everything single god damn thing." He slammed the mug down on the bench and it made Kim jumped. "Everything fucking moment of all this." Again he waved his hands around but he was now more agitated. "I am worried we haven't got it right."

"What do you mean haven't got it right?"

"With Polly." He grabbed the mug again and Kim noticed his hand was shaking as he tried to fill it. "I am worried we haven't prepared her for this. That she thought everything was okay with Abbey when you and I both know this was always on the cards. That weekend Polly came away thinking Abbey was fine, you know what that was all about. She'd already made her decision and she was at peace with it. That weekend was a farewell and we let Pol walk right into it."

Kim took the pot from his hands and finished pouring his coffee. The way he was going it was going to end up all over the bench and himself. "Do you know that Polly talked to Abbey last night according to Sam."

"What? When?"

"While she was there for dinner I assume. He didn't say much but he said they talked for a while and that Polly didn't say anything was wrong."

"Fuck." He had exactly the same thoughts as Kim. Did Polly know something and was she going to blame herself for all this? "We should have talked to her."

"Adam, Baby. I am not sure we could have done much else." Kim rubbed his back. He was hurtling towards the edge and Kim was hoping that she could stop him with a touch, often that was all it took but they'd never been in this situation before.

"No, you don't think talking to Polly and saying _Hey sweetheart I know Abbey seems really great right now but just remember things are still really hard for her and she might have bad days and slip backwards_ , might have helped?"

"Do you think Polly would have listened?"

"I don't know but I wish we'd tried." Adam gripped the edge of the bench and Kim could see the whiteness of his knuckles. "I am scared Darlin'. I'm terrified about what this is going to do to Polly."

He jumped when Kim tried to move him and get in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on until he relented and let go of the bench and held onto her instead. "I am too."

"All I want to do is keep them both here..." He clutched his chest. "...here where I can keep them safe. I don't want them to grow up, I don't want them to ever feel like they can't talk to us, I don't want them to feel that everything is so bad that there is no way out. They're my children Kim; I can't lose them. It would kill me." He was trembling in her arms and Kim hung onto him for dear life.

"Baby, I know."

"What do we do?"

"We love them."

"Murray loved his girl, he loved Abbey and that didn't stop this happening to them. What if it's not enough? What if loving them doesn't save them?" He let go of Kim and slid down the cupboards and sat on the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest he let out an almighty sob. Kim was on her knees in front of him, cradling his head.

"Let it out Baby."

"I can't breathe." He gasped for air. "I can't breathe."

"Adam, Baby look at me." Kim was starting to panic, Adam was spinning, he rarely got like this and it scared the crap out of her. "Adam, please." She begged. When he did lift his head she smothered his face with kisses. "Baby, stay with me, I love you, please Baby. I need you." Slowly he started to breathe again and he grabbed Kim's arms, perhaps a little tighter than he should have but she didn't care as long as he was here with her.

"Sorry." Kim's head shot up when she heard Sam's voice. Adam wiped his face and pushed himself up off the floor. They'd been sitting on the floor for a god knows how long.

"It's okay. Where's Pol?"

"She's coming, she just had a shower and is getting dressed." He had stood and watched her shower because she had still seemed so fragile and he hated every second of watching her standing alone in the shower crying while the water washed away her tears. Polly jumped a little when Sam reached in and put his hand on her arm. She'd zoned out and he could see she was starting to shake a little from the cold. He helped her out and dried her off but left her to get dressed and headed downstairs to wait when she said she just wanted a moment alone. Sam had been reluctant to leave her and Polly had appreciated him being there but she'd begged him for just a few minutes alone.

Sam looked like he wasn't sure whether to come in when he saw her parents or back out and head into the lounge to wait for Polly. "I'll wait in here." He pointed to the lounge.

"Come in. I'm just going to make some breakfast. You want some?" Kim chatted away while Adam splashed some water on his face at the kitchen sink. "How is Polly?"

"Not too bad, I think. She's…..I don't know." He finally admitted. He had no idea how she was doing because she hadn't said much. Sam had just held onto his girlfriend while she cried and then just lay with her in his arms for a while. "She wants to go to New York."

"Not happening." Adam growled.

Quite frankly Sam had no idea what he was doing or what he needed to do. He'd jumped in his car the moment Kim rang and all he wanted to do was see Polly. Now he was here he was at a loss at how to help her. She didn't talk and neither did he, there were a few muttered words; he told her he loved her but that was it. "I don't know what to do." He just kept absorbing the hits.

Kim handed him a cup of coffee and pulled up a chair next to him. Adam was leaning against he bench and he was a million miles away. "I think Polly just needs to know you are here. You don't have to do anything or say anything Sam, you're here." She rubbed his back. "She'll let us know what she wants and when she wants our help."

"What if she doesn't?" The physical pain in his voice shocked both of them. "She did that last time, she pushed everyone away. What if she does that again?" And he'd hated that but that was way before he was in as deep as he was now.

"Then we do what we did last time, we hang tough and keep telling her we love her." Kim tried to reassure him. "We don't let go."

"You said that Polly spoke to Abbey last night? Do you know what happened, what did they talk about?" While Adam spoke a little roughly he wasn't deliberately sounding pissed off he was just trying to piece everything together in his head. He wanted to figure out if they missed anything.

"She did. It was early and they were on the phone for a while. Polly seemed really happy; she said that Abbey was coming back to Chicago soon for a visit. She was pretty excited. Apparently she was going out for dinner with her Dad and his partner, Rachel is it?" Sam was a bit hazy on some of the details. "I know Polly was okay after that. She didn't say anything was wrong and I didn't get the sense that Polly was worried about anything but we didn't really talk about it. Do you think something happened at dinner?"

"Probably not Sam. Its something that happens a lot unfortunately, the person, Abbey in this case seems really happy because they are content. They've made their decision and they are at peace with it. That phone call to Polly was her goodbye. I don't think it was a rash decision on her part." They had seen this all too often and Kim had to agree with Adam's reading of the whole tragic situation.

"That's so fucked up." He paused for a moment because he had never sworn in front of Polly's parents even though he had heard them, particularly Adam curse more than once. They didn't even flinch. "So, you think she had a nice dinner with her folks, said goodnight and then did that? Then took those pills? Last time she sent Polly a message, why didn't she do that this time?"

"Because last time she wanted help, this time she didn't." And as harsh as that sounded it was the truth. Abbey didn't want help, she wanted out.

Adam jumped when his phone rang and took one look at the number and disappeared outside with his coffee. He was still outside when Polly came down and Kim thought it was sweet how Sam was at Polly's side the moment she came downstairs. They'd been lucky that her first love hadn't been a disaster so far.

"Where's Dad?"

"Just on the phone." Kim offered her some of the bagels she was toasting but she was happy with a cup of tea. Kim's mother hen mode had kicked back in, she was going to spend the next few days fussing over everyone and not looking after herself. At some point Adam was going to get annoyed with her and force her to stop, sit and take care of herself too. She'd get shitty with him, he'd tell her that he loved her and they'd move on. It was definitely a pattern and at times like this, almost comforting.

"Can I go to New York, I want to see Abbey." Polly was running her finger around the rim of her mug. She was leaning on Sam just a little but it broke Kim's heart to see how desperately sad her daughter was.

"We'll talk about that when your Dad comes in."

"I know he won't let me go."

"Polly, just wait for Dad okay?"

"You're not going to let me go to New York are you?" She practically yelled at Adam as soon as he walked back into the kitchen, he hadn't even had the chance to speak. This was his greatest fear; he didn't want Polly to hate him again.

"No."

"Why not?" Polly flew out of her chair and ran at Adam, fortunately he was strong enough and quick enough to grab hold of her arms to stop her hitting him. "I want to see Abbey. You can't stop me."

"Polly. Just listen to me." She was still thrashing about in his arms. Kim was beside Adam trying to get her to calm down and Sam was sitting at the table looking a little stunned as he watched it all unfold. "Polly, Abbey's coming home. Her Dad is bringing her home to Chicago. He wants her to be buried here, okay?"

That had been what the phone call was about. Murray was telling Adam about the arrangements they were making and he wanted to check up on Polly. Adam told him not to worry about Polly, that they were taking care of her and that he needed to do whatever he had to do for Abbey. Worrying about Polly though was giving Murray something else to think about. Her mother apparently had gone into a catatonic state and was basically denying it and accused Murray of lying to keep Abbey away from her.

"When?"

"In a couple of days. I am not going to stop you from seeing her if that's what you really want but sweetheart you need to really think about it." She'd stopped fighting against him but she was holding him at arms length. "Once you see Abbey you can never get the image out of your head. Think about how you want to remember Abbey. Perhaps you want to remember New York? That was such a beautiful weekend for you and Abbey and you were both so happy."

Eventually she nodded and Adam leant forward and kissed her forehead. "I love you so much Polly. Anything you want, anything at all just let us know. Me, your Mom or Sam, just tell us, okay?"

Polly turned back to Sam and beckoned him to follow her. He sat motionless for just a moment, looking at Adam until he indicated with his head that Sam could go. Polly had gone outside; she suddenly needed some fresh air and she felt like she was suffocating inside the house. As she stepped out the door she took a big gulp of air and turned when she felt Sam's hand snake around her waist and he caught her when her knees buckled.

Reluctantly Adam trudged upstairs to wake up Angus, Kim wanted to stick close to Polly even though Sam was there for her. "Hey Bud." For the second time today he had to tell his child about the suicide of someone close to them. The unmistakable smell of teenage boy hit him between the eyes as soon as he opened his door. Kim often complained about it, it was foul. He went over a cracked the window to at least get some fresh air and he could understand why Kim was so pedantic about getting Gus to open his window.

He sat on the edge of his bed and waited until he at least looked half awake. "What's up?"

"This morning we got a phone call from Abbey's Dad in New York."

"She's not okay is she?" Adam asked him what made him say that. "The look on your face Dad."

"Angus, Abbey died this morning."

"Did she kill herself?" Adam was a little surprised by Gus' blunt question.

"Yes Gus she did."

"Is Polly okay?" His son's concern for his sister was touching. They often talked about how much their kids actually seemed to like each other; especially now they were older and they really liked that. Kim was close to her sister but Adam had been an only child and he really wanted his kids to be more like their mother growing up than him; he wanted them to like each other, rely on each other and support each other. There had been times when they fought like rats in a sack but they were pretty good now. With everything that had gone on lately they seemed to have grown a little closer.

Gus liked Abbey, he really did and hated what happened to her but he loved his sister more than anything and seeing how upset Polly was had stressed Angus out. "Dad, I don't want Polly to die." He burst into tears and Adam was a little stunned, he'd seemed so indifferent throughout the past few months. He obviously cared but his mind just didn't process it in the same way someone older would and he'd kept a lot of it buried inside and when they had tried to talk to Gus about it he would tell him he was okay.

"Polly is not going to die Gus." Adam held him tightly, it was not often that Gus wanted to be hugged but right now he was clinging to his Dad as he sobbed his heart out. Adam cried with him, seeing his kids so heartbroken was devastating for him. "Polly's okay, she's really upset about Abbey and it's been a little rough that's for sure but she's not going to hurt herself."

"Are you sure?" Was Adam sure? Could you ever be totally sure? Probably not. It was his worst nightmare but he wasn't going to let his mind go there, he couldn't and he certainly didn't want Gus to worry about things like that.

"Gus, we all love Polly, I love how worried you are about your sister and we are going to pick her up and bring her with us. You, me, Mom and Sam, we are not letting Polly fall behind. She's our girl and she'd not going anywhere."

He sat with him for a while and they talked about Abbey and what happened, why she felt like this was the only option and he made Gus promise that if he ever thought that Polly wasn't doing well or said something that worried him he would tell him. He also made sure Gus knew that it was the same for him too; there was nothing he couldn't talk to them about, ever. Now wasn't the time to keep secrets but he did promise not to tell his mother what he said about Polly.

Gus didn't want to upset his Mom and when Adam sensed he was getting more agitated he assured him that he wouldn't say a word and they made a deal. Adam wouldn't say anything to Kim and Gus would talk to him if he felt Polly was on the edge or if he felt he wasn't coping.

Adam decided to let him stay home from school, Gus wanted to go because he couldn't handle the sadness in the house but it was already getting too late but he did spend most of the day in his room. Adam wanted to keep and eye on him too, he didn't let on to Kim the reason why and even when she talked to Angus he said nothing. It was a conversation between the two of them and Gus appreciated that his Dad had kept it to himself and for now Adam was going to keep it that way. He couldn't break his trust because that had the potential of pushing Gus further away and if he was struggling he'd be less likely to come to him if he didn't trust him. He felt like one spark could burn this whole house down.

It had been a long day Polly had wanted to see Abbey's Mom but she wasn't taking any calls and finally her sister called Kim and told her that it might be better to leave it a day or two. Isaac and Chloe came to visit and a few other friends stopped by once the word got out but Polly just drifted through the day in a daze.

She didn't eat much or talk and spent most of the night in her room with Sam. Angus basically took himself to bed early, no doubt playing some computer game for a few hours just to get away from the sombre mood that was invading their house. Everyone just did what they needed to do to get through.

It was late when Sam came down. "Polly's asleep." He found her parents in the lounge. Adam was lying with his head on a cushion in Kim's lap. "I'm going to take off and I'll be back in the morning, is that ok?"

"Why don't you stay Sam?" Everyone was surprised by Adam's offer.

"Umm." He jiggled his keys nervously.

"Sam, I don't care about anything other than what's going on with Polly right now. I think she'd like to wake up and not be alone."

"I can sleep on the floor."

"Yeah right." He scoffed. "I think we all know that's not going to happen but thanks for offering. Call your parents."

"Okay." He turned back towards the stairs, desperate to get back to Polly. He'd stayed with her for as long as he could. Polly had asked him not to go but he told her that he'd be back first thing. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her alone so he promised to stay until she fell asleep and then dozed off himself for a little while before creeping out without waking her. They hadn't spent a whole night together yet though it was something that they both wanted to happen, not like this though. They had talked about it, going away for a weekend although Polly wasn't sure her parents would let her just yet and she hadn't had the courage to ask them.

Suddenly though he came back and sat on the edge of the couch. His hands were clasped tightly together and he bounced his legs nervously. "Just so you know, Polly and I just went through all her messages from Abbey. She was worried that she missed something." Polly had insisted that Sam read them too. He had discussed the possibility with her Dad in the brief few minutes he wasn't with Polly through the day but they knew it would be foolish to read her phone without her permission and that it would likely be pushing her too hard too soon. Sam was surprised when she started showing them to him and asking him to decipher them and reassure her that she hadn't missed anything.

Adam sat up a little straighter. "And?"

"There was nothing. Polly doesn't understand why there was nothing different in anything she said or did. She asked me what I thought about every single message she'd received from Abbey since she'd seen her in New York. There were a lot of messages."

Sam had started to worry when Polly started showing him; she seemed a little obsessed with them. Even the simple ones; like good night. She would ask Sam what he made of that. When he tried to tell her it was nothing she started getting agitated so he just let her go and they painstakingly went through every single one of them.

"She was okay? She was okay with you seeing them?"

"Polly wanted me to read them. I think she just wanted someone to look over them and make sure she didn't miss anything. She's okay, she's devastated but I think she's doing okay. She's trying to make sense of it all and she's not blaming herself."

Adam thanked him. "Night, Sam." He indicated with his head that he could go. "And Sam." Adam waited until he stopped and looked back at them. "Try not to break the furniture."

"I'll do my best." He threw him a little salute.

"Why'd you do that?" Kim asked him as soon as Sam disappeared.

"Because Polly needs him. Look at what she's telling him, she would never let us read those messages."

"So this is because you want to use him to get information out of Polly."

"Yes." Adam told her honestly "Don't you want to know what's going on in her head right now?"

"Of course I do."

"She wasn't sitting down here showing them to us, she hasn't really talked to us all day but she is talking to Sam. I want to know before she falls, not after."

"Perhaps if Sam wasn't here she would talk to us."

Adam was surprised Kim was thinking like that. He was pretty sure that Polly wasn't interested in opening up to them. Sam was the closest person to her and whether they wanted to admit that to each other or not they had become extraordinarily close over the past few months and Sam was the person their daughter relied on more than anyone. "No she wouldn't and you know it. Kim, she's not our baby anymore, the only way we are going to help her right now is to be here and realise that it's not our arms that she needs right now. I never thought I'd say it but Polly needs Sam to stay with her tonight." He stood up and pulled her up off the couch. "Could you imagine not waking up together?" Kim stayed close to him all the way up the stairs and as they climbed into bed. No, she couldn't imagine him not being here.

"I thought you'd gone?" Polly was surprised when Sam came back into her room. He sat on the edge of her bed and rested a hand on her hip and waited until she opened her eyes.

"I did, but I am back."

"My Dad will kill you."

Sam leant forward and whispered in her ear after pressing a soft kiss to her temple. "Your Dad told me to stay. Do you want me too? I want to be here for you."

"Yes." Her hand shot out from under her duvet and grabbed his arm. "Please stay with me." Sam seriously didn't think she had any more tears in her but she did.

"Please don't cry Baby." He hated this; he never thought seeing someone else's tears could be so painful. He stripped off quickly down to his boxers and climbed into bed. His heart was thudding in his chest. He'd waited for this day, when he could wake up next to her; he just wished it wasn't like this. Polly curled into a ball and Sam wrapped himself around her tightly. "Sleep Baby." He whispered. "I love you."

When he woke she was still there, still curled in a ball and tucked under his arm. He felt her shift a little and Sam buried his face into her hair. "I'm glad you are here." Polly rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him. It had been a restless night and Sam had woken every time Polly tossed and turned and he'd talked to her a few times, telling her he loved her and that she just needed to breathe and sometime in the early hours she fell into a deep sleep with Sam holding her tightly.

"So am I."

"I know this is stupid to ask, but how are you?"

She looked up at him and he was perfect. His hair was messy, he looked sleepy but still handsome and he had his hand tangled in her hair as he rubbed his thumb along the side of his face. Tears bubbled along her lower eyelids and spilled down her cheeks and Sam pulled her tight against his chest and let her tears trickle over him. "My heart feels broken."


	28. He's Not Stupid

The patrol officer looked at the ID they had just found on the kid and showed it at his partner. "You think?"

"I hope not." He took another look at the ID and groaned. "I so don't want to make this call."

They been called to an out of control party, along with several other cars and unfortunately for them they had been lumbered with the passed out drunk kid who proceeded to start vomiting the moment they tried to get him up. They'd called an Ambo and helped load him into the back before deciding what to do. They certainly could charge the kid but neither of them wanted to deal with the fallout from that. It seemed like it could be a career-limiting move.

"You're the senior officer, I am not making that call." The rookie patrolman threw his hands up and walked away. He didn't know much but he knew that was a potentially bad for his health to agree to handle it.

Adam looked at the phone, the last thing he needed was to be called into work and lately his phone ringing at all hours set his teeth on edge. "Ruzek."

"Detective Ruzek. It's Ryan Matthews from the 31st." He frowned a little, he knew Ryan from his time at the 21st and they occasionally bumped each other at a crime scene and had shared the odd beer at a social function but they were hardly what you would call friends, so he knew this wasn't a friendly chat. He also would have been surprised if Halstead had called him in at the moment, unless it was a big case because of the drama he had going on at home. He knew Adam didn't want to be too far away from his family right now and everyone else in Intelligence was willing to pull a bit of extra weight until things evened out.

"Hey Ryan. You need me to come in?"

"Ah, nah man we just picked up your boy, Angus." Adam's stomach fell through the floor.

"Tell me he's ok?"

"He's ok but we've sent him to Med. He's drunk man, like passed out vomiting drunk."

"Fuck." This they did not need. He had a barely functioning daughter and a wife who was out of her mind with worry. Angus had just picked the worst possible time to fuck up royally.

Polly had gone over to see Abbey's mom the day after the Abbey died and it hadn't gone well. Adam and Sam had taken her; she had nagged them constantly to let her go. Sam hadn't really left her side since the previous day and it was sweet to see how caring he was. He kept asking Kim and Adam what he should be doing to help Polly, like they had any idea. They were all on this rollercoaster together and nobody knew what was around the bend, they just strapped themselves in and tried to survive the ride.

One thing they did wish was that they'd never taken Polly over to Abbey's house but she was desperate to go. Janice was out of her mind with grief. "It's your fault." She screamed at Polly. "This is all your fault. Why didn't you know? Why didn't you stop her?"

Adam had gone outside to talk to Abbey's uncle, Janice was still a little pissed off with him and through it all they had kept their distance from each other and Adam had mainly dealt with Murray. Even the few times Kim reached out to her she liked to remind her how much Adam had been mean to her, she needed to take her anger out on someone, Simon wasn't within her reach anymore so Adam and her ex-husband copped the lot. Joe wanted to know what was happening with Simon, not that Adam could tell him much more. He didn't know whether he had been told about Abbey's Suicide and had no interest in finding out. He did know that he was not having the easiest to times in prison but decided to keep that to himself. Sometimes it was better that the public just didn't know what really went on inside the fence. Needless to say, Simon was certainly paying for his crime. Gen Pop was not the place for guys who raped teenage girls and funnily enough Gen Pop was where he ended up.

The yelling from inside bought them both running and he found Sam holding Janice back as she was screaming at Polly who was just about catatonic. Polly was holding her face where Janice had slapped her and that had sent Sam off the deep end. "Don't you dare touch Polly." He'd yelled as he grabbed the grieving woman and pulled her away from his girlfriend. "Don't you hurt her."

Joe pulled Janice away from Sam while Adam's focus was on Polly. "What the hell happened?" He looked from Polly back to Sam and Janice.

"She hit Polly." Sam was beside himself and Adam was a little stunned by his reaction. Polly was motionless, her hand was still on her face but she was starting to shake in Adam's arms. He reached out and tried to grab Sam's arm but he shrugged off Adam's hand angrily. "No." He snapped when Adam asked him to step away. Adam needed to be a cop for a moment and try to get the situation back under control and the one person he needed to control first was Sam and he was having none of it. Sam didn't care what Janice was dealing with, she hit Polly and nobody laid on hand on his girlfriend.

"Sam" he grabbed his arm again and Sam actually looked at him and Adam could see the anger and fear in his eyes, he was seriously struggling to control himself. "Get out now and take Polly with you." It was his cop voice that finally got through to him and he literally shoved Polly into his arms and pushed them both towards the door. Sam sat her down on the front porch and crouched in front of her, touching her face lightly. "Polly, Baby. Are you hurt?" She shook her head and looked at Sam and wondered where she was and then it hit her like a tonne of bricks. Sam caught her as she dissolved into a flood of tears.

"What the hell?" Adam turned back to face Janice as brother was still holding her back.

"She knew." Janice was now screaming at Adam. "She had to know. Was she too busy fucking around with her boyfriend to care anymore? She knew. Abbey told her. This is her fault; this is on your head. You pushed and pushed and you ruined her life."

"Janice, Polly didn't know. Abbey didn't tell anyone this time." This was blowing up in their faces and he doubted that Polly was strong enough to deal with it. She didn't need the guilt trip, she was blaming herself today as it was and nothing they said seemed to be getting through to her. Now to have Janice laying this all at her feet was the last thing anyone needed.

"Why not?"

"Because she didn't want anyone to save her." Despite trying to stay calm he struggled. "It's not Polly's fault. You want to blame someone blame the man who repeatedly raped your daughter, the man you bought into her house." He probably shouldn't have said what he did but sometimes the truth was just ugly.

"I don't want her here, I don't want you here. I hate you, I hate your daughter."

"Okay. Okay." Adam was doing his best to maintain some control. "We'll go. But Janice, Polly loved Abbey and you know she would have done anything for her, anything at all. We all would have. We are all sorry about Abbey and we'll miss her so much, she was part of our family too. She was a beautiful girl." There was nothing else he could say. Janice would calm down eventually, grief made you say and do terrible things to people, particularly those closest to you. That wasn't his biggest concern though; his biggest worry was the girl he'd bought into the world. He didn't know how much more she could take. This was a brutal world she was seeing and it was breaking his heart.

They were still sitting on the front porch when Adam came out. He helped get Polly up. "I didn't know Dad, I didn't know." She just kept repeating desperately.

"We know Polly, we know. You would have done anything for Abbey."

"I want to show Janice the messages." She tried to push her Dad away and turn back to the house.

Both Adam and Sam held onto her. "No Sweet Pea, we need to leave Janice alone for a while."

"I want her to know that I didn't know." It wasn't a pleasant trip home. Polly was devastated and Sam was struggling to cope. Adam needed to get him away from her for a few minutes and make him catch his breath. He seemed so angry and obviously seeing Polly so upset was fuelling his anger.

Kim took Polly inside when they got home and Adam waved her away when she tried to ask what was going on. "Take Polly inside, I'll be in in a minute."

Sam was pacing back and forth with his hands clenched tightly on top of his head. "She hit Polly."

"I know she did, and that's not right but man grief makes you do strange things. You saw Polly yesterday going wild. They are just trying to deal with it and they both lashed out." He rested his hands on Sam's chest, trying to break his tension.

"I didn't like it, no one touches Polly."

"Sam, buddy it's okay. I love that you want to protect her and I am glad you were there but don't make it a bigger deal than it is. Okay?" The kid would have no idea how happy it made Adam to see him protecting his daughter. He couldn't ask for more in a boyfriend, he loved that Sam seemed to be as fiercely protective of Polly as he was.

"It is a big deal, she hurt Polly. I don't like seeing her hurt. I hate this, I hate all this, its fucked." He shook his hands roughly trying to stop himself from letting out the tears he was desperately trying to hide. He didn't want to cry in front of her father, he had to be stronger than that.

"I hate it too, trust me. And if this were any other situation I would be right behind you in defending Polly but let's just take a breath and calm down a little. I need you to calm down." Adam hugged the poor kid; something he thought a few short months ago was never going to happen. "Just keep looking out for her okay? I trust you to look after her. You are doing great Kid." He wasn't sure if Sam would ever understand what it meant to be called 'Kid' by Adam and he doubted he would ever explain it to him. Al called him Kid, and to this day it meant the world to Adam.

Once Adam was sure that he had calmed down he let him go back inside and all he wanted to do was see Polly. Kim jumped up and let him take her place on the couch and when Polly saw him she burst into tears again and buried her head into his chest as he wrapped her up in his arms. "I love you so much Polly." He whispered over and over again. "Don't push me away." He begged. He was just as worried as Adam was that they were going to be on the outer again.

"I won't. You have to stay here." It was breaking Kim and Adam's heart listening to them. "You can't leave me. I don't want you to go." They guessed he was spending another night. Last time she pushed everyone away and this time she was clinging to Sam and wasn't letting him go.

Adam had never told Kim about Angus's concern that Polly was going to hurt herself because out of all this he thought that would push Kim over the edge and he'd made the decision to keep his word to his son. Now part of him wished he had because deep down he knew this was behind whatever led Angus into this mess he'd got himself into. He was so not looking forward to going upstairs to tell her he was going to Med to pick up their blind drunk fourteen-year-old son.

"Thanks Ryan, anything else I should know. No charges?"

"Nah, he's good. We just got him out of there."

"I owe you one." He hung up and threw his phone on the table in frustration.

Adam contemplated not telling Kim but that was never going to work and he would never survive her reaction if he just left and came home with a drunk son so he bit the bullet and sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "Hey Darlin'."

"Do you have to go to work?" Kim opened her eyes and saw him with this jacket in his hand. Lately she found it harder to say goodbye to him late at night or early in the morning, she had come to rely on him being around maybe a little too much. If Polly had relied on Sam the last few days, Adam and Kim had clung to each other as well.

"No. I need to go to Med. Ryan Matthews just called. Angus seems to have got himself a little drunk."

"What? Adam, what?" she sat bolt upright.

"Angus is drunk, like really drunk apparently and Matthews organised an Ambo to take him to Med. I'm going to go."

Kim started climbing out of bed. "I'm coming with you."

He tried to hold her back but it was pointless. "I'll go and call you as soon as I see him." Kim was having none of it though. "Someone needs to stay here in case Polly needs us."

"Sam's here, he'll look after her."

Eventually Adam relented because Kim was determined to come, he couldn't keep her away from Angus and he could go and send her a million photos but until she saw him with her own eyes she would never rest. He crept into Polly's room, trying not to freak out at the sight of her in bed with her boyfriend and quietly woke Sam, who looked terrified to see Adam hovering over him. "Kim and I have to go pick up Angus, he's drunk. Look after Pol and call me if you need us."

It was the third night Sam had stayed; it wasn't always the plan. He was going to only stay that first night, Adam had made that decision on the spot and then the blow up with Janice happened and Polly refused to let go of him. It was decided that he could stay the weekend to make sure Polly was back on her feet a little more. Adam wasn't thrilled with the arrangement and Sam's parents had some concerns but they all decided what was best for Polly trumped all else at this stage. As long as he realised that this wasn't an open invitation to basically move in to his daughter's bedroom permanently and he couldn't come and go as he pleased.

"I am going to have his fucking guts for garters." Adam roared as they drove to the hospital. Kim was a sobbing mess beside him and despite his best attempts to comfort her he couldn't. Nothing he could do or say made one iota of difference and that pissed him off even more. "What the fuck was he thinking?"

"Adam."

"What? What Kim?" he knew she shouldn't be taking it out on her but he needed to vent now otherwise some poor helpless nurse or doctor was about to cop both of Adam Ruzek's barrels. "Our fourteen year old son is in hospital with probable alcohol poisoning. Right now, at this very point in time we don't need this. Did we run over a fucking black cat or something?"

"I don't know."

"I mean. Come on. Angus knows better than this. With all this shit with Polly I can't deal with this as well." While Adam was busy worrying about everyone else Kim was starting to see signs that Adam was close to falling off the edge. He'd taken such a heavy burden on his shoulders throughout the whole saga. Lately, the last few days he'd been on the phone constantly to Abbey's father who wasn't coping and reached out to Adam for help. While he was more than happy to assist it was starting to take its toll. Angus doing this was not ideal, not by a long shot and may finally be the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Maybe we've neglected him?"

"No, you are not blaming this on us. We didn't pour it down his throat. Angus knows precisely how we feel about underage drinking, he's god damn lucky he's not in lock up." Kim did note that Adam was spitting out his full name, usually he always called him Gus except when he was really angry with him and right now Adam was furious.

They knew they shouldn't be fighting, but nobody really understood the stress they were under and they tried to shoulder the burden alone and show their children that they were strong for them and it was taking it's toll. "Because it's so much better to be in hospital." Kim barked back at him.

"At least they can fix him so I can kill him."

When Kim burst into tears again he regretted it instantly. "No Adam, please don't say that."

"Sorry." He reached out and pulled her close, tucking her head onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry Baby. I am so disappointed in him though and I hate being disappointed."

Adam seemed a bit surprised when Kim reached for his hand as they headed into the hospital. He was so tense and it took a moment for him to relax but eventually Kim felt his fingers go slack as they curled around hers. "Angus Ruzek." The poor woman at the admit desk copped his foul mood smack in the face.

"And you are?" She checked her screen.

"His parents." He hissed. When she told them that she'd run out of visitor passes and would need to get some more it pissed Adam off even more so he grabbed his badge and literally shoved it in her face "There's my god damn visitors badge."

Kim burst into tears when she saw him. He had nasal prongs on to give him oxygen and he was hooked up to an IV. It was obvious he'd been vomiting and he wasn't awake although they assured him he was just 'sleeping' and not in any immediate danger. He was just going to have the mother of all hangovers. The IV would rehydrate him, which would help with the hangover. Adam did mumble something about taking it out and letting him suffer but Kim's sharp look made him shut his mouth.

"How long?"

"A couple of hours and you can take him home. He needs to be much more alert and certainly needs to stop vomiting before he can go. The biggest risk to him right now is aspirating on his vomit, hence he needs to stay on his side." They had shoved a huge wedge behind his back to stop him rolling over.

"What was his BAC?" Adam was starting to feel a little saner now that he'd laid eyes on him. Kim was basically just staring at him, brushing the hair back from his forehead and whispering to him that she was there. She wasn't even listening to the Doctor talking to Adam.

"It seemed to peak at 0.19."

"Holy fuck. What'd he drink?"

"We are not sure, he came in alone. I understand from a party the cops were called to, they sent him in."

"Yeah, they called me. We are both CPD too." Adam shoved his hands in his pockets as he noticed them starting to shake a little now that the shock was replacing the anger. "Anything long term we need to worry about?"

"Highly unlikely but I am tipping it might be the last time he does this for a while."

"Well considering he'll be locked in the house for months, maybe years you can bet on that." Angus had basically blown his chance at being allowed to go to parties for the foreseeable future. Or have a life for that matter.

He stood by his bed for a bit, rubbing his leg but not speaking. He was watching Kim who was not taking her eyes off her son and something she'd said in the car came back to him. Had they neglected him? Had they not paid enough attention to what was going on with Angus? Were they too worried about Polly and Abbey to see the warning signs that Angus wasn't coping? It killed him to think that they had.

Adam had tried hard to still be there for him. They went on their runs, they went to his games together when he still wasn't playing and now he was back playing Adam still went. Adam had taken him to the batting cage, go carting or out shopping for new gear. He made sure he was around when he needed to go to the Physio. They took him to New York and Adam had spent a lot of time with him that weekend, they'd had a great time at the Baseball, which was a dream come true for Gus to see a game at Yankee Stadium. They'd had their boy's weekend, which sure it didn't start off great but they'd had a good time. He honestly didn't know what else he could have done.

"It's not your fault." Kim knew what Adam was thinking.

"No, you sure?"

"Adam, what more could you have done?"

'I don't know Kim." He looked at his wife sadly. "God Kim, I can't do this."

The only thing that was going to get Kim to leave her son's side was her husband's tears and his sudden movement towards the door. He tried to get past her but she refused to let him go. "Adam. Don't push me away."

"He's got to be okay." He choked on a sob.

"He will be. Adam, stay please. I need you to stay with me and stay for Angus, he needs you."

"I can't see him like this." He pointed to the bed. "It reminds me…." He couldn't say the words. He couldn't say it reminded him of Abbey and the night he spent sitting beside her bed.

He didn't need to say it though because Kim knew. "It's not the same Baby, it's not. Angus is going to be fine."

"You don't know that. What if this is the start?"

"How is he any different from you? How many times did you stuff up and get in trouble?"

"A few."

"Exactly. We always knew that Angus was too much like you. This is not the start, we'll make sure of it." He was still so rigid and nothing Kim could do got him to relax even a little. "Let's not get carried away. I think he's a smart boy and hopefully this has taught him a lesson."

"I hope you are right."

Kim was perched on Adam's knee, she had convinced him to stay. She was leaning on the bed when Angus finally started to stir. "Mom." He groaned weakly. Adam sat back and watched. He had calmed down and basically sat with his head buried in Kim's back while she leant forward on the bed and watched her son breathe.

"Angus, you scared us."

"Sorry."

"Where's Dad?"

"He's right here."

"I'm sorry Dad." He started to cry and that made him gag and they just got out of the way as he vomited all over the bed and floor and chair they had just been sitting in. He looked so sad and pathetic in the bed, he was shivering and vomiting and both Kim and Adam were beside themselves trying to help him.

Adam may have been pissed off with him but he was more frightened right now than anything. There was no way he was going to get off scot free that's for sure but right now it didn't really matter, Angus was desperately unwell and as a parent it was horrible to watch.

The Doctor came in and ordered up some anti-emetics and another banana bag to help with the dehydration from the vomiting and they moved him up to the ward to stay the rest of the night. He'd had another BAC level taken and it was coming down slowly but he was still pretty well out of it. It would be unlikely that he'd be going home anytime in the next few hours. Kim refused to leave so Adam headed home to check on Polly and have a shower and change, he'd copped a bit of one of Gus' projectile spews and although he'd changed into a scrubs shirt the hospital had rustled up he really needed a shower. Hopefully by the time he got back Angus would be ready to come home.

There wasn't much else either of them could do while Angus slept it off, except worry. The anti-emetics would also probably make him sleepy hence why they waited so long to give them to him. They wanted to alcohol level to start coming down a bit before giving him anything that might hinder him waking up if he needed to vomit.

Both Sam and Polly woke up when they heard Adam come home. "What time is it?" She asked him sleepily.

"It's early." He reached for his phone and checked the time. It was a little after five am. "Your folks had to go pick up Gus, he's drunk apparently." Polly couldn't go back to sleep though until she knew what was going on and she found her Dad downstairs leaning with both hands on the kitchen sink looking out the window at the dark early morning sky.

"Dad, How's Gus?" Adam jumped a little when Polly spoke.

"Hey Pol. What are you doing up?"

"I heard you come in. Sam said Gus was drunk."

"Yep, he's in Med sleeping it off."

"Is he okay?" He could hear the panic in her voice. It was the little things that set her off lately.

"Yes Polly, he's going to be fine. A hangover the size of Canada but he'll be okay. Please don't worry, go back to bed." He never, in a million years thought he'd be telling his daughter to go back to bed when there was currently a boy in there.

"Okay." It was obvious that Adam wasn't up for talking but Polly had to ask before she left. "Is it because of me?"

"No, what makes you say that?"

"He told me yesterday that he was worried about me, that I am too sad."

Just what he didn't need right now was more of his daughter's tears. He had his own, he'd had Kim's and Angus's already tonight. "Polly, this is not your fault. Angus was just being stupid."

"He's not stupid Dad, he's scared."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I am just a little disappointed with him right now. There was a better way to handle this. You can imagine what it's doing to your Mom."

"Dad I am sad, but it's not like that. It's not like Abbey." Sam had talked to her about it; he'd flat out asked her if she felt like hurting herself. It had shocked her and she'd been angry with him but when he explained that he was terrified of losing her and that he knew her parents were too and after her conversation with Angus Polly let go of her anger and promised him that she wasn't going to hurt herself. "I've never felt like that."

Angus had nervously approached Polly when Sam had gone home to get a change of clothes. She wanted a few minutes alone and she had been pissed off with him for pushing her too hard about her current lack of appetite so she was happy that he'd left for a little while as long as he promised to come back. "What's up Gus?" Polly tried not to sound exasperated. She barely had any time to herself lately.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself." He blurted out, tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes involuntarily.

"What are you talking about Gus?"

"Like Abbey. You're sad and I am worried about you." Polly was a little stunned. It had been confronting when Sam asked her about it and she had been seriously annoyed with him but she didn't expect it from her brother either.

"Hey." She made him look at her. "Gus, I'm going to be here annoying you for a long time yet. Please don't worry."

"I do worry." He was as stiff as a board when Polly tried to hug him. "You're my sister and I feel bad about what happened to Abbey but I feel worse because I was glad it wasn't you. That's horrible isn't it?"

"No, it's not Gus."

"I don't want you to be sad anymore Polly. I'm scared you'll get too sad."

"Gus, don't. I don't feel like that at all." Eventually he relaxed and they sat together quietly, just holding each other's hands.

"Can you not tell Mom and Dad?"

"Tell them what?"

"About this. I don't want them to worry." He knew if Polly told his Dad, after they'd already talked about it his Dad would start to worry even more and then he'd tell his Mom and he didn't want to upset her. She was upset enough as it was. He'd tried to keep it away from Polly too but he just needed to know she was going to be okay. It got too much for him, he was drowning in his fears and that probably pushed him over the edge.

Adam wiped his face with both his hands. He was glad it had been a long time since he realised that he wasn't too tough to cry and show those closest to you that it was okay to show your emotions. "You don't know how much I needed to hear you say that." Polly came and hugged him for a few minutes but they didn't talk. She didn't need to say anything else, she'd said it all.


	29. Our Kids Are A Mess

"What are you doing?" Sam opened one eye and gave Polly a sleepy smile. He'd felt her come back to bed a little while ago and he'd lifted his arm and draped it over her hip, kissed her shoulder and went back to sleep. How quickly they had fallen into a groove and got comfortable sharing a bed.

"Waking you up."

"Why?" He grabbed hold of her hips and held her steady as she wiggled on top of him. "Easy Tiger, don't tease me. It's not fair." Despite being allowed to stay with her for the past couple of nights Sam was too scared to actually do anything. The first night he had barely slept, it wasn't what he expected and Polly was pretty restless. The past two nights had been much more settled and he really loved being here. Even with his past girlfriend he had never spent the whole night with her, his parents didn't like her and they were happy when Sam broke it off. They would have never let her stay overnight.

The very fact of he was woken up early that morning by Adam standing over them still freaked him out and it had taken him ages to fall back to sleep. That man had some serious stealthy moves and guns, he never forgot about the guns probably because Adam liked to remind him constantly.

"No one is home."

"Where is everyone?"

"Dad's just left, he was going back to the hospital." Polly knew he was just going to have a shower and get changed, probably make a coffee and head back to the hospital.

"Hospital, Holy fuck Polly what happened? I thought they were just going to pick Gus up?"

"Way too wasted apparently, he's been in hospital all night heaving his guts up. Dad is pissed and Mom is freaking out no doubt." Polly was kissing his neck and as she leant forward she repositioned herself so that Sam had no option but to respond. His body wasn't listening to his head.

"So your Dad is pissed and you want to do this." His resolve was weakening with every touch.

"Yes, I want to do this. I want to forget about everything else for a little while. I know you can make me do that; it's what you are good at. Just for a little bit Sam, please?" Polly sat up suddenly and pulled her tank top off, tossing it aside and that was the end of his resistance. It had been futile and feeble at best. He was a male after all, they were home alone, in bed and barely wearing anything and as soon as his very hot girlfriend started making a move on him it was game over. Who could resist?

By the time Adam and Kim finally bought Angus home they were both up and dressed like they hadn't just spent the past hour or so having sex. It had made Polly feel good and forget about things for a while which was exactly what she wanted and Sam would do anything to make her happy right now. Adam and Kim both noticed their wet hair and had a fair idea what had gone on here but they had bigger things to worry about and Polly looked a tiny bit happier so there was that.

Adam was back to his 'hear no evil, see no evil' approach after the bed breaking incident. Sam had avoided them for a good two weeks after that, the dinner conversation scared him and he decided to lay low for a while. The day he come back Adam walked in from work, un-holstered his gun and put in the in the safe watching Sam the whole time. "I see the boyfriend has showed his face again." He called out to Kim as he headed upstairs. By the time dinner came round Kim had told him to pull his head in, Polly had cracked it with him and eventually things returned to normal and 'the boyfriend' disappeared and Sam came back.

Kim took Angus up to his room and he looked like death warmed up and struggled to put one foot after another. The vomiting had stopped but he was pretty wrecked and even the thought of food made him gag. Adam did want to make him sit up all day and 'tough it out' but had been swiftly overruled, it was a pity he didn't get the same leeway when he had a hangover and if he didn't think it would end very badly for him he would have pointed that out.

"So do I need to talk to you about underage binge drinking?" He looked at them sitting on the couch watching a movie and they both shook their heads. To date neither of them had ever come home smelling or looking like they'd been drinking and Sam was quite often driving and he never drank when he was driving. He was no angel, they knew that but he had his head screwed on right and when he did drink it was never a lot.

"Good." Adam disappeared upstairs. He needed a few hours sleep and to not deal with this shit for a bit. Sometimes you just need to close the door on things for an hour or two and reset yourself. He heard Kim come in briefly and grab a shower and then she slipped back out quickly and left him alone. She could do with a sleep but while Adam was sleeping she needed to stay up in case Gus needed one of them.

Kim gave him a couple of hours before she went back in with a coffee. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited until he opened his eyes. "Lie down with me." He patted the bed.

"I can't. I just wanted to see if you were okay?"

"I am. How's Gus?" Kim was glad that Adam seemed less pissed off with him now although how he faired later was yet to be seen.

"Sleeping, he hasn't moved."

"Where's the other two?"

"Sam took her out for a bit. I think they are going to have lunch." Kim literally pushed them out the door. "She looked a little better this morning."

"That was probably the shower sex." Adam mumbled. He wasn't blind or stupid and thinking back he would have done exactly the same thing if he were a teenager. Hell he wasn't a teenager anymore and still loved getting Kim up against a wall in the shower on a regular basis. He'd be more worried that Sam was an idiot if he didn't at least try.

Kim slipped her hand under his shirt and stroked his chest. "Well it always makes me feel better."

"Are you hitting on me?"

"You wish." Kim chuckled and bent down kissed him softly, resting her forehead on his. "I love you so much Adam. I'm hate that our kids are a mess."

"Yeah so do I, but I am glad they are our mess."

Sam's parents had bought over something for them for lunch considering the night they'd had and the rollercoaster of the last few days. Kim appreciated it because cooking was the last thing she felt like doing. She'd had a few hours sleep at the hospital but it wasn't nearly enough so unless it was take out nobody was eating anything until Sam's parents Jolene and Phil turned up with Lasagne. Sam and Polly had stopped by his house on their way out for lunch and filled them in on last nights' dramas so his Mom wanted to do something to help. Adam tried to get her to have a sleep but she refused and Adam wasn't surprised, she wanted to be there when Gus needed her.

"You know Sam wasn't always this easy." Phil accepted Adam's offer for a beer outside. Polly and Sam were still out and Gus hadn't surfaced yet. They had got on well, Sam's parents had invited Kim and Adam for dinner once everyone realised that the two kids were getting pretty serious. Polly had been reluctant just because she was worried her Dad was such a loose cannon and she had no idea what he would do or say and she'd spent most of the night mortified by her Dad, even though Sam told her he wasn't that bad and that his parents thought he was hilarious and that her Mom was really sweet.

"No?"

"He was so close to running off the rails it wasn't funny."

"Not sure I want to know."

"I don't think Sam was the problem though. His girlfriend at the time was a little wild and the more we tried to keep him away from her the more he dug his heels in. I think once he realised the family were psycho and they got raided and had more than a few drug charges coming down he finally cut her loose."

"At least he was smart enough not to get involved."

Phil took a mouthful of beer. "And then he starts on about this new girl. His mate told us that no-one would have a bar of her because her father was a cop and we thought 'here we go again' and we were nervous, I can tell you."

Adam threw his head back and laughed. "I always wondered why she didn't have boys beating down our door?"

"I thought she'd be a rebel." Phil laughed along with Adam. "Polly's a sweet girl, we really like having her around. She's been good for Sam."

"Your kids got some balls though. He hasn't backed down one bit with all the shit that's gone on." Adam hadn't made things a walk in the park for Sam, he wasn't mean or nasty but he felt he at least had to keep him on his toes. "He's a good kid, when he's not breaking furniture." Phil had heard that story from his son when they'd wondered why suddenly him and Polly started spending more time at their place. That was when Sam was too scared to show his face around here.

"I don't think I need to tell you he's done it tough but we are pretty proud of him for not dumping and running on Polly because of everything that's happened. He had plenty of other girls throwing themselves at him and he just wasn't interested." Adam could hear the pride in his father's voice. "He's pretty happy with Polly and he loves being here."

"The first we heard of Sam was right when things first turned to shit with Abbey, Polly was hysterical and started ranting about this boy and talking about sex and then suddenly she's asking to go on a date with him. I'm thinking what the hell, there was no way that was happening but she just looked some damn happy when she talked about him so I could hardly stop her. We feel like we've got lucky."

"Same." Phil had to agree, they loved Polly and really enjoyed having her around. Her laugh often filled their house and now that their older kids weren't around much it had filled a bit of a hole. "How's Gus?"

"Nursing the mother of all hangovers." Adam snorted a little bit. "He's going to love going to school tomorrow. There is no way he's over this by then."

They hadn't had the conversation with Angus yet, although he was home was still pretty out of it. Kim was fussing over him but Adam thought he should be left alone to wallow in his own misery. As long as he wasn't vomiting he was pretty safe but again that had fallen on deaf ears. Mother Hen was in her element.

"I think Sam should go home tonight." Adam and Phil agreed on that. They weren't sure that Polly and Sam would but at some point they needed to get back to reality and that reality was that these were still kids, neither of them were quite 18 although Sam was only a few weeks away from his birthday and Polly had a couple of months to go. They were also sending Polly back to school tomorrow, exams were coming and they were both in their last few weeks of High school. She'd missed enough school in the last few months although she had worked hard lately to make sure she had caught up. Life had to go on, the longer they waited the harder it would get. "I never thought I would be happy or ready to let him sleepover but Polly just wasn't functioning on any level and Sam was the only person she coped with and would listen to and all I cared about was doing whatever I needed to do to help her."

"We are happy to let Sam help, whatever Polly needs."

As expected Polly cried when Sam went home. He promised to come back and have breakfast with her and take her to school in the morning.

"You're father wants to talk to you." Kim stuck her head in on Angus once they dealt with Polly's epic meltdown over them sending Sam home. She wasn't angry with them; she just didn't want to let Sam go. Although they now had some big decisions to make with regards to letting him stay occasionally, now that the cat was out of the bag so to speak.

"Can he come up here?"

"What do you think?" He'd slept all afternoon and it was now time to face the music.

Angus hauled himself downstairs, not at a pace that impressed Adam so by the time he dropped himself onto the couch in front of his parents in a scene reminiscent of all those months ago when Polly first started hitting a wall and Adam was close to exploding.

"I don't think I need to tell you how disappointed we are right now but lucky for you your mother has the some amazing ability to keep me from losing my shit." Adam struggled to actually keep his voice level. "And I promised her that would give you a chance to explain." He held his hands out wide. "So?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yep, got that." Adam nodded curtly. "Not good enough Angus." Kim instantly noticed the use of his full name again. Adam could see his teenage self staring back at him from the couch and it was that same wilful stubbornness that drove his own parents to distraction. No wonder his parents just about pulled their hair out dealing with him.

"I didn't think I'd had that much."

"Not that much?" Adam almost laughed. "Your Blood Alcohol Level was 0.19, that's insane Angus, not to mention dangerous and incredibly stupid."

"How much did you drink that day you couldn't go to work?"

"Excuse me?" Kim cringed a little knowing full well that Angus had just pressed Adam's final button. She had no idea how she was going to keep him in control now. "What the hell does that have to do with anything? I am an adult; you are fourteen years old. Fourteen! Apart from the fact it is illegal for you to be drinking do you think we liked sitting there watching you vomiting and barely conscious?" His voice hitched in his throat and Kim thought he was about to lose it completely. "Do you think I enjoyed getting a phone call from work telling me that you had been at an out of control party and were on your way to hospital? Do you think I liked telling your mother..." he pointed at Kim who had been silent so far, "...that you were blind drunk and in hospital with alcohol poisoning? How do you think we felt walking into that hospital room seeing you barely conscious? Do you think any of this has been fun for us?"

"No."

"Do you think we needed this right now?" Angus shook his head. "So, explain to me why."

"It's just been really hard."

Adam softened just a little. "Angus, I know this has been tough lately but come on Bud, this isn't you."

With every tick of the clock Adam felt his blood pressure rise as his son remained defiantly silent. "I'm waiting Angus." He seethed.

"I was scared, okay? I'm scared." He eventually spat it out. "Everything is shit, Polly is going to end up like Abbey." He had tears streaming down his face. "Someone challenged me to do some shots. I thought it would make people like me."

"What?" Kim felt like she'd been hit between the eyes. "What do you mean? What about Polly?" She looked from her son to her husband and got a feeling that Adam knew exactly what Angus was talking about. She leapt up from her seat and sat next to him, Adam was surprised she had lasted this long. She was in full on mother mode and if anyone was going to end up in the dog house it was likely to be Adam, especially now.

Adam ignored her. "First of all Polly is not going to end up like Abbey, she's actually worried about you thinking like that and wants you to know that she's okay. Gus, Polly's not going anywhere; we are stuck with her."

"What the hell is going on?" Kim hissed at her husband.

"Kim, not now." Adam snapped. He wasn't getting side tracked right now. This was about Angus and what he did. "What do you mean you wanted people to like you?"

"Some people think I am a goody two shoes because you are a cop and I am to much of a pussy to do anything because of you."

Kim held up her hand to stop Adam because she knew he was about to say something completely unhelpful, like that he should be scared of him. She actually didn't want him to speak at all. "Gus, how long has this been going on?"

"What?"

"This nonsense about people challenging you?"

"It was just this one guy and he was having a go at me." He stared at the floor unable to meet either of his parent's eyes. "He was teasing me because I like Olive and he was hanging around her and she seemed to like it and he said she likes boys who like to have fun."

"Oh for Fuck's sake. Are you fucking kidding me?" Kim was unimpressed by Adam's outburst judging by the filthy look she sent his way that made his toes curl slightly. The hole he was in was pretty deep so at this point he didn't really care. His hands were clenched tightly on top of his head and he was just about to wear a hole in the rug if he kept pacing the way that he did. He just wasn't ready to deal with more teenage angst.

"I'm sorry Dad. It was stupid." He knew it was his Dad that he had to convince he was sorry and his voice was teetering on the edge.

"Gus, come on Bud. You have a hundred girls who would do anything to get your attention. If this one girl doesn't like you it's not because of you, it's because of her."

"You don't understand Dad." Kim was rubbing his back lightly. He was struggling big time and they always thought he had too much Adam in him but it seemed that he just didn't have that same level of self-confidence when it came to girls.

"Gus, I do understand. You know I didn't just appear fully formed as your father, I was sitting exactly where you were one day." He paused briefly. "I remember this one chick, Jennifer Miles. I thought she was smokin' hot but she didn't even know I existed. I was crushed when she started dating this other guy and I was mortified when she figured out that I had left her a secret valentine and it was all over school the next day and they all just laughed at me. I skipped school for a week before my Mom found out and her and my Dad kicked me from here until Christmas. So I do understand."

"What did you do?"

"Got myself a hotter girlfriend." He shrugged. Kim wasn't quite sure how helpful this conversation was right now but she didn't really have much else to add either. How anyone couldn't like her boy was beyond her and she wanted to give this little minx a piece of her mind and perhaps even throw a set of cuffs on this smart-assed boy who goaded Angus into drinking.

While Kim's mind was swaying a little off course, Adam was clearly focussed on the Polly issue he'd bought up. That was far more pressing as far as he was concerned. "One thing I want to make very clear. All this with Polly, if you feel like it's getting too much for you I want you to tell me and we will help you, okay?" Adam was at his wits end. He had worried incessantly over how they had dealt with all. Had they done the right thing with Polly? Had he spent enough time with Gus? What about Kim, was he neglecting her? Was it wrong not to tell her? It was getting on top of him and Kim was scared that he was going to go too hard at Angus just because it was the final straw. "All you have to say is Dad I need help and buddy I'll help you, no questions asked." His voice was so shaky.

Gus nodded as Adam took a breath to steady himself. "Now, you have school tomorrow and for the next two weeks there is no going out, no parties or friends over. No sitting in your room playing computer games. Your mother and I will have a list of jobs that you need to do by tomorrow and we expect them to be done, no whinging or complaining. This cannot happen again Gus, I mean it."

He'd gotten off lightly, this time. Adam's overriding fear was that this was stemming from his concern about Polly more than anything else and it made him more worried than angry.

"Do you have something to tell me?" Kim barely waited for Gus to disappear back upstairs to bed. She had said goodnight to him so sweetly but as she turned back to face her husband her eyes were like ice.

"Gus is worried that Polly is going to die like Abbey." There was no spin that Adam could put on this to make it sound better.

"What?" Kim was horrified. "Since when? Why the hell am I just hearing about this now?"

"Since the day Abbey died. Kim he begged me not to tell you and I made the decision to honour that. If I broke his trust you think he was going to come to me if he was struggling? I wanted him to trust me." He pointed upstairs. "I didn't know this was going to happen?"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. Fucking hell Adam, this is bigger than some bro code."

"Don't you think I know that Kim?" He waved his hands in the air angrily. "So go ahead blame me, I know you fucking want too. It's always my fault isn't it? You don't care that I was trying to help Gus, trying to get him to trust me. You wouldn't have been able to help yourself; you know it. Even if I told you what he said and asked you to keep it to yourself you wouldn't have been able to stop yourself and then do you think Gus would have told me anything ever again?"

"Have a little bit of faith in me."

"I am just trying to do my best. I'm trying Kim. It's fucking hard; every single day I have no idea what's going to happen. Do you know what it's like to hear your son sobbing in your arms because he's worried his sister is going to kill herself?" It was bitter and blunt and Adam's anguish stunned Kim a little. "I couldn't tell you, I don't want you to worry about that." Her anger dissipated the more she watched her husband fall apart. "I had Polly downstairs a complete and utter mess and then I had Gus in my arms breaking my heart." Tears were spilling down his cheeks.

"Adam." Kim leapt up from the couch and placed both her hands on his cheeks and made him stand still. He hadn't stopped pacing; he was agitated and he was slowly losing control. "Let me help you. That's too big a burden for you to carry alone."

"No it's not. Not if it protects you. I hate seeing you worry about them like this."

"Baby. Don't, they are our children, ours. You don't have to do this alone."

"I do, I don't want to let you down, and I don't want to let them down."

"Adam. You have never let me down. Never." Kim stood on her tiptoes and kissed his wet cheeks. "You've never let them down. They are lucky to have you; I am lucky to have you. I thank my lucky stars everyday that I chose you. We don't work without you." Finally she felt him relax as the tension left his body and Kim staggered a little as he collapsed against her, but she held him up, she wasn't letting him fall.

They had two great kids, they had always counted their blessings at how little trouble they were. They had never been really sick or in trouble to any great degree, they were sweet and caring but also funny. Now suddenly everything had turned on its head. The last few months had been hard, harder than they every imagined. Sure, it could be worse, so much worse but this felt like such a heavy burden. They worried about them daily, more so than usual.

Their beautiful bright funny daughter was barely keeping her head above water. At a time in her life when she should have been enjoying her first boyfriend and feeling that innocent love she was reeling from hit after hit. How fortunate had they been that Sam had stood by her and it terrified them what would happen if and when they went their separate ways? It was bound to happen eventually and while they didn't want Polly to get too serious too quickly Sam had won them over.

Now Angus was buckling right before their eyes and they found it hard to not hold on too tight and push him further away when he was obviously crying out for help.

Then there was them, this was all pulling them in different directions almost daily and sometimes all they had was a few minutes alone to hang on to each other for dear life. And hang on they did but right now Adam didn't know if he had the strength to continue.

Kim could sense it, so she gave him all of hers. It was her turn to hold him up.


	30. Something Blue

"Are you ready?" Adam stuck his head into Polly's room, his jacket swinging from his fingertips. Sam took the opportunity to leave them alone and headed downstairs. He'd stayed again last night and Adam was slowly getting used to him being here more often than not. The kid had earned his respect; he'd done everything they'd asked of him and more. Adam couldn't help but think the reason Polly was doing so well was because Sam was here.

He certainly didn't mollycoddle her and they'd heard him calling her on her shit. Initially it annoyed Adam but Kim held him back and told him to just stay out of it. Polly obviously responded to it and it was nice to watch her deal with him, listen to him and come out a little stronger and more determined because of it. Sam had been good for her and right now they were glad he was around.

Perhaps Adam would never know that Sam was one of the reasons Polly came back to him that night and started talking to him again. Their relationship and bond had gone from strength to strength since then and Sam played a huge role in that. He pushed her, questioned her and told her some home truths. Polly had been pissed, she'd pushed him away but he got through to her and he supported her and this time she had turned to both of them when her world was in tatters.

She was perched on the edge of her bed and was clutching a piece of paper in her hands. "I don't think I can do it."

Adam came and sat next to her and gently placed his hand over her shaking ones. "You wanna know something?" Adam nudged her shoulder with his. "I believe you can. I believe in you."

"What if I cry?"

"So what?" he shrugged. "I will be."

"Yeah?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Polly, it's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. Abbey meant so much to you; it's okay to let people see that. If you want I will come up with you and help you, you just let me know."

"I want to try to do it myself."

"Okay." He squeezed her hand and pressed a little kiss on her temple. "We need to get going."

After careful thought, a talk with Sam and a long conversation with her Dad she decided not to view Abbey's body before the funeral. Up a few days ago she had been determined to do it. It was the hardest decision she had ever had to make.

"Hey Sweet Pea." Adam heard her come down stairs. He was nursing a glass of scotch and just trying to catch his breath. The last few days had been some of his toughest, Gus worried him and he just hated seeing Polly struggle so much but he was proud of the way she was fighting against it all.

He wasn't home when Polly lost it but Kim had tearfully told him how she struggled to pick up their heartbroken daughter. She had walked past Polly's room and was surprised by the crashing noises she heard. Knocking lightly on her door Polly didn't answer but Kim went in anyway when she heard her anguished cry. Her room was trashed, her entire wardrobe was on the floor and Polly was sitting in the middle of it, tears streaming down her face. Kim's heart broke when she looked up at her mother and sobbed. "I don't have anything to wear to a funeral." This was not supposed to happen to a seventeen year old, she should have been crying about having nothing to wear on a date, not to bury her best friend.

"Oh Baby." She pushed a pile of clothes out of the way and sat down on the floor, enveloping Polly in the fiercest of hugs as she cried. "Let it out Baby." They knew she'd cried with Sam, he'd told them that but so far they hadn't seen a lot of it, not this devastating gut wrenching sobbing she was doing right now.

"I don't have anything blue, I need to wear blue." Blue was Abbey's favourite colour. She loved lying on the grass on a hot summer day and admiring the blueness of the sky, she thought it looked pure and peaceful. When they had giggled about their dream wedding Abbey declared that she would wear blue, and her bridesmaids would wear blue and if she had a baby girl she'd dress her in blue. All those dreams were shattered and lying in tatters around Polly was the memory of that and the realisation that Abbey's dreams were never going to come true.

"We can get you something blue."

"Mom, I don't think I can do this. This is too hard."

"Polly Baby, I know sweetheart. I know you heart is broken and I want to fix it but we can't Baby. This happened, this is happening and you are doing so well."

"I don't feel like I am."

"You are."

"Nobody else seems to be like this." She twisted her hands tightly together and Kim hated seeing how anxious she was.

"Oh Baby." Tucking a curl of hair behind her ear she rested a hand on her daughter's damp cheek and felt her lean into it a little. "We are, we all are. Everyone handles things differently but there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Look at Gus, he went and got drunk because it was all too hard. Your Dad, Polly baby the day Abbey died he was sitting on the floor in the kitchen and he was so devastated that he couldn't breathe. Sam is trying really hard to be strong for you but your Dad spent a lot of time talking to him to calm him down, he was so upset that you got hurt the other day. Everyone is struggling Polly."

"What about you?"

"Every night Baby, your Dad is there for me every night. When it goes dark and quiet he wraps his arms around me and lets me cry."

"I miss Sam." Polly buried her face in her hands.

"I know you do." Kim grabbed her hands and pulled them away from her face. "He's still here Polly, he's here every morning and every night." While Sam had gone back home and back to school he still did come and take her to school in the mornings and would come over in the evenings. He would sit and study while Polly lay on her bed often staring into space and he would stay and cuddle her until she fell asleep. "You know he can't stay."

"I do, I just miss him. I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel like something is sitting on my chest and I wish he was here, like Dad is for you." She smiled sadly through her tears at her Mom. "I called him last night, about 3 I think."

"And?"

"He would have come over if I asked him too. I thought Dad would get mad though but I just needed to hear his voice, he told me he loved me."

"Why wouldn't he? You're loveable."

"I'm a nightmare. He's put up with so much shit from me. I don't know why he's still hanging around." Polly sat up a little straighter and tried to laugh but it was obviously strained.

Kim leant forward and kissed her forehead. "Ah, because he adores you. We all do."

"I'm scared he's going to leave me."

"Has he said something? What makes you say that?" It was seriously the last thing they needed right now. Kim certainly never got the impression that Sam was looking for a way out, and while they loved him that would quickly dissipate if he bailed on Polly right now. Adam would probably kill him.

"No nothing, I think I am just scared that he'll get sick of me crying all the time. He doesn't like people who are too much drama, that's why he didn't like Abbey at the start because she was too much and look at me, I am drama 24/7 right now." As much as she was trying to make a joke Kim could see right through her, Polly was hurting and stress just kept piling up.

"Polly, there is a difference between drama for drama's sake and what's going on here right now. And even with what happened with Abbey, there was a reason and I know Sam understands that. You know your Dad hates overly dramatic people too, people who make every little thing into a big deal and want everything to be about them all the time. People who keep going back for more when they know its bad news, those types of people are drama and hard to be around because nothing you do makes any difference. You are worth it, Sam thinks you are worth it."

"I know, but I still worry he'll get bored of all this." She waved her hand around her room.

"I'll tell you what I think. Firstly Sam is so in love with you, anyone with two eyes can see that. Secondly, a week ago how much fun were you having together? This is a bump in the road; he's not going anywhere anytime soon. You will have some rough patches; it's never smooth sailing when you are in love with someone. It's hard Polly, sometimes it's hard to see through all the crap and some days you just don't like them all that much, but you still love them and that's why you fight. Do you want to fight for Sam? Do you want him to fight for you?"

"Yes."

"Then do it Baby. Tell him all this, tell him how you feel. Tell him you are worried. I think he'll tell you that you have nothing to worry about." Kim had to wipe away more of her tears. "If he called you in the middle of the night because he was upset or worried what would you do?"

"Tell him how much I love him, I'd help him."

"Because you love him right?" Polly nodded as Kim pushed herself up off the floor and held out her hand for Polly. "And Polly, you know your Dad and I, sometimes we look at you and Gus and think _, 'wow'_ look what we did, we made these two beautiful human beings. We are so proud of you. We are in awe of you and how amazing you are." Polly smiled weakly and enjoyed her mother's arms around her. "Now, let's go shopping. You need a new dress."

"Dad will flip."

"Yes he will, and then he will pay the bill because that's what he does."

Adam did flip when he saw the bill for Polly's new outfit, he grumbled something about needing to catch some overtime and then hugged his wife and nodded when Kim whispered in his ear why she did it.

"Can I taste that?" Polly nodded at the glass in his hand.

"Sure." He handed it to her and watched and laughed as she coughed and screwed up her nose as she took a sip.

"Dad, that's nasty." She handed him back the glass and he put it on the table as she curled into his side.

"Yes it is."

"You and Mom always look like you enjoy it."

"We do. I am glad you don't though." Polly screwed up her nose again and Adam put one finger on his lips. "Shhh, don't tell your Mom." Particularly after Gus's nonsense on the weekend Kim would have a fit if she knew that Adam gave Polly some alcohol. They were different kids though and Polly was smarter in that regard, he certainly didn't have the same concerns for Polly and underage drinking as he had for Gus.

For a while she was quiet but Adam enjoyed the peace and he loved having Polly here with him, Sam had replaced him to a degree but she was still his baby girl. He could feel that she was here for a reason but until Polly was ready to tell him what it was he was happy to sit and wait.

"Are you okay Dad?" It was nice that she was thinking about someone else, lately Polly had been pretty internally focussed. They couldn't blame her, this was a huge deal for someone so young and they certainly had been more worried about what was going on with Polly than themselves lately.

"Yes Polly, I am. I am worried about you though."

"I'm okay." This conversation was certainly helping Adam feel better.

"You know you can say that you are not okay, there is nothing wrong with that."

"I think I am going to be okay. I don't want Friday to come but I just want to get it over with. That doesn't make sense does it?"

"Yes it does. It makes perfect sense. Saying goodbye to someone you love is hard and it hurts but it also means that you can start to move onto the next part."

"The next part?"

"Living again Polly. You need to start living again. We all do."

Polly didn't answer him; she just rested her head on his shoulder. After a while Adam decided to break the silence even though he was really enjoying the peace and quiet and the fact that Polly seemed so calm. The last few days she had been anything but calm, they had seen every emotion possible sometimes in the space of a few minutes. "Have you decided what you are going to do tomorrow?"

"No." She sat up and crossed her legs facing her Dad. "I mean I thought I had but now I am not sure."

Adam tucked her hair behind her ear. "What aren't you sure about?"

"I think I want to remember Abbey from that weekend in New York." That comment that her Dad made back on the day Abbey died that perhaps it was better to remember Abbey when she was happy had stayed with her and she just couldn't shake it. She still struggled with the decision though.

"That's not a bad thing Pol, that was a great weekend for both of you."

"Do you think she'll look different now?"

"Maybe. You know when your Pops died I didn't think twice about seeing him but then I regretted it. He was in uniform and that made it all too real for me. I wear that uniform and so does your Mom and his hair didn't look quite right and I never forgot it. It still gets to me." Bob Ruzek had died when Polly was eight and it had been such a shock. He was fine one day and gone the next. While Adam hadn't been close to his Dad when he was younger when he had become a cop his Dad was his biggest supporter. He loved being a grandfather and tried to make up for being an indifferent father to Adam when he was small by being a doting Pops to Polly and Angus. They adored him and he spoilt them rotten. He'd take them away for weekends and always jumped at the chance to spend time with them and would turn up at anything they had going on.

Polly couldn't really remember her Pops all that well, but she did remember that he was fun. The only memory she had of him dying was that her Mom and Dad were sad. It was another thing her Dad didn't talk about much; he talked about his Dad but not about him dying or his funeral. She thought that she knew her Dad pretty well but now that she was getting older gradually she was learning more and more about what made him tick. He wasn't just a 'Dad' he was this pretty awesome guy.

"So you don't think I should do it?" Polly just wanted someone to tell her what to do. Sam wouldn't and now neither would her Dad.

She had talked to Sam about it but he had never had to make that decision. His grandparents were still alive and no one especially close to him had died. He'd never even been to a funeral so he had no idea what he would do in that situation. They'd stopped on the way home from school for a coffee; while Polly hated it Sam was the complete opposite so they grabbed a take-away coffee for him and a hot chocolate for Polly, Sam didn't even need to ask what Polly wanted, he knew what she'd have and she really liked that. They just walked for a while in comfortable silence. "What would you do?"

"About what?" Sam had a tight grip on her hand and was just trying to enjoy the next hour or so. He'd found that when they were at home Polly got a little intense about the whole situation they were in but when he took her out she seemed to let it go and just enjoy the fresh air and being outside.

"Abbey, would you go see her?"

"No." Sam thought that Polly was asking him to go and see her and he didn't think that was right. They were barely friends and while he hated what had happened to her he didn't feel close enough to her to want to see her body, not even if Polly asked him too. He wasn't afraid to say no to Polly and wasn't the type of person who said yes to everything just to please or impress someone. "I'll come with you if you want to see her but I am not going to."

"Do you think I should?"

"It's not my decision."

"I know it's my decision." Polly tried to pull her hand away but Sam didn't let go. "I was just asking for your opinion. If you're not interested in listening to me then just tell me."

He stopped and tugged on Polly's hand when she tried to keep walking and pulled her back to face him. "Sorry, I thought you were asking me to see Abbey?" It was a little challenging some days to figure out which way Polly was going, her mind could pinball around from one topic to another on a good day, let alone when she was stressed to the max and so emotional.

"Would that be so bad?"

"No, but Polly I wouldn't feel right about seeing her, she wasn't my friend."

"I know you didn't like her?"

"I didn't like some of the things she did to you at the start, the way she treated you, that's true." He shook his head when he could tell Polly was about to give him both barrels. "I now know there is a reason why, but you've got to admit at the time it was pretty awful. She was your friend, your best friend and if you need to see her then I will go with you and wait outside for you. As to if I think you should, no I don't but that's me being selfish."

"Selfish?"

"I don't want things to be like before." Polly cocked her head a little; she didn't understand what he meant. "I am scared you'll push me away again."

"I won't, Sam I promise. I need you." She buried her head in his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I don't want to do this without you."

"Polly, I'm not going anywhere. You do what you need to do."

"Her Dad wants me to go. They'll hate me if I don't."

"Do what you need to do, for you. I don't really care if they hate you, just don't hate yourself." Sam kissed her forehead. Sam was one step back from it all so his only concern was about Polly and how it would affect her. That's all he cared about. Polly worried what other people would think about her decision and it was hard to get her just to focus on herself and what she wanted. This had to be about what was right for her. "And me, don't hate me." He chuckled lightly.

"You, hate you? Not likely."

Polly was better prepared to handle her Dad's answer now because she could better understand why everyone was worried about her, didn't make it easy though. Adam shook his head. "I can't tell you what to do Polly, it's up to you. Whatever you decide your Mom and I will be with you, okay?"

"Do you think her parents will be upset if I don't go?" She had grabbed a cushion and sat in her lap and hugged it tightly. Polly didn't want to let anyone down.

"That shouldn't matter. This is about you Polly; please remember that. I want you to do what is best for you. You have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. If you decide to go you can never unsee it; if you don't you can't change your mind. Right now, this is the biggest decision you have to make and Sweet Pea you have to make it on your own. Nobody can make it for you." He could see her starting to shake.

"I asked Sam."

"And what did he say?"

"Same as you. That is was my decision and I need to not worry about other people and worry about my self." She squeezed her eyes shut and Adam waited. "Dad, I don't want to see Abbey." It broke his heart to see the tears streaming down her cheeks and he placed both hands on her cheeks and tried to catch them all.

"That's okay Polly, that's okay."

Eventually she stopped crying and wiped her face and looked at her Dad. "About Sam." she said simply, changing the subject quickly. The decision was made, she'd put it out there and her Dad told her it was okay and she needed to stop thinking about it.

"What about Sam?"

"You let him stay." They hadn't really talked about why her Dad let him stay.

"Yes we did."

"Thank you." She leant forward and kissed her Dad on the cheek. "He was really sweet. I loved having him here; he just helped me. I felt so out of control, I could feel myself slipping back to how I was before, when all this started with Abbey and I didn't want to be like that again but I didn't know how to stop it, Sam did, he just held me and made me stop and breath a little bit. Dad, I needed him." Adam was impressed that she had such a good grip on her feelings and emotions and what she needed to do to help herself. She'd learnt something, through all this shit, she'd learnt a lot about herself and his heart was full of pride for her; she was his superstar.

"I'm glad." Adam touched her cheek, catching a stray tear on his thumb. "You are a lucky girl."

"I know. I am lucky because of Sam but more than that I am lucky because I am a Ruzek."

"Being a Ruzek is a good thing. Especially in this house."

"Can he stay tomorrow night?" How did he know this was coming? To be fair Abbey's funeral was going to be a rough day for her. They had opened a can of worms by allowing Sam to stay when Polly was at her worst. They were grateful for everything Sam had done for them and for Polly but was it fair to stop it now, was it fair to say it was okay then but not anymore? They were kids technically but in a matter of weeks and months they would be adults and at the end of the day they couldn't stop them having a relationship. Wasn't it better that they had that in the safety of their homes? In a place were they knew they were safe, surrounded by people who loved them and could support them.

He told her that he would talk to her mother and Sam's parents and let her know.

Kim called Sam's mum the next day and they decided to allow Sam to stay the night before the funeral, knowing full well that it also meant he'd stay after it as well. None of them were surprised by the request, although Sam hadn't bought it up with his parents. Polly had told him how much she loved having him with her and he really did like waking up next to her in the morning. They weren't quite sure how they were going to manage it in the future but he hoped that they had many more nights together and when it wasn't all about hurt and anger and grief.

After the funeral and the dust settled a little they would get together with Sam's parents and have a discussion about what the ground rules were going forward. Polly also needed to understand that just because they would allow Sam to sleep over or Polly to stay at his house that didn't mean that if this relationship ended it wasn't a given that the next boyfriend would be granted the same leeway. It was not open slather.

Gus had been surprised to see his Dad leaning against his truck outside of school a few days after the whole drinking saga. The last thing he needed was his Dad checking up on him, it had the potential to make things worse for him.

"Hey Bud." Adam nodded at his son and smiled at the girl he was talking to. She smiled back but quickly scuttled off before Adam could introduce himself.

"You don't need to pick me up Dad, I know I have to go straight home." He threw his bag in the back of his Dad's truck and climbed in.

"I know you would." Adam jumped in. "I thought we'd go hit some things. I feel like hitting something."

"Bad day?" Gus knew that his Dad often went to Antonio's boxing gym when he needed to let off steam. They'd been a few times together but not for a while and boxing wasn't really his thing so eventually Adam stopped trying to make him like it. His Dad needed to stay fit and strong for his work and he did remember having fun running around here when he was smaller with Lucas wearing gloves that were far too big for them. Gus much preferred when they went running together.

"Bad few days Gus."

"I guess I didn't help?"

"It wasn't great Bud. I really wished you'd said something. I want to help you."

"I know; I'm sorry Dad."

Adam ruffled his hair and chuckled as he tried to dodge out of the way. "I know Bud. Say, who's the girl?"

"Just a friend."

"She's pretty." The death stare that he got told him in no uncertain terms that this conversation was not going anywhere. It was not like the drug fuelled ramblings that Adam had the privilege of enduring back when he thought all this crap was in their rear vision mirror. That whole episode seemed like a walk in the park compared to this.

Adam let Gus lay a few punches on him and did his best to avoid hitting his son, although he did knock him on his ass when Gus held the bag for him and got a little distracted watching what was going on the ring rather than what his Dad was doing. They stopped and Adam grabbed a coffee and Gus a shake on the way home. "Thanks Dad." He wasn't just thanking him for the drink. He really did enjoy the time they'd spent together and his Dad didn't really try and lecture him about the weekend, which he was fully expecting.

"Anytime Gus. Just say the word."

Kim loved how happy they both seemed when they got home. Adam had caught Kim briefly in the District between his comings and goings and told her that he was going to pick Gus up and spend some time with him. Kim loved how much he was tyring to figure out how to help Gus and show him how much he cared and that they weren't angry with him. If this didn't work she wasn't sure Adam would cope. This was as much for Gus's well being as it was for Adam's but Kim had faith in both her boys and judging by the mood when they got home it seemingly went well.

He still had his chores to do and his computer was taken away but his parent's weren't angry with him. They were disappointed and he hated that he did that, he hated letting them down.

Polly stood in between her parents. She held her mother's hand tightly and her Dad's hand was on her back as they led her into the church. Walking in just behind them was Sam and her brother.

Kim had shed a few tears when she saw Polly wearing her grandfather's ring on a chain around her neck. It wasn't just that it was Adam's father ring that bought a tear to her eye it was the fact that it belonged to Gus now and he had given it to his sister to wear. They'd know that Gus had gone in to talk to Polly last night but Adam and Kim had no idea what had gone on, obviously he had given her this to wear but they would probably never know why he did it or what they talked about and that was okay.

When Adam saw it he had to take a deep breath and turn away. With every single passing day these two continued to blow them away.

While Adam and Kim sat either side of Polly in the church with Angus next to his Mom, Sam sat behind her and watched her every move. His eyes never left her face as she got up to speak about Abbey. She was amazingly calm and spoke beautifully about her friend and while Adam was prepared to go and stand up there with her she didn't need it. A few times her voice shook and she just took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment and continued on. When Polly sat back down both her parents embraced her and Sam rested his hand on her shoulder, he leant forward briefly and kissed the back of her neck and he knew that Polly felt it. It was a bittersweet moment, Polly's head was bowed and her parent's each rested their foreheads on hers and with their arms around her back they not only comforted Polly but also each other. Angus leant across his Mom and Kim covered his hand with hers as it rested on his sister's leg. This family were tight, when the shit really hit that fan they rallied around each other and then they surrounded themselves with a tight web of friends.

Adam honoured Murray's request, much to Janice's annoyance initially to be one of the pallbearers so Sam stepped up and took his place beside Polly and reached for her hand. She curled her fingers tightly around his at the top of the aisle and he didn't leave her side all afternoon. He was there when she cried, he was there when she laughed and he was there when she just needed someone to steady her. He also stayed beside her when she talked to Janice.

Adam watched the exchange and he was ready to step in if things went pear shaped but Janice accepted Polly's hug and they shed a few tears together. Polly told her how much she loved Abbey and missed her and she wished she could have helped her more.

"Polly, I know. I know you love Abbey and always will. Thank you for not turning your back on her, you are the only one who never let her down."

"I feel like I did."

"Sweetheart, you never did." And that was the god honest truth, of all the people who let her down along the way. Her mother, who bought that man into her life, her father who was in another city while she was being brutally abused, her 'boyfriend' who turned and ran at the first sight of trouble, the only person who fronted up for Abbey every single day was Polly.

Sam stayed the night, it wasn't even really talked about and he threw caution to the wind and tried to show Polly how much he loved her. He tried to fix her broken heart, even for just a little while. She may have cried the whole time but she never let him stop, it was confronting for him but it solidified their relationship, they were teenagers suddenly thrust into a very adult world and they flourished. It wasn't easy and at times they struggled but they didn't give up on each other. Both their parents hoped that some time soon they'd get to really enjoy what it felt like to be young and in love.

Adam was proud of Gus when he saw how he stepped up and took his father's spot beside his Mom without him even having to ask. He slipped his arm through hers and stayed close until Adam could get back to them. He leant in to his son and grabbed him around the neck and whispered his thanks into his ear and told him how proud he was and how much he loved him.

It had been a long week. Gus had taken a few days to get over his hangover and he apologised to his parents for his behaviour. Adam made sure he took the time to talk to him everyday, he picked him up from school and spent that time with him and he made sure he was home for dinner every night. They tried desperately to show their kids how much they loved them and they circled the wagons around them. They were so focussed on making sure Polly and Angus were okay they forgot about each other.

Polly kept forging ahead and she refused to let his beat her. Gus was took his punishment on the chin, accepted his Dad's help and worked hard to earn back his parents trust. The whole incident had put the wind up him, it honestly scared the crap out of him and he hated that he let his parents down.

The fog was clearing again and Kim and Adam now needed to make sure that this wasn't going to beat them either.


	31. We Did That

"You look pretty hot Mom." Polly chirped as Kim came down stairs in an ankle length halter neck dress. It was a dark green jersey wrap dress that was beautifully draped, her hair was twisted up away from her face and she was still carrying her stilettos in her hand. Kim wasn't sure about wearing it but Polly had insisted that it wasn't too young or slutty looking. She had even told her that Dad would be happy if it was just a little bit slutty.

He was taking her out for dinner.

Adam realised how much they needed it when he got home late from work a week after the funeral and found Kim sitting at the bottom of the shower sobbing her heart out. In an instant he was climbing in there, clothes and all wrapping his strong arms around his wife. "Darlin'. What you doing in here?"

"Your clothes are wet."

Adam laughed. "Yes Darlin' they are. What you doing?"

"I don't know. It's so fucking hard Adam. My Babies are hurting and I can't help them. I can't stop it."

"Oh… my beautiful baby." He reached up and turned off the taps. "Hop up Darlin'." Backing out of the shower he pulled Kim to her feet and grabbed a towel to wrap around her before pulling her into his chest. "It's okay Baby. They are doing okay. What happened?"

"Nothing. I just saw them sitting there tonight at dinner and they looked sad. I know Gus was worried about you still being at work. Sam is sick and Polly freaked out and I came up here and I didn't want them to see me cry so I hid in here. I miss you." Adam had been crazy with work since he went back, he felt he needed to make up some time and pay everyone back for picking up his slack and that meant he wasn't around much. Kim assured him it was fine but it just overwhelmed her today.

"Aren't you precious?"

"Can I be selfish for a minute?"

Adam nodded as found Kim's robe and tossed the towel aside and helped her slip it on, bundling her up tightly and finding a dry towel for her hair. He didn't do it often and in all honestly she wouldn't want him to but when he took control and helped her like this it made her love him even more. He always knew when she needed a bit of love and TLC. It was sweet and romantic. "You can."

"Why is this happening to our babies? What did they do to deserve this, they are beautiful children and they never want to hurt anyone, so why them? Why us? It isn't fair?"

"That's not selfish, Kim, that's being a Mom and you love them so much. From the moment we saw that little word on that stick we had to be selfish. That's what being a parent is, being selfish for your own children. We've loved them as hard as we could and because of that I know they are going to be okay. Not today or tomorrow but they will be okay because we love them and raised them right. We raised them to be able to handle this."

"I worry about them, that they won't be okay."

"They are lucky because they have you as their Mom." Adam reached for her hairbrush. "I've seen you pick yourself up so many times, dust yourself off and keep going. Now look at them doing that, sure they may stumble a little because they are young and they are still earning, but they are learning from the best. We taught them to be resilient and now we have to let them show us that we did a good job."

"I only got up because you helped me."

"So we help them get up." He kissed her forehead, staying there for a few sweet moments. "And we will every single time."

"You are wet."

"Yes I am and cold." Kim started unbuttoning his shirt. "Wanna warm me up a bit?"

"Always." Once he got his shirt off Kim started working at his belt. Getting out of soaking wet jeans was never easy or a quick process and they started laughing when he almost toppled over in his haste to get undressed. "Darlin' remind me to get undressed before I get in the shower with you next time."

"You feel so cold." His skin was a little clammy as Kim ran her hands over his chest.

"I am cold so you have a job to do." He scooped her up in his arms and he decided in that moment that she needed to be loved and adored again; they both needed it. They would need to go away, leave everyone and everything behind, even just for one night and just be Adam and Kim again. Not parents, not friends or work colleagues; they needed to be selfish; they needed to just be lovers.

Unfortunately he'd been called into work, or so he told her at the last minute while Kim and Polly had been out getting their nails done and Kim was now going to meet Adam at the restaurant. Kim had been disappointed until Adam reminded her how much of a thrill it would be for him to be sitting waiting for her and not being able to control himself when the hottest woman on the planet walked towards him.

'Where am I meeting you?"

"Polly knows."

"Polly's not driving me." Polly was not the most confident driver, as much as Adam tried to teach her and she had spent more time screaming nervously at every little obstacle that Adam had thrown his hands in the air and declared that he was done teaching her.

"No, Polly's not driving you. I want to see you in one piece and calm. Getting in a car with that nightmare would not achieve my goal of making you relax." He'd laughed down the phone. "I've organised a town car to pick you up."

"Adam Ruzek, are you trying to seduce me?" Kim was giddy with excitement.

"Why Kim Burgess, yes I am."

Polly was under strict instructions to keep the destination a secret so no matter how many times Kim asked her or tried to trip her up she gave her mother nothing. She was so excited when her Dad told her all his plans. She loved his romantic side when he made the effort. He knew how to make her Mom feel like a queen almost everyday but some times he just went above and beyond and Polly hoped that Sam was taking notes.

Kim had always loved the Waldorf Astoria and when the car dropped her off she found Adam standing in the foyer, dressed in a suit, sans tie of course but looking every bit as handsome as the day she married him. He smiled when he saw her, his face lighting up and he really did think that she was the most beautiful woman he knew. Physically beautiful but it was more than that; it was everything in between. Lately he had been watching her fight, defend and claw to protect their children. They'd been battered from all sides, they'd been places they could have never imagined, they'd fought and cried together and Adam was amazed constantly at how strong she'd been through it all. Both of them, at one point had stumbled and they had to wax and wane who was the one to do the heavy lifting.

He loved her, his whole heart sat in the palm of her hand and as much as he loved his children, and he was so passionate about them that he'd walk to the ends of the earth for them but for Kim he'd flat out run.

"Don't you scrub up well?" Kim smiled as he reached out and took her hand. Kim leant into him for a kiss, which he happily acquiesced, it was soft and sweet and full of promise for the night ahead.

"I love this place."

"I know." He turned and led her towards the lifts.

"Adam, what are you doing?"

"Taking you up to our room."

"How did I know you had something up your sleeve?" Kim could barely contain herself. Adam didn't do this often, but when he did go all out he always knocked it out of the park. She also knew not to even bother asking about what he'd organised for the kids because he always made sure that was sorted when he did this. Kim didn't have to worry about a thing and that was precisely his plan.

"Because you know me." Adam tugged on her hand as the doors slid closed and squeezed her hand. "I just want to spend some time with you."

"Best night ever."

"You've only been here five minutes." He pushed her up against the side of the lift and rested his hands on the railing either side of Kim. This was another thing he did that made her melt. How easy would it have been to press his body against hers and make his intentions obvious but he never did. This was so much sexier, he wasn't touching her and Kim was turning to putty.

"Don't care." Kim slipped one hand inside his jacket and rested it on his chest. "What else do you have planned?"

"Like I am going to tell you."

Waiting in their room was a bottle of whiskey and a sweet view over Chicago. Rather than pouring two glasses Adam only poured one and they sat out on the tiny balcony, Kim's knees draped over Adam's legs as they passed the glass back and forth between them. "This is perfect." Kim leant in and kissed him and lightly licked his lips enjoying the taste on whiskey on her tongue.

"You look beautiful."

"Polly helped me pick it out. She thinks it's just the right amount of slutty for you."

Adam didn't quite agree. "I would say sexy rather than slutty." He ran his fingers up and down her bare spine. "But you are missing something." Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the necklace and let it dangle from his fingers. "You should wear this."

Kim's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped as she lightly touched the three little hearts. Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes as he unclasped it and leant forward and did it up around her neck. Running a finger along the chain he adjusted the hearts before leaning forward and kissing them. "Adam, oh my god."

"Polly told me I should let you wear it, I didn't realise the reason why you never wore it. Because of me?" he rested his hand over it and Kim covered his hand with hers.

"I could always see the pain in your eyes when I had it on. I hate that."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's a little strange but knowing how much it still breaks your heart makes me love you even more. It's comforting to me that it still means so much to you." They spent a few minutes in silence; Adam was content just to leave things as they were. He still didn't want to talk about it but he was happy to see how much Kim appreciated having the necklace on as she played with it gently.

"We have a dinner reservation in half an hour."

"Can we..." Adam quickly pressed one finger to her lips to stop her talking and shook his head. This was something else he had perfected, the slow burn. The seduction in the lift, the whiskey, the beautifully bittersweet moment with their three little hearts and dinner reservations was all part of it. He would touch her, tell her things or look at her until she couldn't stand it anymore and then he would take his time loving her and it drove her wild and it was frustratingly exquisite and he was so fucking good at it.

Kim held out her hand to pull him up off the couch. "Have I told you how handsome you look?"

"Thank you. You make me look good though." His wink was very sexy. "Always have."

"I'm really hungry but I don't want to leave here."

"You need some food for energy, I don't want you to fatigue too early." He tugged her towards the door. They laughed a lot during dinner, they didn't sit across from across from each like was usual, Adam asked for a table to be set up so they could be sit next to each other that way he could touch her. Why would you want to have a romantic dinner with someone and not be able to even touch them? He didn't want to lean across a table to hold her hand, he wanted to feel her hand on his thigh, he wanted to be able to feel her and smell her. He wanted to be close and that way he could lean over and whisper in her ear exactly what he wanted to do with her once they were back in the room.

He had one more surprise for her though. Kim kicked off her shoes and curled her feet up under her on the couch while Adam disappeared and ferreted around in the closet. A smile spread across her face when pulled out his guitar. He rarely played it anymore, and lately it had been the last thing on his mind or so she thought. Staring straight at his wife he started playing their wedding song.

His voice was deep and a little husky and the longer he sang the shakier his voice got. Kim just let the tears fall, her hand on her chest, on their three little hearts and watched this absolute beautiful specimen of a man make her feel like the only person in the world.

As he got close the end of the song Kim danced across the room in front of him, swinging her hips slowly, she closed her eyes and let her hair out and he watched as it tumbled down over her shoulders. She grabbed the neck of the guitar when he finished and lifted it from his lap and lay it in the chair, when she turned back around he was standing, his hands in his pockets and he looked mesmerised as she took three quick steps grabbed both his cheeks with her hands and smashed her lips into his. Suddenly all bets were off. The slow seductive game they had been playing was over and it was fierce and primal and absolute raw passion at least until all their clothes were discarded and then Adam returned to the slow burn as he drove her wild with slow sweet kisses, his warm breath and rough stubble tickling her skin as his gentle fingers covered every inch of her until she was almost whimpering under his slow and steady touch.

He was such a contradiction. At times he'd have his hands on the throat of a perp and they tough and strong and could bring a grown man to his knees but right now he had his hands on his wife's throat and they were lovingly caressing her and her knees were buckling out of the sheer pleasure he was giving her.

Adam rolled over and reached for his phone when it beeped. He smiled when he saw the message and looked over at the sleeping body beside him. He was a little torn, he wanted to wake her up and show it to her but he also wanted to watch her sleep for a little while longer or more precisely he wanted to feel her sleeping next to him as he cuddled up to her completely naked body.

It had been a little bit of heaven, the calm after the storm. Coming here for the night had been just what they needed. They had done this several times before, when things had got rough and they decided that enough was enough and that they needed to put things in the past and move on this was how they did it. They spent a weekend together, without distractions, without the kids and just become them again for a while. It had first happened after they lost the baby, and then again when Adam had come back from his three month Undercover Op and they struggled for a while until Kim booked them a weekend away and they righted that listing ship. Along the way they did it every now and then when they felt things were a little rocky.

He spent a long time loving her last night, or more precisely they'd spent most of the night loving each other. Taking turns to give love and pleasure then receive it. It was the purest confirmation of their love for each other. It wasn't about the sex, sure it was part of it, a very pleasurable part but it was more about the act of giving yourself completely to one person and knowing that everything they did was designed to make you feel like you were the only person that mattered in that moment, your happiness was what meant the most and that led to incredibly emotional, deeply connected, mind-blowingly awesome sex.

Adam sent off a quick 'thanks' and threw his phone back on the cabinet beside the bed. As he snuggled into the back of Kim and kissed her bare shoulders she stirred a little.

"Was that the kids?" she asked sleepily.

"Yep." Adam mumbled. "They are up and all good."

Al was taking Gus to his game; they still always tried to make sure that someone was there to watch him, especially lately and Gus would be happy to see Al and Polly also promised to go. Sam was working so at least he was pretty sure that they weren't just going to romp around the house while Gus was out. The only romping he wanted to think about was his own. And they had certainly done that.

"I get the feeling you are not about to go back to sleep are you?" Kim hadn't opened her eyes but she did smile and Adam could feel Kim starting to respond as his hand was starting to work its way down her body.

"No." Adam's was making it blatantly obvious what he wanted and Kim sighed and rolled over and Adam instantly captured her lips in a passionate kiss. "No need to sound so excited."

Kim chuckled and slid her hand beneath the sheets and grabbed hold of him. "I can tell you are."

"Perhaps if you weren't naked, alone with me in this amazing hotel room with no kids to interrupt us and not currently playing with my junk I might have let you go back to sleep." Kim rolled her head to the side and let Adam have full access to her neck.

"I can stop." She pulled her hand away and Adam groaned, grabbing her hand and returning it to its original task.

"Don't you dare stop now."

When they finally made it out of bed, mostly because they were starving Adam asked her if she wanted to see the message from the kids. He patted his knee and asked her to come and sit with him. He hadn't seen it either so had no idea what the video message was but he had asked Polly and Gus to send him something to show their mom.

 _'Hey Mom. We just wanted to tell you how much we love you and thank you for being there for us lately. It's been a bit rough but through it all you were so awesome and I hope you know how lucky we feel because we have you as our Mom. We love you so much. Enjoy your time with Dad you deserve it.'_

Kim had her hands over her mouth willing herself not to cry as she watched Polly and Angus on the video. Adam just watched her; she was so beautiful when she was in love with their babies.

But they weren't done.

 _'Speaking of Dad, you are our Superhero. You and Mom go out everyday and try to protect people you don't know and we are so proud of that but Dad, you protect us, you love us even though we drive you insane sometimes, and we love how much you love our Mom. We are so glad Mom choose you to be our Dad because we love you and love everything you do for us. Oh, and we are glad you choose Mom too. We are the luckiest kids in the world. We can't wait to see you both again, because that's when we are happiest, when we are with you. We love you both.'_

"I wasn't expecting that. I didn't ask them to do that." He was a little stunned and just as he loved watching Kim love her babies, she adored watching Adam loving them too. He'd always been such a passionate father.

"They are good kids aren't they?" Kim rested her head on his shoulder and enjoyed feeling this close to him; the peace, the steadiness they gave each other and the pure love. The love they had for each other was unrelenting, it was honest and raw and deep. They could niggle each other, snipe and push each other to the limit but they never stopped feeling that deep all consuming love that they had nurtured and enjoyed; even when it felt overwhelming and the challenges seemed unsurmountable, they just kept going.

"Of course, they are part you and part me. We always said we made beautiful babies."

"I am proud of you." Kim leant and whispered in his ear. "You are an amazing father Adam. You've made them great."

"Nah, we've made them great." He kissed her softly, resting his hands on her cheeks and looking way beyond her eyes into her soul. "We did that."

 _ **A/N: Well folks, that's it for this story. I want to thank you for all your kind words, reviews and suggestions on how to improve my story and my writing. I do try and take your suggestions for what you want to see into consideration. This was an interesting challenge for me to write as it wasn't really anything I thought I could do, so I hope it didn't disappoint.**_

 _ **Now we wait to see what the new season brings for our favourites. Hopefully that might inspire me to write another story, but right now I might just take a Burzek break.**_

 _ **You are all awesome, thanks for your support. It means a lot that people enjoy my stories as much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I might see you all again some day if I get another brainwave. Until then, take care.**_


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